yomz1e:
Totally wrong argument, the people that run back home to get a wife are people who migrated abroad at a later stage in their lives. They are not use to the lifestyle and exposure of women abroad. They go back to village to pick a docile wife or ask their parents to do arrangie marriage. That being said, when the village woman now comes abroad, her eyes open and starts expressing her feminism , which now confuses the guy so he can't cope and cant beat the woman so the marriage collapse.
Also if you grew up abroad and you've never visited your country, it will be difficult to go back home to pick a wife cos of the culture difference , and what it all comes down to is love, respect, communication and no 3rd parties ( especially parents) there are good women here if you search well and don't go show urself.

Who still goes back home for village girl? When there are tones of educated univ and masters level ladies at home. It is a different generation bro. Some of the ladies here have not even completed university- still hustling.
African men have great options now. Lots of ladies are comfortable back home and even doing better than some of the ladies abroad.
It is a matter of choice. U can decide to choose from the above average 20 something nigeria ladies in your community abroad or go home to select a stunning beauty out of thousands. Is a personal choice.

orgasticdance:


Great points. "African American women are the least likely to receive response from men of any race and ethnicity in the USA" That was from wikipedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marriage_squeeze. Then there's the thing with college educated black men being the most likely of any race to marry white. Dark skinned women need love. My friend born in the states: 24, college educated wants to marry white because black women are saucy and disrespectful according to him. He has sisters. Black males have the highest inter marrage rates while black females have the lowest. A young black ugly man can : 1. Make more money. 2. Get a college degree 3. Change his social networks 4. Improve his pick up game. 5. And ask women out on dates. Unfortunately women, universally, are more limited for mostly cultural reasons. I only came to the states last year and its been interesting observing it all. It's just way easier for men out here. So much economic and social freedom and liberty of the sexes. And the quality of women here is beyond question. I was doing relatively well in naija yet it was hard to meet women who were on my socioeconomic level. There just were not enough of them to go around. Beautiful, 5ft 6 plus, decent paying job, well spoken, etc. In yankee, there's still a social order (black men are the least desired of all ethnicities but at least we have control) and once you find your level it's just way easier which really makes me wonder why men have to go back home to find a wife. Women here are amazing!!! Yes it takes some kinda adjusting to them, but realy it's not that hard once you have an equality mindset. I met my fiancee here, we've been together for a year, bumps and all, and will hopefully tie the knot by year's end.

Got here a year ago..met a fiancee you about to marry and you already think the ladies here are amazing. Dont you think is too early to conclude?
There is a reason some very successful men still go
back home to marry. Hope you never find out why.

jackpiperr:
Most black females who desire to marry white male are often frustrated due to lack of most white males not being attracted to black.(A white male may lust after a black female for kinky taboo sex.A black female is open to be a sex slave and satisfy the perverted desires of a white male ).A black female is open to tolerate abuse by a white male .
Frustrated with no way and the clock ticking ,A black female who desires to marry white may chose to just get pregnant for any random white guy and have kids out of wedlock. It is an ultimate status symbol and an american dream for a black female to have kids with Caucasian sperm.

Some bisexual white males may see black female as masculine and may prefer to be dominated by the black female like Serena Williams .

This guy is well informed...spot on.Lol! Don't forget that those black women use strap-on to Bleep those white men..lol. I know this first hand. My neighbor, white guy who is only 5'9, has a 6'2 black amazon girlfriend, whenever she is at his place, I'll hear him shouting, like somebody is beating him. The first time this happened, I called 911 because I thought he was in distress or beaten by robbers. Then it happened again, again and again. I observed the pattern...only happens when she is around.

Orubebe01:
Just wondering why majority of them always rush back home to marry when there are handful of Nigerian ladies where they reside. Does it mean that none of them are wife material or what.

some guys find it easy to get a home based naija girl.

Small washing she don fall. The man is thinking of a woman like his mother the girl is thinking of euros and she will be on her best behavior.

And some want a girl who will.maintain that home grown naija training, home cooking similar to his mom
Also

Once abroad the foreign law favor women so the naija guy who is trying to avoid stubborn woman who wants 50% of u r money will settle for home based.

