Good morning wonderful nairalanders.

I Am having a very delicate family issues now. I am an only son of my family and 5 sisters all married, since I brought my wife to be to them they all love her with passion and they keep telling me to take good care of the girl, they keep warning me not to treat her bad.

My sister love my Wife with passion including my aged mother but my wife to be in return hates them openly to me.

She doesn't like me mention them before her or discuss any thing with them. But she adores her family so much. We have finished traditional marriage remaining church wedding which is next two weeks from today.

During our preparations my family has noticed her long mute with them in issues of our wedding arrangement, they ask me but I told them that my wife is a shy type that doesn't talk too much but I was lying.

N/B they have not done anything evil to her and they will not think about it because they all fear me but my confusion Now is why my wife hates them? One of my sister lives in the same city with my wife but she hardly visits her.

My fellow comrades please what do I do? I can't hate my sisters because they and their husbands train me in the university . I came from a poor home but seeing the love I have for education all My sisters and their husbands swear that I must attend university . My God's grace I am working in one of the best organization in the country now am comfortable. Do I chase my family away now because of a woman I am getting married to? Help am confused.

Thanks in anticipation

She is being selfish, Family over everything.




you even have the thought of pursuing your family because of a damn lady? seriously?


Your family have been there for you since from birth and they will still be, What makes you think that the lady loves you more than them.



start thinking with your brain not your d!ck. #no offence

amliftedhigher:
Good morning wonderful nairalanders. Am having a very delicate family issues now. I am an only son of my family and 5 sisters all married, since I brought my wife to be to them they all love her with passion and they keep telling me to take good care of the girl, they keep warning me not to treat her bad. My sister love my Wife with passion including my aged mother but my wife to be in return hates them openly to me. She doesn't like me mention them before her or discuss any thing with them. But she adores her family so much. We have finished traditional marriage remaining church wedding which is next two weeks from today. During our preparations my family has noticed her long mute with them in issues of our wedding arrangement, they ask me but I told them that my wife is a shy type that doesn't talk too much but I was lying. N/B they have not done anything evil to her and they will not think about it because they all fear me but my confusion Now is why my wife hates them? One of my sister lives in the same city with my wife but she hardly visits her. My fellow comrades please what do I do? I can't hate my sisters because they and their husbands train me in the university . I came from a poor home but seeing the love I have for education all My sisters and their husbands swear that I must attend university . My God's grace I am working in one of the best organization in the country now am comfortable. Do I chase my family away now because of a woman I am getting married to? Help am confused. Thanks in anticipation

Now is the time to get it right or never. If you cannot tolerate being ostracized from your family by your wife, better let her know it now. Go to her parents and tell them you will not tolerate such attitude. If it means calling off the wedding, go ahead and do so. If however, you don't mind what happens to your family after you are married, then go ahead with the wedding but don't attack her later or force her to love them or change.
It's now or never.

Why do I have the urge to insult you for your last sentence.
That girl is wicked for hating your family for no reason. Where was your wife when they were training you? Weak men everywhere.

Baba don't be a woman wrapper! Suspend every plan concerning the white wedding Asap!

You must tame that thing immediately!

Just because of one fucken girl, you want to disassociate your self from your family, who does that?

I rather stay single than to please that thing in the house!

Smh

This marriage is so so heading to the rocks.... See massive red flag.

10k bet that this marriage won't get to 1year mark.

Who's betting with me on this?

After all the sacrifice ur family made to see u through school u want a woman from no where to tear u people apart just like that..call for a meeting now and tell her watsup , if she refuses to tell u her mind go and collect back the bride price u paid, because this union is heading for the rocks with the kind of hatred she has for ur family...imagine, they even love her and she's forming ...she's not serious.

Oyindidi:
Why do I have the huge to insult you for your last sentence.
That girl is wicked for hating your family for no reason. Where was your wife when they were training you? Weak men everywhere.

please I was only asking a question. I didn't and will not try to dissociate with my family members?

amliftedhigher:
please I was only asking a question. I didn't and will not try to dissociate with my family members?

That question is somehow offensive. Marriage is a lifetime commitment and a girl is not comfortable with your family members. Call off the wedding if she's not ready to change. There are a thousand and one good and well cultured girls ready for marriage.

coolcatty:
Smh

This marriage is so so heading to the rocks.... See massive red flag.

10k bet that this marriage won't get to 1year mark.

Who's betting with me on this?

Go sleep

This is a clear perspective, ur wife is hating on ur family without no reason, sit her down and have a heart to heart talk with her,let her know all ur worries about d way she is reciprocating the love been shown to her by ur family and pls be firm and no offensive or defensive tactics, pls dont give into any emotional blackmail by her unless ur sis are truly not what they seem. Let her not bring negativity it will backfire on her cos she already has a mindset. But most importantly settle it and remember u are already married.

