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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / It Is.wrong To Leave Children In The Care Of Underage Housemaids (2764 Views)
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It Is.wrong To Leave Children In The Care Of Underage Housemaids by Orikinla(m): 6:44pm On Jul 12, 2016 |
I am really baffled whenever I see babies left in the care of underage housemaids by irresponsible parents who claim to be busy working. No work is more important than parenting! Parenting is a 24/7 job. Bad parenting is the major cause of breeding bad kids who in most cases become juvenile delinquents and criminals terrorizing the community and society as we see many of such cases every day. They are the nightmares of peace loving Nigerians. How can any reasonable parent leave his or her baby in the care of an 8 year old housemaid? The underage housemaid is still a little child and cannot even take good care of herself! And you want her to teach your toddler what? She does not even know how to clean up herself before she can clean up a baby. If you cannot afford a good day care centre for your babies, then stay at home to take care of them. I have seen many really silly parents beating their underage housemaid for failing to take good care of their child. It is even a criminal act of child abuse to have an underage housemaid. It is evil to deprive any child of education. It is sheer wickedness to use any underage boy or girl for domestic labour and prevent the poor child from going to school. And then expect the uneducated housemaid or houseboy to take good care of your child? How can someone be so irresponsible and unreasonable! Yet many of these irresponsible and unreasonable parents claim to be well educated? 3 Likes |
Re: It Is.wrong To Leave Children In The Care Of Underage Housemaids by Acidosis(m): 7:29pm On Jul 12, 2016 |
We call them Career women. They need to go out there to compete with men, and pick up leadership roles. 1 Like |
Re: It Is.wrong To Leave Children In The Care Of Underage Housemaids by Nobody: 7:39pm On Jul 12, 2016 |
Acidosis: Okay. If the career woman leaves her Job to take care of the kids, will you meet her every financial need as well as her extended family's? Or does she spend the money on only herself, won't she spend it on your kids and running of your house? Wise men who knows they need to work together with their wives to achieve their goals knows how to make it work. If they are both working, they can save more and achieve more. They can buy houses faster, buy cars faster, save for the kid's school fees faster and win easily. But no, men who don't have the balls will always see a working woman as competition. I am not saying every woman should have a maid, I am saying some can't do without it or a relative in the house. I am even strongly against under aged maids, but in this part of our world, people now trade their kids in exchange for a good life for them, send them to school while they do chores for u in the house since they can't afford to, then u pay their parents monthly. As long as the maid is not being maltreated, is there really anything wrong in it? Some women now pay for after school care for in their children's schools so they can pick up their kids when they close. The economy is too harsh these days for women not to work. If they must work, they will need help in the house. 13 Likes |
Re: It Is.wrong To Leave Children In The Care Of Underage Housemaids by Fanirandele: 7:53pm On Jul 12, 2016 |
it is wrong to employ an underage housemaid. if you want to be a foster parent be one but employing a child as a maid is wrong. Nothing wrong with career women and only weak men are threatened . Just employ an adult 6 Likes |
Re: It Is.wrong To Leave Children In The Care Of Underage Housemaids by freecocoa(f): 8:20pm On Jul 12, 2016 |
Acidosis:So you'd rather she sit at home, all day errday? 2 Likes |
Re: It Is.wrong To Leave Children In The Care Of Underage Housemaids by Acidosis(m): 8:43pm On Jul 12, 2016 |
kennygee: I perfectly understand your points. I also don't have any problem with maids. I'm not married yet but I'm more than willing to hire someone to prepare my meals, and tidy my home. As long as someone is getting paid for a job well done, nobody cares really. We all work to get paid, whether professional is added to the washer-man job, or not; whether you're called a messenger or an Executive Personal Assistant, someone is working and someone is paying - that's the most important thing. The only problem I have with maids, or any kind of job at all, is maltreatment. Now to my previous comment: I've come to realize a large percentage of women who hire maids do so to escape the duty that accompanies motherhood. It is uncommon to see a woman dump her 1 or 2 year old child with an underage maid. What you see mostly is an underage maid taking care of mature 10 year old boys and girls who cannot