Ordinary slap oyinbo go jail u. Home based can't call police for u but those abroad will not think twice.

but these r generalization and woman na woman after all and not all r doing same


Eventually the home based naija girl go still open eye after many years.

Coz they get to meet other ladies from other countries and c how sweeter they r than our 9ja girl and once coz of diff region can't marry those ones after time wasted and have to go home then come back home to manage one

Naturalized:


Story of my life, I live in North America and while there are lots of Nigerian Ladies around with reputable families here and back home, some of us are (were always) attracted to ladies we've known from back home before we left, and see no reason not to go back for those ladies provided things work out. I have lots of good looking Nigerian females here but for some reason, If I had to make a choice between my female acquaintance in Nigeria and the ones here, I will pick the one back home over them, no so much for the location, but because of what I see and what I want.

I would do the same, too.

adorablevic:
They think most of d girls are spoilt....and so dey comeover here looking for fresh ones not knowing d ones over here are worse

I agree.
The ones in Nigeria are more spoilt. Easy money can get them laid unlike girls abroad. But the girls abroad dont take no shit from guys. And unfortunately, men dont like marrying competitors but companions. Girls abroad dont understand that the best way to control your man is by being submissive, that way you can ask him anything and he will do it.

Like someone rightly said, only freshies do that.

I'll say this, to anyone that is motivated, please go back home to marry.

I did.

EgunMogaji:
I'll say this, to anyone that is motivated, please go back home to marry.

I did.

Even football legend Kanu went back home for a university lady despite all his wealth and years abroad.

MrTour:
This is because when the women come abroad they lose some of their core values, culture, respect.

When you live with your wife abroad and you have a misunderstanding she doesn't call you "honey" rather she call you names like "oboy", "useless man" , its normal. If you get offended about it na you go suffer am.
Most naija guys rather marry the home based naija girls who unfortunately has been waxed well. These naija guys prefer to keep the girl in naija for the sake of losing their marriage to the influence of life abroad.

They rather send £500 every month to the girl and visit once in 6 months but little do they know the engine is being waxed in their absence

it is better everyone at home wax her engine at home than you losing all you have worked for.

abbey621:
I don't know about any other country but the U.S is a demonic country that ends upsucking the life out of most men at the same time make women power hungry. Due to the feminist theory, the democrat controlled government tries really hard to over compensate for what they termed as injustice. From women's rights to gay rights,real men are no longer seen as a priority. To illustrate consider the rankings:

1. White Women
2. White Male
3. Asian and Hispanic females
4. Asian and Hispanic males
5. Black females
6. Black males.

The above illustrates the real problem black males face in the U.S. A country where shows like real housewives of L.A or Atlanta, Dr. Phil, Oprah and so on. Men are learning to accept their role as number 2 in the house while women are encouraged to take control. This to an African man is a taboo. Imagine not being able to rely on your wife to cook you a good meal or not being able to give your parents or siblings money without getting permission from your wife. Imagine not being able to have an argument with your wife without her calling the police and getting you kicked out of your own home. Our African brothers believe those women back home though they are not perfect are still respectful of the society and traditions to be humble. Of course this theory is not perfect as we have seen a lot of guys coming back home to marry women related to lucifer but as an African man the reward outweighs the risks!

[size=16pt]You are right on point bro...[/size]

supersystems:


Lol guy..I'm shaking my head make i no talk abeg..Lol..shakes head again in wonder

I have a truck load of bois in Uk Us etc


The reports we get about our girls there guys u will faint wen u hear the reports.

Perhaps its not a problem with the females but the negative reports are way too high and rampant.I'ld rather marry a white if i'm there or find a good Christian black lady.My guys in UK rank it.. They dont mention Nigerian girls n the rank.They say no one wants them

They say first na whitey,after jamo,after blacks non-niigerian That Nigerian girls are worthless.

A million people have told me this at diff times..It's dis-heartening.I feel bad for our girls.

The naija girls abroad over shakara and also many too would rather pick a home based guy

blueseacats:
Na that fat de vex me pass, none sense, bros I de vex for this fat matter wetting sef dem de carry fat go heaven? Naija girls go fat like say fat Na evidence of good living.

I dey tell u, e tire me. When their mates go dey exercise dem go dey chop full belle.

tonysmart2016:


Chai. This guy, u harsh oooooo....

