skypeme:


She isn't cheating on me and my marriage will not break IJN

yes bro ur marriage Wil nt break so long as u handle this is with wisdom. Most women do this as well. They see it as one of d means of getting extra money from hubby to make up other expenditures she might not want to bother u wit. I guess d way u confronted her was nt the best.

skypeme:


30,100 / 175,000 x 100% = 17.2%
I add 2.5% increment to my wifes salary every Dec

2.5% increment every December. I bet she gets leave allowance, Xmas bonus etc. Some people have worked 10yrs in some companies without increment. I hope u deduct pension and tax too.

oruma19:
Pretend u didn't knw she liked money so much before u got married to her. Omo everybody with the cross wey him carry. My wife never returns any money I give her to keep for me. Whenever I ask for the money she gives me a detailed paper on how she spent it on the children and the entire household. I made up my mind never to lend money to her or give her for safe keeping unless I am ready to loose the cash. All man with him cross bro. Mine does not steal or cheat, she only uses any money she sees in the house afterall " na our money" to marry no be beans oooo. Let me not fail to say she has a business and also works and she spends all the cash in the house which is also very visible. Everybody get him own problem with money for. Manage ur own to help urself man ..

Bros, this ur comment make me laff pieces, chai
to marry no be beans ee, hehehe

"Let me not fail to say she has a business and also works and she spends all the cash in the house which is also very visible".



Babes no just get chill now, na to just dy hustle more dy go dy pray make d money just dy sumhow else, hehehe

Op I wanna ask u a question bf I now advice you on wat to do.....plz tel us during ur school dayz hv u not inflated the price of anytin....? That one aside....see my friend what makes u a head of a family iz to take decision within the house u control.... forum like do help bt I believe this has to be handled in ur family....with the decision coming from you after much consideration......To me iz a normal thing women do....my mama dey do am too...

Sir,how do you manage to gather every advice given to you here ?some weird,many quack & most foolish only few are genuine..I don't know what you want from us!!!Only you can handle your marriage,go home communicate with your wife I know she will listen...Most peep here don't care about your marital affair,the Economic condition of the country is enough concern
The Moment you put your marriage on social platform,the marriage is heading for the Rock BE WISE!!!!!!

HARDDON:
Ehmmmm op, how did u arrive @ that 17.2%?

Any mathematical formular applied?

As inn , i was wondering myself too .

OP, you saw the signs before marriage but you ignored it, probably because she is beautiful you lost your senses during negotiation, you even stated her primary duties which goes to show, your marriage is like a contract. Now let me assume that your 175k is after tax, as a good Christian which I guess you are, you pay tithe of like 17k with offering let say 20k, let say you buy fuel for your car and generator and monthly maintenance is about 15k, you pay her 30k, you buy food and other miscellaneous let say monthly 35k, 100k gone already, we guys love our mum, let assume you give dad, mum and siblings 30k, 45k remaining, save that for a year that is about 450k, you will pay house rent after one year and still pay her school fees, I guess you mix your allowances and little savings to do that, guess since you married her you may not be able to pinpoint one thing you've done..... I pity you, you don't have a wife, the day you lose your job is the day you lose your wife, it's best you reduce the allowances to 15k and tell her to curb her expenses, if not I pity your soul, remember, you are working for someone, plan your exit before they show you d exit.... Not asking you to divorce her but you need to teach her some economics

Dyt:


Leave the stingy man
Even calculating in percentage

I use owo abu to take care of abu

it might be funny the way he put it but believe me he is not stingy, considering the amount and other things involved. . 30,100 from 175k is not something a stingy person would do. But the funny part is the 100naira and the 2.5% increment... Ayamnotunderstanding how he gets to such ridiculous figures.

skypeme:
I think I made a mistake getting married to someone who is still schooling, I should have married a working class lady

Don't think like that. What level is your wife?

k199192:
it might be funny the way he put it but believe me he is not stingy, considering the amount and other things involved. . 30,100 from 175k is not something a stingy person would do. But the funny part is the 100naira and the 2.5% increment... Ayamnotunderstanding how he gets to such ridiculous figures.

