Maaamaaa:
Thank you all for your words.

They make me stronger and happy.

I brought this online because I wanted an unbiased opinion from people.

My main worry comes from the fact that he is not happy and he does not love me. I also don't want a man to marry out of pity. Kindly focus on your baby and am happy he is showing you how your marriage with him will look like so since its obvious he is not happy and see himself being forced to marry you. The deed has been done.All you need is to be strong and ignore any negative comment from your friend, family or colleague at work.Your happiness and that of the baby is the most important my sister

People actually see it in a different way from.

My mum sees it as a hurdle that can be overcome, although she thinks we can put the wedding for a while

My dad is just so particular about the family name and believes it will work that finance is our major issue.

My sisters actually want me to put everything off until he shows me care, she does not mind being a single mother.

I confided in a married colleague at work and he thinks I should still go ahead.

A single male friend said I should go for an abortion.

I am really confused.

I never intentionally got pregnant for him and I did not break up any relationship and I did not force myself on him.

The sin I committed is fornication.

euromilion:
Go to sleep except if you are not working tomorrow.

Maaamaaa:
Thank you all for your words.

They make me stronger and happy.

I brought this online because I wanted an unbiased opinion from people.

My main worry comes from the fact that he is not happy and he does not love me. I also don't want a man to marry out of pity.

People actually see it in a different way from.

My mum sees it as a hurdle that can be overcome, although she thinks we can put the wedding for a while

My dad is just so particular about the family name and believes it will work that finance is our major issue.

My sisters actually want me to put everything off until he shows me care, she does not mind being a single mother.

I confided in a married colleague at work and he thinks I should still go ahead.

A single male friend said I should go for an abortion.

I am really confused.

I never intentionally got pregnant for him and I did not break up any relationship and I did not force myself on him.

The sin I committed is fornication.

Maaamaaa:
I fell in love with someone and I don't regret it.
If you've ever been in love, you will do extra miles to please them.

I was in love with the wrong person.

We discussed marriage before I got pregnant, we talked about 2017 and that was one of the reason that made me decide to keep this baby.

It was after discussing with his parents, family and friends that he said I should go for an abortion. They thought I was from a poor home and I was trying to trap their son but when they came for the introduction they saw their assumptions were wrong and they gave their blessings.

Yes, I used to nag and complain a lot because he was very lazy and spends his money anyhow but I've stopped that.

Pulcherdee, itelaw:
God has opened your eyes so focus on your baby, your job and yourself. Getting married to him is dangerous because you won't be happy. Forget about what people will say.whats the essence of being marry without happiness

accountbalance:


Woman, listen to your mother. This is just an hurdle. And please stop taking your issues to people for advise, you can't tell who has your best interest at heart. Again, I say, listen to your mother.

Maaamaaa:


I did not ask him out and I did not try to make him jealous, I decided to make other friends so I will not be attached to him so much.

We moved in together because he did not have money for his rent.

Acheron:
Maaamaaa,

The guy will come to his senses when that baby is finally born, trust me. For now, just stay healthy and try your best possible to be a good woman and wife to him.

I can bet it with anything that things will return to normalcy when the baby is here. That baby will draw you both together especially if the baby turns out to be a boy and a replica of him. I've seen this happen before.

That baby needs you to be strong right now. This shall pass.

talktonase:
He was not married to the other woman,it was a long distance relationship.

Odani:



Pls how exactly is she a home breaker was he ever married to the woman. Her only crime here is dat she fell in love

gustalnov:


Can't you guys ever give advice without putting others down? She should pardon you cos you'll sound harsh? Pardon my foot! You think you are talking to a computer at the other end? Just shut it already and if you can't be polite then don't give advice putting someone who's already down further down. Crap!

Maaamaaa:
I will try my best not be biased about our story and if you have any questions to ask please do.

I met him last year December precisely and we both work in the same office, we became best of friends but he was in a relationship (distant) and I was single.
We were really close because we both were new in town with no family around and then I fell in love with him and opened up about my feelings to him but he said he was in a relationship.

I was hurt but I held my head up and moved on. I started mingling with other male colleagues and then he became jealous and so I confronted him about it (still loved him) and u also told him to choose between us and he said he wants me. His decision was based on the fact that the other lady was far away, he thought she was promiscuous and she is an OND holder etc (I got to find out about this later).

We moved in together because of financial stress and talked about getting married next year... Late June this year I found out he had not broken up with the other lady, confronted him about it and he settled the issue.

I got pregnant July and he asked for an abortion, I insisted on keeping the baby with or without marriage.. He finally accepted to marry me and proceeded to tell my parents(he later said I forced him to that). He accused me of so many things and called me different names.

He traveled to his hometown and informed his parents about it all and met with the lady. On his return, he said the lady gives him peace and if I lose this pregnancy he will go back with her and that he loves her but he is just getting married to me because he respects my family and do not want to bring shame to me at work.

I cried, prayed and endured it all. Two weeks ago his family came for the introduction and the wedding has been fixed for December but I'm not happy.

I'm a shadow of myself, he feels disgusted by my presence and I can't say anything without him getting angry. I used to nag and quarrel a lot but I've stopped, even when I'm angry I just walk away.

He does not care about me and this pregnancy and if I tell him I'm sick or tired or anything, he will just say that I'm not the first to get pregnant and that it's when I push the baby he will take responsibility.

I have tried my best and I'm confused, last night I called him peacefully to ask him what I'm doing wrong but he said I'm disturbing him. I used to call his parents and my parents to intervene but he said I should stop that and I have stopped.

Please what can I do to save our relationship, it's not easy for me . this is not the man I fell in love with help me and please I need your advice because I am ready to do anything.