wash their own pants. I'm not against women who have chosen to pursue their career, but again, this trend is grossly lacking some sincerity of purpose. Some women pursue career just for the purpose of 'working' and to be perceived as Mrs independent, not for any reason you've raised. The problem with women is that, unlike men who mostly work to take care of their families, many women work for more selfish reasons (e.g. what if my husband dies?), and in a worst scenario, for NO particular reason at all. Majority of women who hire maids do not pay these maids from their own salaries. It is the same husband who is buoyant enough to fend for the family (whether wife works or not) that ends up paying the bill. At the end of the day, you may discover that it is more expensive to hire the services of maids, day-care, etc., there by making a social sense of staying "independent", but no economic sense, as the wife's salary may likely not cover the day-care/maids' charges and the cost of running to and from work daily. If the sincerity of purpose is well defined, there is absolutely nothing wrong in getting a maid to take care of the home. For couples who are extensively buoyant enough to afford very large homes, they would in fact require more than 2 or 3 maids. Like any other firm, people need to be employed, but GTB will not employ more staff simply because UBA and Zenith banks have more staffs (women should not follow the trend because everyone else is hiring maids; productivity is key!). GTB will only hire upon confirming that more staff will enhance its productivity level. Sincerity of purpose is very key! And lastly, the definition of motherhood has not changed. 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: It Is.wrong To Leave Children In The Care Of Underage Housemaids by Nobody: 8:57pm On Jul 12, 2016 |
Acidosis: If not for the need to have someone watch the kids after school, I don't see a need for a maid. Soups can be cooked on weekends and stored in the freezer. Washing machines makes it easy to wash everyday without stress. Big cleaning of the house can be done on weekends, sweeping can be done daily. Some women have the grace to do without maids, some don't. I also don't agree with children being spoilt because there's a maid in the house. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: It Is.wrong To Leave Children In The Care Of Underage Housemaids by Acidosis(m): 9:12pm On Jul 12, 2016 |
freecocoa: If that will make her a good mother, why not? |
Re: It Is.wrong To Leave Children In The Care Of Underage Housemaids by SirVintageCock: 9:25pm On Jul 12, 2016 |
I understands that you are not married from your epistle because it is filled with "what ifs"....and what's supposed to be the ideal. I don't know about the women you associates with but my wife works to supplement my own income. Without my wife's salary buying good clothes and shoes for my children, sending money to my in laws would have been a mirage. Baby, shout out to you. Keep it up my dear wife. Acidosis: 15 Likes 1 Share |
Re: It Is.wrong To Leave Children In The Care Of Underage Housemaids by TheNonce: 9:56pm On Jul 12, 2016 |
It is wrong! KIDS SHOULD NOT WATCH OVER KIDS! Its time for us to focus on creating babysitting agencies in this country which would employ part time students or teenagers on decent wages for such roles as is the norm in developed societies! 5 Likes |
Re: It Is.wrong To Leave Children In The Care Of Underage Housemaids by Eketem: 10:33pm On Jul 12, 2016 |
1. Underaged maids are illegal in Nigeria. Those who keep breaking the law will soon face it and get punished. 2. Where are these children's fathers? Why do they leave raising their own kids for maids and the mothers? Did you two not think it through when you decided to make a child? if only they would go home and raise their kids and stop lazying around getting big stomachs in bars and joints having free time to commit adultery and bring home all diseases. Couples abroad without maids don't they survive? If you agree to have a child then be responsible for raising your child. It is not a woman or mother issue. Wake up early and have a plan with your spouse, one cooks one baths the kids, get a good worthy creche, organise pick and drop ups, alternate. Get home, make dinner together or one watches kids one cooks. You cannot have kids and be doing Lord of the manor having another child slave to raise your kids along with your over worked wife. That is what headship means not this lousy laziness una dey do 6 Likes |
Re: It Is.wrong To Leave Children In The Care Of Underage Housemaids by Acidosis(m): 11:16pm On Jul 12, 2016 |
SirVintageCock: It is not about the kind of women I associate with. It doesn't take much to understand the psychology of women. |
Re: It Is.wrong To Leave Children In The Care Of Underage Housemaids by Orikinla(m): 3:13pm On Jul 13, 2016 |
Fanirandele: |
