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My New Wife Hates My Family Without Provocation - Family (8) - Nairaland

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Re: My New Wife Hates My Family Without Provocation by josessybj: 4:11am On Sep 14, 2017
This is just the starting by the time she enter ur house I pity ur life?

1 Like

Re: My New Wife Hates My Family Without Provocation by BreezyRita(f): 4:21am On Sep 14, 2017
Op, I don't think your wife hates your family. No, it hasn't gotten there yet.

I have a boyfriend whose family, especially mother has to vet most of his decisions and I can tell you its not very pleasant especially as I'm a very private human being. I hear about things he's going to from the mother. She 'advises' him on everything.

So I believe its the same thing here. Now, I'm not saying anyone is wrong here. You are married now, so you shouldn't expect your wife to react the same way you/your family would in any circumstance. She is a person with different opinions too. You've lived as bachelor since but that has got to change. For example, that issue about wedding plans, you should have told her about the two prices and given her reasons why 'you' want to go for the one you want. Only a mad woman will refuse to accept your choice. But no! You made the decision without consulting her. Even I would be angry!
What are you telling her? That her opinion doesn't matter? Well, I guess it wasn't intentional.
But like I said, act like a married man now.

And I also feel your sisters should give your and Mrs a break for a while. I know they love you and in their eyes you're still their 'lil' brother. Try to show them that's changed now respectably.

It would also be nice to discuss this with your wife.....
Good luck in your marriage!

3 Likes

Re: My New Wife Hates My Family Without Provocation by laudate: 4:30am On Sep 14, 2017
BreezyRita:
Op, I don't think your wife hates your family. No, it hasn't gotten there yet.

I have a boyfriend whose family, especially mother has to vet most of his decisions and I can tell you its not very pleasant especially as I'm a very private human being.

So I believe its the same thing here. Now, I'm not saying anyone is wrong here. You are married now, so you shouldn't expect your wife to react the same way you/your family would in any circumstance. She is a person with different opinions too. You've lived as bachelor since but that has got to change. For example, that issue about wedding plans, you should have told her about the two prices and given her reasons why 'you' want to go for the one you want. Only a mad woman will refuse to accept your choice. But no! You made the decision without consulting her. Even I would be angry!
What are you telling her? That her opinion doesn't matter? Well, I guess it wasn't intentional.
But like I said, act like a married man now.

And I also feel your sisters should give your and Mrs a break for a while. I know they love you and in their eyes you're still their 'lil' brother. Try to show them that's changed now respectably.

It would also be nice to discuss this with your wife.....
Good luck in your marriage!

Madam, you did not read through the entire thread before coming to this conclusion. sad Please endeavour to do so. undecided
Re: My New Wife Hates My Family Without Provocation by BreezyRita(f): 4:40am On Sep 14, 2017
laudate:


Madam, you did not read through the entire thread before coming to this conclusion. sad Please endeavour to do so. undecided
Really? And what point do you feel I'm ignorant of?
Re: My New Wife Hates My Family Without Provocation by spiralwedge(m): 4:42am On Sep 14, 2017
Op amliftedhigher, It may be the mentality she got from nollywood movies or her experience with her siblings' in laws or just an evil woman with bad background. In any case, suspend all marriage plans asap. This will enable your beloved ones to aak questions and you can then table out your concerns. She, on the other hand, will know you are worried about her character.
Believe me, what you are concerned about now will be double after wedding. It may take 2-3 years of pretence, but her FULL true colours would glow then. And unfortunately you may be the only one to be dieing silently then.
Don't form a superman, discuss your concerns with one of your siblings and someone from her side too, so that either you can correct it now (by finding out why she is like that and accept to change) or you have people who will have solidarity with you when your marriage begins to weigh you down.

So, suspend all wedding plans for now (even if it is shakara) and intentionally bring up many family issues and study her reactions again. Use this period to iron out those issues confrontationally. If nothing changes, please don't go ahead with the wedding.
Re: My New Wife Hates My Family Without Provocation by laudate: 4:42am On Sep 14, 2017
BreezyRita:
Really? And what point do you feel I'm ignorant of?