You mean you went forward to join your old family with a prospective new knowing there is a discord from the onset? Well, you are married already, and you have sown the seed of discord already. Good luck.

sisisioge:


You mean you went forward to join your old family with a prospective new knowing there is a discord from the onset? Well, you are married already, and you have sown the seed of discord already. Good luck.

Please read again

amliftedhigher:
Please read again

So traditional marriage isn't legal? Dude you are married already. Congrats.

How come it is now that you have already married her traditionally and about to wrap it up that you want to act on it? What were you doing since?

this is not an issue of today, your wife must have been like that since the day you got serious with her.... you foolishly thought she would change with time, while she didnt. you can stop all marriage proceedings or stay married in a miserable union where your family would become OUTKAST.

Can't love my family less,if a woman is marrying me then she's marrying me and my family which is my bro and dad ,cos mum died in 1999 and we went tru hell to get tru to where we are now

Na so my bro tell hin wife up till nw me and hin wife close pass my bro sef


So nigga have a rethink family will be there for u but a strange woman u met in your journey in life can leave u at any damn time!

Op, just call off the wedding. I have someone in your shoes right now. The guy has already left home since eight months and not coming back anytime soon. To him, what he has is mother of her children which he sometime calls a mother nanny cos taking care of his children is just the role the woman is playing now. When they are of a certain age, he will let go of her.

.

In the course of your relationship has she mentioned any misgivings she has towards them?

Did anything happen/ go wrong at any point in the relationship?

Your family may seem nice but could be over bearing to your partner!

As it is it's better you resolve all pending issues before proceeding and so on.

You shouldn't have done the traditional marriage seeing as this matter was pending but it's too late to cry over spilt milk mcheeeew

@ op, I'm tryinging not to sound insultive but u no try at all. You know right from the onset and u still forged ahead with the wedding. U have no much choice now than to talk sense into wife.
But left to me o. I can't just take some things, I will neva allow any woman disrespect my family let alone my mom.
If you like offend me millions of time, we still gona b cool together but trespass to my family once and you a gonner. My priciple is clear and straight.
Peace

babythug:
In the course of your relationship has she mentioned any misgivings she has towards them?

Did anything happen/ go wrong at any point in the relationship?

Your family may seem nice but could be over bearing to your partner!

As it is it's better you resolve all pending issues before proceeding and so on.

You shouldn't have done the traditional marriage seeing as this matter was pending but it's too late to cry over spilt milk mcheeeew

Thanks brother. From your questions, no encounter at all between her and my family members she just hate to hear me talking with them on phone. Like you said she never showed me this before traditional marriage and my family just saw her ones before our traditional marriage if she had started this before our TM I won't have dare go to see her people talk of carrying drinks.

Tenifayo23:
@ op, I'm tryinging not to sound insultive but u no try at all. You know right from the onset and u still forged ahead with the wedding. U have no much choice now than to talk sense into wife.
But left to me o. I can't just take some things, I will neva allow any woman disrespect my family let alone my mom.
If you like offend me millions of time, we still gona b cool together but trespass to my family once and you a gonner. My priciple is clear and straight.
Peace

To be truthful to you, she never showed any of this attitude before our TM. The irony is that this people loved her so much

This one is strong ooh... OP, have you tried talking to your wife about how you feel?

amliftedhigher:
Thanks brother. From your questions, no encounter at all between her and my family members she just hate to hear me talking with them on phone. Like you said she never showed me this before traditional marriage and my family just saw her ones before our traditional marriage if she had started this before our TM I won't have dare go to see her people talk of carrying drinks.

How does she express this hatred?
Does she get visibly angry? Does she yell at you for talking to them?
I want to know because one of the reasons you feel she hates your family is because she has never visited your sister.
My brother's wife has never visited me without my brother but I have never felt that she does not like me, in fact we respect each other very much.
Also she had not visited your family before you got married, were you fine with that? She might not know that you expect her to visit your sister since you never indicated so during courtship.
You have not stated that she has disrespected them in any way she just isn't making an effort to get close to them. Is that right? In that case she might just be the type that like to mind her business in marriage.
You said she met your family only once before the traditional marriage. Since you want the type of woman that is very interactive with your family, I feel you should have created more opportunities for her to spend time with your family before you got married.

amliftedhigher:
Thanks brother. From your questions, no encounter at all between her and my family members she just hate to hear me talking with them on phone. Like you said she never showed me this before traditional marriage and my family just saw her ones before our traditional marriage if she had started this before our TM I won't have dare go to see her people talk of carrying drinks.

What are your plans now?

Oyindidi:
That question is somehow offensive. Marriage is a lifetime commitment and a girl is not comfortable with your family members. Call off the wedding if she's not ready to change. There are a thousand and one good and well cultured girl ready for marriage.