U self know say na true

NaijainTexas:
Reading a lot of these comments, it seems as if a lot of them are made by people who don't even live or have never even traveled abroad. Just typing inferences because they like to hear themselves express opinion, even if it's not fact. This goes even for the OP.

As someone who's lived in both places, it is NOT true, most men abroad do NOT go home to marry (or vice versa with women). I attend weddings of western-based Nigerians almost every weekend. They are marrying each other in Europe and in the States in droves, don't be misinformed. A lot marry each other because it is easier.

As a matter of fact, those that go back to Naija to pick a spouse are few and far inbetween. Usually, those guys are looked at with a suspicious eye. They are either one or more of these: unattractive, so no one abroad really wants them; not successful; or bad moral character. Trust me, if they were the opposite, they would easily find a good mate right? When you run back to Naija to pick a spouse, it is because the ones in Nigeria will overlook/ignore your bad issues for the romanticized dream of coming to the West and escaping Nigeria. They are easily deceived and are treated poorly when they arrive and eventually, they shine their eyes and see the man for who they are. I know cases of:

-men marrying from back home and NEVER bringing them to the West even after promising to do so
-men having multiple families
-men pretending they're successful abroad only to bring their Nigerian spouses to suffering here in America
-men bringing their new spouse from Naija back to America to beat/control her without the protection of her family
...and so much more.

So I would even make this advice to my brothers and sisters living in Naija to do THOROUGH investigation on any person who feels they need to come back and find a spouse; for you know there is SOMETHING being hidden.

Anyhow, Nigerian marriages are taking place weekly in the West--tons of couples that are compatible because of similar background, educationally and socially. Which "works".

OP, stop it.

The OP clearly lives in Nigeria. That's the notion of all Nigerians that have not stepped foot outta the country. Nigerians back home are worse than the ones here because there is more opportunity for socializing there than here, making the ladies back home more wild and corrupt. I've lived in the two countries and I don't know if I can recommend any of my lady friends to any guy here

who no like fresh to.to from factory.

You are on point. The feminism is one way. They want equal rights but want you to keep paying for everything.

I dont mind house chores but let's also share responsibilities 50-50.

I think SOME are spoilt because in Nigeria men use money and gifts to woo women mostly. So from teenage they get used to always receiving.

Also the era of government officials stealing and living large has created a lot of women from families with government jobs pampered with stolen money.

They don't realize in the west you have to work hard for your money and manage well not like their father that stole money from the Nigerian people.

madridsta007:
Interesting thread. I used to ask this question to myself till, I came close, attempted to date a Nigerian lady in a certain European country. I'm not going to disclose the name of the country.

They are largely, feminists, in fact more feminists than the progenitors of feminism, the Swedish. Sadly, they come through as uncouth, belligerent, arrogant and seem to always live on the edge of some unrestrained emotion. And of course, a good percentage can not cook. I remember when I once made pepper-soup for a love feast- many ladies couldn't believe I made it. I was like, huh? The ones that act this way, are persons who have gone through a lot in solidifying their stay in the West, that their capacity to reason sensibly takes flight. This is not only Nigerian ladies, though. Black ladies. They just have this 'problem.' A good percentage. Why will a Nigerian man, with a Nigerian-like home training, get someone who could potentially ask for a divorce the next day?

Hence, the reason why men go and take what is the less riskier route, a lady from Nigeria. It is less risky. The black ladies often get their 'sense' when they are in their mid/ late thirties. Then, it becomes a bit difficult to find someone serious.

chachanga:
[b]Boys will date, wine&dine even impregnate these ladies but still run back here for good old "home-loving" when marriage issues arises.

Apart from insane "family pressures" from home, it seems most, are, at heart still just akpu & ewedu boys when the chips are down .
Bone the Brooklyn swags & the Cockney accent; our socio-cultural source-points did do a few numbers on us in setting some future marital expectations &agendas for us also .

So, the situation gets further worsened when the said ladies too don't seem to realize that some changes do occur, but only trans-'generationally' and not instantaneously. So as for ur expecting Naija guys to fit the bill of your newfound, "enlightened" or "postmodern man concept, U go jonze tire !