The point where he said the girl gets angry every time he is talking to his family on the phone; the part where she complained about his sisters, claiming they were too controlling; the part where she refused to interact with his family members and never visited his sister even though they were in the same town...?

amliftedhigher:
A little of what transpired between us two days ago. In one of the people we want to use for our wedding, the person she recommended charge a huge amount of money which I can not pay, then I contacted my sisters to look for other person's we can use lo and behold they found people with a big difference in price variations so I decide to settle with the ones my sister recommended hence they will render same quality of services. Immediately I told her the latest, she started grumbling and saying that my sisters are controlling me that they can't come to her own family and decides what happens, I was shocked to hear that again after I caution her some months back for using this same language. My brethren 400k and 280k are they same thing? This is just a tip of her yelling about my sisters. My sisters don't know about this oh now, as am writing now my elder sister called me now and was telling me to make sure that I give My wife money to select a good wedding gown . They even told me last time that I should make sure I buy car for her before she born her first child to lessen the stress of her carrying a child in Keke or bike or Taxi. What do we call this?

amliftedhigher:
Thanks brother. From your questions, no encounter at all between her and my family members she just hate to hear me talking with them on phone. Like you said she never showed me this before traditional marriage and my family just saw her ones before our traditional marriage if she had started this before our TM I won't have dare go to see her people talk of carrying drinks.

amliftedhigher:
Good morning wonderful nairalanders.

I Am having a very delicate family issues now. I am an only son of my family and 5 sisters all married, since I brought my wife to be to them they all love her with passion and they keep telling me to take good care of the girl, they keep warning me not to treat her bad.

My sister love my Wife with passion including my aged mother but my wife to be in return hates them openly to me.

She doesn't like me mention them before her or discuss any thing with them. But she adores her family so much. We have finished traditional marriage remaining church wedding which is next two weeks from today.

During our preparations my family has noticed her long mute with them in issues of our wedding arrangement, they ask me but I told them that my wife is a shy type that doesn't talk too much but I was lying.

N/B they have not done anything evil to her and they will not think about it because they all fear me but my confusion Now is why my wife hates them? One of my sister lives in the same city with my wife but she hardly visits her.

My fellow comrades please what do I do? I can't hate my sisters because they and their husbands train me in the university . I came from a poor home but seeing the love I have for education all My sisters and their husbands swear that I must attend university . My God's grace I am working in one of the best organization in the country now am comfortable. Do I chase my family away now because of a woman I am getting married to? Help am confused.

Thanks in anticipation

2 Likes

Re: My New Wife Hates My Family Without Provocation by crownson(m): 4:43am On Sep 14, 2017
You better let that girl know your stand now about your family.
She has not gain full ground and she is acting like this.
What will happen when the white wedding is concluded.
And check further, she could be inspired by her own family
to act this way.
Set things strait now before it is too late. A word is enough
for a wise.

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Re: My New Wife Hates My Family Without Provocation by JAYUK(m): 4:45am On Sep 14, 2017
@ op,am sorry because you may not like to hear the truth.if your assertions are true and real,you do not need nairaland input to take a decision. This lady has no tespect for you let alone love,i think you are the one excited about marrying her not the other way round.Well you can go ahead and marry her so you will be a learning point for others. Family is everything.

3 Likes

Re: My New Wife Hates My Family Without Provocation by JAYUK(m): 5:00am On Sep 14, 2017
Op, I don't think your wife hates your family. No, it hasn't gotten there yet.
I have a boyfriend whose family, especially mother has to vet most of his decisions and I can tell you its not very pleasant especially as I'm a very private human being. I hear about things he's going to from the mother. She 'advises' him on everything.
So I believe its the same thing here. Now, I'm not saying anyone is wrong here. You are married now, so you shouldn't expect your wife to react the same way you/your family would in any circumstance. She is a person with different opinions too. You've lived as bachelor since but that has got to change. For example, that issue about wedding plans, you should have told her about the two prices and given her reasons why 'you' want to go for the one you want. Only a mad woman will refuse to accept your choice. But no! You made the decision without consulting her. Even I would be angry!
What are you telling her? That her opinion doesn't matter? Well, I guess it wasn't intentional.
But like I said, act like a married man now.
And I also feel your sisters should give your and Mrs a break for a while. I know they love you and in their eyes you're still their 'lil' brother. Try to show them that's changed now respectably.
It would also be nice to discuss this with your wife.....
Good luck in your marriage!


