1bkaye:

Depends. Mainly on their contributions to the household.

Fairest way in my opinion:

Chores should be split in correspondence with each person's work hours, so for example, if they work an equal amount of time household chores should be shared, but if for example the wife doesn't work it's only fair that she take up more responsibility for chores and vice versa. I mean, don't approach it like it's a tournament and for example intentionally not do something because it's 'his/her' turn today, there may and probably will be days you'll need do more and help the other person out for whatever reason but that's just a general structure that will help.

MrPresident1:


Spiritual leadership
Moral compass and guidance in the home
Physical and spiritual protection
Teaching of his household
Custodian of the household doctrine
Disciplinarian
Loverboy Mr Romantic to his wife
etc etc

Voice2:
God help our minds that have been so conditioned by society. The services of a maid will not come free o. And there are other adverse costs that hiring a maid might bring to the family, esp with regards to their effects on kids. Now, if his cutting tomatoes and vegetables would help avoid these costs and the man has the time, shouldnt he rather do it?

Op visits the couple so that "people" will not say... Then she assesses the home and concludes that they are trying to run their marriage like "the whiteman's" but should run it like an "african's."

Mindset. Mentality.

Please let's set ourselves free. People are first and foremost persons, individuals that are free to live their lives however they choose to. stop the narrowmindedness.

And with your mindset OP, isn't it a shame that the man left you, a woman on seat to get busy? Since women should be such workhorses, shouldn't you be in your own house, busy doing all the dirty work?

I kind of understand though, if you are not married. Reality will set in when you do - and this isnt said derogatorily.

Amelian:

Please let's be realistic Here.. No need painting imaginary pictures of a perfect Nigerian husband. Possibly lover boy and mr romantic? U are right. But the rest u listed up there is just 5%.
No need deceiving ourselves.
When u notice a stable home. Simply know that the wife is the spiritual leader and the backbone of that home.
No two ways about it.

MrPresident1:


A woman can never be the spiritual backbone of a home, it does not follow

MrPresident1:


A woman can never be the spiritual backbone of a home, it does not follow

MrPresident1:


A woman can never be the spiritual backbone of a home, it does not follow

cococandy:

Because God doesn't answer the prayers of women?

EfemenaXY:


Doesn't follow what?

Amelian:



My dear, it follows wella.
And have seen it happen.

Some married men that think with their dickks, at work place?

Then lo and behold he's promoted to a top position.. Oh jeez!
Female ladies applying for jobs are in deep soup.. Even the PA or secretaries to some married men knows their duties before the official duties.

Such married men are open and prone to attacks be it spiritual or physical. They just place their life on the hands of female secretaries or female employees.. Smhhh.
If not for their praying wives at home..
Or possibly they do join cults for protection.
If not? Such men can easily be manipulated like a feather blown by the wind.

MrPresident1:


Are you the spiritual leader in your own home?

MrPresident1:


You do have a very strong point. I think we just need to be clear on the terms we are using. The man is both the physical and spiritual head of the home, I am sure you agree with this. He is vested, by the Almighty God, with the responsibility to provide both physically and spiritually for his home.

The woman being his support and help will provide the critical support and backup as needed.

I am sure you do not mean that the woman would assume the role of physical and spiritual leader? As support and backbone, I agree, but as head? It is not Biblical.

The head is nothing without the neck, as the neck is useless without a head.

cococandy:
How does one provide spiritually for another?
So much vagueness and ambiguity going on here.
Explain that please.

MrPresident1:


I hold the Bible supreme in all matters.

Maybe we need to be more exact in our use of words. The man is the spiritual head of the household, and the woman is his support. If Amelian means it in this wise, then I agree with her. But if she means that a woman can usurp the spiritual role of the man in the house as the head, and things will still be rosy?

I disagree, it does not follow with the Bible

cococandy:

That's not the answer to my question. And we are not talking about me. Even if I am or not, will it affect the answer to the question of 'Does God only listen to men?'

BTW what's your definition of a spiritual leader?
1)The one who prays on behalf of the family?

2)The one who teaches morals to the members of the family (laughable is the idea that some of those same Nigerian men who see no wrong in their own philandering and disrespectful behavior also assume mantles of spiritual leadership ). I digress.

3) I don't know educate me on what the role of a spiritual leader is. Then we can proceed from there.

EfemenaXY:


So what has this got to do with a man stepping up and undertaking domestic chores to ensure the smooth running of his home?

