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My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice - Family (4) - Nairaland

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He Did Not Enjoy Intimacy With Me, And Concluded I Am Cheating / I Can’t Bear My Husband’s Strong Sexual Urge: Wife / My Wife Has Little Or No Urge For Intimacy. Possible Causes & Solutions. (2) (3) (4)

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Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by Thylord(m): 11:37pm On Mar 31, 2016
deen11:
I feel u man! Just keep understudying her,and sure you would get her weakness...

Surprise her with many things...vis-a-vis
Looking good and smelling nice
Assisting with house chores as far as u could
Buying her gifts
Taking her out to whr she hasn't been before
Engaging her with sensational talks and so on
.......the list is endless man.

Don't be discouraged and I hope one will work out except if she is no longer interested in the union. Best of luck!!!!!
all these to put her in the mood,for watin na.

3 Likes

Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by DetectiveDeb: 11:38pm On Mar 31, 2016
Op, let's start from your breath, cos that's one thing that puts women REAL off!
Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by Nobody: 11:39pm On Mar 31, 2016
If u're not married with a baby,u should keep ur mouth shut and stop leading OP astray. @Op a few people have spoken my mind already. After birth,ur wife need some time to get herself back 5months aighnt it at all. Also u need to give her all d assistance she need with house chores if u don't have anyone helping her out at home. When she's stressed up due to house chores,d last thing that would cross her mind is sex. Finally u need to communicate with her precisely how u feel. She might not even know dis whole stuff is eating u up. Trust me,open up to her u'll see how things will change gradually. I have been in ur shoes twice now and I know precisely how u feel,its damn temporal bro.

1 Like

Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by emajoe: 11:39pm On Mar 31, 2016
Thanks for all the comments and suggestions... These r answers to most of the questions asked:
Am very attractive with no body odour what-so-ever.
Our baby is 5 months old now, so the issue that she is still recovering from postnatal is out of it.
If am asked to judge myself, I'll say am romantic.
I feel the issue is, she does not just enjoy making love. So the solution is I seek is finding a way to make her enjoy the act. Thank you all.

Well @ OP, just ask yourself these few questions:
- how long is ur fore play
- how long lasting after start of match
- how do you both enjoy sweet talks at half time
- how many non-violent styles do you employ
- when last did you attempt to lift her up
- how did you appreciate delivery of baby
- when about taking baby from her, do you (mrs.stakinly)touch her breast
- xyz.
I didn't add any question mark in case these don't make sense to you, but as you need solutions, ADD THOSE QUESTION MARKS.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by Thylord(m): 11:40pm On Mar 31, 2016
austine4real:
Mayb the load is too much 4her to bear, wash clothes,cook,breastfeed,wash yansh


and u go com bak 4rm work remove ur smelling prik 4rm ur dirty boxers and say baby spread ur legs i want fvck,no intimacy no hw are u? No hw did ur day went


my broda u must b wicked oo aaah u must be D 2nd satan sef


do u communicate things to her,i mean hw u feel?
y na
Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by komododragons: 11:40pm On Mar 31, 2016
huntax:

That isn't a factor. The fact that she got married to him should be enough to verify that she was attracted to him then... so that shouldn't change within a year.
stop reasoning with WOMEN! how will someone married to someone without any form of attractiveness!

2 Likes

Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by AreaFada2: 11:41pm On Mar 31, 2016
akin33:
My wife does same with only reason that she did not naturally like the thing since 10 years now, we still fight over it. The worse is that she has been using same sex position in the past 9 years. Tell her to change position, she will say, this is the position she only enjoy. Keep managing her like that.

Ol boy, you try.
Many of our women are very prude.
Do a doggy, na lie. No thought about the position the hubby enjoys.

Laziness is a big factor too. Positions require some fitness & stamina. Most girls have none these days.

One reason you see a guy dating or married to a pretty girl, yet sleeps with a not so fine girl.

Women like to blame poor bedmatics on guys, while sleeping on their back like a log. grin cheesy

It really takes the grace of God not to cheat if sex is poor.

