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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / A Frustrated Woman (77453 Views)
'Frustrated' Lastborn Tired Of Housework Writes Warning Letter To Family Members / I Become Broke, Frustrated Whenever I Have Sex With My Wife / My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here (2) (3) (4)
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Re: A Frustrated Woman by splendidbaby(f): 11:56am On Oct 26, 2016 |
Maaamaaa:my sister am really sorry about your predicament,the mistake has been done already.what u will do now is to move on with ur life and assume he doesn't even exist. focus your attentional on your work and ur child,you don't need to move out of the house just stay as Room mate but pls respect yourself by not allowing him tourch u.pls let's chat privately on WhatsApp 07036189706 |
Re: A Frustrated Woman by butanep(m): 12:03pm On Oct 26, 2016 |
Maaamaaa: My dear don't be deceived by some comments here. He will definitely love you. Just give it time. Especially when you give birth to the baby, he will have no other choice than to love you as a wife. I know someone it has happened to. So just be diligent and play your role as a good wife to be... People blaming you about how you force yourself on him. We all makes some careless decision sometimes so it's none of your fault. As far he has scored the goal, he will definitely take responsibility and in the short run you will be accepted back as his true love. Just don't quarrel or always fight with him. His sense will come together soon. For the other girl he was dating, she has to move on. Although what you did wasn't right by moving with him when you know he is still with the other lady but you have the best reasons for your decision. the other girl will definitely moved on, the fastest runner get it sometimes. That is Life for you. Do not leave him, you will have a bastard son which will affect you in the long run. Just endure, by the time he becomes a father, things will turn around, that is if your love for him is genuine. Take heart dear. Shit happens in life. Stand. Strong to face it. 1 Like |
Re: A Frustrated Woman by butanep(m): 12:10pm On Oct 26, 2016 |
splendidbaby: So she should move out just like that and start parading with a bastard son. it doesn't work that way. The guy must take responsibility. If you can Bleep a woman pregnant, then he will carry the cross. The lady should stay and deliver the baby. The one the guy is doing now is just initial gragra to push her away. By the time she delivers, the stones in his eyes will fall off. |
Re: A Frustrated Woman by miqos02(m): 12:16pm On Oct 26, 2016 |
@all, pls forgive the op, she is too young to understand what she is entering 2 Likes |
Re: A Frustrated Woman by butanep(m): 12:16pm On Oct 26, 2016 |
soonest: You aren't married. You think it's easy to move on after having a baby for a man. |
Re: A Frustrated Woman by slimnick(f): 12:19pm On Oct 26, 2016 |
Maaamaaa: sister its ya life u made a mistake try to correct it, don't use another mistake to fix it!! people will still talk if u get married to dis guy, .......... abeg raise ya child alone don't even involve him, cuz if u get into dis marriage u and ur child will suffer it. shame keh!! |
Re: A Frustrated Woman by andyanders: 12:19pm On Oct 26, 2016 |
butanep: I believe you do not understand anything about her situation and marriage.There is nothing like an initial gragra. How can a sane man ask a woman to abort his baby? Are you trying to tell us here that you forgot your brain? If she had gone ahead to kill by aborting that baby, you would still say it his initial gragra? I think you ONLY reason with ur anu......This subject is not for unreasonable minds. 3 Likes |
Re: A Frustrated Woman by letonB(f): 12:22pm On Oct 26, 2016 |
Young lady, you have made every Nairalander to use their typing skills today. Mehn! e don do! A word is enough for the wise. Take you problems to the Lord and leave there. I bet you, prayer changes things. |
Re: A Frustrated Woman by jpphilips(m): 12:24pm On Oct 26, 2016 |
