Donshemzy1234:



You know that's funny. lol

Really? I dont know oo...plus I wasnt making a joke.


But I do knw ur cute.

The weight of sand and stone are nothing compared to the trouble stupidity can cause

How much are we talking here? What business are we talking? What are the chances of survival of this business. I am sure you are talking about 1 million capital. I want to ask, what's future do you envisage for yourself. Do you think you can buy your man for that amount. Where does t young man sees himself. These are questions both of you should as your selves. Its never easy anywhere... It may take 10 years for a 1 Million Naira business to break even in Naija

McFabian07:
Here's my advice.
1. Don't give him money you can't let go.
2. Give him the money as a loan.
3. Don't give him the money directly. If you guys have an elderly male friend or relative, give the person the money to loan your bf. let the person never tell him it's from you. This way he will have his dignity and respect, and you would have helped him. possibly, the money may come back.
4. Don't expect anyhing in return, or never use it against him in the future.

Please This is the BEST advice here.....take it and forever be Happy.....am currently owing someone n am not happy about it......


right now am riding on dat Friendship tide to calm the raging storm......Had it not been.na guy from a rich family i would probably be in jail.


de point am.trying to.make is dat We guys sometimes don't value momentary helps especially if its coming from someone we can emotionally Black Mail.

do as this guy said n be happy....with an elder giving him d money he won't hv any other option to misbehave apart from.hustling n paying up faster n with better focus on making a meaningful income.

esthertk:
I need the candid advise of the matured minds here. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 8 months when our relationship was 3 months I was able to get a German visa and moved to Germany .

He lost his job 2 months ago, and we have been discussing on how he can get back on his feet, lots of interviews and no call back and with this harsh economy we consider it best he starts a business which he doesn't even have the capital.

I really wish I can support him but so scared it might be termed as using money to buy love and this might just make him stick to me for the wrong reasons or even later dump me... I am so confused

you can help him If you have what it takes to do that. however, don't give him what you can't let go should things go apart. more so, makes sure he shows serious intention to start up his own business before you commit your hard earned money eg, he should come up with a kind of business plan, talk about his experience of the biz or intention to learn the trade before going into it, remember you don't have to ask him directly for all this but through discussion you should be able to get these info and most importantly, he should contribute to the business no matter how small, he is been working for a while and as such should have savings. success

McFabian07:
Here's my advice.
1. Don't give him money you can't let go.
2. Give him the money as a loan.
3. Don't give him the money directly. If you guys have an elderly male friend or relative, give the person the money to loan your bf. let the person never tell him it's from you. This way he will have his dignity and respect, and you would have helped him. possibly, the money may come back.
4. Don't expect anyhing in return, or never use it against him in the future.

God bless you

mrjojo:
wow, am really surprised at the comment am seeing here Like what exactly is the big deal in helping someone you actually claimed you love for goodness sake? So it ok for guys to ditch out help without even thinking twice but when it is the other way around you ladies make an issue out of it. I had same issue with my ex, see we all human, sometimes we all need help. We were dating for over a yr plus, it was a serious, so i thought, I can't even count times I helped out even without asking, cos it not big deal, She was my gf, Well so it happens i needed help urgently and I knew she could or who else am I supposed to ask for hep if not for my gf right? well she started seeking advice from friends and her sisters, and i got to know. Well told her to hold her money, and i got somewhere else.

Well i think in this part if the world, Love is not Mutual, A lady will expect me to get gifts, "help" take her out etc,Which i will do without breaking a sweat, but when I actually needs help, she will start consulting her pastors. hmmm. Guys learn for real, If a lady is holding you like a pinch of salt, abeg don't carry her like a bag of rice.

@op, Madam I think you should keep your money, since you are even here to ask in the first place.(i doubt if you really love him though) God will surely provide another source for him,

You be correct guy man.

These oloshos dey open our eyes everyday.

I hope the guys are learning?

The question goes back to you.....what are your expectations; marriage, security, payback?

If you are to help him, do it without any attachments of a pay back in either ways.

He might not get the whole picture well, but so long as he sees you are not desperate, he will retrace his thoughts.

Your last option is to help him INDIRECTLY, give him the resources through a trusted third-party.

Assist him and if he fails you , God wont fail you .

pocohantas:

Guys ask!
Don't be a hypocrite. There are so many threads of guys asking if they should buy their girlfriends phone, help with her school fees on this same NL.
Some of you comment to gain cheap likes.

@OP, only give him out of your good heart.
See it as supporting a loved one, not because you want him to marry you.

i've actually been waiting for your comment...it finally came

I was like where dis babe, she suppose dey hea by nau. i almost gave up

searchng4love:
Don't help because you hope to be married to him. Help because you are willing and capable to. Loan? Yes.... But don't expect much from him....In return... Even marriage

This is the safest thing to do.
If you cannot do this, don't lend.