He's a great man

I am very very disappointed in ,You, when are we gonna ,learn, your family biz is your biz and it's not something U share with the world. If u have a ,problem, seek advice from a clergy and not from SM

zaynie:
I add money all the time.
And I work. And earn just right.
In fact anytime I am pregnant is a money making period for me. I once chopped my antenatal money and didn't register for my second pregnancy on time, my husband had to follow me to the hospital like an errant child to pay by himself. When my kids are about to start eating solid food, haaaaa small small money most pop in.
Even to buy drugs, I add money and dispose receipts. The day my husband found out our brand of cough syrup isn't up to 1000, he came home and started hailing me.



Bro, you need to lighten up.
I bet you were so high strung when you called her. Feeling so righteously angry and judgy.
And you sound so uptight too. You calculate her allowance in %, you call the hospital to confirm the bill, you want to slash her allowance because she was rude. You are her husband and not her father or her boss.
Relax!!
Does she spend anyhow? She probably is keeping all these money somewhere to start a business or do her own thing.

Best comment by miles on this thread.

Op should loosen up, he is so uptight. Marriage should be fun and enjoyed. What your wife did is what up to 80% of women do , "yab your wife about this", abeg find a way to make a good joke about this issue and watch how it can spice up your marriage. The rude response you got was likely from the way you confronted her... like woman I don catch u today.

1.Please, learn to treat your wife as an equal in the marriage not an employee.

2. Share and dissect your payslip and how it is spent monthly with your wife so she would understand how modest your salary is so she can either adjust accordingly and stop seeing you as a stingy man who gives her only 30k out of the millions he earns.

3. Delegate more responsibility to your wife , e.g let her buy the baby food sometimes and add a little change on the money too. This makes women feel good, engenders camaraderie which is healthy for the union.

4. I suspect there is an age gap between you and your wife , so come down to her level and understand how her mind functions so you can enjoy the marriage more or alternatively bring her up to your level ( in love) and help her attain emotional maturity.

5. Do not starve your wife of funds. I repeat do not withold your wife's allowance. she can use it as justification to do outrageous things that will make this spiral out of control.
Moreover, remember that life is like a see-saw , 10 years from now (God forbid) you may lose your job , take ill , and find yourself dependent on her, this is when you would realise that some women never forget/forgive.
6.My brother , try and losen up , make your wife your best friend because the marriage you are defining here sounds like contract marriage (I'm so sorry to address your marriage as such). Find a way to spice up your marriage and engage more with your wife.

7 Remember not to take most of the advice you read here.Most of us here are single and doesn't understand the dynamics of marriage.

GOOD LUCK.

skypeme:
Dear reasonable people on Nairaland, please I need your advise

My wife whom I love so much and also loves me too is entitled to 17.2% of my monthly income, my salary is 175kpm and she take 17.2% of this amount, yet she feels very uncomfortable with it

I pay the bills, buy food stuff every month and take care of our little baby girl

My baby girl does not take any local food, she takes only fresogold, tea and pap, the cost of fresogold is very high and she can consume 4tins in a month

My wife isn't not working yet she is still schooling and I pay all her fees,

I've never complaint of my duty as the head of the family yet she still feels unsatisfied with the 17.2% I give to her

Her primary duty in the house is to take care of our baby and prepare my dinner every week days and both break fast and dinner during the weekend

Recently I told her to take our baby to the hospital for treatment, our total bill was 11,500 naira but my wife suprisinly told me that the hospital bill is 22,700 naira which I immediately wired to her account

So I called the hospital to make inquiries about the exorbitant bill then I got to know that my wife inflated the hospital bill to 22,700 naira

I confronted her and she spoke to me very rudly I was not happy about this, I kept quite and didn't say anything about it again

I am thinking I should penalize her for her rude behaviour and the dishonesty she has melted on me

Will it be advisable not to pay her her monthly salary for two months ?

Will this correct her brain to default and what would possibly be the implication of doing this ?

She has not apologised and she has not seen anything wrong so far in what she has done

don't mind most of we woman jare,wats d need in adding money wen it isn't like ur husband is stingy.

Dyt:


Anything addable

Well done..

adeoba2008:
My wife does that too. At times she add extra cost to school fees.

We are not talking of extra cost. How will you feel if your wife doubles the money? That's what we want to know

golddust6000:
hmm, see talk o. You mean men should marry and pay their wives monthly salary? So marriege is now Employment? The dude was angry because her wife is disrespecting him, how can he pay her salary on what ground? If marriege were to favoring the women i rather remain single orgo for sorrogation, women wahala to much, even adam sef tire for them. One thing i can diggest on what op narrate was the woman have high taste, she want to be among the big girls in school. I dont care how ugly a woman can be, if she respect me i can buy her the world

Lool Oga read my post again , I am neither in support or against OP placing his wife on allowance simply because the dynamics of different families are different.