Breezyrita,i totally disagree with you on this,no matter how rich one is,cost of services must be reviewed with respect to the service,when prices are hyped even a dundee will still know.The lady has some negative stuffs to unveil later,let her open up on her reason for this reservation,i pity the op who is obsessed with the fantasy he is in now,the thought of what he is going to pass through if he doesn't correct this anomaly is life threatening. [font=Lucida Sans Unicode]Op, I don't think your wife hates your family. No, it hasn't gotten there yet.
I have a boyfriend whose family, especially mother has to vet most of his decisions and I can tell you its not very pleasant especially as I'm a very private human being. I hear about things he's going to from the mother. She 'advises' him on everything.
So I believe its the same thing here. Now, I'm not saying anyone is wrong here. You are married now, so you shouldn't expect your wife to react the same way you/your family would in any circumstance. She is a person with different opinions too. You've lived as bachelor since but that has got to change. For example, that issue about wedding plans, you should have told her about the two prices and given her reasons why 'you' want to go for the one you want. Only a mad woman will refuse to accept your choice. But no! You made the decision without consulting her. Even I would be angry!
What are you telling her? That her opinion doesn't matter? Well, I guess it wasn't intentional.
But like I said, act like a married man now.
And I also feel your sisters should give your and Mrs a break for a while. I know they love you and in their eyes you're still their 'lil' brother. Try to show them that's changed now respectably.
It would also be nice to discuss this with your wife.....
Good luck in your marriage!


Breezyrita,i totally disagree with you on this,no matter how rich one is,cost of services must be reviewed with respect to the service,when prices are hyped even a dundee will still know.The lady has some negative stuffs to unveil later,let her open up on her reason for this reservation,i pity the op who is obsessed with the fantasy he is in now,the thought of what he is going to pass through if he doesn't correct this anomaly is life threatening.
Re: My New Wife Hates My Family Without Provocation by Nobody: 5:02am On Sep 14, 2017
mrblessed:
Which good lady will snub the company of a 'good and nice family?' I think your hubby is correct; you hate his family without a reason. lf you ask me, I think you are suffering from a psychological problem.
You are really living in a hole to think that everyone should act in a particular manner.
Because i have loving caring people i should throw myself all about them, go visit them, spend weekends and d likes...
Was i doing that with the family he met me with before marriage?
Go and hide where u ve always been, i was trained to mind my business and not get into peoples personal lives
Re: My New Wife Hates My Family Without Provocation by gezzyvinci(m): 5:03am On Sep 14, 2017
coolcatty:
Smh

This marriage is so so heading to the rocks.... See massive red flag.

10k bet that this marriage won't get to 1year mark.

Who's betting with me on this?

U don win already
Re: My New Wife Hates My Family Without Provocation by Nobody: 5:11am On Sep 14, 2017
Kingrapha:
you give them their space cause you like yours?
and you expect him to be cozy to your family abi?
selfish women everywhere....

Its not about being selfish, people are different..
My dear friend lives down my street i just dont walk into their house to sit and talk..
My spouse is not all over my family and i dont see anything wrong in that
Re: My New Wife Hates My Family Without Provocation by Nobody: 5:16am On Sep 14, 2017
THIS ya comrado English sef reach wetin go make ya wife hate ya famiri because dem no send you go school...
Re: My New Wife Hates My Family Without Provocation by ojlifa: 5:30am On Sep 14, 2017
forget that talk,na so all women be,when i marry na so my wife create problem between me and all member of my family,in fact she even start my pastor talk this and that,until one day after some years i seat my ass down ask myself some good question,every thing she accuses my mama of her mama dey do yet no no whala if you ask am she go tell you say na family.so i come ask am so my own no be family abi,the women even tell me our house isn't open to outsiders yet if her parents they around them go come sleep.na him i give myself brain quickly start to fix all the things the woman done destroy in fact i still dey the process


amliftedhigher:
Good morning wonderful nairalanders.

I Am having a very delicate family issues now. I am an only son of my family and 5 sisters all married, since I brought my wife to be to them they all love her with passion and they keep telling me to take good care of the girl, they keep warning me not to treat her bad.

My sister love my Wife with passion including my aged mother but my wife to be in return hates them openly to me.

She doesn't like me mention them before her or discuss any thing with them. But she adores her family so much. We have finished traditional marriage remaining church wedding which is next two weeks from today.

During our preparations my family has noticed her long mute with them in issues of our wedding arrangement, they ask me but I told them that my wife is a shy type that doesn't talk too much but I was lying.

N/B they have not done anything evil to her and they will not think about it because they all fear me but my confusion Now is why my wife hates them? One of my sister lives in the same city with my wife but she hardly visits her.

My fellow comrades please what do I do? I can't hate my sisters because they and their husbands train me in the university . I came from a poor home but seeing the love I have for education all My sisters and their husbands swear that I must attend university . My God's grace I am working in one of the best organization in the country now am comfortable. Do I chase my family away now because of a woman I am getting married to? Help am confused.