Re: It Is.wrong To Leave Children In The Care Of Underage Housemaids by Orikinla(m): 3:19pm On Jul 13, 2016 |
Eketem:. Thank you. It is only in developing countries you see underage children used as maids and male servants. There are more millions of career women in America and the UK and they don't have underage housemaids like the so called career women in Africa. |
Re: It Is.wrong To Leave Children In The Care Of Underage Housemaids by Eketem: 7:01pm On Jul 13, 2016 |
Orikinla: Raising kids is a joint job for both parents not just for the mothers. Abroad both men and women work together and share tasks here the men sit in beer parlours and use family time for side chicks, off cause the women are overwhelmed 6 Likes |
Re: It Is.wrong To Leave Children In The Care Of Underage Housemaids by eyinjuege: 9:19pm On Jul 13, 2016 |
Acidosis: You need to be realistic here. A lot of women are the major financial backbone of their immediate families, and even possibly the extended family. Some earn far more than their husbands who might be earning peanuts. Some women's income are needed to supplement the husband's, else school fees don't get paid, landlords will be harassing them for rent. I think a lot of women won't mind being stay at home mums doing some small business by the side that wouldn't interfere with their family life, if only their husbands made enough money. We both know its just about 1-2% of the population in Naija that are truly wealthy, maybe another 5-15% are middle class, and that's stretching it. The majority are just there managing, so you can't expect women to sit at home. Face the fact, most men cannot solely bear the financial responsibility at home. I cannot blame women for going out there to hustle, however, a balance has to be found to raise the children. If the wife isn't available, nothing stops the man from staying with the children. If both have to go to work, they need to plan btw themselves 6 Likes |
Re: It Is.wrong To Leave Children In The Care Of Underage Housemaids by eyinjuege: 9:55pm On Jul 13, 2016 |
SirVintageCock: Thank God we have a man that is real here. More blessings for acknowledging and appreciating what your wife is doing in the family. Majority of the women I know, career women all supplement their husband's income. In fact, some are the sole providers in their homes. That's why I wonder where the NL men see lazy Nigerian women they keep hammering about. We should learn to appreciate the income women bring into their homes. Most times, the men receive the praises of what women bring home because a wise Nigerian woman will not let outsiders know she bought the new jeep her husband is cruising around town with, or she paid the house rent or she paid school fees. 5 Likes |
Re: It Is.wrong To Leave Children In The Care Of Underage Housemaids by Acidosis(m): 4:28am On Jul 14, 2016 |
eyinjuege: I acknowledge your points 100%, however, my admonition to women is that they should work only when it makes economic sense (to contribute to the family), not to pose as a 'career mother' as frequently bn preached on this forum. I've seen and heard complaints severally from women who simply want to work (and be a career woman) even if they have to work for free and drive to work daily in Hubby's car/fuel). I've seen women who just want to sell wigs and weavon (like a friend somewhere) for the sake of staying busy, even if they have to take a flight of N10,000 to deliver 2 weavon to a client. My previous post was directed to these category of women who (even though their husbands can take care of the expenses), still want to work because someone somewhere condemned sit-at-home moms, not necessarily because they have the passion for the job or business. That's what makes the difference between a married man and a married woman. ALL MEN work to make money and cater for their families. Meanwhile, SOME women work to stay busy, stay fit, maintain their shape, avoid overweight, stay independent, pose as a career woman, escape motherhood duties, and to preach against sit-at-home moms. 4 Likes |
Re: It Is.wrong To Leave Children In The Care Of Underage Housemaids by eyinjuege: 6:01am On Jul 14, 2016 |
Acidosis: I understand you. But I say again, most women work because they need to. What % of men work in oil companies?, what % run successful businesses? What % are politicians? These are the few ones that can comfortably maintain a housewife without batting an eyelid. Children go to the best schools, use the latest cars, phones etc Others including bankers, telecoms now are also just hustling, except their top guns in the industry. The women you see doing businesses by the side involving travelling a lot will never tell you their husbands aren't comfortable enough to meet their needs, nobody washes their dirty linen in public as society has always expected the men to provide. In reality though, with the economy that has been bad and getting worse everyone just has to drop their own 2kobo. I can't count the number of people with good careers, (some even single) abroad wishing they could just win the lottery/lotto and just quit the rat race. I say that atimes too, just win a million or so pounds and then only work at my own pace, and not because I have too. 'Sighs'.... Let me become more serious about this lotto thing abeg, e fit become reality.. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() 4 Likes |