I was only stating that it sounded more like an employee ,employer relationship when he mentioned the December bonus part, sounded funny to me since he decided to use that statement. Either way directly or indirectly a lot of women receive allowance from their hubby , except wives don't get money from the husband's again.

Well as for the disrespectful part, I don't support any one disrespecting anybody either wife or hubby.

Don't let women wahala tire you ooo, one can't do without them.

Dyt:


Anything addable

Well done

Now that's a real man talking!

Any room for wifey No 2

Intra:
Dear Op,
I don't usually post on this forum, but yours is an interesting scenario.
I am in a similar position and I'd like to share with you how I was able to handle the situation. While I earn significantly more than you and therefore what I make available to my wife is more than yours, the principles are the same so I believe this might be helpful.

I make available 125k available to my wife every month, then a further 80k for the home needs (we have just 2 kids ages 3yrs and 1yr) in addition to the housemaid's salary, DSTV, fuel etc. but despite this, I still get tagged ''irresponsible'' by her and by the 19th or thereabouts she is already on the war path asking for more funds. She is a lawyer but she doesn't work so I quite understand that she doesn't have an independent source of income (I assume the same is the case with yours too).

Initially, I used to get quite resentful especially when her folks start calling me to ask why I'm depriving her of money when I know she doesn't work.
I got tired of explaining that I fork out minimum 250k every month on so-called upkeep.
So how did I solve this problem.
I sat her down and asked her to let us work out a monthly budget for the house....including her own allowance.

We wrote down everything needed for the month and the cost. We argued robustly on this until we were able to agree at a fixed sum. Then I made it clear to her that no matter what happens, by the 28th of every month, I will transfer this sum to her account. Even if I have to beg, steal or borrow it. And on her own part, she has to administer that money judiciously because no matter what happens, one extra naira will not come before the next allowance is due.
I stopped interfering in what she buys for the house, when she buys it and all those details. My own is that there must be no lack in the house once I've fulfilled my own part of the agreement.

The first month was funny because she attempted to ask for more, but I was resolute. it was kinda tough but she got the message. So she learnt 'Home Economics' by force. Maybe it helped that I have health insurance that covered the whole family from the office and I don't have so many friends or family around me so there are really no unexpected expenses during the month.

So, OP...you might try this approach. Instead of burdening yourself with trying to run the home and being billed for expenses as they come, agree a total monthly budget with her, and make that available every month, consistently, without any excuse. I want to believe that if she sees that consistency in the amount and timing....she herself will work to fit in with your financial planning.

Cheers and best of luck.

the only reason i can add additional money for expenses , is if he is being extravagant and spending unecessary, i will be forced to drill money out of him and save incase of emergency, but if he is wise with his money i wont bother especially when he thinks of the future like i do. Respect is everything for a matured man and indirectly the power of a woman to make real men do things for them.

Guy she didn't marry you out of love But for material things, give her salary and find a way to know if she loves you or not but before then learn how to cook it will help you in your mission.

Really bro? Really?! Nairaland of all places?! Where 18 year olds who can't even keep a girlfriend talkless of a family will give you ridiculous, immature advises?, Insult your wife, and then put st_upid ideas in your head that will ultimately get you to making absurd decisions?

Anyway, I hope you are able to sieve the 5 percent out of the 100% that will give you sound advise sha.

Anyway, here is my 2 pence.


You earn 175 monthly and give her 30k. Did you two sit down to discuss your finances? Do you have fixed savings.

You buy everything in the house. Including the crayfish, soup and stew ingredients, vegetables, meat and fish, etc I suppose. No, you don't?

Do you realise how expensive things are now?

Her personal effects from cream, sanitary toiletries to her hair to school transportation to handouts, school assignments etc

Let me tell you a secret, if you are open to your wife, lay all the cards on the table and then tell her you two should plan it as partners, a team, instead of making it seem like employer-employee relationship, she will manage what ever it is YOU TWO DECIDE she gets, even if its 20k. That's women for you.

I believe you don't have a side chic. If you do (and she knows), then the wife will make sure she frustrates you financially so you have less money to dole out to your girlfriend. That's another thing.

