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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / 17.2% Of My Monthly Salary Goes To My Wife & Yet... (74061 Views)
Time To Divorce My Wife? / My Monthly Income And Expenditure Please I Need Advice / Man Fakes His Career For 14 Years To Wife, Goes To Another Woman's House (2) (3) (4)
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Re: 17.2% Of My Monthly Salary Goes To My Wife & Yet... by poshestmina(f): 12:12am On Mar 20, 2017 |
I add money too but why was she rude? Some women sef .hian! |
Re: 17.2% Of My Monthly Salary Goes To My Wife & Yet... by Dyt(f): 4:07am On Mar 20, 2017 |
skypeme: Too much? ![]() ![]() She's even moderate 3 Likes |
Re: 17.2% Of My Monthly Salary Goes To My Wife & Yet... by Gold45(f): 4:11am On Mar 20, 2017 |
skypeme: Perfect response. We all need to be wary of the kind of advices we open ourselves to on social media. Social media mostly gives us the most rational and logical answer and solution but if you follow these "logical" solution, you might as well kiss your marriage goodbye. Never forget that the best marriage on earth is the marriage between two fools I didnt say that you should let your wife ride you, I mean you have to let many things pass. For this case, I advice you plan your monthly finances, goals you're saving towards, expenses etc with her. Women are good managers but we also love spending other peoples money. But that doesnt mean we would spend our children's future too. I believe that once sh understand the flow of cash, she'll appreciate you and even help you save more. Pls o, dont cut off her pay for two whole months, thats war. You're the head of the family but soft words will profit you more in this case than show of strength. 7 Likes |
Re: 17.2% Of My Monthly Salary Goes To My Wife & Yet... by zaynie(f): 6:48am On Mar 20, 2017 |
I add money all the time. And I work. And earn just right. In fact anytime I am pregnant is a money making period for me. I once chopped my antenatal money and didn't register for my second pregnancy on time, my husband had to follow me to the hospital like an errant child to pay by himself. When my kids are about to start eating solid food, haaaaa small small money most pop in. Even to buy drugs, I add money and dispose receipts. The day my husband found out our brand of cough syrup isn't up to 1000, he came home and started hailing me. Bro, you need to lighten up. I bet you were so high strung when you called her. Feeling so righteously angry and judgy. And you sound so uptight too. You calculate her allowance in %, you call the hospital to confirm the bill, you want to slash her allowance because she was rude. You are her husband and not her father or her boss. Relax!! Does she spend anyhow? She probably is keeping all these money somewhere to start a business or do her own thing. 30 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: 17.2% Of My Monthly Salary Goes To My Wife & Yet... by Acidosis(m): 8:06am On Mar 20, 2017 |
I don't know how to advise you as I'm not married. But of a fact, I believe you saw these traits and tendencies while dating so I won't condemn her actions. There is no way you will date a woman in 6 months and not notice her countenance towards money. Some men are totally cool with such actions anyway. For me, I can't live with a woman that demands or expects monthly salary from me. I can give you my card, pin to withdraw whatever amount you want, but salary?! No, I won't! You might say my position is worse, but then again, I won't even be with a woman I can't trust with my ATM in the first place. That action is wrong and any woman that allows that needs to check herself, something is definitely wrong. You should be with a woman you can trust with your most cherished resources. Secondly, I cannot marry a student (personal reasons). As you have seen, my points are irrelevant to you. We share opposing views. 12 Likes |
Re: 17.2% Of My Monthly Salary Goes To My Wife & Yet... by Acidosis(m): 8:13am On Mar 20, 2017 |
zaynie: Why inflate cost, lie and deceive her husband? Why insult and disgrace herself because of a business she couldn't discuss with her husband? Imagine the way she would be addressed the next time she visits the hospital. Of course, she would be viewed as a dishonest wife. I'm sure the Doctor would henceforth direct the invoice abi bill directly to the husband 18 Likes 1 Share |
Re: 17.2% Of My Monthly Salary Goes To My Wife & Yet... by Nobody: 8:52am On Mar 20, 2017 |
Acidosis: I don't advice any guy to 6 Likes |
Re: 17.2% Of My Monthly Salary Goes To My Wife & Yet... by zaynie(f): 8:58am On Mar 20, 2017 |