6 Likes

Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by Akhimien78(m): 11:41pm On Mar 31, 2016
Thinking of cheating on her to punish her angry .....m disappointed in you young man u lack love and respect n most importantly communication.....when was the time u made her laugh so much? Instead of u tinking of cheating y dont u maybe tak her out for a date have a memorable evening then u sit her n ask her whats disturbing her n tell her your observation lately n how well youve been disturbed......women needs much more care and serious concern frm their men....Dont Cheat u dont deserve her if u do......

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by Nobody: 11:42pm On Mar 31, 2016
Ahmed0336:
were her eyes closed when he married her? undecided
I can't thank u enof....I wish Lalas could award u 4 dis response
Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by huntax(m): 11:43pm On Mar 31, 2016
ivyT:

LWKMD,are u kidding me? Spirit husband? Haba
Lol that's what happens when MFM people join nairaland.
Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by Dirkcoyt: 11:44pm On Mar 31, 2016
TheArchangel:

Take yours and give the other to your wife.

Continue using them until you guys learn how to communicate and convey your needs.

You're really silly and naughty at same time grin
Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by komododragons: 11:44pm On Mar 31, 2016
deen11:
I feel u man! Just keep understudying her,and sure you would get her weakness...

Surprise her with many things...vis-a-vis
Looking good and smelling nice
Assisting with house chores as far as u could
Buying her gifts
Taking her out to whr she hasn't been before
Engaging her with sensational talks and so on
.......the list is endless man.

Don't be discouraged and I hope one will work out except if she is no longer interested in the union. Best of luck!!!!!
just because of yansh make I do all this stuff undecided

all this is RUBBISH! the best method is to ignore her and fvck outside. her head will come back to her senses.

2 Likes

Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by Toks2008(m): 11:44pm On Mar 31, 2016
kola1930:
We've been married for a year now and blessed with a pretty daughter. My wife feels little or no urge to be intimate. Its been more than a month now since I had s*x. Reason being that, am angry inside of me that she is always not in the mood, so I decided to hold myself and see when she'll realize it that am angry about it and do the needful. But it seems like am just suffering my self because she seems not to realize she needs to do something fast. I am feeling like cheating on her as a way to punish her maybe she'll realize it that she needs to satisfy her husband to keep him away from other ladies outside. I urgently need advice from married nairalanders... Is the situation d same or similar in ur marriage, and how do I resolve this differences. Am really disturbed

Try to understand her sexuality..

Most ladies love lots of oral play and would even prefer that to penetrative sex most times.

Sit her down and ask her how she loves to be touched,the most errotic part of her body and so on.

Never ask a lady for sex..did you get that part? get her into the mood and watch her beg for it.

on the final note,learn how to give your WIFE mouth action and always do this for her and watch her beg for your thing...

2 Likes

Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by Nobody: 11:46pm On Mar 31, 2016
Pidggin:
Are you physically attractive? undecided

What a stuupid question!

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by huntax(m): 11:46pm On Mar 31, 2016
komododragons:
stop reasoning with WOMEN! how will someone married to someone without any form of attractiveness!
In what part in my reply stated that I reasoned with them?
I said she could only marry h because she was attracted to him and that would not have changed within a year. Read well before you comment.
Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by Pidggin(f): 11:48pm On Mar 31, 2016
Stelvin101:


[/s]What a stuupid question[s]!

1 Like

Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by assana: 11:48pm On Mar 31, 2016
emajoe:
Thanks for all the comments and suggestions... These r answers to most of the questions asked:
Am very attractive with no body odour what-so-ever.
Our baby is 5 months old now, so the issue that she is still recovering from postnatal is out of it.
If am asked to judge myself, I'll say am romantic.
I feel the issue is, she does not just enjoy making love. So the solution is I seek is finding a way to make her enjoy the act. Thank you all.

Well @ OP, just ask yourself these few questions:
- how long is ur fore play
- how long lasting after start of match
- how do you both enjoy sweet talks at half time
- how many non-violent styles do you employ
- when last did you attempt to lift her up
- how did you appreciate delivery of baby
- when about taking baby from her, do you (mrs.stakinly)touch her breast
- xyz.
I didn't add any question mark in case these don't make sense to you, but as you need solutions, ADD THOSE QUESTION MARKS.
tenk u oh I love people like you making sense.u read my mind to the last.