Does she feel appreciated? I noticed where you said the only responsibility she has is to cook and care for the child. Really though? So who keeps the home tidy, wash the baby's clothes, mop the floors,washes the bathrooms, go to the market, removes the cobwebs, makes the bed, pick up after you, dust the house, wash the plates, etc

When it comes to carrying for a baby, I can't even start to list the number of things involved. If you were to pay a nanny to come care for a kid, do you know how much that will cost monthly.
My point is this, do you see her as not doing much when it comes to her responsibility in the house.Then she probably doesn't feel bad reciprocating your attitude or lack of lack of appreciation with your financial responsibility as well.

See ehn, don't listen to all this frustrated nairaland small boys who are always quick to insult women o. When they get married, they might even submit 80% of their whole salary to thier wives and tell her to plan on it herself. (If the lady is a good prudent woman with a good IQ, this may actually be a peaceful option especially if the salary is less than 200k).

I hope you sit your wife down and both of you rub minds.Dissect it for her and convince her that you are left with next to nothing at the end of your expenses. Do this on a calm manner.
Or you could actually write down your feelings and let her write hers.

When she starts working, she will be happy to hand over her own money too while you two plan on the combined money.

God bless your marriage.

salusworth:
This is very easy. Teach her to be financially responsible. Yes she's a student and you fund her every needs doesn't mean she shouldn't being something to the table. From the way i see this, she's not comfortable with the percentage of your salary you're giving her despite the numerous costs your bear.

Here's the solution. Save some cash for her to start a side business learn a skill or trade. We have students who make dresses, cakes and catering as side hustle and income from that is used to support their stipends. Your wife shouldn't be an exception. Let her learn this skill and start a side business. Do your best to ensure she's stabilised and when the business begins to pick, shove some responsibilities at her e.g, NEPA bills, fuel, small repairs around the house, all other school needs minus school fees, and other basic home needs.

Look on the bright side, the only reason she stole from you is cos she doesn't wanna go get that money from some means you won't be pleased with.

You're​ allowed to be mad at her but teach her some financial responsibility. And pls don't discontinue her allowance. Let her have a side hustle.

Thank me later.

what if she isn't ready to learn a side business

kimbra:
Why are some of the guys on this thread making a mountain out of a molehill?.

Most men whose wives are stay at home mothers get monthly stipends which is for their upkeep. Some women inflate prices of things to their husbands as a means to add more money to their wallets, for some men they find out and don't care cos they understand the rationale behind it. As for her rude attitude it's bad and is what should bother you most. Not her inflation of hospital bills. Would you let N11,200 cost you your marriage?.

u make it sound like what she did is OK/normal

After doing all he listed, how much does he even have to save? Cost of feeding alone nai die wey 1kilo of Chicken is #1,300. #175kpm is not a lot of money if not properly managed.

In a way I don't support the salary buhaha, that's where the spoiling starts from, give her when you identify or she has a need. Sometimes this is the cross of marrying someone who isn't working. But then, some working class women who earn good pay may not support the home with shishi. I fear that she may not be willing to support when she starts earning income.

There are different ways of running a family's finance, this particular option of the man doing everything I don't support at all. "Your money is our money and my money is my money "

She went as far as inflating the medical bill. She shouldn't give room for distrust and secrecy. You will have to try dialogue and make her see reasons. Be humble about it please; don't feel because you are the bread winner now you have all the rights. I try to believe that people in love don't do things deliberately to hurt each other.

Any wise woman will adjust except she doesn't care about the future financial security of the family.

Dear reasonable people on Nairaland, please I need your advise

My wife whom I love so much and also loves me too is entitled to 17.2% of my monthly income, my salary is 175kpm and she take 17.2% of this amount, yet she feels very uncomfortable with it

I pay the bills, buy food stuff every month and take care of our little baby girl

My baby girl does not take any local food, she takes only fresogold, tea and pap, the cost of fresogold is very high and she can consume 4tins in a month

My wife isn't not working yet she is still schooling and I pay all her fees,

I've never complaint of my duty as the head of the family yet she still feels unsatisfied with the 17.2% I give to her

Her primary duty in the house is to take care of our baby and prepare my dinner every week days and both break fast and dinner during the weekend

Recently I told her to take our baby to the hospital for treatment, our total bill was 11,500 naira but my wife suprisinly told me that the hospital bill is 22,700 naira which I immediately wired to her account

So I called the hospital to make inquiries about the exorbitant bill then I got to know that my wife inflated the hospital bill to 22,700 naira

I confronted her and she spoke to me very rudly I was not happy about this, I kept quite and didn't say anything about it again

I am thinking I should penalize her for her rude behaviour and the dishonesty she has melted on me

Will it be advisable not to pay her her monthly salary for two months ?