Thanks in anticipation

2 Likes

Re: My New Wife Hates My Family Without Provocation by Sulenyawo081: 5:31am On Sep 14, 2017
If you don't know how to tackle the situation, broo kill yourself. Case close���
Re: My New Wife Hates My Family Without Provocation by akakc47: 5:31am On Sep 14, 2017
My brother u need to get things right now b4 is too late.suspend ur wedding now.talk to her people about it.even though i know they know about it .she is a very selfish person otherwise there should be equilibrum.And also speak to ur siblings about it,they might have wronged her unknowingly.
Re: My New Wife Hates My Family Without Provocation by Menzy86(m): 5:35am On Sep 14, 2017
amliftedhigher:
A little of what transpired between us two days ago. In one of the people we want to use for our wedding, the person she recommended charge a huge amount of money which I can not pay, then I contacted my sisters to look for other person's we can use lo and behold they found people with a big difference in price variations so I decide to settle with the ones my sister recommended hence they will render same quality of services. Immediately I told her the latest, she started grumbling and saying that my sisters are controlling me that they can't come to her own family and decides what happens, I was shocked to hear that again after I caution her some months back for using this same language. My brethren 400k and 280k are they same thing? This is just a tip of her yelling about my sisters. My sisters don't know about this oh now, as am writing now my elder sister called me now and was telling me to make sure that I give My wife money to select a good wedding gown . They even told me last time that I should make sure I buy car for her before she born her first child to lessen the stress of her carrying a child in Keke or bike or Taxi. What do we call this?
Truth is 80% of men that get killed by their wives (either through bad character or directly) clearly saw the signs long before they ever got married but gullibly ignored them. This is a classic case!

1 Like

Re: My New Wife Hates My Family Without Provocation by yinkslinks(m): 5:36am On Sep 14, 2017
Traditional Marriage is nothing and can still be broken. Please open up to your family and end the union with her. She will end up killing you if you marry her. Your family is your only saving grace if you let her into your life so she is trying to push them away so devil can have his way in your life. Bro God has told me to let you run for your life. I am not a passport but this lady will kill you in less than 8 months. You have a very good future in which devil programmed her to destroy you. Be wise
Re: My New Wife Hates My Family Without Provocation by Nobody: 5:37am On Sep 14, 2017
you re the cause of the problem for failing to know the kind of woman you bring into ur life.
Hatred of for inlaws doesnt start all of a sudden after marriage, she must have resented and despised it during courtship and you encouraged it by your silence and aloofness.
You have to let her know u dont like that behavior she shud change or u end d union its not too late.
A woman who isolates u from ur family doesnt love you, she is just after ur money and ur life.
Re: My New Wife Hates My Family Without Provocation by NoToPile: 5:41am On Sep 14, 2017
yinkslinks:
Traditional Marriage is nothing and can still be broken.


Traditional marriage is nothing lool and lool, don't deceive the poor guy abeg. He is as married as the word married. I just don't know why we have this mentality that trad marriage is not marriage, may God deliver us oo.
Re: My New Wife Hates My Family Without Provocation by alolimet: 5:43am On Sep 14, 2017
Quote I for one don't see a good wife here, neither do I see a good marriage forthcoming. The lady gat attitude which will separate your family



I think I understand a bit of what is going on. My brother, you might not be able to understand if your sisters are over involving themselves in your business because they are your sisters it is someone outside that will notice it instead.

You have a point in saying your sister's option is better in this case but your wife to be must have noticed their over involvement in other issues which is upsetting her already. This doesn't mean she hates them but you might have been telling her stories about your sisters involvement in your life affairs, to you it's ok but to her it might seem odd because she's from a different family

Try to understand her more, make her feel comfortable with them by helping her to feel secure in your love, this can be done through occasional reassurance.

Good luck[/quote
Quote I for one don't see a good wife here, neither do I see a good marriage forthcoming. The lady gat attitude which will separate your family ]

1 Like

Re: My New Wife Hates My Family Without Provocation by Nobody: 5:48am On Sep 14, 2017
See wetin big bress and yansh dey cause?

Now you dey reason bone ya side.

Better man up and talk seriously to her.
Re: My New Wife Hates My Family Without Provocation by Nobody: 5:51am On Sep 14, 2017
yinkslinks:
Traditional Marriage is nothing and can still be broken. Please open up to your family and end the union with her. She will end up killing you if you marry her. Your family is your only saving grace if you let her into your life so she is trying to push them away so devil can have his way in your life. Bro God has told me to let you run for your life. I am not a passport but this lady will kill you in less than 8 months. You have a very good future in which devil programmed her to destroy you. Be wise

Trad marriage is the recognised marriage, white wedding is more of formality and blessing.

