Hi guys, I seriously need your opinion on this matter. Please take your time to go through my story:

I came in contact with this single mother of two kids in my church. This lady has every good character you want in a potential wife. Shes so selfless, God-fearing, down to earth, caring, very matured and willing to die for my love.

So we got really close, talking and started dating, it was then I discovered she had had two kids before, I couldn't believe my ears.
From her explanation, she really had a very rough past. she was dating a guy she really doesn't love.
After having a kid for him, they separated due to some reasons; then 2 years forward the guy came back begging, she agreed and then the second kid came.

Few years going forward, things really got nasty. The guy impregnated two other ladies, making her very depressed and frustrated. So she left him and had since over 7 years now been with the two kids and the guy had since then neglected her her and not even bothered about his kids; mind you, there was never a legal marriage between the two of them.

Now on my own part, I was a virgin when I met her. So she was the one who disvirgined me and we had intimated a couple number of times of course we felt guilty, remorseful and sorry for it cos it was very wrong of us. I really do love her though and she loves me, there were sometimes on three different occasions we had to break up cos I felt I couldn't go ahead with the marriage, but she falls terribly sick in the process and I myself I couldn't handle the feeling cos I always miss her. So we make up again

My pastor doesn't see anything wrong in our getting married but advises we pray really hard about it. Now, I'm quite worried the kind of resistance my family members will put up if I bring that type of lady for marriage cos there this lady ive been dating for years, she happens to be a virgin, so there was nothing intimate. I think I lover her too but not as strong as what I feel for the single mum.
She kind of broke up with me saying she needed time for herself and education, so I let her be. It was in the process I met the single mum. But we are still good friends, we talk, we laugh gist and all.....

I did not bother to read your epistle because your coming here to seek validation shows that you are not matured and responsible enough to make life decisions on your own.


If you are advised to marry and it works out well.
It is for your benefit alone (abi you want to share her with us)
And if it doesn't work out
It is your cross, you will carry it alone.

So please Bros. Search your heart well.
Therein lies your answer.

Rant over

i dey come , make i go toast single mother come

Op,the three questions you asked at the end of your narrative essay be like JAMB,WAEC,NECO,GCE put together...

Two kids already?op use ur fuvking brain,u dont need any advice.

CuteJude:
i dey come , make i go toast single mother come

U no get sense

I'd advice you to taste from another pot first so you don't grow old having fückd just one hole. As for the kids it doesn't matter as long as they are free with you and like you and vice versa. But you need to plant ur very own seed asap!
But come o..HOD in ur church and she dey straff like that..which church be dat abeg

BasketballGURU:
She's an H.O.D in church, yet she's so "loose"

So rueful

All Hail Saint Michael.
Geeeet out of here.

HOD, headmaster, choirmaster, apostle etc na them dey fvck pass

See question. You dey look for person to blame when the going gets tough.

Don't worry. Marry her you hear? Good boy. Just that the guy will come back and beg again and he'd put his third child in her. Or better still if you impregnate her, he'd help you top it so the child looks like you from the waist up and him, from the waist down. Yeye boy. Asking for opinion at 30.

Well OP, Better think with your head.

Do you have a good Job?

How long have you know her?

Are you ready to take care of those two kids?

Remember, these are not your children. But by the time you make her your wife, those kids becomes yours. With that, when you popped out your own kids, you now have a crowd. Are you financially equip to handle that?

Sure, right now, the idea of marriage is melody to your ears but in the long run when you settle down, you might end up regretting.

Hmmmm, bro Nelson so you have been eaten the forbidden fruit of that ur HOd sister since last year. RCCG, joseph's Court Parish oshodi must hear this

I tell you she's not what you think, things just got a little out of control than she and myself can handle. And we really felt guilty, remorseful and sorry for it.

Life is what u make out of it.

Marriage is not how far but how well u can tolerate each others short comings regardless of what the future holds.

There is no difference in marrying a virgin and non-virgin cos both of them are woman and they have their womanly traits though at different levels. What matters is the person u choose to spend the rest of ur life with and accept to take full responsibility the outcome after tying the knot.

You might go for a virgin and ur life become worse for it and vice versa.

But from my own point of view, i always say this, marry the person that cannot live without u and discard the one that u can live without. This is because u can tell when she truly loves u deeply from her actions, but u cannot know whether the one u love truly loves u back the way u did.

Why i said this, is that, u can always get best out of the one that cannot live without u, by her conforming to ur wants as she will do everything possible to keep u to herself. Based on what u stated, she already has two kids, thus she has a very slim chance of getting another single guy like u if u break up with her. Also with the current epidermic of "husbandless" single girls in the society, trust me she can get direct admission in 3rd mainland bridge if u decide to ditch her.

The ball is in ur court... Despite all i said, its still does not guarantee that she will give u a blissful life when u marry her, as animals cannot stop to exhibit their animalistic instinct so does a woman will never fail to exhibit their commotion traits.

Thats my 10 kobo.

God knows best...

Op don't do it. All the charade you are seeing now is because she isn't married. Women can lie and pretend a lot and she will change once you marry her and she's already emotionally superior to you that's a very huge red flag. If you love yourself and your life run away fast.

Op, you've so much tried to exercise your writing prowess. I see its good cos that's all I can read here.
Oh! Your seek for advice I think I came across that too but at 30! You need to wake up from that lustful slumber which has eaten deep into your kidney.

An Hod in church can't control when to make love resulting to kids and still having an intensive fvcking practicals with you. Only small Mouth Action which I believe she gave to you marriage from nowhere begin hungry you.

Op, close your eyes let's pray. We join fully rebuked every spirit of first time straffing, Mouth Action, and unconditional brain turbulence manipulating your adulthood to come to end.

Go look the mirror and repeat the question, I'm sure now you'll get the answers.

We are in the days where deceit is celebrated and truth is scorned...

Imagine that the lady had aborted the pregnancies of those children, most of the folks talking above would have fallen head over heels with her...not knowing her past. But since she chose to live with the consequences of her actions...we jump to call her names...even though we might be worse than her.

OP, if your story is true, I pity that you came to NL to seek for opinions...you must be blaming yourself for that already.

My own opinion about single mums, I prefer a lady who is open with her past...a lady who chose to face the consequences of her actions than the one who had covered adultery and fornication with blue cold blood murder.

ebujany:
Hmmmm, bro Nelson so you have been eaten the forbidden fruit of that ur HOd sister since last year. RCCG, joseph's Court Parish oshodi must hear this

lool, you are wrong my dear....nd even if dat is my church, U are very wrong to have broadcasted it here cos i know
u might be a member there. Implicating the whole church and yourself. Be guided please!!

Emhicee:
Don't worry. Marry her you hear? Good boy. Just that that guy will come back and beg again and he's put his thirdd child in her. Or better still if you impregnate her, he'd help you top it so the child looks like you from the waist up and him, fom the waist down. Yeye boy. Asking for opinion at 30.

you be wary....lol...hahahahha

But where is lalasticlala sef

You're on your own

This story smacks of utter stupidity

"I was a virgin when I met her. So she was the one who disvirgined me and we had intimated a couple number of times"......did this happened before she told you she already had two kids or after?

Haai

Shes so selfless, God-fearing, down to earth, caring, very matured yet she is so loose to ve 2kids out of wedlock abi God-fearing no dey reach the pant region..

Dude carry on with what rocks ur boat afterall Loff is blind.

Y ask us? Aren't u a grown up guy? . Pls make ur own decisions n take responsibility for dem n quit dis bull crap of seeking online validation. Abi when u de chop kitten, u call us?

well... what can i say.
you only love her because she has given you the thing.