mabea:
Your advise is based on hypothesis. You only work base on the informations you were given. Trust me if you think the lady is acting this way in order to push the op be a man you will be making a mistake.

I never said she's pushing the OP to be a man, based on the info he gave its not hate, its just power play.

And the irony of it is that most men never know.

if she loves you, she will love your people unconditionally because she will not want anything to take away your peace and happiness. But if she only love your material things then she will not bother about your peace and happiness.
Again marriage is for men and not boys. men have emotional stability and independence and can make their decisions independently without calling for FAMILY meeting or VILLAGE meeting.

Ashley86400:
Dude, getting your wife to like your family, especially your mother is like getting a shark and a lion to cohabit. It's just not possible. All women hate their (mother) in laws.
Look on the bright side, at least your wife is not a pretender.

Madam speak for yourself abeg


At OP the worst day of my life was when I had to help out my loves mother a day after he cursed my generation including the dead who I was shattered I lost ....

It wasn't easy I cried that night but the next morning there was joy seeing the difference your presence makes anger is fleeting but real love is unconditional

amliftedhigher:
please I was only asking a question. I didn't and will not try to dissociate with my family members?

Then what you should do is to sit her down and ask her why she hates your family, if she can't give you a contrete reason, suspend the wedding bro. For you own good.

obyrich:
Now is the time to get it right or never. If you cannot tolerate being ostracized from your family by your wife, better let her know it now. Go to her parents and tell them you will not tolerate such attitude. If it means calling off the wedding, go ahead and do so. If however, you don't mind what happens to your family after you are married, then go ahead with the wedding but don't attack her later or force her to love them or change.
It's now or never.

You just took this out of my mouth and heart. Na man you be

obayaya:


Your Experience isn't the same with OP's. Stop judging OP's situation based on your experience

Sir it's the same. Dont want to go into details. The op will be making a grave mistake if he marries this lady.

OP let me chip in my advice on this issue. If a lady loves you for real then the love for your family is automatically paramount to her coupled with the fact that you want to marry her. So I suggest you escalate the matter to her family & notice if there'll be change in her if they talk to her, but if not this lady is only after your money & may eventually end up killing you to possess your possessions.

A word is enough for the wise

My brother...

If she openly hates your family without provocation and adores hers far over yours, then she must not be your woman else you would have created a monster you would fight forever.

Think about all the cruel things she will make your children believe about your family.

You have a responsibility to not make things hard for yourself.

amliftedhigher:
Thanks brother. From your questions, no encounter at all between her and my family members she just hate to hear me talking with them on phone. Like you said she never showed me this before traditional marriage and my family just saw her ones before our traditional marriage if she had started this before our TM I won't have dare go to see her people talk of carrying drinks.

It's not too late to let go if you don't want to be miserable in that marriage. Any woman who hates your family like that does not love you. Open your eyes bro

Oga, you have only told us your own side of this story. We do not know yours. Any advice given on this platform will be a biased judgement. Ur issues will be best resolved when you have a serious talk with her. Biko, listen to her

coolcatty:
Smh

This marriage is so so heading to the rocks.... See massive red flag.

10k bet that this marriage won't get to 1year mark.

Who's betting with me on this?

Lol

I bet you over 4.5 that you are right. Op shud never allow a lady come btw you n your family, i bet you that if they (ur family) had not train the lady in question wud hv never come close to you. Family first bro

NoToPile:


I never said she's pushing the OP to be a man, based on the info he gave its not hate, its just power play.

And the irony of it is that most men never know.

Now if u take it from the 1st info he gave u will discover that the so called 'power play' is a sign of what will follow after. I believe this lady is acting on some ill advise or perception.

You shud never allow a lady come btw you n your family, i
bet you that if they (ur family) had not traind you the lady in question wud hv never come close to you.
Family first bro if she doesnt like your familyl just free her & call of d wedding, better late than never. If you go ahead with d wedding, she will isolate you from your family.

amliftedhigher:
Good morning wonderful nairalanders.

I Am having a very delicate family issues now. I am an only son of my family and 5 sisters all married, since I brought my wife to be to them they all love her with passion and they keep telling me to take good care of the girl, they keep warning me not to treat her bad.

My sister love my Wife with passion including my aged mother but my wife to be in return hates them openly to me.

She doesn't like me mention them before her or discuss any thing with them. But she adores her family so much. We have finished traditional marriage remaining church wedding which is next two weeks from today.

During our preparations my family has noticed her long mute with them in issues of our wedding arrangement, they ask me but I told them that my wife is a shy type that doesn't talk too much but I was lying.

N/B they have not done anything evil to her and they will not think about it because they all fear me but my confusion Now is why my wife hates them? One of my sister lives in the same city with my wife but she hardly visits her.