You just spoke my mind
I will boldly drop that thing call fiancee, I hate people with such character, and I don't think I can live with one.

OP, your girl is evil and bad girl naturally. There is nothing you can do about it. Don't be deceived by beauty or anything. Evil & bad people are born naturally, just like some people are good & kind naturally.

If I were you, I distaste such girl immediately, no matter the kind of love I have for her initially. As there is nothing that darkness have to do with light.

Be bless

Not to sound as if I'm making a case for her ooo; too much monster inlaw nollywood movies has made her hate people she don't even know well yet.

Sit her down and tell her the place of your family members in your life and how they made you. Tell her how you want her to behave towards them. Good luck .

elektra:


How does she express this hatred?
Does she get visibly angry? Does she yell at you for talking to them?
I want to know because one of the reasons you feel she hates your family is because she has never visited your sister.
My brother's wife has never visited me without my brother but I have never felt that she does not like me, in fact we respect each other very much.
Also she had not visited your family before you got married, were you fine with that? She might not know that you expect her to visit your sister since you never indicated so during courtship.
You have not stated that she has disrespected them in any way she just isn't making an effort to get close to them. Is that right? In that case she might just be the type that like to mind her business in marriage.
You said she met your family only once before the traditional marriage. Since you want the type of woman that is very interactive with your family, I feel you should have created more opportunities for her to spend time with your family before you got married.

A little of what transpired between us two days ago. In one of the people we want to use for our wedding, the person she recommended charge a huge amount of money which I can not pay, then I contacted my sisters to look for other person's we can use lo and behold they found people with a big difference in price variations so I decide to settle with the ones my sister recommended hence they will render same quality of services. Immediately I told her the latest, she started grumbling and saying that my sisters are controlling me that they can't come to her own family and decides what happens, I was shocked to hear that again after I caution her some months back for using this same language. My brethren 400k and 280k are they same thing? This is just a tip of her yelling about my sisters. My sisters don't know about this oh now, as am writing now my elder sister called me now and was telling me to make sure that I give My wife money to select a good wedding gown . They even told me last time that I should make sure I buy car for her before she born her first child to lessen the stress of her carrying a child in Keke or bike or Taxi. What do we call this?

amliftedhigher:
A little of what transpired between us two days ago. In one of the people we want to use for our wedding, the person she recommended charge a huge amount of money which I can not pay, then I contacted my sisters to look for other person's we can use lo and behold they found people with a big difference in price variations so I decide to settle with the ones my sister recommended hence they will render same quality of services. Immediately I told her the latest, she started grumbling and saying that my sisters are controlling me that they can't come to her own family and decides what happens, I was shocked to hear that again after I caution her some months back for using this same language. My brethren 400k and 280k are they same thing? This is just a tip of her yelling about my sisters. My sisters don't know about this oh now, as am writing now my elder sister called me now and was telling me to make sure that I give My wife money to select a good wedding gown . They even told me last time that I should make sure I buy car for her before she born her first child to lessen the stress of her carrying a child in Keke or bike or Taxi. What do we call this?

I think I understand a bit of what is going on. My brother, you might not be able to understand if your sisters are over involving themselves in your business because they are your sisters it is someone outside that will notice it instead.

You have a point in saying your sister's option is better in this case but your wife to be must have noticed their over involvement in other issues which is upsetting her already. This doesn't mean she hates them but you might have been telling her stories about your sisters involvement in your life affairs, to you it's ok but to her it might seem odd because she's from a different family

Try to understand her more, make her feel comfortable with them by helping her to feel secure in your love, this can be done through occasional reassurance.

Good luck

amliftedhigher:
A little of what transpired between us two days ago. In one of the people we want to use for our wedding, the person she recommended charge a huge amount of money which I can not pay, then I contacted my sisters to look for other person's we can use lo and behold they found people with a big difference in price variations so I decide to settle with the ones my sister recommended hence they will render same quality of services. Immediately I told her the latest, she started grumbling and saying that my sisters are controlling me that they can't come to her own family and decides what happens, I was shocked to hear that again after I caution her some months back for using this same language. My brethren 400k and 280k are they same thing? This is just a tip of her yelling about my sisters. My sisters don't know about this oh now, as am writing now my elder sister called me now and was telling me to make sure that I give My wife money to select a good wedding gown . They even told me last time that I should make sure I buy car for her before she born her first child to lessen the stress of her carrying a child in Keke or bike or Taxi. What do we call this?

Honestly your sister's suggestion is the better one and someone like me would have been happy to found a cheaper price.
I think what made her angry is that after the both of you have decided on something, you went to meet your sister and made final agreement with your sister on what to do. It is after you have made that arrangement with your sister that you informed her.
You should try to keep her in the loop, she might be feeling left out. That is why I suggested you should have created more opportunities for her to interact with your family before the wedding.