Tahra:
That'd be selfish,his money is his,mine's mine.Joint account is a no-no.

"... your own name is Tahra right?? yeye girl

princeadams11:

Forget abt what she has, take full responsibilty as a man. You will definitely earn your respect.

My belief is that marriage is meant to be a partnership.

I'm still wondering why Nigerians believe that when it comes to spending and other responsibilities, then the men should bear it all, but when it comes to other issues that don't involve money or stress, both wives and husbands are equal. Anyway, it looks like it's an African thing. Come to the western world and face realities.

And for your information, spending all your hard-earned money while your wife keeps hers does not guarantee respect from her. There are other things that would earn you respect from your wife aside that. No matter how much you're spending, your respect will diminish once you're found to be unfaithful to your wife. Ask married people

Next2Bezee:


C'mon go & siddan there!

A woman that is fully dependent on her husband is also a disgrace, na him born you?

My money will always be mine, but taking care of my family will always be top priority. While i also expect our family to be her financial priority as well.

May stingy & lazy women never be our portion, Amen!

AMEN!

A virtuous woman supports her husband. It's God's spoken word anyway (Eve was created to help Adam).

Proverbs 31:10-31 details the virtues of a noble wife.

Even as friends and family, anyone who takes without giving when he has is mean and a cheat. That's entitlement mentality. Blessed are those who give for they shall never lack. It's a simple law of nature.

Augustap:
Whatever i get belongs to us, and same goes to him too. A man has a lot of things to cater for and dt includes us. A wife should support her husband not overburden him

I beg to differ my sister.

The problem is we (all 4 genders.....females, males, gays and lesbians ) tend to go back and forth concerning family standards. We call on 50/50 rules then expect females and lesbians to take it like that. If you give a lady one resposibility that makes her look equal to a man, she automatically bombs the entire setup.

The munite you start getting promotions and you end up earning more that the husband, he automatically feels inferior and you my sister self distructs.

How about we let them do the job of providing. Catering for your wife is not a burden, no. As long as she attends to all her responsibilities.

aamstih:
Father Lord, may we not see this type and may this type not see us. Amen

AMEN! Very useless, vampiric, dependent set of parasites.

jagugu88li:
I beg to differ my sister.

The problem is we (all 4 genders.....females, males, gays and lesbians ) tend to go back and forth concerning family standards. We call on 50/50 rules then expect females and lesbians to take it like that. If you give a lady one resposibility that makes her look equal to a man, she automatically bombs the entire setup.

The munite you start getting promotions and you end up earning more that the husband, he automatically feels inferior and you my sister self distructs.

How about we let them do the job of providing. Catering for your wife is not a burden, no. As long as she attends to all her responsibilities.

You have spoken well my sister...But pardon me to smile at all four genders....Please oh...

Anyways, the moment a lady has pay, it induces her heart to believe the lover is after her money, this would have been avoided if she didn't have a stockpile of it, that could have been channeled into upkeep of the family alongside hubby's income..

Now the issue is stockpiled money makes a lady feel insecure in the relationship, while an insecure or secure man would receive the heat of he emotions and this tilt would strain the relationship. So back to the basics, since it feels fair enough to say stockpiled money is the culprit, is it then fair to absolve every financial responsibility from a working woman?

makydebbie:
That'll be cheating. His money is our money same with mine as our money too. If we start holding our money because we worked for it individually, then the oneness in our marriage evaporates.

A Ghanian? What are u doing n Nairaland?

CEEcey:


A husband that depends on his wife's money is a disgrace to men

My money is mine alone and I can only decide to give him if he asks

Besides isn't he suppose to be the head of the family
His money is ours.

Tell me y ur marriage will not fail. With this r mentality...
I pray my daughter will not have dis kind of reasoning..
Many ladies enter marriage with the mentality of Wat to collect not Wat to give.
People like did lady d day she will give hubby 50k d whole world will know and will not respect d man...

I pray ladies like her remain single for life instead of bring misery to a man with think devilish mentality..

jagugu88li:
I beg to differ my sister.

The problem is we (all 4 genders.....females, males, gays and lesbians ) tend to go back and forth concerning family standards. We call on 50/50 rules then expect females and lesbians to take it like that. If you give a lady one resposibility that makes her look equal to a man, she automatically bombs the entire setup.