[quote author=Maaamaaa post=50488400]I will try my best not be biased about our story and if you have any questions to ask please do. This is the point where you could have just had a fling and hope for the best! We moved in together because of financial stress and talked about getting married next year... Late June this year I found out he had not broken up with the other lady, confronted him about it and he settled the issue. Both of you work in the same place, so who had the financial stress? you or him? if the finance was stressful enough to make either of you to lose apartments, what do you take marriage for? Financial jamboree? Both of you are not just ready, this is the time where you should be smart enough to fvck with protection. I got pregnant July and he asked for an abortion, I insisted on keeping the baby with or without marriage.. He finally accepted to marry me and proceeded to tell my parents(he later said I forced him to that). He accused me of so many things and called me different names. You pretended you didn't see his unreadiness, tell me, two people who are having accommodation issues, what makes you think they can marry? you waited for him to say you forced him? well, common sense should have told you that the decision to keep the pregnancy is as good as putting a loaded gun to his head, it was no accusation, reality you are too dumb to see. He traveled to his hometown and informed his parents about it all and met with the lady. On his return, he said the lady gives him peace and if I lose this pregnancy he will go back with her and that he loves her but he is just getting married to me because he respects my family and do not want to bring shame to me at work. Well, that is the reality of what you did, he only stated the obvious!! I cried, prayed and endured it all. Two weeks ago his family came for the introduction and the wedding has been fixed for December but I'm not happy. The bold part is a joke, you are bringing a child into this world to suffer for no fault of his, let me be clear, if I was that child, growing up to hear the circumstances of my birth, I will shoot you in the @rse!! Make no mistakes; I didn't advise you because you don't deserve any, I only encouraged sane people to do what is right and have the will and discipline to do that always. You had no capacity to maintain an ordinary apartment but you think you have what it takes to raise a child? Please donate your brain to charity. 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: A Frustrated Woman by Ishilove: 12:29pm On Oct 26, 2016 |
Dyt:I'm just seeing it to o. I wish her good luck in her endurance marriage. When she gives birth and the child comes of age, it is still the same endurance advice she will give the fellow. E don turn to ancestral family pattern ![]() |
Re: A Frustrated Woman by chigoizie7(m): 12:32pm On Oct 26, 2016 |
Maaamaaa: U don't have to quit, all u need is to be very strong, when u want to be great in life, just know that u can't please everyone, let ur work colleagues be those people u don't have to please as u climb to the top. I know ur love for him caused all these for u, I don't blame u still, it makes us to certain things we can not do ordinarily, I call it ( emotional insanity). Winners never quits, be strong. I want u to know one thing in life and as regards to the journey u are about to embark on, it is that people will talk, tongues will wag but trust me, it will not be more than 6months and everyone will stop gossiping and start seeing u as a strong lady, a strong mum. Many will be proud of u after the child birth. All u need to do is to be strong this coming weeks. 1 Like |
Re: A Frustrated Woman by jaxxy(m): 12:57pm On Oct 26, 2016 |
Maaamaaa: Hey girl u need perfectly fine till u got pregnant for d guy without proper planning by both of u involved dats all. Dats ur only crime here. To hv a baby u hv to know if u both want it at d time if not protect urself against it. U didn't lead him on or breake his home like sm people called u. The guy knew he had a gal bt still came for u wether u made him jealous is pointless cos he shud know wat he really wants and not be bothered by dat or wud ur life moving on because of him? He choose u selfishly and it only backfired cos u got pregnant. Now he feels trapped cos he was expecting it and dats where u bleeped up.(cos it affects life more). Let him know he's free to do wat he wants and insist on him to marry u. Let him do so only if he wud if u were not pregnant also. |
Re: A Frustrated Woman by Princesstee(f): 1:08pm On Oct 26, 2016 |
Maaamaaa: My advice to you is don't force a man to marry you else you will regret it for the rest of your life. Give birth to the baby if you are keen on keeping it. The Lord is your strenght 1 Like |
Re: A Frustrated Woman by Berbierklaus(f): 1:15pm On Oct 26, 2016 |