Will his performing domestic chores make him less spiritual? Or lose his place as "head of the home"?

MrPresident1:


The best lovers are the people who are led by the spirit of God, because God is love, and who ever walks in love walks in God. In the Bible, the man is commanded to love his wife, and love is conceived in thought and expressed in deed. By loving his wife, he can even prolong her shelf-life . How does he show his love, and how does he prolong her shelf-life?

By helping her always, not as a duty, his wife must recognise this, but as an obligation in love. That way, he will ensure that her beauty, and his own too, gets mature together

It is HIS home, and you all are his subjects

cococandy:
How does one provide spiritually for another?
So much vagueness and ambiguity going on here.
Explain that please.

CFCman:

The person is probably referencing the part of the Bible that essentially declares that the man is the Priest of the house. Its why many Nigerian ladies on social are now (from my observation) gushing over the fact that their men lead them in prayers or bible study .

MrPresident1:



In a family, there is hierarchy and the man is at the top of the food chain. The man is the Pastor in the house, he is the one responsible for the family doctrine, and its code of morality. If the man is a godly person, the doctrine of the home will be very sound. And that is the role of the spiritual leader

cococandy:

So what happens if the man is not godly and the woman wants to follow the godly path?
Should she not reject his moral code,practice hers and try to teach same to their kids?
Should she not assume the role of the spiritual leader and guide the man back onto the right path if possible.

Coyotejack:


She should....and pray for her man....

cococandy:

So a woman can be the spiritual leader then.

Really simple

MrPresident1:


You do have a very strong point. I think we just need to be clear on the terms we are using. The man is both the physical and spiritual head of the home, I am sure you agree with this. He is vested, by the Almighty God, with the responsibility to provide both physically and spiritually for his home.

The woman being his support and help will provide the critical support and backup as needed.

I am sure you do not mean that the woman would assume the role of physical and spiritual leader? As support and backbone, I agree, but as head? It is not Biblical.

The head is nothing without the neck, as the neck is useless without a head.

Coyotejack:


If that was a question without a question mark...then
Yes. She can......

Amelian:




Your words are true from the Bible and I agree God vested the role of a spiritual and physical role to the man and made him the head of the house. But unfortunately some married men have lost or sold their head role vested in them by God Almighty to either their wives or to their mistresses.
And trust me before the neck use t0 be useless without the the head but at this times, the neck has also assumed the role of the head as well. The neck is now assuming both roles because of both roles on the wife, she starts becoming more successful than her husband.
It's highly unfortunate but it's the reality on ground.
That's why some wives steps on the heads of their husbands and he can virtualy do nothing about it or he becomes blindly enraged and kill his wife
Cause he has lost his role as the head!
So unfortunate but that's the reality.

I can never marry a man who cannot assume his role as the man and as the spiritual and physical leader in the relationship. When a man starts saying and believing that shebi she has a job and she shebi she earns more than I do.. No need supporting the home financially.. Trust me that man is lost and he has sold his birthright. No woman respects such man, no matter how massive his dickkkk is.

Amelian:




Your words are true from the Bible and I agree God vested the role of a spiritual and physical role to the man and made him the head of the house. But unfortunately some married men have lost or sold their head role vested in them by God Almighty to either their wives or to their mistresses.
And trust me before the neck use t0 be useless without the the head but at this times, the neck has also assumed the role of the head as well. The neck is now assuming both roles because of both roles on the wife, she starts becoming more successful than her husband.
It's highly unfortunate but it's the reality on ground.
That's why some wives steps on the heads of their husbands and he can virtually do nothing about it or he becomes blindly enraged and kill his wife
Cause he has lost his role as the head!
So unfortunate but that's the reality.

I can never marry a man who cannot assume his role as the man and as the spiritual and physical leader in the relationship. When a man starts saying and believing that shebi she has a job and she shebi she earns more than I do.. No need supporting the home financially.. Trust me that man is lost and he has sold his birthright. No woman respects such man, no matter how massive his dickkkk is.

CFCman:


I don't think its a bad thing for both the man and the woman to split the bills. Also, I don't disagree with you on your preference for a man who is spiritually sound. But I have a problem with ladies who willingly exchange nudes with their man, or sleep with him, then turn around to complain that the dude isn't taking up his role as the priest of the relationship. I mean, how confused can one get

bukatyne:


You too like shakara

soonest:


Split which bills? Only when we split domestic chores too. He should also see it as help and definitely not as a duty to spilt bills with him.