Re: It Is.wrong To Leave Children In The Care Of Underage Housemaids by Acidosis(m): 10:05am On Jul 14, 2016 |
eyinjuege: Lol, that's great; as long as the bills are paid, nobody cares to know the source. Yea, I also think couples should drop their own 2kobo to the family. |
Re: It Is.wrong To Leave Children In The Care Of Underage Housemaids by mimopel(f): 10:58am On Jul 14, 2016 |
Fanirandele: exactly...adults...or @least teenagers say 15yrs 1 Like |
Re: It Is.wrong To Leave Children In The Care Of Underage Housemaids by Desdemona(f): 11:05am On Jul 14, 2016 |
Acidosis: 2 Likes |
Re: It Is.wrong To Leave Children In The Care Of Underage Housemaids by bukatyne(f): 11:42am On Jul 14, 2016 |
Acidosis: You really think an average woman builds a career because she wants to compete with men? Sadly, it's not all about you men. 6 Likes |
Re: It Is.wrong To Leave Children In The Care Of Underage Housemaids by bukatyne(f): 11:48am On Jul 14, 2016 |
eyinjuege: ![]() The lazy women are in their heads ![]() 2 Likes |
Re: It Is.wrong To Leave Children In The Care Of Underage Housemaids by Acidosis(m): 11:54am On Jul 14, 2016 |
bukatyne: But that's the message of feminists. |
Re: It Is.wrong To Leave Children In The Care Of Underage Housemaids by bukatyne(f): 12:20pm On Jul 14, 2016 |
Acidosis: Feminism teaches that women should work to 'compete' with men? Which men? The one on the street? Her husband? Her relatives? Her father? Her pastor? Her boss? Which one? Is going to school and spending resources to ensure she's educated to a comfy level part of the competition? Or is it when she is done studying and wants a job/career to practice what she has learnt (ideally) that it becomes competition? Do you realize that the sense of fulfillment you feel at the successful completion of a project (outside the money) is felt by women too? 10 Likes |
Re: It Is.wrong To Leave Children In The Care Of Underage Housemaids by damiso(f): 12:40pm On Jul 14, 2016 |
You know I have always wondered if 'career man' is a word * thinking aloud** At OP,Using under aged children for child care is actually counter productive in my own opinion. A child will always act like a child so I am paying for a service and then also have to babysit/baby/raise you as well.lai lai if I pay you for childcare I don't want to also be caring for you as well. Like someone said if I want to be a foster parent let me kuku know I am a foster parent and face my parenting duties , I aint paying to be one. Even my mother from 19 gbogboro never employed maids younger than 16. I remember them bringing her younger house helps and she would say no. Because of this myself and my siblings called all our house helps ' Aunty something or the other' and dem no born you well to disrespect them. The other alternative as someone else has also pointed ,men be involved in raising YOUR children. 3 Likes |
Re: It Is.wrong To Leave Children In The Care Of Underage Housemaids by Orikinla(m): 2:05pm On Jul 14, 2016 |
damiso: |
Re: It Is.wrong To Leave Children In The Care Of Underage Housemaids by Orikinla(m): 2:10pm On Jul 14, 2016 |
Acidosis:. The CEO of a financial company in Nigeria said he married his wife to be a housewife and not career woman. |
Re: It Is.wrong To Leave Children In The Care Of Underage Housemaids by cococandy(f): 4:28pm On Jul 14, 2016 |
Fanirandele:100 1 Like |
Re: It Is.wrong To Leave Children In The Care Of Underage Housemaids by cococandy(f): 4:41pm On Jul 14, 2016 |
Oh please stop already. You're sounding more and more ridiculous. Women should only work when it makes economic sense? So if she wants a career, she shouldn't have one because the husband makes enough money? How about her sense of fulfillment? Yes, what's wrong with wanting to just keep busy? Where's her dream and aspirations in all of these? Oh wait. I forgot she's not meant to have one. That's how you and your likes promote lack of ambition in women and then turn around to claim women are naturally unambitious. Just shut up pls. Acidosis: 9 Likes 1 Share |
Re: It Is.wrong To Leave Children In The Care Of Underage Housemaids by cococandy(f): 4:44pm On Jul 14, 2016 |
bukatyne: Do you see what I was talking about in that your thread. We can pretend all we like. And kick agains the truth because we don't like who's saying it. But the truth is Majority of women don't want the top positions because acidosis and his likes (I.e millions of other men and even women) kick against the idea of a woman having a career just because. 1 Like |
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