But will you expect him to stick with you and marry you when he gets back to his feet without ur help,especially when you know u didn't help him when he needed it,and u had d means.

There is love in sharing.. He didn't ask but u wants to assist so go ahead,what will be in life will be,u might be together and might not in life

Help if it's not going to strain your pocket and do so without expecting anything in return, if he stays cool nd if he leaves such is life no hard feelings

MrDandy:
The fact that you're keeping a long distance relationship is the first error; and it should be the first thing you should be thinking about

Shame on you

McFabian07:
Here's my advice.
1. Don't give him money you can't let go.
2. Give him the money as a loan.
3. Don't give him the money directly. If you guys have an elderly male friend or relative, give the person the money to loan your bf. let the person never tell him it's from you. This way he will have his dignity and respect, and you would have helped him. possibly, the money may come back.
4. Don't expect anyhing in return, or never use it against him in the future.

Why all these long story cos a girl wants to help her bf with some money as if he wants to borrow money from bank? If its d other way round, would u advice d guy to do same b4 giving his Gf money? Smh @ Hypocritical & selfish naija girls

Our relationship was normal, we had no issues, he is down to heart and a contented guy to the best of my knowledge..

olac21:
Well,for all we know you didnt tell us how the relationship was before you travelled..but then,tell him you want to lend him a certain amount so he wont feel he has gotten a cash cow..

Well he dint ask for it, I just feel I should do so

ifex370:
No real man will ask you for money..

If u wanna help.. Do so at the largeness of your heart

Is it the long distance that is an error or helping him?

MrDandy:
The fact that you're keeping a long distance relationship is the first error; and it should be the first thing you should be thinking about

Well I am quite new here, its in my plans if its going to be possible

waleyp:
IF ITS POSSIBLE TO GET HIM A GERMAN VISA THATS COOL AT LEAST YOU CAN MONITOR HIM AND BE CLOSER TO HIM AND IF YOU REALLY WANT TO GIVE HIM MONEY TO START A BUSINESS THERE ARE TWO THINGS INVOLVED 1) WILL HE STILL STICK TO YOU AFTER YOUR HELP? 2) BE READY FOR YOUR FUTURE HUSBAND OR HEART BREAK. HELPING HIM IS GOOD BUT BE READY FOR POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE OUTCOME

we buy iTunes card Alexjoe814@gmail.com /08108387608

what bothers me is not about us ending up together or not, I am bothered cos it might look or sound as if I am enticing him with money, people misconstrue kind gestures at times, I have seen where ladies help their men and the man dumps the lady then the elderly people would say she was using money to buy love. If I make any sense, I want him to love me for me not cos of what I can do or what he stands to gain.

Berbierklaus:

Gbam!!!
Because he is probably with other girls already,so if you wanna help,help for no return or reward.

I hate to hear he dumped me after I spent my life savings on him

Well its been like that since the time of our forefathers

jejemanito:
If All Guys Open Threads To Seek Opinions Before Giving Their Girlfriends Money, The Number Of Threads On Nairaland For Don Reach 10 Million

esthertk:
I need the candid advise of the matured minds here. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 8 months when our relationship was 3 months I was able to get a German visa and moved to Germany,he lost his job 2 months ago, and we have been discussing on how he can get back on his feet, lots of interviews and no call back and with this harsh economy we consider it best he starts a business which he doesn't even have the capital ,I really wish I can support him but so scared it might be termed as using money to buy love and this might just make him stick to me for the wrong reasons or even later dump me... I am so confused

Does he talk about marriage?

esthertk:
I need the candid advise of the matured minds here. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 8 months when our relationship was 3 months I was able to get a German visa and moved to Germany,he lost his job 2 months ago, and we have been discussing on how he can get back on his feet, lots of interviews and no call back and with this harsh economy we consider it best he starts a business which he doesn't even have the capital ,I really wish I can support him but so scared it might be termed as using money to buy love and this might just make him stick to me for the wrong reasons or even later dump me... I am so confused

dump your fears, clear your head, weigh yo chances and do whatever feels right. Yolo!

esthertk:
I need the candid advise of the matured minds here. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 8 months when our relationship was 3 months I was able to get a German visa and moved to Germany,he lost his job 2 months ago, and we have been discussing on how he can get back on his feet, lots of interviews and no call back and with this harsh economy we consider it best he starts a business which he doesn't even have the capital ,I really wish I can support him but so scared it might be termed as using money to buy love and this might just make him stick to me for the wrong reasons or even later dump me... I am so confused

For you to think like this means the closeness is not even there. If both of you are really in a relationship and committed to each other, you won't come here seeking for advice. First of all, work on your relationship.

esthertk:
I need the candid advise of the matured minds here. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 8 months when our relationship was 3 months I was able to get a German visa and moved to Germany,he lost his job 2 months ago, and we have been discussing on how he can get back on his feet, lots of interviews and no call back and with this harsh economy we consider it best he starts a business which he doesn't even have the capital ,I really wish I can support him but so scared it might be termed as using money to buy love and this might just make him stick to me for the wrong reasons or even later dump me... I am so confused

Give him a loan with interest.

esthertk:
Well its been like that since the time of our forefathers

I'm guessing you are on tourist visa or student visa...in both you also still need help in Germany.