1 Like

Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by fromnigeria(m): 11:49pm On Mar 31, 2016
Pidggin:
Are you physically attractive? undecided
Cos of persons like you, seeking advice on nairaland is waste of time.
People like you compound their woes. Smh


cc: halfricanadian, anuma1, smartigo, kossyablaze, kachi19, raumdeuter and their likes

6 Likes

Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by Akhimien78(m): 11:49pm On Mar 31, 2016
brandnew3:
kola1930 Tell her you need a divorce based on that grounds and see if she'd change and in the process, you both should go see a marriage counselor.


I pity your future or already married wife undecided
Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by ALANBEY(m): 11:50pm On Mar 31, 2016
Circumcision is the issue here doubt abt dat. my case study after we go for medical advice. take ur faith or second wife. my plan next 5 years
Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by Pidggin(f): 11:50pm On Mar 31, 2016
fromnigeria:

[s][/s]Cos of persons like you, seeking advice on nairaland is waste of time.
People like you compound their woes. Smh


cc: halfricanadian, anuma1, smartigo, kossyablaze, kachi19, raumdeuter and their likes[s][/s]
Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by huntax(m): 11:51pm On Mar 31, 2016
Adedoks:
Most married women are very funny ooo... Am a married man n I know what am saying. Some married women can go a month without sex if their hubby doesnt make a move towards them. N its also sad some married men will cajole n cajole their wife before she has sex... If the man is always the one cajoling one day he will be tired. Same man women outside are ready to grab n their is Wifee acting up. When the man goes outside she will start unnecessary prayers dat she could Av averted. U wont have sex with your man in a month plus n u think all is well. Most married women that do dis are not matured enough as they are still relatively new in marriage... Some learn from bitter experience. Oga Op be patient with her n explain to her as a man ur needs. God bless you for being faithful
Married women keep that up to show their men they can go on for a year (if possible) without sex. That in turn can keep a man's mind at rest when he travels for a month, knowing his wife won't get Hot when he's gone. (this is just an observation).
Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by AfroKnight: 11:51pm On Mar 31, 2016
This woman is wrong. She knows what she is doing and she doesn't give a damn about his feelings. Her baby is 5 months old. Good. Some of you insist that she is not ready to resume. Okay, no wahala. Now tell me how would she sleep on the same bed with her husband for 30 nights and not notice anything strange about her man?

My bet is that she knows how frustrating it is for him but she cannot be bothered to pacify him with words. She is allowing the anger settle in because it affords her the peace and privacy she wants. Nonsense.

Selfish women everywhere. Call her out bro. Then forgive her. She's your wife after all.

5 Likes

Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by komododragons: 11:57pm On Mar 31, 2016
Adedoks:
Most married women are very funny ooo... Am a married man n I know what am saying. Some married women can go a month without sex if their hubby doesnt make a move towards them. N its also sad some married men will cajole n cajole their wife before she has sex... If the man is always the one cajoling one day he will be tired. Same man women outside are ready to grab n their is Wifee acting up. When the man goes outside she will start unnecessary prayers dat she could Av averted. U wont have sex with your man in a month plus n u think all is well. Most married women that do dis are not matured enough as they are still relatively new in marriage... Some learn from bitter experience. Oga Op be patient with her n explain to her as a man ur needs. God bless you for being faithful
thank you. but there is no need to be patient!

I have seen cases like this and the moment the man start cheating that's where you will see those fish brain crying and be working hard to get him back.

as far there is many husband snatcher out there! let him go and enjoy his life outside and see if the FOOLISH WOMAN won't do all manner of things to win him back.

2 Likes

Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by Nobody: 11:58pm On Mar 31, 2016
Akhimien78:


I pity your future or already married wife undecided
What's there to pity?
Would you live with a woman who continuously denies you sex?

