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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / How Do You Cope With An Unmarried Sibling. (5591 Views)
Should Marital Advice Be Taken From An Unmarried(single) Person / Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling / How Do You Cope If Married To Someone You Don't Love? (2) (3) (4)
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Re: How Do You Cope With An Unmarried Sibling. by dangotesmummy: 8:04am On Aug 31, 2017 |
loshybab:that's your damn assumption. She has a brain to decide that for herself. She isn't a robot 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: How Do You Cope With An Unmarried Sibling. by dangotesmummy: 8:18am On Aug 31, 2017 |
pcguru1:I'm sure a woman like her with intrusive brothers and parents that can't respect her space would have loved to get an apartment but 1.apartment in some certain cities are expensive like Lagos or abuja 2.even if she has a job its more financially wise to stay with her dad so that she won't be wasting unnecessary money on landlord. That money can be diverted into savings 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: How Do You Cope With An Unmarried Sibling. by dangotesmummy: 8:24am On Aug 31, 2017 |
Daeylar:if she had put all of them in their place, drawn and enforced the limit of their boundaries, they'll have known the kind of nonsense to be discussing with her I don't know what's with Nigerians and giving women unsolicited advise on how to plan or live their lives as if she doesn't have a brain or power of choice again. Its very sickening. The funny thing is that no one can do that to a 29 year old man.if someone raises the marriage question you'll hear other family members say let's not annoy him,let's give him his space he's old enough to know what he wants for himself or what he's doing, but a woman looks like a robot to y'all that you can be making decisions for and be pushing here and there 10 Likes 1 Share |
Re: How Do You Cope With An Unmarried Sibling. by pocohantas(f): 8:32am On Aug 31, 2017 |
OP, your post makes it look like the main problem with her is her single status. If her attitude is really bad, then you people should talk to her without bringing marriage in. That way she is sure you guys are not being sentimental about it, or tying her whole existence to a man... She needs to be changed as an individual, before marriage talk. 5 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: How Do You Cope With An Unmarried Sibling. by dangotesmummy: 8:48am On Aug 31, 2017 |
pocohantas:gbam. Exactly |
Re: How Do You Cope With An Unmarried Sibling. by Dcholeric: 9:01am On Aug 31, 2017 |
dangotesmummy:I was always having problems with my dad while I was living with him. don't come back home 10pm+...cause I would have lock my gate. don't bring girls to my house for sex. don't bring guys and drinks to my house. go get a job and stop depending on me for everything. these are few of why we always quarrel. then he will say I can't risk my whole family by leaving my gate open because you want to stay late night. I can't risk my other children because you want to bring bad boys and drinks to my house which will leave my household vulnerable to theft, bad example, cultism .... you can't bring girls to have sex in my house.. you are not married to any one of them and whatever problem that comes out of it will come to my house first .. he will conclude by saying if you want to live the way you want, please leave my house or if you break any of these rules again and constitute nuisance in my house I will call the police ... and he did call the police a couple of times admist heated arguments.....I was tired of always being the one to quarrel in my house so I obeyed most rules as patiently as I could and I found out I was living peacefully, it also became my habit everywhere I go (having to be more patient and calm), and yes it helped in my relationship with opposite sex. I finally got my own apartment and guess what!...I couldn't misbehave the way would've want to...thanks to my dad....and moreover there is too much responsibility living alone..one can't just keep toying around. she has to obey rules under her fathers house (excluding marital issues) or get her apartment.... if she wants to continue toying with men...posting pics 24/7 on fb, no problem. but if she wants to remain in her fathers house and constitute nuisance by constant quarrelling, then that is highly irresponsible considering her position and age. 1 Like |
Re: How Do You Cope With An Unmarried Sibling. by dangotesmummy: 9:13am On Aug 31, 2017 |
