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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Marry and Grow In Love Or Marry The Person You Love, Which One Is Better? (27406 Views)
What Keeps A Marriage Together - Love Or Respect? / I Told My Female Friend That I Found Who To Marry And She's Now Angry With Me. / I'm About Losing The Man I Love And Being Pressured To Marry The One I Never Did (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Marry and Grow In Love Or Marry The Person You Love, Which One Is Better? by peckebu(f): 3:20pm On Jul 23, 2017 |
Trueigbo:I don't usually think our fore fathers crew in love I think they just got used to each other. its better to grow in love 1 Like |
Re: Marry and Grow In Love Or Marry The Person You Love, Which One Is Better? by roysam(m): 3:22pm On Jul 23, 2017 |
BleSSedMee: Mutual respect is what keeps marriage going, because during the course of living together you are going to discover so many quirks about each other. 4 Likes |
Re: Marry and Grow In Love Or Marry The Person You Love, Which One Is Better? by ssuccess(m): 3:26pm On Jul 23, 2017 |
Trueigbo: Why should divorce be taboo, if the marriage can't go forward together, it SHOULD SEPARATELY! Let's change our views towards MARRIAGE. It's not do or die! If it's abusive, and you've TRIED to repair it, yet it still doesn't work, LEAVE! 2 Likes |
Re: Marry and Grow In Love Or Marry The Person You Love, Which One Is Better? by Kingpinukecy(m): 3:28pm On Jul 23, 2017 |
i prefer marry and grow in love 1 Like |
Re: Marry and Grow In Love Or Marry The Person You Love, Which One Is Better? by danilmo: 3:30pm On Jul 23, 2017 |
BleSSedMee:wow..intelligent though....the 1st time am seeing something else be4 love .... |
Re: Marry and Grow In Love Or Marry The Person You Love, Which One Is Better? by fumiswtpusy(f): 3:30pm On Jul 23, 2017 |
Why. Marriages of the old days worked. Was that they understood some things better than us.for example people never realy change,they just slow down for a while.once a prostitute or a thief sooner or later will bounce back to their normal self becuase it is a habit and we all know habit die hard. What they did. In igbo land for example,if emeka wants to get married to amaka,the family will trace amakas origin,what sort of a person is she,is she a. Flirt,what kind of a family is she from.once they get the answer to these they either go ahead or stop totally. The implication. Like I stated before,habits makes us or breaks us,so if you already have a good girl that is understanding,not a flirt. Or to your taste making her fall in love would be your task and if she does that is final because you already do know what she can do or not. My advice. Before you marry any man or woman trace them and make sure you realy know them.for example there are some women who have flirting in their blood if you are serious to marry them,they can manage and hold themselves for a while but later their ashawoo lifestyle will burst out again and same applies to men.i could do on and on but let me stop here as I am not the op. Please adebowale89 stop tripping for me I am a bad girl,i will break your heart. |
Re: Marry and Grow In Love Or Marry The Person You Love, Which One Is Better? by Nobody: 3:31pm On Jul 23, 2017 |
peckebu:our fore fathers did not grow in any love. That is why some of them have plenty wives. Numerous children they were not responsible for. The ones that stuck to a woman can be said to have truly loved the women. A man has got to show a woman love before she can reciprocate the love... if she's willing to and feels the man shares his values. What kept women in ploygamous marriages in the past is male dominance. A situation where the woman is seen as a subject and does not have a choice. Now, we have what people refer to as feminism and have misunderstood this concept. In my understanding, I think every individual should have their fair rights and not that every being is equal. So therefore, a woman should have the right to marry the man she wishes to and not the one she does not. If a woman can keep the right values and lucky to find the right man who can show her love. She will be happy in her marriage. I don't believe you grow in love in marriage. I believe you build upon the love you already share together in marriage. I make my opinions from my own experiences tho, I have been with in and out of relationships and I can count the ones I truly love. Thing is, I cant even how my life would have turned out to be with some. Imagine if I married one. It would be hell of the marriage. 1 Like |
Re: Marry and Grow In Love Or Marry The Person You Love, Which One Is Better? by amikolz(m): 3:33pm On Jul 23, 2017 |
MediumStout: |
Re: Marry and Grow In Love Or Marry The Person You Love, Which One Is Better? by Nobody: 3:33pm On Jul 23, 2017 |
BleSSedMee: omo na money sure pass be that cause money commands respect. |
Re: Marry and Grow In Love Or Marry The Person You Love, Which One Is Better? by plaetton: 3:35pm On Jul 23, 2017 |
majekdom2:Lol. Let's not get religious here, otherwise I might have to show you a thing or two about god's Love. Now, back to the issue. Firstly, no one is talking about marrying god, so god and his love is not the issue here. After all, gods love is supposed to be comparable with a parent-child love, a different kind of love than what we are discussing on this thread. My point is that people conflate the lusts and hormonal activity between a man and a woman with love. The truer love is the one that is seeded, watered, grows and matures with time. It could only get better with time. The other type, the type where we are quick toconvince ourselves that we are in love, inevitably withers with time. |