2 Likes

Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by BSH4u(m): 12:00am On Apr 01, 2016
Give her our product and watch her become a tigress in bed!
Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by cybriz82(m): 12:00am On Apr 01, 2016
I understnd bt atlis we shudnt blame him duh..he need advise..I respect all women n knw waz dey r going thru in d hand of sum people calld husband.like my sis husbby 4 instance..he bought a camry 2014model 4 sum1 (mistress abi na concumbine) I go call am sef.y my sis herself iz still usin a benz eclass.she knew abt it bt I calm her down.afterall she dn born 6children 1 a graduate 2 r in der final year in uni.d rest r in boardin sch.wat else is she lookin 4 mek she calm down.if she start to misbehav nw dem go say she dey do dis n dat.dat y I say I respect women dey r tryin bt nt all.wink

1 Like

Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by Lexusgs430: 12:00am On Apr 01, 2016
kola1930:
We've been married for a year now and blessed with a pretty daughter. My wife feels little or no urge to be intimate. Its been more than a month now since I had s*x. Reason being that, am angry inside of me that she is always not in the mood, so I decided to hold myself and see when she'll realize it that am angry about it and do the needful. But it seems like am just suffering my self because she seems not to realize she needs to do something fast. I am feeling like cheating on her as a way to punish her maybe she'll realize it that she needs to satisfy her husband to keep him away from other ladies outside. I urgently need advice from married nairalanders... Is the situation d same or similar in ur marriage, and how do I resolve this differences. Am really disturbed

Why suffer in silence? Speak with her has a 1st point.
Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by Joy1706(f): 12:01am On Apr 01, 2016
komododragons:
that's why we men CHEAT!

go outside and enjoy yourself and forget about your STVPID wife. when she started suspecting you, just relax she will open her leg 24hrs for you.

Yeah! Ur a really smart guy. Your wife suspects you of cheating and she will open her legs 24 hrs for you even when she doesn't know where ur preek has been. Clap 4 urself. Very smart idea. Makes me wonder why the woman who stabbed her husband in the neck didn't open her legs wider when she found out the husband had been unfaithful

5 Likes

Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by Nobody: 12:06am On Apr 01, 2016
kola1930:
We've been married for a year now and blessed with a pretty daughter. My wife feels little or no urge to be intimate. Its been more than a month now since I had s*x. Reason being that, am angry inside of me that she is always not in the mood, so I decided to hold myself and see when she'll realize it that am angry about it and do the needful. But it seems like am just suffering my self because she seems not to realize she needs to do something fast. I am feeling like cheating on her as a way to punish her maybe she'll realize it that she needs to satisfy her husband to keep him away from other ladies outside. I urgently need advice from married nairalanders... Is the situation d same or similar in ur marriage, and how do I resolve this differences. Am really disturbed
lol, dude, there's a reason why married men cheat, you just discovered one of them...do the needful, side chicks are important

1 Like

Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by LFJ: 12:07am On Apr 01, 2016
kola1930:
We've been married for a year now and blessed with a pretty daughter. My wife feels little or no urge to be intimate. Its been more than a month now since I had s*x. Reason being that, am angry inside of me that she is always not in the mood, so I decided to hold myself and see when she'll realize it that am angry about it and do the needful. But it seems like am just suffering my self because she seems not to realize she needs to do something fast. I am feeling like cheating on her as a way to punish her maybe she'll realize it that she needs to satisfy her husband to keep him away from other ladies outside. I urgently need advice from married nairalanders... Is the situation d same or similar in ur marriage, and how do I resolve this differences. Am really disturbed

This has always been the case when you go to the market to buy a product without testing. The question for you is simple, when was the first time you notice this? Was it before or after your marriage? If it was before your marriage that is your headache, you know what you bought. If it was after your marriage then check yourself, you may be the problem.
Sencondly, if this problem started during her pregnancy and continue after the child birth, what she need is your support and understanding to put her back in shape.

However, based on the experience, I noticed that most men are wicked and selfish when it comes to sex. A woman wakes up in the morning to take care of everything, your own is just to wake up and bath. You live home together with this woman to go to office, you come home together, while you are watching tv and relax, she is there running up and down to cook and put things in place for the next day.
Now it's time for her to rest and sleep, can you tell me what magic you want this woman to perform on bed? If this is your case, there is remedy to your case; the remedy is that you should help her, by helping her she will be able to save enough energy to give you the best you want.

4 Likes

Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by martineverest(m): 12:07am On Apr 01, 2016
When did nairaland bcome an advisory/councelling body?

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How I Spend My 63k Monthly Salary Yet I Am Tagged A Bad Boyfriend / My Husband Is Boldly Cheating On Me, Help / She Is Too Shy To Initiate Lovemaking With Her Husband

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