Acidosis: Sometimes people just do these things. Don't forget we have only heard his version of the story not hers. I know of a couple that any small thing the man would say "at least I put money for food down before I leave in the mornings ". The wife will just have this quiet smile. When she put the baby at less than a year in a creche and went to search for work, the husband yari and that was when the bubble burst that it was #200 he put on the table every morning for a breastfeeding mom to eat for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Back then we used to wonder why she loved noodles so much. "he said" he gives her 30k monthly. Every month? He has never missed it? If she comes from a poor family (which might be the case considering he is paying her school fees) and is the eldest, that money can't be enough to cater for their needs. These little monies that come by can be handy. I'm not justifying what she did. And the hospital can never look at her like that. Do you know how many women they cover up? Someone planned fake school receipt for her husband because after school fees he doesn't pay another dime in the school. The extra money was what she used to pay for some extra curricular activities for the kids, buy uniforms and books. 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: 17.2% Of My Monthly Salary Goes To My Wife & Yet... by Nobody: 9:46am On Mar 20, 2017 |
I think I made a mistake getting married to someone who is still schooling, I should have married a working class lady 17 Likes 1 Share |
Re: 17.2% Of My Monthly Salary Goes To My Wife & Yet... by Acidosis(m): 9:57am On Mar 20, 2017 |
zaynie: You are right 2 Likes |
Re: 17.2% Of My Monthly Salary Goes To My Wife & Yet... by Nobody: 10:39am On Mar 20, 2017 |
. 12 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: 17.2% Of My Monthly Salary Goes To My Wife & Yet... by zaynie(f): 11:02am On Mar 20, 2017 |
AllforJesus7: Chill. She's in school right? How far is it from home? She needs transport fare daily. With the recent hike, the least amount is most likely 600 naira daily. Multiply by 20 working days----- 12000. If it's higher than that we are looking at almost 20k How long does she stay in school? If she stays till like 4pm, she needs to eat something even if she had breakfast at home. 200*20 -----4000 She will buy toiletries o..... Always pad is now 300 naira, God bless her if she has heavy flow. Soap and body lotion nko? Do you know ordinary weaving is now 500 naira. Retouching is up to 1k , relaxer is 3k. Prices of body spray is now doubled. And she has to look good for her husband Na..... Abi. How many siblings does she have? Money for Jamb form, money for Nepa, money for food, papas drugs, mama's market is depleted and needs a little infuse of funds, house rent remain 10k make e complete, dem send junior comot from school because e never complete his school fees, (all this is in my head, abeg) If he didn't want so many responsibilities he shouldn't have married a student. Asking a married-mother-student to get a job or start a business is putting undue pressure on the young woman. Skypeme, my honest advice is for you and your wife to sit and analyse how much is needed to run the house. You give her enough money to buy the foodstuffs and you face the baby's needs. Then you put her on a trial for 2 months, she needs to know she is on trial o. You see women have a way of finding where to buy things the cheapest not minding trekking to the end of the world for it. That way she makes her honest extras. The money that was never enough to cater for one month for us in my home now does for 2 months ever since I started going to Mile12. All in a bid to get extras in my pocket ![]() 20 Likes 1 Share |
Re: 17.2% Of My Monthly Salary Goes To My Wife & Yet... by Godmother(f): 1:09pm On Mar 20, 2017 |
Overtime, I have learnt bringing your marital problems online is a wrong move as you will get a lot of 'advice' from people not equipped to give them. How can someone jump to the conclusion the wife was rude cos their is another man somewhere. What's the rationale behind that thought? How did he even get to that conclusion? Anyways, @OP There are always two sides to any story. We have heard yours and just like is expected, you gave us your perspective. I feel you should sit your wife down and you both should have a long heart-to-heart talk. And please when discussing, don't cast yourself into the role of the erred and she the offender. That would only make her defensive and possibly defeat the purpose of the discussion. 2 Likes |
Re: 17.2% Of My Monthly Salary Goes To My Wife & Yet... by zaynie(f): 6:06pm On Mar 20, 2017 |
skypeme: Never a mistake. Always a lesson. Move on from it, not like she is never going to graduate or get a job. Just hold the forte till she is able to help/support you. 12 Likes 1 Share |
Re: 17.2% Of My Monthly Salary Goes To My Wife & Yet... by Viking007(m): 6:34pm On Mar 20, 2017 |
skypeme:Ok, this is very funny. 4 Likes
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Re: 17.2% Of My Monthly Salary Goes To My Wife & Yet... by mctowel01: 6:49pm On Mar 20, 2017 |
But guy, why you go carry liability like this. When they tell you to marry ambitious ladies, you won't, you will carry Ojukokoro student wey her eye dey chuk for flasy things and come and be lamenting to us here. Abegi 4 Likes |
Re: 17.2% Of My Monthly Salary Goes To My Wife & Yet... by mctowel01: 6:51pm On Mar 20, 2017 |
Viking007:Hahahahahaha. I can't believe my eyes... E remain say make him offer am employment letter as housewife 9 Likes |