butanep:The exact advice that has made a lot of women "walking dead" "zombies" "emotionally dead" "murdered" etc since time immemorial. maaamaaa better give yourself brains,and don't end up battered and dead. If he doesn't love you now that you are "pregnant with his child" he will not love you even if you "give birth to his child",because you need him more now and he is not showing the care and love. I hope you carry that child to term and not get beaten to death when the abuse Start happening. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: A Frustrated Woman by Berbierklaus(f): 1:23pm On Oct 26, 2016 |
jaxxy:No man hardly know what he wants. They are jus confused,which is why women are adviced or expected to be stable because in the end,they are the ones most affected eg maaamaaa"s case |
Re: A Frustrated Woman by drnoel: 1:30pm On Oct 26, 2016 |
ladyverere:Those cases u mentioned are just a select few out of many other situations. I can also give u many other case scenario. Don't rule something out cos u have no knowledge of it. And there is something called liberality in the belief that Christ existed. U just don't know about it and I can relate with u there. I too didn't know it existed till some years ago. Anyways ur experience, people u meet and ur surrounding influences ur belief as in ur case. Just know and remember one thing, the fact that we believe in God and attempt to be christ like doesn't mean we have to condemn, judge and accuse. Christ said brethren be mindful of ur actions and try not to judge least u urself be judged. Ur statement that prompted this discuss sounded judgemental. May God bless u as u learn from this. |
Re: A Frustrated Woman by jpphilips(m): 1:46pm On Oct 26, 2016 |
ladyverere: I don't know the Nigeria you live in but I have never experienced where a man takes a woman for granted because she made the first move. Most girls who make the first move are girls that ordinarily don't stand a chance with you (even if you are the one initiating the chase) that is why you take them for granted, your kinda girl asking you out is the best experience you will ever have, trust me on that! 1 Like |
Re: A Frustrated Woman by nan1: 1:56pm On Oct 26, 2016 |
MADAM DONT LISTEN TO THE ADVISE THAT YOU SHOULD CANCEL THE WEDDING I BET YOU THIS IS JUST A PHASE AND IT WILL PASS. EVERY ONE MAKES MISTAKE AND YOU ARE NOT AN EXEMPTION HE WILL DEFINITELY CHANGE WHEN YOU GIVE BIRTH ILL ADVISE HE IS THERE WITH YOU DURING LABOUR LET HIM SEE WHAT IT TAKES TO BRING A CHILD TO LIFE HE WILL TURN OUT TO BE YOUR BEST FRIEND I KNOW YOU CANNOT FORCE LOVE JUST GIVE HIM SPACE AND TIME HE WILL BE THE ONE TO BEG YOU JUST BE YOURSELF AND DO YOUR DUTIES AS A NOBLE WIFE CAN JUST CONCENTRATE MORE ON YOUR JOB AND THE BABY SO YOU DONT HAVE TIME TO THINK ABOUT ALL THE PROBLEMS (DO THIS FOR YOUR UNBORN CHILD) I HAVE BEEN THERE BEFORE I AM SPEAKING FROM EXPERIENCE AND TODAY THE STORY HAS CHANGED TO THE BEST I WISH YOU ALL THE BEST IN LIFE AND A SAFE DELIVERY |
Re: A Frustrated Woman by jpphilips(m): 1:59pm On Oct 26, 2016 |
butanep: The fact that a girl held you by the balls with such cheap trick doesn't mean anyone else will fall for it, you have no experience, trust me!! 1 Like |
Re: A Frustrated Woman by TheArchangel(f): 2:02pm On Oct 26, 2016 |
nan1:He will never love her as he never loved her initially. He requested for abortion, remember? So the child ain't gonna bring them closer . |
Re: A Frustrated Woman by marshmonii: 2:42pm On Oct 26, 2016 |
Pray to God first, and d safety of the child, forget that idiat, move on, by the time you have given birth to his replica he would be the one begging... no time to check time |
Re: A Frustrated Woman by cangoallnyt: 2:42pm On Oct 26, 2016 |
Dyt:lol |
Re: A Frustrated Woman by baby124: 2:49pm On Oct 26, 2016 |
Having read the OP's comments and thankfully I came in after she has written back and forth. So I think I have a clear picture on what is going on here. OP is most definitely immature and extremely attention seeking. The guy is also immature but an introvert. They have very different personalities. OP, let me say that no one will make that guy marry you if he did not want to. The issue I see here is that both of you need to work on yourselves. You are both the same people at your core but with different personalities. You both are extremely selfish and immature emotionally. The guy is also manipulative. But it's a good thing he is communicating with you. You both must start thinking "we" and not " I". Let go of fears and insecurities and grow up and focus on being a team. I also think you are very insecure. And because of your insecurities you are dreaming a lot of issues up and making them a reality. From all accounts this guy seems like a good guy. Who maybe got caught up in something he was not prepared for, a pregnancy and marriage. Mostly due to finance. From the responses