Dcholeric:no I'm not supporting irresponsible behaviours.if there's something wrong with her behavior that should be addressed squarely without bringing the marriage matter up because that would naturally make her revolt and to your dad,he was right. If I were your dad I'll do the same because he's actually protecting his family from danger and protecting you from yourself. He had to apply tough love in your case and moreover if you want to live a life of debauchery you can't be doing that under your parents roof that's very disrespectful. So you mean if your father didn't complain about bringing girls to his house to have sex with them, you'll actually be having sex with them under your father's nose? Really? So if any of your younger siblings walked in on you whilst having sex or drinking won't he say daddy you allowed him to do abcd and you don't want me to do that.these were the issues he was bothered about and it's legitimate. You cannot use his money to misbehave and expose his family to danger Moreover while bringing your friends in what if anyone of them is lusting after your baby sister and he plans and comes a day when nobody is at home to rape her nko? These are the factors likely to happen if your dad let you have your way |
Re: How Do You Cope With An Unmarried Sibling. by Nobody: 9:18am On Aug 31, 2017 |
Dcholeric: I agree with this. |
Re: How Do You Cope With An Unmarried Sibling. by Dcholeric: 9:29am On Aug 31, 2017 |
dangotesmummy:Yes...I believe my dad did what he should have....I have a lot of responsibility now....and I am thinking I will be more harsh than my dad ( in fact that is the case). so we have an agreement.....which is..she should at least (because she is still under her dad) avoid quarrels with her dad and also avoid the actions that will trigger any such quarrels as well......(marital issues are personal...on that issue she should be allowed to make her decision)...but in as much as marital issues are personal to individuals... her learning to live peacefully amidst her family members will definitely help her in all forms of relationship. 1 Like |
Re: How Do You Cope With An Unmarried Sibling. by mrjojo: 9:32am On Aug 31, 2017 |
Dcholeric:well said sir, well said |
Re: How Do You Cope With An Unmarried Sibling. by Nobody: 9:45am On Aug 31, 2017 |
dangotesmummy: Actually I don't see any issue with her apart from her fighting with parents its the guys who have the issues, though when you are under someone's roof you have to abide by some rules which is why I moved out, I wanted to smoke , drink , study and have as much sex as I could and because of the respect for my mother I couldn't do that at home so I got my own apartment. I value space a lot sometimes I just find myself amazed about how spacious and quiet the house is. 1 Like |
Re: How Do You Cope With An Unmarried Sibling. by Viking007(m): 9:47am On Aug 31, 2017 |
Dcholeric: ![]() ![]() |
Re: How Do You Cope With An Unmarried Sibling. by cococandy(f): 5:12pm On Aug 31, 2017 |
loshybab:Hard to believe you're not pained. You sound like that 5 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: How Do You Cope With An Unmarried Sibling. by dangotesmummy: 9:58pm On Aug 31, 2017 |
cococandy:na wa o.see as you don yellow ![]() Your pishore don dey make me wanna bleach and be yellow like you ![]() By the way how's small coco? ![]() |
Re: How Do You Cope With An Unmarried Sibling. by Nobody: 10:04pm On Aug 31, 2017 |
All you should wish for is for your sister to be happy. 3 Likes |
Re: How Do You Cope With An Unmarried Sibling. by EfemenaXY: 10:08pm On Aug 31, 2017 |
1 Like |
Re: How Do You Cope With An Unmarried Sibling. by Nobody: 10:10pm On Aug 31, 2017 |
EfemenaXY: I have been in the state of positive expectation you would show up very soon. ![]() So good to see ya. ![]() ![]() ![]() 1 Like |
Re: How Do You Cope With An Unmarried Sibling. by loshybab(m): 10:13pm On Aug 31, 2017 |
cococandy:It will surely be hard because it's what you assumed. hmmmm! how do you know who's pained? That's simply because you are pained...and if u think I'm as pained as you are,you are on a long thing. |
Re: How Do You Cope With An Unmarried Sibling. by cococandy(f): 10:17pm On Aug 31, 2017 |
loshybab:Lmao. What did you just say? I couldn't understand ![]() 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: How Do You Cope With An Unmarried Sibling. by cococandy(f): 10:18pm On Aug 31, 2017 |
dangotesmummy:I'm not yellow. just chocolate Please don't bleach. Black is gold |
Re: How Do You Cope With An Unmarried Sibling. by Fkforyou(m): 10:22pm On Aug 31, 2017 |
Leave her to her folly jare... ![]() But no matter the rubbish she does, don't tolerate the one that involves her being disrespectful to your parent. Tell her to her face, and don't let her play the age or seniority card on you, she has lost that right. ![]() She is such an irresponsible immature spoilt brat. Once again, don't worry yourself about her and her love life. |
Re: How Do You Cope With An Unmarried Sibling. by loshybab(m): 10:35pm On Aug 31, 2017 |
dangotesmummy:And where is my statement did I say she is a robot? Besides it's not everybody with brain that can use it to make good decisions,if you don't believe me,ask those that commit suicide |