I want my child to have a normal family.

Maaamaaa:
I have decided to have one final discussion with him.

I know some of you want me to hold on but I believe my sanity is my priority.

If he decides to keep the home I'll stay but if he truly does not want to marry me, I'll move on with my life and my baby.

I'll raise money and get a new apartment but I won't quit my job.

Thank you all for your words.

Maaamaaa:


I also think my mother is biased because of the backlash she'll get from my Dad and also because she endured a bad marriage. I always prayed for a better home than what my mother went through.

Maaamaaa:
I have decided to have one final discussion with him.
I know some of you want me to hold on but I believe my sanity is my priority.
If he decides to keep the home I'll stay but if he truly does not want to marry me, I'll move on with my life and my baby.
I'll raise money and get a new apartment but I won't quit my job.
Thank you all for your words.

gabbytabby:
Shit does happen and it has happened. Do not complicate your life anymore than it is already complicated. Go ahead with the marriage only you have a lot of work to do to bring him round.

From today your first name na Patience and the second one perseverance and the third na loveth.

Single mother for 9ja mba mba na last choice be that.

Please go and sin no more.

accountbalance:


Looks like you still don't get the point, no relationship or marriage is perfect. Do you really think your mother will see a pit and ask you to jump inside. Of course, you deserve a good home and that's why you have to get it right now. There is nothing more than having a woman that loves you, your man will realize this sooner than you think and everything will be fine. However, if you allow yourself to be carried away by the present storm, you won't like the end, trust me. But strong for him and your baby till he comes around.



I think this is one of the reasons why he is not happy with you, you are not a very calm person . Why would you want to have a final discussion with him this soon. You really need to be calm and understand the law of process. Do you really think a magic will happen all of a sudden. You have to allow him change from the inside, let him want you by himself, don't talk him into it. He is the man, he has ego. You'll only push him away again with your nagging.

Maaamaaa:
I will try my best not be biased about our story and if you have any questions to ask please do.

I met him last year December precisely and we both work in the same office, we became best of friends but he was in a relationship (distant) and I was single.
We were really close because we both were new in town with no family around and then I fell in love with him and opened up about my feelings to him but he said he was in a relationship.

I was hurt but I held my head up and moved on. I started mingling with other male colleagues and then he became jealous and so I confronted him about it (still loved him) and u also told him to choose between us and he said he wants me. His decision was based on the fact that the other lady was far away, he thought she was promiscuous and she is an OND holder etc (I got to find out about this later).

We moved in together because of financial stress and talked about getting married next year... Late June this year I found out he had not broken up with the other lady, confronted him about it and he settled the issue.

I got pregnant July and he asked for an abortion, I insisted on keeping the baby with or without marriage.. He finally accepted to marry me and proceeded to tell my parents(he later said I forced him to that). He accused me of so many things and called me different names.

He traveled to his hometown and informed his parents about it all and met with the lady. On his return, he said the lady gives him peace and if I lose this pregnancy he will go back with her and that he loves her but he is just getting married to me because he respects my family and do not want to bring shame to me at work.

I cried, prayed and endured it all. Two weeks ago his family came for the introduction and the wedding has been fixed for December but I'm not happy.

I'm a shadow of myself, he feels disgusted by my presence and I can't say anything without him getting angry. I used to nag and quarrel a lot but I've stopped, even when I'm angry I just walk away.

He does not care about me and this pregnancy and if I tell him I'm sick or tired or anything, he will just say that I'm not the first to get pregnant and that it's when I push the baby he will take responsibility.

I have tried my best and I'm confused, last night I called him peacefully to ask him what I'm doing wrong but he said I'm disturbing him. I used to call his parents and my parents to intervene but he said I should stop that and I have stopped.

Please what can I do to save our relationship, it's not easy for me . this is not the man I fell in love with help me and please I need your advice because I am ready to do anything.

I want my child to have a normal family.

carammel:
Pardon me,I will be a bit harsh.

You brought it upon yourself,you are a homebreaker and husband snatcher,you knew he was in a relationship and yet open your legs for him to the extent that you moved in with him,most men these days enjoy free chao and won't hesitate to grab the opportunity.

You are only being selfish by considering yourself alone,how about the woman he has been with before,she will surely be hurt too.

You can just move on with your life and take responsibility for the baby alone,allow him marry whoever he wants or force yourself to marry him and live an unhappy life. The ball is in your court.

Maaamaaa:


Thank you so much.

You are actually right, I worry a lot.

GOD help me.

It's not easy

gabbytabby:
@maaamaaa I updated and want you to see this.

Shit does happen and it has happened. Do not complicate your life anymore than it is already complicated. Go ahead with the marriage only you have a lot of work to do to bring him round.

From today your first name na Patience and the second one perseverance and the third na loveth.

Bottom line he is single and so are you. He is just conflicted at the moment and also feeling guilty re the other girl and both will pass. I will say not much talk talk but leave love messages and welcome with a smile.

Single mother for 9ja mba mba na last choice be that. Listen to your mama.

Please go and sin no more.

Maaamaaa:
Thank you everybody for your sincere opinion. I believe I will move on with my child alone.

Please how do I overcome the shame at work because I can't quit now, I need the money.

Maaamaaa:
Thank you everybody for your sincere opinion. I believe I will move on with my child alone.

Please how do I overcome the shame at work because I can't quit now, I need the money.

Maaamaaa:



Thank you. I asked HR and they told me that

Maaamaaa:


Thank you Ma. He can't move out because he has no where to go and he is broke. It's a two bedroom apartment and we have separate rooms.

Should I stop cooking? For both of us