he gave you, it looks like he is willing to work through it. You also need to STOP making his ex important in your relationship! STOP that. Yes he may have brought it up initially, but don't give power to things that don't matter. Otherwise it will continuously be the elephant in the room. He could have against all odds chosen to marry her even with you pregnant, but he DECIDED to stay with you! And marry you! So the ex's issue is a DEAD issue. I personally think you need to peddle down on all your expectations and work with him through this. You have to grow up and be mature. Because the fact of the matter is, you are will still stay there. I mean you went through quite a bit of trouble to get him where you wanted him. You also need to make your mother your confidant if she is a good person or you find another responsible adult who can walk you both through this phase. Just make sure he is willing to try to work all the issues out. I wish you the best of luck in your marriage. 1 Like |
Re: A Frustrated Woman by djon78(m): 3:01pm On Oct 26, 2016 |
THERE ARE A LOT OF WRONG ADVICE ON THIS ISSUE. I AM COMMENTING AS A MAN; THAT GUY WILL COME AROUND. Maamaa MENTIONED THE GUY SAYING SHE IS WIFE MATERIAL AND THAT HE WILL REGRET IF HE DOESNT MARRY HER. THE GUY IS STILL A BIT IMMATURE, HE WILL LATER COME TO REALIZE THE BLESSING HE HAS IN THIS WOMAN. YOU ON YOUR PART GIVE HIM SPACE, DONT NAG HIM, LEARN TO GROW UP, ALTHOUGH YOU ARE MERELY ACTING YOUR AGE. IN FACT BOTH OF YOU ARE NOT WELL MATURED, BUT IF YOU BOTH CAN STICK IT TOGETHER FOR SOMETIME YOU WILL CROSS THIS TURBULENT TIMES. I REMEMBER RECENTLY READING A PHILOSOPHICAL BOOK, AND I CAME ACROSS THE STORY OF GREEK PHILOSOPHER SOCRATES AND HIS WIFE, THE WIFE WAS JUST NAGGING HIM. THE POINT THAT WAS EMPHASIZED FROM THAT BOOK WAS THAT WHEN COUPLES HAVE ISSUES, QUARRELS, THAT EACH PARTY MUST FIRST GET RIGHT OR AMEND HIS OR HER OWN WAYS OR EACH PERSONS CONTRIBUTION TO THE ISSUE. ONCE IT IS DONE BY ONE PERSON THE OTHER WITH TIME WILL CHANGE. SO JUST WORK ON YOUR PART IN THE ISSUE, GIVE HIM PEACE, SPACE, AND FIND WAYS TO LOVE HIM, YOU WILL SEE HE WILL TURN AROUND. DONT MIND THOSE TELLING YOU TO LEAVE AND BE A SINGLE MOTHER, SOME OF THEM HAVE NEVER BEEN IN A REASONABLE RELATIONSHIP BEFORE. LIKE I SAID JUST DO YOUR PART, FIND WAYS TO LOVE HIM, DONT NAG, GIVE HIM SPACE, FIND WAYS TO ADD VALUE TO HIS LIFE ESPECIALLY IN THE AREA OF HIS HANDLING MONEY, AND YOU WILL BE SURPRISED HE WILL JUST TURN AROUND. 2 Likes |
Re: A Frustrated Woman by cangoallnyt: 3:01pm On Oct 26, 2016 |
Dyt:lol |
Re: A Frustrated Woman by Maaamaaa: 3:14pm On Oct 26, 2016 |
Thank you for your words. I really do appreciate and I thank God for everything. I told him about this post on nairaland and I believe he will also come here to read and learn and also post his version of the story. I feel sick right now, so I can't type much. Thank you so much. |
Re: A Frustrated Woman by Maaamaaa: 3:18pm On Oct 26, 2016 |
Please pardon me, I'll respond to your mails when I'm better. I appreciate your sincerity and love 1 Like |
Re: A Frustrated Woman by soonest(f): 3:23pm On Oct 26, 2016 |
butanep: Pls i'll advise you keep quiet when you are not sure of something. It's you I should ask whether you are married, your comment doesn't seem you are. |
Re: A Frustrated Woman by sisisioge: 3:27pm On Oct 26, 2016 |
Maaamaaa: Omo daada lomo yen o, omo gidi lomuwa le o...eba ! Omo daada lo omoyi o, omo gidi lomuwa le o. ![]() ![]() ![]() Your head sits well on your shoulders jare albeit not completely...but you have a positive countenance. Not one sign of the little wiitchfromthewest syndrome is in you...well done. I think all will be well if you remain calm and cool with your decisions. About the pregnancy blues...Pele o. The little angel is almost here. 1 Like |
Re: A Frustrated Woman by flakeStar: 5:22pm On Oct 26, 2016 |
Must you marry him because of the pregnancy? Must you spend the rest of your life unhappy paying for that single mistake? Why are you intent of destroying so many lives because , one single indiscretion? I beg free the guy and go and make something of your life instead of settling down into a bitter unhappy relationship. 1 Like |
Re: A Frustrated Woman by justmenoni: 5:31pm On Oct 26, 2016 |
You're right you know, but it was the lady who kept taking advantage of the man oo, to add to your prayer, me i wish them 5 at a go, all BOYZ Ujoan: |
Re: A Frustrated Woman by jazzyjazz: 5:53pm On Oct 26, 2016 |
Mr judge Jury and assumer! How did you know that she's not married ![]() butanep: 1 Like |
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