Re: Marry and Grow In Love Or Marry The Person You Love, Which One Is Better? by Nobody: 3:35pm On Jul 23, 2017 |
ssuccess:exactly, the woman endures because it's some taboo. It's a mental thing.. so they are said to have worked and that they "grew" in love when truly the woman went trough tortue. 1 Like |
Re: Marry and Grow In Love Or Marry The Person You Love, Which One Is Better? by Nobody: 3:36pm On Jul 23, 2017 |
majekdom2: One thing I notice in marriage and in keeping a lasting union. Both couples or intending couples should take themselves as best of friends. Love is a fond feeling that grows or glows in one's heart or being towards another. Even as at that? If both parties are not patient, truthful, sincere and caring to each other and have a listening ear. Such relationship or marriage will. Not last long. No matter how much anyone claims to love each other. Close friends that are dear to my heart, I can go through any length for them. Friends whom after may years, split up due to a quarrel? Had it coming between them. Either one of the friends have been dying to do away with the other, through those fake years of friendship and an opportunity came and he or she seized such opportunity and called it quits between the two of them. Marrying someone am in love with has never worked for me. It always end in heartbreak. Because one is in love than the other, she keeps forgiving his mistakes until she can forgive no more, and all she wants is to keep away from such person so she can live again. Some guys when the lady is more in love, they take advantage and always do stupid things, saying she will forgive me, but a time comes her forgiving heart is already dried up. No more . If only some human beings can be unselfish and allow their conscience work. Marriage, relationships would have lasted for years. 2 Likes |
Re: Marry and Grow In Love Or Marry The Person You Love, Which One Is Better? by Nobody: 3:37pm On Jul 23, 2017 |
Re: Marry and Grow In Love Or Marry The Person You Love, Which One Is Better? by Nobody: 3:39pm On Jul 23, 2017 |
plaetton:I referred to God because we have his nature. I wasn't trying to get religious. @ bolded, what I want you to understand is what you refer to @ love in the bolded is LUST/ Psuedo Love. It is different from True love. |
Re: Marry and Grow In Love Or Marry The Person You Love, Which One Is Better? by higgs: 3:43pm On Jul 23, 2017 |
Most of us over romanticize the old times.Our parents had polygamous marriages,their time was a more conservative period,many of them were unhappy in their marriages but chose to remain because of what people will say. Also,there was no social media,so news of divorce and marital strife could not be widely disseminated. 2 Likes |
Re: Marry and Grow In Love Or Marry The Person You Love, Which One Is Better? by adajoe555: 3:44pm On Jul 23, 2017 |
Marry the person I love and that love me too |
Re: Marry and Grow In Love Or Marry The Person You Love, Which One Is Better? by dirtyhokage(m): 3:44pm On Jul 23, 2017 |
Marry the person you love or marry the person you don't love! Which one is grow in love again? |
Re: Marry and Grow In Love Or Marry The Person You Love, Which One Is Better? by Humility017(m): 3:48pm On Jul 23, 2017 |
alexialin:you welcome dear.... 1 Like |
Re: Marry and Grow In Love Or Marry The Person You Love, Which One Is Better? by Nobody: 3:49pm On Jul 23, 2017 |
alexialin:great! You are talking from a lady's perspective that may not have experienced true love as it were. If you read through my post, you will see I said it clearly, it's the responsibility of a man to first show his love. Thats how We have been created. A man shows his love. Sadly, many ladies tend to love a man who does not truly love them, close their eyes to see when someone who truly loves them comes around. They have allowed their feelings overide their judgment skills. No matter how a lady tries, if a man does not love you, he can never. On the other hand, many men are in lust because of physical attributes of the lady. Hence, when they see some other they can't stay any longer. I am not saying beauty isn't necessary. Love itself is not selfish. Like I do tell people, get into relationships because you want to make the other person a better human and not what you want to get from that relationship, that way you will see the other party as a complement. 1 Like |
Re: Marry and Grow In Love Or Marry The Person You Love, Which One Is Better? by Nobody: 3:53pm On Jul 23, 2017 |
Trueigbo: Luv is a Figment of our imagination. 1 Like |
Re: Marry and Grow In Love Or Marry The Person You Love, Which One Is Better? by Nobody: 3:55pm On Jul 23, 2017 |
majekdom2: That's true ![]() So true. Sincerely have not experienced true love from a guy sha. It's always the physical attributes they are attracted to. The person inside the pretty body doesn't matter. If I were a female robot? Wow! That would have been perfect! ![]() Human beings sef! ![]() But if both parties can think this way? Be totally sincere with each other during getting to know each other? Marriage will be blissful . 2 Likes |
