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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / How My Husband Turned Me To A Porn Addict (22777 Views)
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How My Husband Turned Me To A Porn Addict by Brokenangel2: 1:14am On Aug 13, 2017 |
It's almost 12 midnight and I heard the door to the sitting room open. He walked in and of course slumps into one of the sofa where he'll sleep till tomorrow. It's either the sitting room or the children's room. This life... .. .. I was barely 23yrs old when we got married and he's few years older. I actually thought he was all over me, now I look back and believe all that was pretence. Where have I gone wrong? I love this guy in a manner that makes me doubt my own sanity. Yes.. . I doubt if all is well with my brain. It amazes me why I still put up with a man who doesn't deserve even a prostitute. A man who has no regard for me, not even an iota of it. A man who thinks he is alpha and omega. I literally adores him, even after two kids in our marriage I break necks when I walk the streets. I am neater and sexier than most single ladies out there. I respect him, I'm a good cook, educated, brilliant, smart and beautiful. Nobody who knows me will believe I'm passing through hell in the hands of a man I love with all my heart. This life... It's damn funny how even my female friends jokingly ask me if my hubby let's me sleep at night. Who will believe me that we've been intimate just twice thrice this year. Those were even in the early months. This is not the first time he is depriving me of intimacy for months. It's just that for the first time... I'm seeing possibilities of me having an affair. Did I just say that? *sobs* Me of all women? The one who prides in her fidelity as a married woman? The same woman who brags that even at gunpoint, no other man will have his way? The same woman who says even for a trillion pounds? Hahaha this life is really unfair. The once virtuous woman now stays up late into the night watching pornographic films while masturbating. How I feel like stabbing myself to death each time. The guilt on my face when I look at my innocent kids sleeping peacefully on my matrimonial bed which I now share with them. My husband is now my flatmate. Now that God has taken us to a height of relaxation, he chose to spite me. I've tried all I can to breach the gap between us but to no avail. I've been the one begging for affection and even sex. To hell with sex, I can do without it for years but God knows lack of affection will be my death. I keep telling him that he'll look back one day and regret all of this, it's one thing I'm sure of. I didn't force myself on him to marry me. I didn't tie him with any pregnancy. Why me of all people? I love my kids more than life itself, a thousand times I've made up my mind to walk out. I'm not scared of facing life without him, he knows I'm a legit hustler who can place food on the table for myself and the kids. I'm more scared of becoming everything I swore never to be. I'm more scared of even killing him, myself or the kids out of depression one day. I'm so confused, I'm a shadow of myself. I'm breaking each passing day. I'm loosing hope each passing day. The worst of it is that he doesn't believe in communication. He just won't let that happen. How do I let him know he is slowly rewriting all the plans we had for ourselves and the kids? How do I let him know these kids we both adore will suffer most anyday I lose grip and decide to let go? How do I let him know that I wake up some nights, walk over to where he is sleeping, stare at him with so much anguish, pain and tears... While fighting back the urge to just stab him to death. How do I let him know that the true love I have for him is gradually turning into pure hatred? How do I let him know that I'm not sure of the next thing I might do? How do I open his eyes to see what those strange women have succeeded in doing to us? No ooooo I refuse to join you in the madness, adultery is one sin I've sworn NEVER to commit. I'll take a walk. I don't even know if I'm making sense at all but my chest is sooooooo heavy tonight. 15 Likes |
Re: How My Husband Turned Me To A Porn Addict by gabinogem(m): 1:25am On Aug 13, 2017 |
Na novel be this abi na true life ![]() 16 Likes |
Re: How My Husband Turned Me To A Porn Addict by BLACKdagger: 1:52am On Aug 13, 2017 |
Nawao |
Re: How My Husband Turned Me To A Porn Addict by Nobody: 2:30am On Aug 13, 2017 |
Brokenangel2: This is similar to my marriage except I'm no longer interested in my husband sexually. The lack of good quality sex turned me away from him. We are just good friends. However I don't like porn. I need the real thing. So I will just meet a nice guy and go from there. Please don't kill anyone. It's better to leave or have an affair. 26 Likes |
Re: How My Husband Turned Me To A Porn Addict by dingbang(m): 2:54am On Aug 13, 2017 |
Prayers prayers prayers. Go to Jesus in the blessed sacrament and begin to cry just like Hannah did. 17 Likes 1 Share |
Re: How My Husband Turned Me To A Porn Addict by mazimee(m): 2:59am On Aug 13, 2017 |