Re: How Do You Cope With An Unmarried Sibling. by loshybab(m): 10:49pm On Aug 31, 2017 |
Daeylar:I can see how you trying hard to make a point.it's people like you that find believe the world would be a better place if you just get impregnated by someone,have your baby and live the baby mama/daddy life. Woman! that's what lower animals do and i expect something better from animals with well developed brain, which i should believe you are one. But then,your comment makes me doubt that. 1 Like |
Re: How Do You Cope With An Unmarried Sibling. by Daeylar(f): 11:43pm On Aug 31, 2017 |
loshybab: Still being foolish and still so arrogant in your foolishness I hope you get help soon 6 Likes 1 Share |
Re: How Do You Cope With An Unmarried Sibling. by eyinjuege: 8:39am On Sep 01, 2017 |
Ok, try to see things through the eyes of your sister She had a long term 5 year relationship, which didn't lead anywhere, and the guy probably married soon after (possibly double dating) Has she gotten over that hurt? Do you know how that has affected her? What have you done as a concerned brother to help her get over it? Yet you expect her to easily fall for any guy, and you feel she's toying with them? She can't trust anyone for now, and has possibly not healed/ not ready for another relationahip. And don't tell me it's because of her attitude. How many guys will stay with a girl with a really bad attitude for 5 years? If that has always been her attitude, it would have been obvious from the start even to you, her brother. There's nothing wrong in posting on Facebook, maybe that makes her happy, and keeps her mind away from thinking too much. You haven't said she smokes, drinks, parties all night, why then is she always at loggerheads with your dad? ( I'm not going to ask about you because I know you don't want her to control you, and she will want to as she's most likely older than you. and siblings will always be siblings). The only thing you mentioned is that she toys with men. You should understand your sister, that she's suffered a heartbreak. All she needs from her family is support and not more stress or pressure. She will find her feet, sooner or later. 6 Likes 1 Share |
Re: How Do You Cope With An Unmarried Sibling. by dangotesmummy: 4:20pm On Sep 01, 2017 |
loshybab:when you know she's not a robot and she's an adult, leave her to make her decision na.abi ewoni pepefuru 1 Like |
Re: How Do You Cope With An Unmarried Sibling. by dangotesmummy: 4:21pm On Sep 01, 2017 |
cococandy:I'm just joking na.I can't bleach o ![]() 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: How Do You Cope With An Unmarried Sibling. by armyofone(m): 8:07pm On Sep 01, 2017 |
If I were her, I will move out of the family house. She should get her own apartment- enjoy her work life and single status. Rent boyfriend if your parents are in town ![]() She best take her time or ends up with a riff raff. 3 Likes |
Re: How Do You Cope With An Unmarried Sibling. by EfemenaXY: 12:38am On Sep 02, 2017 |
Mindfulness: ![]() ![]() You know I always do. Love your positivity though ![]() ![]() P.S: Remember my procrastination episodes? Turns out I got better than expected yields. The last two were fantastic! ![]() 1 Like |
Re: How Do You Cope With An Unmarried Sibling. by Ishilove: 1:27am On Sep 02, 2017 |
I can't understand why most people don't read between the lines. The OPs tone is that of resentment. His sister is a terror at home and he is wishing she'd just get married and leave the house for them. If her attitude was better, the OP will not be here complaining about his sister's marital status because there are so many older single ladies living with their parents. The long and short of it is his sister's attitude sucks, is giving his parents a headache and he wishes she'd get married and get the hell out of the house for them so they'll peace of mind. |
Re: How Do You Cope With An Unmarried Sibling. by baby124: 7:05am On Sep 02, 2017 |
OP, Your sisters marital status is not your business. What she does with her life is not your business. The pictures she posts on Facebook is not your business. You seem to have a lot of time on your hands to be minding other people's business. Are you jobless? Please engage your mind and go and get married if marriage is what you came to do in life. Leave your sister alone. If she has issues with your parents, they are her parents too. They will resolve it. Get busy and get a life of your own. 2 Likes |
Re: How Do You Cope With An Unmarried Sibling. by Nobody: 8:16am On Sep 02, 2017 |
EfemenaXY: I know but I wanted it to be soon, very soon. ![]() Love your positivity though I love it too. It hasn't always been like that. ![]() P.S: Remember my procrastination episodes? Turns out I got better than expected yields. The last two were fantastic! I do remember ![]() ![]() Congratulations sis! I hope you celebrated it and rewarded yourself? ![]() 1 Like |
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