Re: Marry and Grow In Love Or Marry The Person You Love, Which One Is Better? by Empredboy(m): 3:57pm On Jul 23, 2017 |
Benita27:what about if he doesn't love you back ? |
Re: Marry and Grow In Love Or Marry The Person You Love, Which One Is Better? by plaetton: 3:58pm On Jul 23, 2017 |
majekdom2:Again , I don't disagree with you. The love, for example that I have for my mother, my sisters and my children are pure , unconditional Love. In this love, I don't need or expect constant assurances and nourishment to fuel or keep it burning. The love I have for a mate or wife is different. That one is conditional, whether we admit it or not. It needs constant revalidation and nourishment, re-evaluations, etc, as well as being jealous, possessive and vulnerable to mutual suspicions. These are the reasons why it hardly stands the tests of TIME. 4 Likes |
Re: Marry and Grow In Love Or Marry The Person You Love, Which One Is Better? by clemmonce(m): 4:01pm On Jul 23, 2017 |
Trueigbo:marry a person you love and grow in more love. Love is a seed it grows. So when you love someone be ready to nurture it so it can grow. Dont marry someone you don't love hoping to learn to love the person later on. it is too huge a risk.... it is not worth it. 1 Like |
Re: Marry and Grow In Love Or Marry The Person You Love, Which One Is Better? by SLOVFO(m): 4:04pm On Jul 23, 2017 |
The question is, what is love? Love isn't romance nor lust. Love isn't just a feeling as many of us believe. Love rather is a decision to do good and be benevolent towards others. Love is sacrificial. You should marry the one you definitely love. But you must get your understanding of the word "love" right, first. 2 Likes |
Re: Marry and Grow In Love Or Marry The Person You Love, Which One Is Better? by Nobody: 4:05pm On Jul 23, 2017 |
plaetton:@ first bolded, wait till your sister offends you or does something unimaginable. @ second bolded, how can you give "unconditional love" to your children and give "conditional love" to a woman that brought them forth.. Thats strange in my thoughts.. You can only love your kids as much as you love their mothers. 1 Like |
Re: Marry and Grow In Love Or Marry The Person You Love, Which One Is Better? by Emusan(m): 4:05pm On Jul 23, 2017 |
Trueigbo: Just like @MediumStout stated, majority don't even understand the meaning of love. Someone said and I quote "Love is the most overused word in the English Language, it's what we say when we need something or want something, you're guilty of it just like everyone else." So the reason while our forefathers' marriage last long is because they have the genuine love even to a stranger not to talk of people who closed to them. So if you can LOVE people genuinely irrespective of their physical look, ethnicity, color or status without anything attached to it, then it will be very easy for you to cope with your spouse and maintain your marriage. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Marry and Grow In Love Or Marry The Person You Love, Which One Is Better? by OwoLee(m): 4:05pm On Jul 23, 2017 |
BleSSedMee: am forced to pray for you...you made a lot of sense...may God provide you your heart desire and if you have gotten that, I pray it last and always find happiness in it...aameen!!! |
Re: Marry and Grow In Love Or Marry The Person You Love, Which One Is Better? by Nobody: 4:07pm On Jul 23, 2017 |
clemmonce: |
Re: Marry and Grow In Love Or Marry The Person You Love, Which One Is Better? by beautifulrosa: 4:11pm On Jul 23, 2017 |
When i met my man i didnt feel any love for him. Not even the "tiniest feeling". Infact i was always looking for a way to stop talking to him. His prescence alone annoyed me. Oh he didnt get anything right! His speech was not right, his dressing and even the way he ate annoyed me. ![]() But he was my kind of man. He was tall, dark, handsome and well educated jus d way i wanted, yet i cudnt bring myself to love him. One day i decided to jus pretend and give him a chance.....that was when i knew he was God sent. My eyes were open and i could see how really blessed i was to have a man like him. Several months after i dunno how it happened but trust me, now i am crazily in love with him (though he is not aware ![]() Its not always easy to marry someone you dont love at first thinking the love will grow with time. It doesnt mean the relationship will not last. Neither does loving someone at first sight guarantee a fulfiling relationship. But with my experience, growing in love is better and long lasting. 5 Likes |
Re: Marry and Grow In Love Or Marry The Person You Love, Which One Is Better? by goingape1: 4:13pm On Jul 23, 2017 |
Trueigbo:DONT MARRY A NAIJA WOMAN! that's ALL I CAN SAY! |
Re: Marry and Grow In Love Or Marry The Person You Love, Which One Is Better? by uniqueogo(f): 4:14pm On Jul 23, 2017 |
a wise man once said INFATUATION is what u SEE, PASSION is what u FEEL, LOVE is what you KNOW....... some who feel passion for each other think they are in love and when the passion dies, they can't tolerate each other any longer, that's what leads to failed marriages what ever u feel for someone at first sight or two months later is called sexual attraction or passion. main point is u can't love someone you don't know 2 Likes |
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