Help him and forget what ever he thinks. We all need help but unemployed peeps in naija need God's grace to survive.Care more about reward from above...You said he's a down to earth and rational thinking guy, I dont think he will reason along that line of desperation for marriage or u are using money to lure him.

If you are on tourist/ visit, u also need to regularize your status here(Aduro/asylum or kids route), If you are om student status, things are changing in Germany, you might also need help in the future here.

God bless you as you help him.

esthertk:
I need the candid advise of the matured minds here. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 8 months when our relationship was 3 months I was able to get a German visa and moved to Germany,he lost his job 2 months ago, and we have been discussing on how he can get back on his feet, lots of interviews and no call back and with this harsh economy we consider it best he starts a business which he doesn't even have the capital ,I really wish I can support him but so scared it might be termed as using money to buy love and this might just make him stick to me for the wrong reasons or even later dump me... I am so confused

hmmm, from ur post it shows hhou love him, but den are you thinking of doing it for love or you jst wanna help him, anytin ma dear , work with a free mind, help him for being a friend in need, NT cos it are in love wit him, or else do it for love

Yes he does and his plan is for us to get married before the end of the year

ToriBlue:
Does he talk about marriage?

If you were in the same position what would you expect from him? This is the issue with modern women. You think about what others might think , the views and opinions that do not really enrich your life. Think about the long term, that's what forward thinking is. Where do you want it be with this man? If this relationship has no solid foundation then it will not survive. The chances of getting a job are rather slim with how things are here that's a reality you both have to face.

Sending money is a short term solution what happens then? If you guys are serious about setting down then maybe joining you so that he can also support himself and you is the better long term goal. If you are going to help him , help with no strings attached, I mean help because you want to not because you have to. If he can join you don't be be like the many woman who hold that action over the heads of the men they are in relationships with.

esthertk:
Yes he does and his plan is for us to get married before the end of the year

You could help him and he marry you, you guys live happily ever after or you could help him and tomorrow he dump you for another random girl. Its your choice. Follow your heart!

Raine80:
If you were in the same position what would you expect from him? This is the issue with modern women. You think about what others might think , the views and opinions that do not really enrich your life. Think about the long term, that's what forward thinking is. Where do you want it be with this man? If this relationship has no solid foundation then it will not survive. The chances of getting a job are rather slim with how things are here that's a reality you both have to face.

Sending money is a short term solution what happens then? If you guys are serious about setting down then maybe joining you so that he can also support himself and you is the better long term goal. If you are going to help him , help with no strings attached, I mean help because you want to not because you have to. If he can join you don't be be like the many woman who hold that action over the heads of the men they are in relationships with.

Women help alright but men end up leaving them for another lady, yes they do that often.

jejemanito:
If All Guys Open Threads To Seek Opinions Before Giving Their Girlfriends Money, The Number Of Threads On Nairaland For Don Reach 10 Million

Imagine.. Only in this part of the world many ladies wilk think n think before helping someone they claim to love.
whereas, guys don't evn see it as a big deal doing more for them.

Well most cases ladies tend to chill with a man that spends on them and its usually the other way round when a lady gives a man, and to set the records straight when he was working and had good pay i have never asked him for money. All my point is would he still love me for me and not love me so many cases I have seen men end up dumping a girl that was financially supportive to them, I dont know why... May be the men here can shed some light on it

Odunharry:

Imagine.. Only in this part of the world many ladies wilk think n think before helping someone they claim to love.
whereas, guys don't evn see it as a big deal doing more for them.

esthertk:
Well most cases ladies tend to chill with a man that spends on them and its usually the other way round when a lady gives a man, and to set the records straight when he was working and had good pay i have never asked him for money. All my point is would he still love me for me and not love me so many cases I have seen men end up dumping a girl that was financially supportive to them, I dont know why... May be the men here can shed some light on it

The same way ladies dump men irrespective of the fact he spends or not.
Don't tell me he's Never given you anytime from the time u met till now.
You're really worried and truth be told, it's best you don't help him cos it doesn't seem to come from your heart.
Help him if you want to, but mind you, give what you think evn if you lose, you won't be worried.

To your question, people's needs differ and can't speak for all guys.
can i leave a good woman if i find her? Hell No.

You are a very good girl.. Most girls I know traveled out and dump their bfs

olac21:
Well,for all we know you didnt tell us how the relationship was before you travelled..but then,tell him you want to lend him a certain amount so he wont feel he has gotten a cash cow..

Instead tell him ur aunt knows a money lender n u will suggest if he can go to her. That way d money is secure for payment . Just my opinion

A Mature minded man sees the value in a helpmate than a playmate

Oliviaxx:

In your backyard

Doing what there? Come inside the house.

Odunharry:

Imagine.. Only in this part of the world many ladies wilk think n think before helping someone they claim to love.
whereas, guys don't evn see it as a big deal doing more for them.

Abi o! Some will even train their girls thru school only for d babes to dump d guys after graduation

Feel free to help him

CHARLOE:

Abi o! Some will even train their girls thru school only for d babes to dump d guys after graduation

Train thru school ke?