Not many are comfortable with the extreme liberalism, feminism and women's rights practised and available to our sistahs naturalised abroad but they'll date & screw u just d same , only to dump u later or marry home-based Chichi, Enoh or Bola behind ur back!

Hence, You either get ready to search till you find that ur one-in-a-million guy OR you adjust your expectations and start learning to cook more than Chinese Noodles because if u do marry an Ewedu boy or his Akpu counterpart, my dear, you will cook.
And Cynthia, stop praying for your Mother-in-law to die . (the old woman probably attends MFM Church &she's got a few "Back2Sender" prayer-bullets for you too, in case u decide to be an assassin)!
I may be wrong sha but the fault goes both ways.

Girls: Don't nurse "unnecessary" expectations just because dat guy dey folow u do UK Masters.
Boys: Stop screwwing and "partying-hard" with those ladies if you know you'll use it to judge them later! [/b]

Seconded, true talk.

Clinton9000:


This guy is well informed...spot on.Lol! Don't forget that those black women use strap-on to Bleep those white men..lol. I know this first hand. My neighbor, white guy who is only 5'9, has a 6'2 black amazon girlfriend, whenever she is at his place, I'll hear him shouting, like somebody is beating him. The first time this happened, I called 911 because I thought he was in distress or beaten by robbers. Then it happened again, again and again. I observed the pattern...only happens when she is around.

Don't be surprised when you find out that amazon girl of his is actually a Tranny with real dick.

martineverest:
....because,most nigerians men abroad are lazy illegal immigrants,who are looking for who to leech on and/or get green card/stay permit thru such ppl.....most times,nigerian women dont posses such qualites.other times,nigerian women who posses such qualities know nigerian men's ulterior motives.so they shun the them( nigerian men) so as not to fall victims.
[/b]

FACT:in nigeria,women are the major gold-diggers.in abroad,nigerian men are better gold,silver and diamond diggers.

[b]

The answer is obvious. Many of them there have married their oyibo wives already... So if they also marry a second wife who also resides there... Their visa benefactor will dictate easily

.

75 percent of them are into the same business with the men..

it doesnt matter

most nigerian men want the nigerian doormat woman who will worship the ground they walk on.
that is obtainable back here.
they wont find that much of that in the west, so they come home and marry

but guess what - once in a society where women are empowered the same submissive doormat wives start becoming assertive

marrying women back home is a futile attempt to bypass the empowerment of women in western nations.
but unless you plan for your wife to live under lock and key, no difference in the end

if you are so unfortunate as to have married a gold digger then you are really in for it
we all read the stories of guys killing their wives within two to five years of taking them to yankee

the reason is the they know themselves over there and what they av been doing (illegally)

orgasticdance:

Probably. But why does anyone need more than a year to reach that conclusion? Even if my relationship ends today it won't change my larger perspective that when women are free it benefits society as a whole (men included)!I value the freedoms women in America enjoy. Economic and Social. Nigeria is one of the worst places in the world to be a woman.

please take that nonsense back. whatever our issues may be over here, we don't have a culture where village elders raape women as punishment for stepping out of line, we dont have women who can only go about with a male escort, we dont have honor killings, we don't have people shooting girls going to school.

you have no idea of the truly bad places in the world to be a woman.

busomma:
I am writing from point of experience having lived here in America for 29yrs. When it was time to marry 21yrs ago it was trendy to marry from Nigeria based on the false notion that real men marry real Nigerian girls cos of the difficulties in bringing the women down here to America. That trend has since shifted to "smart guys" marry Nigerian ladies in America for the simple fact that when Nigerian ladies arrive America,in a space of 3yrs,they tend to be more difficult to deal with than those that knows how the society functions. That's why there are so much cases of divorce among Nigerians in the U.S. Nigerian women in America are no worse than their Nigeria - residing counterparts. It's a matter of choice.

Finally someone who makes sense.

oyb:
it doesnt matter

most nigerian men want the nigerian doormat woman who will worship the ground they walk on.
that is obtainable back here.
they wont find that much of that in the west, so they come home and marry

but guess what - once in a society where women are empowered the same submissive doormat wives start becoming assertive

marrying women back home is a futile attempt to bypass the empowerment of women in western nations.
but unless you plan for your wife to live under lock and key, no difference in the end

if you are so unfortunate as to have married a gold digger then you are really in for it
we all read the stories of guys killing their wives within two to five years of taking them to yankee

Well said

They are both hustlers. 2 hustlers must never marry themselves. That's the first rule.

pippimp:


The average Nigerian cannot survive with a confident self assured woman. Where a woman can buy her own house, car, and anything she wants. That is what a normal society provides and what you are not used to in Nigeria.