My fellow comrades please what do I do? I can't hate my sisters because they and their husbands train me in the university . I came from a poor home but seeing the love I have for education all My sisters and their husbands swear that I must attend university . My God's grace I am working in one of the best organization in the country now am comfortable. Do I chase my family away now because of a woman I am getting married to? Help am confused.

Thanks in anticipation

If I were you, I will call off the marriage and wouldn't even bother trying to make her like my family, because it will be pretense, and after getting married she will turn you against your family, none of your family will be able to come visit you.
Better call off the wedding. No one should turn you against your family not even Dangote's daughter.

Adenikeh:
Oga, you have only told us your own side of this story. We do not know yours. Any advice given on this platform will be a biased judgement. Ur issues will be best resolved when you have a serious talk with her. Biko, listen to her

He should know why she hates his family but adores hers. The way people give advice, sometimes I become afraid.

This is one of the things that scares me too
bro


I just hope you will not marry a monster because most times, God normally open our eyes to foresee those tendencies during courtship so that we can flee for our lives.

amliftedhigher:
Good morning wonderful nairalanders.

I Am having a very delicate family issues now. I am an only son of my family and 5 sisters all married, since I brought my wife to be to them they all love her with passion and they keep telling me to take good care of the girl, they keep warning me not to treat her bad.

My sister love my Wife with passion including my aged mother but my wife to be in return hates them openly to me.

She doesn't like me mention them before her or discuss any thing with them. But she adores her family so much. We have finished traditional marriage remaining church wedding which is next two weeks from today.

During our preparations my family has noticed her long mute with them in issues of our wedding arrangement, they ask me but I told them that my wife is a shy type that doesn't talk too much but I was lying.

N/B they have not done anything evil to her and they will not think about it because they all fear me but my confusion Now is why my wife hates them? One of my sister lives in the same city with my wife but she hardly visits her.

My fellow comrades please what do I do? I can't hate my sisters because they and their husbands train me in the university . I came from a poor home but seeing the love I have for education all My sisters and their husbands swear that I must attend university . My God's grace I am working in one of the best organization in the country now am comfortable. Do I chase my family away now because of a woman I am getting married to? Help am confused.

Thanks in anticipation

1 Naturally you feel that you owe your sisters and the husbands thats fine as long you dont take it too far in compromising your own relationship/marriage

2 As the only boy and them putting you through school it kept them very close to you and that also can affect your relationship with a woman its takes time to let go i.e sisters treating you as if he still young when actually just got married. Which is what has happened to you, your sisters cant switched off just like that, they will soon realise that you are now your own man with a wife.

Newly weds always have problems with relatives and relatives from both sides are always in your face becoz thats what their are used too, it takes time for them to realise that s/he is now married nolonger needs protection all the time from family but from his/her partner

So what your see as hate from your wife it might just that she sees your sisters being in your business all the time, remember every married woman wants to be her own woman, not her thing being run of influenced by another woman in your case your sisters, yourself you might be too blind to see it becoz their are your sisters and thats the routine you are used to and you dont see the wrong in it BUT the wife sees it the other way

All you need right now is to ask the wife what she really hates about them dont let her just brush off the issues let her say what she feels it will help you to understand were she is coming from then you take it from there

you clearly said "She doesn't like me mention them before her or discuss any thing with them" meaning you run decision through them nothing wrong with that for the time being becoz thats what you were used too and them their were used to that also. So it time to make decision as couple you and her NOT THEM you are now married

coolcatty:
Smh

This marriage is so so heading to the rocks.... See massive red flag.

10k bet that this marriage won't get to 1year mark.

Who's betting with me on this?

I join put 25k

That girl will eventually damage your home and life, if truly your family have not done anything to her and she treats them like shit please call off the wedding and enjoy your life with those that matters but if you choose to push through don't come back here to give us headache. Mo ti so temi, iyitoku o ku si e lowo

amliftedhigher:
please I was only asking a question. I didn't and will not try to dissociate with my family members?

You can't even try dissociating your family, inukwaya try it and see the very same girl ruin you

coolcatty:
Smh
This marriage is so so heading to the rocks.... See massive red flag.
10k bet that this marriage won't get to 1year mark.
Who's betting with me on this?

20k it won't pass 7mnth mark.......

ImaIma1:
How come it is now that you have already married her traditionally and about to wrap it up that you want to act on it? What were you doing since?

OJU RE SHESHE LA NI, HE IS CALLED OPONU in yoruba

Mumu guys everywhere

[quote author=amliftedhigher post=60405677]Good morning wonderful nairalanders.