Will this correct her brain to default and what would possibly be the implication of doing this ?

She has not apologised and she has not seen anything wrong so far in what she has done




Bro, what you need do is to have a very good conversation with her. Ask her what you are doing that she doesn't like and or if you have offended her that you are not aware of. Let her know the inconveniences she puts you through. Apologize for anything you might have done wrong. You claim she loves you, if that be the case, explore that part to your advantage. Show her lots of love and you will see the result. God will uphold your marriage.

ednut1:
how person wan take reason marriage with all this nonsense perform dey see. my salary pass op own, but i can barely save 50k from it. God forbid i marry a liability. chai

So you can't pay your wife 30k monthly salary abi?

30,100 / 175,000 x 100% = 17.2%
I add 2.5% increment to my wifes salary every Dec


You are making it sound like its an employee employer stuff, December bonus abi issorait cheesy

NoToPile:



You are making it sound like its an employee employer stuff, December bonus abi issorait

Maybe he got the Job from the wife's family and de gave both of them the offer letter.... (or mayb he got the job through the wife, which makes her also entitled to the gross

HARDDON:
Ehmmmm op, how did u arrive @ that 17.2%?

Any mathematical formular applied?

17. 2%=0. 172*175000

Dyt:
I add money too
And I think one out of 3 women do that or most have done it


The only thing I condemn is her being rude to you
But then how did you approach her

There's always a man involved when a woman goes crazy

And why in God's name will you women inflate prices? Don't you see it as a way of showing dishonesty to your spouse and dilute the level of trust he has for you? Is that Norm normal or is just a way of showing lack of content?
Hmmm... women and Money are like... abeg someone should add that Jacob zuma's pix for me

skypeme:
Dear reasonable people on Nairaland, please I need your advise

My wife whom I love so much and also loves me too is entitled to 17.2% of my monthly income, my salary is 175kpm and she take 17.2% of this amount, yet she feels very uncomfortable with it

I pay the bills, buy food stuff every month and take care of our little baby girl

My baby girl does not take any local food, she takes only fresogold, tea and pap, the cost of fresogold is very high and she can consume 4tins in a month

My wife isn't not working yet she is still schooling and I pay all her fees,

I've never complaint of my duty as the head of the family yet she still feels unsatisfied with the 17.2% I give to her

Her primary duty in the house is to take care of our baby and prepare my dinner every week days and both break fast and dinner during the weekend

Recently I told her to take our baby to the hospital for treatment, our total bill was 11,500 naira but my wife suprisinly told me that the hospital bill is 22,700 naira which I immediately wired to her account

So I called the hospital to make inquiries about the exorbitant bill then I got to know that my wife inflated the hospital bill to 22,700 naira

I confronted her and she spoke to me very rudly I was not happy about this, I kept quite and didn't say anything about it again

I am thinking I should penalize her for her rude behaviour and the dishonesty she has melted on me

Will it be advisable not to pay her her monthly salary for two months ?

Will this correct her brain to default and what would possibly be the implication of doing this ?

She has not apologised and she has not seen anything wrong so far in what she has done

Suspend her allawee for a month, let her no you're punishing her for not apologising. If u don't, she'll take u for granted n will even refuse spending her money when she starts working

skypeme:


She isn't cheating on me and my marriage will not break IJN

Amen. But pray and try and sit her down to really know why she did that. From her response then u can know what the problem is

Pieromania:
Bro sori to tel u this,bt u are on a long thing.I see that marriage breaking anytime soon......why on earth wil a man pay his wife salary,what is the rationale behind such absurdity is what i can't fathom out?A STUDENT for that matter,u pay all bills,pay her fees and yet pay her salary.Very soon she wil start cheating on u,if not already started it.
Sori bro,ur case is different

I don't see anything wrong in what the OP did. She's just being carlous and greedy ni. She's a woman and will need some money for upkeeps so the need for the "salary"! Any woman that shows lack of content is doom for destruction. Its unfortunate that good ones always come in contact with the bad ones. Give such woman 1m, she will never be satisfied because she derives satisfaction in living above her means.