1 Like

Re: My New Wife Hates My Family Without Provocation by clemzo101(m): 5:52am On Sep 14, 2017
She has finally used sex to confuse ur sense of reasoning......smh
Re: My New Wife Hates My Family Without Provocation by Nobody: 5:53am On Sep 14, 2017
niggi4life:
you Said you don't hate them but you give them space? Why the space? So u give your own family space? What's there drawing them closer, afterall you guys are now families
Maybe it has more to do with personality...
My family, his family i love them a bunch and they know but they all know their limits
I am not the type to come online and say my MIL did not give me food when i went to see her over the weekend or my inlaws or siblings came to my house to eat up all the food and refused leaving or my husband and my brother had a big fight, things like that wont happen around me cos i try to manage things from the onset
90% of the people here said the OP should leave the lady.. Maybe thats what they see as ideal... but did anyone consider if its all in the OPs head.
Hate is a huge word to use and it doesnt really happen often

2 Likes

Re: My New Wife Hates My Family Without Provocation by DrHighchief(m): 5:55am On Sep 14, 2017
coolcatty:
Smh

This marriage is so so heading to the rocks.... See massive red flag.

10k bet that this marriage won't get to 1year mark.

Who's betting with me on this?
One year is 2 far
Re: My New Wife Hates My Family Without Provocation by Nobody: 5:57am On Sep 14, 2017
fk001:



I have fallen in love before, but i will never embark on such silly act

CC: amlifted be careful, is this the type of person you want to receive advice from? Hope you are mature enough to read through your thread and pick the best advice, nairaland is full of inexperienced people
Re: My New Wife Hates My Family Without Provocation by AreaFada2: 6:00am On Sep 14, 2017
Dude
Good luck.
Re: My New Wife Hates My Family Without Provocation by DrHighchief(m): 6:02am On Sep 14, 2017
I sent a girl packing for telling me to dissociate from my family.

2 Likes

Re: My New Wife Hates My Family Without Provocation by AreaFada2: 6:02am On Sep 14, 2017
Dude listen carefully.

I doubt if this girl loves you genuinely.

I guess she likes your salary & wants to control you for that. She prefers you forget your family. She can even use any means to achieve that. Including juju. By then you will not even realise when you ostracise your family.

She's already hating people she barely knows: her new family no less.

She's not even hiding her hate for now at least to please you. What about when she becomes your wife? shocked shocked shocked shocked

Is her own birth family or someone in her birth family advising her to behave this way??

If you can, postpone this wedding. You should have postponed the traditional one too.

If you begin it wrong, correcting it later will be difficult. She will have more legal power as a wedded wife.

Good luck.
Re: My New Wife Hates My Family Without Provocation by Nicestibk(m): 6:02am On Sep 14, 2017
That's the other side of women. U will know her more gradual. Something similar happened to me too,
but u must matured enough to deal with her.

Simple trick, talk to her in sweet mood to change her present status quo, if no changes, then do this. Do a bit of what she does to your family to her own family too, when she ask you, make her realize it is how u felt when she does that. Speak sense to her n I believe she would change.

Never report her to her own family ooo.


amliftedhigher:
Good morning wonderful nairalanders.

I Am having a very delicate family issues now. I am an only son of my family and 5 sisters all married, since I brought my wife to be to them they all love her with passion and they keep telling me to take good care of the girl, they keep warning me not to treat her bad.

My sister love my Wife with passion including my aged mother but my wife to be in return hates them openly to me.

She doesn't like me mention them before her or discuss any thing with them. But she adores her family so much. We have finished traditional marriage remaining church wedding which is next two weeks from today.

During our preparations my family has noticed her long mute with them in issues of our wedding arrangement, they ask me but I told them that my wife is a shy type that doesn't talk too much but I was lying.

N/B they have not done anything evil to her and they will not think about it because they all fear me but my confusion Now is why my wife hates them? One of my sister lives in the same city with my wife but she hardly visits her.

My fellow comrades please what do I do? I can't hate my sisters because they and their husbands train me in the university . I came from a poor home but seeing the love I have for education all My sisters and their husbands swear that I must attend university . My God's grace I am working in one of the best organization in the country now am comfortable. Do I chase my family away now because of a woman I am getting married to? Help am confused.

Thanks in anticipation

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