The truth is the girl is also poor and maybe working her ass out to make few euros otherwise the guy is not expecting you to build upstairs for him and am sure he would have helped you without blinking an eyelid if you are in his shoes .Don't feel like a hero by bringing such issue to nairaland.

truthsayer007:


i've actually been waiting for your comment...it finally came

I was like where dis babe, she suppose dey hea by nau. i almost gave up

I hate when people lie just for cheap likes.
It's so annoying!
How do they do it?
Because one girl comes out to ask this question, they conclude thousands of girls don't help their man. Wasn't it on NL we read of the babe who gave her guy money to travel abroad and he stopped communicating.

I hate liars!!!

dingbang:
If he hasn't asked you for assistance yet, don't give him ..

He might be the type of guy who has his "ego intact" and wont ever ask..... even if he is dying!


@Op:
The best thing to do is to let him know that "if he ever needs help", he can "ask" and you will be there for him, as much as you can.

Just tell him that and no more... then leave the rest to him.

BTW: helping him is no guarantee that he will eventually marry you!
if you want to help him, let it be that you want to do it because YOU THINK/KNOW IT IS THE RIGHT THING TO DO FOR A FRIEND.
Dont premise that "help" on marriage ......because you will likely become "possessive" and then become offended in the long run.
Most ladies think just because they helped a guy, he must marry them!
No!!
He does not have to marry you because if that was the "agreement" (if ever there was one), then you are simply buying that marriage or taking advantage of his poverty, to rail-road him into marriage!

Once he makes his own money, he would fell he does not have to abode by that rule you set for him! Im go fly away!
Same happens to men who educate and financially sponsor a lady!

Help him like you will help any other female friend of yours..... but dont expect anything in return
if it then happens that he feels he wants to marry you, then so be it but please make it clear to him that this has NOTHING to do with your romantic relationship with him.
Some guys with "real sense" can relate to that.

It is good though, to see that there are still women who 'think-it-through', like you.




Lastpage!

esthertk:
I need the candid advise of the matured minds here. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 8 months when our relationship was 3 months I was able to get a German visa and moved to Germany .

He lost his job 2 months ago, and we have been discussing on how he can get back on his feet, lots of interviews and no call back and with this harsh economy we consider it best he starts a business which he doesn't even have the capital.

I really wish I can support him but so scared it might be termed as using money to buy love and this might just make him stick to me for the wrong reasons or even later dump me... I am so confused

go and read Ruth, Esther, and The rest in the bible.

so you can't help your boyfriend unless he ask you

literally speaking you prefer to see him suffer when you can just help him

what is wrong with you is nothing but stupidity.

if you try to help him and he decline that's a real man and that's when you as a woman with reasoning faculty will strive to put forward and help in weather indirectly or anyway you can help him and just setting there and be thinking weather he will tag you desperate.

let me tell you what you don't know, if you love someone, you will find away to help him and not having a second thought about it but in your case you are displaying foolishness.

if I where the guy I would I leave you when I finally put myself together because I would think that if I peradventure marry you, you won't care for our child but rather yourself.


guys! if you ever come across this type of woman, run for your dear life!

Do what your mind tells you,if i saying anything make no be blame me at last.

esthertk:
I need the candid advise of the matured minds here. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 8 months when our relationship was 3 months I was able to get a German visa and moved to Germany .

He lost his job 2 months ago, and we have been discussing on how he can get back on his feet, lots of interviews and no call back and with this harsh economy we consider it best he starts a business which he doesn't even have the capital.

I really wish I can support him but so scared it might be termed as using money to buy love and this might just make him stick to me for the wrong reasons or even later dump me... I am so confused

please dont ever be scared of being dumped.

kilojoDesigns:
help babe. looks like you care much on what people wld say. wrong move if you truly want to be happy.
that guy wld never ask you for money help him cuz you are a good person and as a friend not as a gf waiting to be proposed too.

Best advice.

In order news: you're here cause of selfish motives. If I do it would I get hurt later? When you give help do it freely if you're not ready to help don't. Simple we would always get hurt one way or the other if you get hurt then you did it cause of who you're givers never lack and when it appears they're lacking someone would come to their aid.

esthertk:
I need the candid advise of the matured minds here. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 8 months when our relationship was 3 months I was able to get a German visa and moved to Germany .

He lost his job 2 months ago, and we have been discussing on how he can get back on his feet, lots of interviews and no call back and with this harsh economy we consider it best he starts a business which he doesn't even have the capital.