To get married done dey fear me ![]() 16 Likes |
Re: How My Husband Turned Me To A Porn Addict by 0b100100111: 3:06am On Aug 13, 2017 |
dingbang: Sigh...... 7 Likes 1 Share |
Re: How My Husband Turned Me To A Porn Addict by BlakKluKluxKlan(m): 3:22am On Aug 13, 2017 |
gabinogem: No it's not. Such situations are very many in the society of today. The scerene outlook many homes portray to the outside world is a direct opposite of what obtains internally. Many homes are actually on fire. I know this due to my vocation. While many nigerian men in America are killing their nigerian wives out of frustration, the opposite is the case back home in Nigeria. But rather than commit murder or adultery that may backfire, it is better to call it quits. 6 Likes |
Re: How My Husband Turned Me To A Porn Addict by BlackDBagba: 5:08am On Aug 13, 2017 |
You won't even begin to believe how many marriages are going through the exact same thing. You are strong. To even pen this down. You won't kill him. You'll find a passion and get on with your life. Another option, walk out with your kids but do you have enough support on the outside? Don't go jumping from 'frying pan into fire'. You know what's truly best for you. You wear the shoe.... God speed / guidance. 11 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: How My Husband Turned Me To A Porn Addict by Penalty82(m): 5:48am On Aug 13, 2017 |
FortuneTeller: Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled:but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: 16 Likes |
Re: How My Husband Turned Me To A Porn Addict by zoaroster: 5:49am On Aug 13, 2017 |
For how long hs this bn on? Do u guys hv mutual friends? If u do, invite them over or discuss with one of them to invite u over on a social visit. Eat, drink get relax nd discuss things in jovial way with ur hosts moderating. Use tht opportunity to lay ur case in subtle but clear manner. Am sure with it will sink in. 2 Likes |
Re: How My Husband Turned Me To A Porn Addict by Penalty82(m): 5:51am On Aug 13, 2017 |
BlackDBagba: 1 Like
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Re: How My Husband Turned Me To A Porn Addict by ebukahandsome(m): 5:56am On Aug 13, 2017 |
Oh God!!!. Some men wicked somehow ooo. I really feel for you swidy . I will remember you in prayers hon 6 Likes |
Re: How My Husband Turned Me To A Porn Addict by konfused: 6:05am On Aug 13, 2017 |
Retrace your steps, when did this start, what was the trigger, has he always been like that? Something must have happened before he started this odd behaviour. Maybe when you get the root cause, you can now tackle the symptoms. I think you guys should plan and go for a vacation together, just the two of you, leave the kids with your parents, all things being equal, the spark might be reignited. Goodluck. 7 Likes |
Re: How My Husband Turned Me To A Porn Addict by sisisioge: 6:07am On Aug 13, 2017 |
FortuneTeller: Baby... I swearit, fear always catch me whenever I read this account from you. Is he so old already? You don't wanna kiss him anymore? What about BJ? They all love it, he would defo do whatever you want if you do that right. Chai! I'm still fearing o. @OP...I am hands-tied. Don't know what to say. But that guy is sure having plenty of fun outside. Whew! 10 Likes |
Re: How My Husband Turned Me To A Porn Addict by konfused: 6:09am On Aug 13, 2017 |
FortuneTeller: Nnem. onweghi uru di na isi azu, consider all ramifications before you decide to cross that red line. It might seem as the easy way out, but believe me, no good will come out of it at the end. Think of your kids, think of your family, then think of your reputation. All things being equal, there is nothing that cannot be fixed..... 8 Likes |
Re: How My Husband Turned Me To A Porn Addict by tunde82seidat(f): 6:43am On Aug 13, 2017 |
Oga o.this marriage tin just dey fear person.u hardly hear any good stories from marriages this days. 1 Like |
Re: How My Husband Turned Me To A Porn Addict by MrPresident1: 7:03am On Aug 13, 2017 |
Brokenangel2: All will be well ![]() All will be well ![]() 3 Likes |
Re: How My Husband Turned Me To A Porn Addict by Nutase: 7:06am On Aug 13, 2017 |
Marriage is wide. ![]() |
Re: How My Husband Turned Me To A Porn Addict by Brokenangel2: 7:21am On Aug 13, 2017 |
I just came back to see if anyone took out time to drop a word or two for me. I really appreciate your inputs. Prayers? I'm ashamed to say I'm tired of praying. We don't even have our morning devotions again. I'm even afraid that this atmosphere is unhealthy for my kids. I don't even feel like going to church today, though my beautiful new dress was ironed yesterday. I'm just tired of smiling outside when I'm actually dying inside. I wish this is a dream or novel. That's my life ooo, last night I felt like ending it all, this morning I feel like holding on whether he shows me affection or not. Loneliness is my best friend. You know what? I'll appreciate it if you all share this story on every social platform you know, especially Facebook. He's active there, he will read it somehow. He will know I wrote this, he just knows how I can pen down my feelings. God bless you all. 11 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: How My Husband Turned Me To A Porn Addict by KingEbukasBlog(m): 7:41am On Aug 13, 2017 |