The issue is not with typical Nigerian men not standing such 'rich', 'confident' or 'independent' lady but it is the totally different attitude or behaviour that comes with such women when they get to have these things. Most lose their humility, subservience etc. for any man and begin to have unrealistic expectations about their relations with men. With Western feminism being propagated worldwide via Hollywood movies, women in traditional patriarchal countries are catching wind of this. I am not against equal rights for women whatsoever. Women should be allowed to do the same things men do in the society but truth be told there are certain roles which are best played by men (leadership, innovation, development etc.) and some roles which are best played by women (raising the great men and women of the world, mediation, empathy, child rearing etc). To be honest, some women are not able to keep a cool head when they are in power or in possession of great wealth, and with the typical Nigerian man who is traditionally raised to be a man in his society and who knows his role as a man in the society, this is the major issue they have with these 'independent' women. Time after time, what women gain by being feminist or 'independent' in terms of financial or material success, they lose in their private life. 50% gain, 50% loss. No man worth his onions (by this I mean who knows he is a man, knows his role in the society and takes pride in being a man) would want to settle with a feminist-charged woman who want to see the roles reversed in the house. This explains why most of them remain single, because they find it difficult to submit to a man in a relationship. Time after time, they have unrealistic expectations of what relationships should be, often with feminism-influenced ideas to define their meaning of a relationship. Of course, there are some men who are not too ambitious, who would have no problem pairing up with feminist women and not mind being house husbands and submitting to their wives who become the primary financial caregiver. In case you don't know, many ladies in America, especially black ladies, are so feminist that they want to be on top in a relationship, they want to be the man in the relationship instead, they are always right and never wrong, they would never admit to being sorry for anything even when they know they were wrong, they want to control you and order you around but WOULD NEVER TRY TO LET YOU CONTROL THEM, they view being a woman as being weak and they try to be men instead. They leave the women they were created to be and try to be men instead. Any MAN worth his onions would never want such a woman as a spouse and MEN go off looking for more traditional/submissive women as partners and the feminist ones-man-trying-to-be are left single for most of their lives. Feminism has been identified as one of the greatest destructive forces in the black american community. In the black american community, about 72% of mothers are single mothers, raising families single-handed. Most of them are unable to keep a man or barely know how to keep a spouse, barely know that relationships are mutual, barely know the sacrifices they would have to make as wives/female spouse to keep a relationship going, etc. They expect to be treated good all the time by their man, or as 'queens' that they like to call it, but never feel obliged to treat their man good in return. Many don't realize that you give to receive. Affection does not flow in one direction only, it goes both ways. With feminism, coupled with the unavailability of eligible good black men, most black american women expect to remain single for all their lives, having only boyfriends here and there as life goes on. In marriages many barely know their roles as wives, or the sacrifices wives make in a marriage, because they grew up in single-mom households and never saw their moms being wives to their dads or step-dads to learn from them, and the marriages they have, if any, barely last. Funny enough, feminism started with white European females but white American ladies till today are more subservient, womanly, and know their roles as wives than black women.

Honestly, if a woman can be wealthy, comfortable and still remain humble or submit to her spouse, cook for him, etc. most men would not have any problem with that. A good man will instead try to support such woman in her endeavours. No man wants a woman who tries to challenge his status as a man every time, who tries to be the 'man' instead in the house etc. A good example of such women is Dr. Ngozi Iweala, a great woman of international status who never rubs her success as woman on her husband's face or tries to challenge him or be on top of him because she is more successful than him. These women realize that outside their matrimonial home, they can charge up to men whatsoever but once they step foot in their house, their spouse is in charge and they submit. Check this out: the most successful marriages in America today, a country with high divorce rates where 50% of marriages end up in divorce, are still those ones that follow the traditional system of beliefs where the male is the primary financial giver and the female is the primary child care giver at home either as full time housewives or career mothers. That should tell you something.

Can two captains sail a ship? ?