Re: 17.2% Of My Monthly Salary Goes To My Wife & Yet... by Viking007(m): 6:54pm On Mar 20, 2017 |
mctowel01: ![]() |
Re: 17.2% Of My Monthly Salary Goes To My Wife & Yet... by mctowel01: 6:56pm On Mar 20, 2017 |
Pieromania:You dont get... Its not about cheating. This girl will probably be using his financial status to be the envy of her friends, forgetting that its not easy to be a man, providing for a family. 3 Likes |
Re: 17.2% Of My Monthly Salary Goes To My Wife & Yet... by mctowel01: 7:01pm On Mar 20, 2017 |
sasko:You made a point, but there are times where you can genuinely inflate costs, and the husband will understand. Maybe, it could be money to tip a gateman who let you past the gate and some stuff like that. The bottom line is that, it should be seen by both parties in good intents at the end of the day. 1 Like |
Re: 17.2% Of My Monthly Salary Goes To My Wife & Yet... by mctowel01: 7:04pm On Mar 20, 2017 |
Zoharariel:Fact... They sometimes used to think its easy to make money.. Just like teenagers collecting money from their parents. 5 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: 17.2% Of My Monthly Salary Goes To My Wife & Yet... by mctowel01: 7:08pm On Mar 20, 2017 |
pcguru1:Guy, you nailed it!! 2 Likes |
Re: 17.2% Of My Monthly Salary Goes To My Wife & Yet... by Eketem: 7:28pm On Mar 20, 2017 |
Anytime you want to discover hypocrisy of women just bring money issue. Then equality flies out of the window, decency and honesty we demand from men disappears. Ha, fear God biko Nairaland women. Stealing is stealing lying is lying no justification or excuse abeg. Oga I suggest you deduct the exact amount from her next allowance let her understand actions have consequences and stealing is not tolerated in your home. If she has friends like some women here advising her that stealing from the family purse is normal let her learn it isn't in your own home 24 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: 17.2% Of My Monthly Salary Goes To My Wife & Yet... by UIA04(f): 10:30pm On Mar 20, 2017 |
Re: 17.2% Of My Monthly Salary Goes To My Wife & Yet... by djon78(m): 11:15pm On Mar 20, 2017 |
Bro your wife is still seriously immature, a student, never worked, you are carrying the whole financial baggage. You have to really develop plenty patience for her because you will need it. In fact you have a long way to go. The solution is first, be patient with her, on the other hand find ways to begin to train, develop and coach her to become responsible(depends on her willingness). And you need serious wisdom for this. I can see you invoking Gods name so ask and pray for God to give you wisdom to handle her. 4 Likes |
Re: 17.2% Of My Monthly Salary Goes To My Wife & Yet... by ashjay001(m): 11:49pm On Mar 20, 2017 |
skypeme: Cele tan e! U're on a long tin! Take his advice to heart n shine ur eyes! Or else, u'll just wake up one morning n wonder, what d heck happened! 3 Likes |
Re: 17.2% Of My Monthly Salary Goes To My Wife & Yet... by Realhommie(m): 7:02am On Mar 21, 2017 |
Dyt:Considering how much he earns and other expenses he's responsible for, yes it is too much. Besides, almost double the initial sum can't be moderate, lai lai. 40 - 50% would've been ok though it's not right. 1 Like |
Re: 17.2% Of My Monthly Salary Goes To My Wife & Yet... by Dyt(f): 7:05am On Mar 21, 2017 |
Realhommie: You sound like you go to the market yourself ![]() ![]() |
Re: 17.2% Of My Monthly Salary Goes To My Wife & Yet... by Dyt(f): 7:12am On Mar 21, 2017 |
skypeme: SMH |
Re: 17.2% Of My Monthly Salary Goes To My Wife & Yet... by Realhommie(m): 7:19am On Mar 21, 2017 |
Gold45:How perfect was/is his response? He's free to declare whatever but that doesn't negate the fact that he's having some issues in his marriage right now which he wants to genuinely resolve, i mean that's why he put it out here to seek opinions.. Now, there was no where that guy wrote that he wished for Op's marriage to crash, he only advised him to deal with it properly else it may spell doom for him in the long run and he's busy screaming "My marriage will not crash IJN", like it's Jesus that will coman do the work for him.. Even the bible says "Faith without work isn't workable, it's dead".. That dude was only asking him to put in the needed "WORK" so as to remedy the situation and salvage the marriage, he's busy declaring and you're saying perfect response.. The truth remains that, if Op doesn't handle this with care it may just turn out a full blown war and anything could happen afterwards. He stated that she responded rudely when he quizzed her, this means she may be prepared for whatever so you can see how dicey the situation is already. 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: 17.2% Of My Monthly Salary Goes To My Wife & Yet... by Realhommie(m): 7:23am On Mar 21, 2017 |
Dyt:Is that what you could deduce? Lol Well, i'm not married so yes you're right, i do.. |
Re: 17.2% Of My Monthly Salary Goes To My Wife & Yet... by Dyt(f): 7:24am On Mar 21, 2017 |
Realhommie: Don't stop oo Even when married |
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