I really wish I can support him but so scared it might be termed as using money to buy love and this might just make him stick to me for the wrong reasons or even later dump me... I am so confused

If you love him for the right reasons then you shouldn't feel this way. Help him for christ sake. I trained a lady in the university but we didn't get married and we ve no ill feelings for each other. If I were u I will sponsor him to join u over their cos a woman is nothing without a man

pocohantas:

I hate when people lie just for cheap likes.
It's so annoying!
How do they do it?
Because one girl comes out to ask this question, they conclude thousands of girls don't help their man. Wasn't it on NL we read of the babe who gave her guy money to travel abroad and he stopped communicating.

I hate liars!!!

Yes o, E dey always happen both ways.

Issues like this regularly occur. No be new thing.

yomi007k:



Na wa oooo..




And we help our women without thinking twice or asking for people's opinion.



We learn daily.

Your post is really hilarious

esthertk:
Yes he does and his plan is for us to get married before the end of the year

Chai! This is an eye opener. A guys gives to the woman he loves and even the one he does not love without thinking twice.

A woman opens a thread to get advice from strangers in order to decide whether to give to the one she is supposed to love. Chai!!

esthertk:
I need the candid advise of the matured minds here. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 8 months when our relationship was 3 months I was able to get a German visa and moved to Germany .

He lost his job 2 months ago, and we have been discussing on how he can get back on his feet, lots of interviews and no call back and with this harsh economy we consider it best he starts a business which he doesn't even have the capital.

I really wish I can support him but so scared it might be termed as using money to buy love and this might just make him stick to me for the wrong reasons or even later dump me... I am so confused

See babe, your boyfriend is too proud to ask you.. He's a man he doesn't want you to see his helplessness. In his mind he should be the provider and not the other way round ... But if you really wanna help him, you can try the trick I use. Tell him you wanna loan him the money till he can pay, then forget about it. Keep in mind that any new attitude you develop might be see as an act of pride.

esthertk:
I need the candid advise of the matured minds here. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 8 months when our relationship was 3 months I was able to get a German visa and moved to Germany .

He lost his job 2 months ago, and we have been discussing on how he can get back on his feet, lots of interviews and no call back and with this harsh economy we consider it best he starts a business which he doesn't even have the capital.

I really wish I can support him but so scared it might be termed as using money to buy love and this might just make him stick to me for the wrong reasons or even later dump me... I am so confused

give!! do not bother yourself with what he thinks.

dont ever try to help your boyfriend to upgrade him, he will never never appreciate it, trust me on that. i have been there

truthsayer007:


Yes o, E dey always happen both ways.

Issues like this regularly occur. No be new thing.

Bless you.
I dated this guy that was really low on cash, I would always give him cash and buy him gifts.
Did that keep him? No. Life goes on...I don't regret the things I did for him and it won't stop me from doing for another tomorrow.

Trust me, we all have opinion on issues like this. Both experienced and inexperienced folks alike. My own is that if you really understand yourselves, you don't need anyone to tell you to help your guy out. Fine if you are scared of the outcome..But you have to zero your mind that no matter what, you helped someone get back his feet..

It's not really be termed as desperate.

But be to get shock absorber if at the end he decided that another lady is more worthy of him as a husband.

ifex370:
No real man will ask you for money..

If u wanna help.. Do so at the largeness of your heart

Asking your woman for support doesn’t make you unreal. Most men are just too egocentric to ask. Asking is not a problem, paying her back is what makes a real man

esthertk:
I need the candid advise of the matured minds here. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 8 months when our relationship was 3 months I was able to get a German visa and moved to Germany .

He lost his job 2 months ago, and we have been discussing on how he can get back on his feet, lots of interviews and no call back and with this harsh economy we consider it best he starts a business which he doesn't even have the capital.

I really wish I can support him but so scared it might be termed as using money to buy love and this might just make him stick to me for the wrong reasons or even later dump me... I am so confused

My sista,please assist him in the spirit of valentine.If he was in your shoe,i'm sure he will do same thing.
He may not have the guts to ask but please assist him for good and God will bless you.

Kondomatic:
I hope the male idiots that give money to them ladies anyhow and anywhere have learnt something from this.

thank you!

you see how our naija women are behaving like baboons

LMAO at broke little boys in this thread whining that girls should empty their accounts for them. As if we don't know what Nigerian men are like.

OP, if you give him that money directly, it will never stop. He will never forget it, and he will also be defensive and have it in the back of his mind forever. Worst case scenario, he may even be straffing and spending your money on another babe.

Listen to this person. Wisest post you will get on this thread.

McFabian07:
Here's my advice.
1. Don't give him money you can't let go.
2. Give him the money as a loan.
3. Don't give him the money directly. If you guys have an elderly male friend or relative, give the person the money to loan your bf. let the person never tell him it's from you. This way he will have his dignity and respect, and you would have helped him. possibly, the money may come back.
4. Don't expect anyhing in return, or never use it against him in the future.