Brokenangel2: I think there's more to this story you posted here. But you've failed to tell us what led to the present situation in your marriage . A man cannot just grow to neglect his wife sexually or affectionately. I think the solution would be found if thou knoweth the cause or possible causes . But it's okay if you wana keep that private . No qualms. But know this : Kvetching yields no solution Crying yields no solution Action does Faith is simply work . Start doing something and watch how faith expedites the transformation . Be ready to accept the blame if need be . Most people still face difficult problems because they have bluntly refused to accept the blame and work towards a solution. It's natural to play the victim to obtain sympathy or support from the public , but that's all you gona get . Be ready to try new things to save your marriage . Don't think you've done it all , accept failure in the face of possibilities and youve lost and lost forever. Please ignore anyone who tries to force you into a false dilemma : walk away or commit adultery . Remain blessed ! 21 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: How My Husband Turned Me To A Porn Addict by Brokenangel2: 7:48am On Aug 13, 2017 |
KingEbukasBlog:How do you know if there's anything you did, when he insist you've done nothing? Pity from public? Public that don't even know me in real life? No I don't seek that. I just felt like lifting the pains off my chest a little. For the records, what I wrote here is a tip of the iceberg. I'm not saying I'm an angel.. . But if God decides to judge I and him, he'll die before the end of today because he has done abominable things to me. 8 Likes |
Re: How My Husband Turned Me To A Porn Addict by Connoisseur(m): 7:50am On Aug 13, 2017 |
Brokenangel2: Now I believe this is for real. Sadly, your story is not an isolated case. It cuts across both sides. It's a situation that has to be handled delicately. You mentioned he's not the type that loves communication, but that's the only solution there is. Can you get the kids away for a couple of nights, I believe they are on holidays at the moment. Find a legitimate reason to get them to their granny's or anywhere safe. Get him relaxed and gently but firmly outline your feelings to him, do not hold anything back. Sometimes you'd have to break something to be able to fix it. It's a fight to save your marriage. I have never believed that whatever a couple couldn't solve on their own can be solved by any outsider. They could pretend to be but the only solution has to come from the both of them. If this fails, start making plans for life with your kids without your husband. This is because he would definitely leave once he musters the courage and you shouldn't be caught unawares. My opinion 27 Likes 1 Share |
Re: How My Husband Turned Me To A Porn Addict by graceberry: 8:02am On Aug 13, 2017 |
Brokenangel2: Hello my dear,, tears came rushing out of my eye as i read ur store, marriage in this our time has become war which we all women has to fight and win.. strange women.. hmmm .... side chick, i place curse on all of this who are bent on destroying a beautiful marrige.. I believe you must have been seeing some sign before all this escalates. But you dint bother to address it on time. Same thing almost happened to me but once i noticed a slight change i prayed to God to revealed all hidden secret and also i went on checking his phone and i found out it was even an Edo lady,, Am happy my husband has come back to his senses after i confronted him with evidences and dont forget men will always be men That is why i still insist on all married women to always snoop into thier thier husbands phone and see what is happening with then before it is too late.. because i still do it till today Some people may say i want to give myself Hypertension, fine it better i give my self small Hypertension and addresses the issue early than ignoring the signs and end up having biggest hypertension also if you have not been giving him enough respect pls start doing that because men loves it so much, just be humble to him and see him change i promise you that anybody can change for good Jesus help us My dear with prayer all thing are possible So my dear you re to blame you actually ignored all those sign and now it has become worse Please go on ur kneel m fast and pray to God, and you will see how he shall turn it around fir you I suggest you start watching chnnel 390 on dstv and see lot of story like urs changed for the best, go to synagogue Church of all nation and tell God ,,, prayer answer May God helpnyou re build your home and please dont kill him ooooo,u will end up regretting that Prayer is the key Also if you need someone to talk to send me a mail 16 Likes |
Re: How My Husband Turned Me To A Porn Addict by graceberry: 8:09am On Aug 13, 2017 |
Brokenangel2:dear pls take it easy I know and can feel ur pain Pls email me Pls dont do anything you will regret for the rest of ur life Pls think of ur kids Everywomen has a story to tell You re not alone I beg you. Just come back to your senses pleasee Your kid needs thier mummy 3 Likes |