I Am having a very delicate family issues now. I am an only son of my family and 5 sisters all married, since I brought my wife to be to them they all love her with passion and they keep telling me to take good care of the girl, they keep warning me not to treat her bad.

My sister love my Wife with passion including my aged mother but my wife to be in return hates them openly to me.

She doesn't like me mention them before her or discuss any thing with them. But she adores her family so much. We have finished traditional marriage remaining church wedding which is next two weeks from today.

During our preparations my family has noticed her long mute with them in issues of our wedding arrangement, they ask me but I told them that my wife is a shy type that doesn't talk too much but I was lying.

N/B they have not done anything evil to her and they will not think about it because they all fear me but my confusion Now is why my wife hates them? One of my sister lives in the same city with my wife but she hardly visits her.

My fellow comrades please what do I do? I can't hate my sisters because they and their husbands train me in the university . I came from a poor home but seeing the love I have for education all My sisters and their husbands swear that I must attend university . My God's grace I am working in one of the best organization in the country now am comfortable. Do I chase my family away now because of a woman I am getting married to? Help am confused.

Thanks in anticipation [/quo

You are the husband, your actions determine how your will be home. Ask her this simple question WHAT IS HER PROBLEM? because this is a sign of abnormality.

amliftedhigher:
A little of what transpired between us two days ago. In one of the people we want to use for our wedding, the person she recommended charge a huge amount of money which I can not pay, then I contacted my sisters to look for other person's we can use lo and behold they found people with a big difference in price variations so I decide to settle with the ones my sister recommended hence they will render same quality of services. Immediately I told her the latest, she started grumbling and saying that my sisters are controlling me that they can't come to her own family and decides what happens, I was shocked to hear that again after I caution her some months back for using this same language. My brethren 400k and 280k are they same thing? This is just a tip of her yelling about my sisters. My sisters don't know about this oh now, as am writing now my elder sister called me now and was telling me to make sure that I give My wife money to select a good wedding gown . They even told me last time that I should make sure I buy car for her before she born her first child to lessen the stress of her carrying a child in Keke or bike or Taxi. What do we call this?

you've heard it all

amliftedhigher:
Good morning wonderful nairalanders.

I Am having a very delicate family issues now. I am an only son of my family and 5 sisters all married, since I brought my wife to be to them they all love her with passion and they keep telling me to take good care of the girl, they keep warning me not to treat her bad.

My sister love my Wife with passion including my aged mother but my wife to be in return hates them openly to me.

She doesn't like me mention them before her or discuss any thing with them. But she adores her family so much. We have finished traditional marriage remaining church wedding which is next two weeks from today.

During our preparations my family has noticed her long mute with them in issues of our wedding arrangement, they ask me but I told them that my wife is a shy type that doesn't talk too much but I was lying.

N/B they have not done anything evil to her and they will not think about it because they all fear me but my confusion Now is why my wife hates them? One of my sister lives in the same city with my wife but she hardly visits her.

My fellow comrades please what do I do? I can't hate my sisters because they and their husbands train me in the university . I came from a poor home but seeing the love I have for education all My sisters and their husbands swear that I must attend university . My God's grace I am working in one of the best organization in the country now am comfortable. Do I chase my family away now because of a woman I am getting married to? Help am confused.

Thanks in anticipation

You are the husband, your actions determine how your will be home. Ask her this simple question WHAT IS HER PROBLEM? because this is a sign of abnormality.

Person Wey wear shoe knows where it pains. The op knows what he is saying......A Guy that has been the husband of the family being the only Son all these years she wants to pull him away just like that? Na winch?

elektra:


Honestly your sister's suggestion is the better one and someone like me would have been happy to found a cheaper price.
I think what made her angry is that after the both of you have decided on something, you went to meet your sister and made final agreement with your sister on what to do. It is after you have made that arrangement with your sister that you informed her.
You should try to keep her in the loop, she might be feeling left out. That is why I suggested you should have created more opportunities for her to interact with your family before the wedding.

Oyindidi:
the bolded

I can't see it.

solasoulmusic:


Madam speak for yourself abeg


At OP the worst day of my life was when I had to help out my loves mother a day after he cursed my generation including the dead who I was shattered I lost ....

It wasn't easy I cried that night but the next morning there was joy seeing the difference your presence makes anger is fleeting but real love is unconditional

The last time I checked, this forum is open to all kind of comments- freedom of speech,views and opinions.
Mind your business and move along. .

I don't normally respond to such issues but bro better correct all the problems now. Marriage is a commitment,before she came into your life your mother and sisters took care of you and loved you why pay them back with someone that don't love them? Do the needful now

Coldfeets:


I can't see it.

I know you won't see it

Oyindidi:
I know you won't see it

how are you ahnie