Re: How My Husband Turned Me To A Porn Addict by MizzD: 8:34am On Aug 13, 2017 |
Women have too much to give in marriage and this really bothers me. The moment you get married, you get pressured into having kids. You successfully achieve that, you worry about nurturing them, sometimes career sacrifices are made for these kids. You endure sleepless nights to nuture these kids, and while sacrificing it all, you have to worry about getting your body (Tommy, vagina, what have you) back in shape to prevent your husband from straying. You worry about picking up your career or academics where you left it. If you're unable to bear kids or choose to delay a little to focus more on your career, you are also at a risk of losing this man to aspiring baby mamas or crazy exes. You are also expected to bring something to the table hustle with the man, while you perform all wifely duties alongside. Sometimes i think these sacrifices can be so challenging and when a woman is unfortunate to have a husband who doesn't appreciate all that is done to keep it all together, you begin to wonder if it's ever really worth it. Madam Op, the solution to your problem lies between you two. If your husband does not encourage verbal communication, pls write to him. There's no point reaching out to him via social media when you can pen all these frustrations down for him to read too. Except you are being punished for a sin or you married a robot, you should demand and get a response / reaction or whatever and then you take it from there. Be firm and sort things out. Demand answers. Be ready to accept and admit your flaws. Address ALL related and unrelated issues that got you both to this stage and get yourself out of this misery. The outcome of your communication will determine your next line of action. Lastly, if you keep nursing the thoughts of killing anyone, pls stay away from that environment to cool off. We have enough murder cases biko. 23 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: How My Husband Turned Me To A Porn Addict by eyinjuege: 8:38am On Aug 13, 2017 |
There's no need thinking of killing yourself. If you're so unhappy in the union, then leave. Better to leave as a sane woman than stay as one who'll eventually murder her husband or commit suicide. I know before coming online, you've tried all the tricks in the books. It's a pity some people cannot just reciprocate or handle love. Have you tried talking to elderly people or his and your family members to mediate? If that hasnt worked, you need to leave any toxic situation. 5 Likes |
Re: How My Husband Turned Me To A Porn Addict by MrHighSea: 8:42am On Aug 13, 2017 |
graceberry:Smart lady. Keep taking charge. They love respect and being humbled to. YES. You melt our hearts by that. I'M PRETTY SUCH APART FROM YOUR LOOKS, YOUR FOOD AINT BAD EITHER. 3 Likes |
Re: How My Husband Turned Me To A Porn Addict by Sapiosexuality(m): 9:22am On Aug 13, 2017 |
This is sad. Since he won't listen to you try send him this text on his whatsapp or any other social handles he makes use of. I don't understand how a person who wants to build a happy home will loathe conversations. The thought of murder should be off. Any attempt at it will open Pandora's Box. 2 Likes |
Re: How My Husband Turned Me To A Porn Addict by layzie: 9:22am On Aug 13, 2017 |
@ brokenangel2 U need to think backwards to when this behaviour started so u can deduce the trigger. The problem is that you have allowed it continue for so long with out addressing the root cause. A lot of men stop caring when they feel they are not being cared for. That's what the sidechicks have over wives. Do u still make his meals? Do u serve them once he gets home? Simple things like this matter a lot to a man. There are cases of women who would rather continue with zeeworld instead of getting up to meet and serve their husbands once they get home, or go to meet him if he comes in and goes straight to the room. Make your husband the most important item when u r at home. Way forward : He comes back by 12 midnight again, allow him 10mins to settle in then go and meet him there on the couch. Talk to him gently, tell him how much u have missed and want him. If he's in the mood to talk, good for u... Express your pains and ask for a change. He will also give his reasons. If he's in no mood to talk, try initiate intimacy, go on even if he doesn't respond immediately. Lay there with him. Next morning, wake up early and prepare his breakfast. While he's at break fast, ask what he will like for dinner and make it available. Continue this way and add other things u know he likes until he comes around. You will be surprised what timely and enjoyable meals can do to even the most stubborn man. 5 Likes |
Re: How My Husband Turned Me To A Porn Addict by Nobody: 9:23am On Aug 13, 2017 |
sisisioge: If you read my previous thread on this matter, you wouldn't even ask such questions. I've made my peace with the situation and won't kill myself over any man. Happy Sunday. ![]() |
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