The munite you start getting promotions and you end up earning more that the husband, he automatically feels inferior and you my sister self distructs.

How about we let them do the job of providing. Catering for your wife is not a burden, no. As long as she attends to all her responsibilities.

My dear, any woman who earns more than her husband and disrespects him has always had pride in her and NEVER LOVED HIM. More over, a couple can't spend equally in a family, the man does more of that, unless the wife is better of. My point is if a wife works too, she should have some expenditures she could sort on her own. From the moment you start personalizing your earnings, every other thing may become private too.
Btw, did u say 4 genders?

hooklover:


Tell me y ur marriage will not fail. With this r mentality...
I pray my daughter will not have dis kind of reasoning..
Many ladies enter marriage with the mentality of Wat to collect not Wat to give.
People like did lady d day she will give hubby 50k d whole world will know and will not respect d man...

I pray ladies like her remain single for life instead of bring misery to a man with think devilish mentality..

And it's mentality like this that makes us have increasing rate of divorce

CEEcey:


A husband that depends on his wife's money is a disgrace to men

My money is mine alone and I can only decide to give him if he asks

Besides isn't he suppose to be the head of the family
His money is ours.

Such post is why we have many failed marriages lately. Change while u still can

There is no a definate answer to this issue. There are many ways to the topic. There diffent types of marriage involved. Christian, islamic,traditionalist type and marriage. If we are to look at itbiblically, it is TSA. What God had joined together let no one put assunder. They are no longer 2 but 1. Read Gen 2:24, Mat 19:5-6. But if you are not in Christ, it may be too difficult for the couple to practise.

Iamzik:

Haba guy
You got zero chill....

I think she deserves it.

- Personals
- Communals

There is room in marriage for both. Primary responsibility for providing rests on the man, while the woman is helpmate and homemaker. This is the Biblically ordained order in the house.

tescoman90:


How Zuckerberg and any nairaland user take relate.?

Though it’s not my duty to educate you but I’ll throw you a freebie because I hate seeing educated illiterates.

http://www.dictionary.com/browse/figure-of-speech

Respect55:

Such post is why we have many failed marriages lately. Change while u still can

She’s really not like that.

Probably just Nairaland chest puffing. I hope.

supersystemsnig:


I tired dating a lady that wasn't from a rich home in a bid to escape form the insecurities many well-to-do ladies have, and there were baggages i couldn't deal with..It's such a sensitive matter. Can't wrap my mind around it. Date the not-too-well-to-do, they feel insecure, approach the well-to-do, insecurities still remain...Darn...

I'm telling ya bro!

it ain't worth it

CEEcey:


A husband that depends on his wife's money is a disgrace to men

My money is mine alone and I can only decide to give him if he asks

Besides isn't he suppose to be the head of the family
His money is ours.

This is why I hate Nigerian girls with a passion. Go to Scandinavia and see how their women treat their men. They give you everything, no strings attached. What man will not give such a woman half of his kingdom if not all of it?

femi4love:


My belief is that marriage is meant to be a partnership.

I'm still wondering why Nigerians believe that when it comes to spending and other responsibilities, then the men should bear it all, but when it comes to other issues that don't involve money or stress, both wives and husbands are equal. Anyway, it looks like it's an African thing. Come to the western world and face realities.

And for your information, spending all your hard-earned money while your wife keeps hers does not guarantee respect from her. There are other things that would earn you respect from your wife aside that. No matter how much you're spending, your respect will diminish once you're found to be unfaithful to your wife. Ask married people

Noted

Money matters get as e be, even Jesus couldn't trust Judas with it

And you are supposed to be?

Augustap:

Btw, did u say 4 genders?

supersystemsnig:

You have spoken well my sister...But pardon me to smile at all four genders....Please oh...

So back to the basics, since it feels fair enough to say stockpiled money is the culprit, is it then fair to absolve every financial responsibility from a working woman?

Good thing is you noticed the genders, now comes my point.

These genders clearly tell you of what we have created of ourselves the minute we moved away from the basic manner of living.....family, man and woman. It is instilled within a lady to be selfish until she is desperate to marry, then she can promise all sorts of good behaviour.

Your question.....In my culture, a man doesn't marry whilst under his father's roof. Meaning, if he where to lose his job, which in unlikely, then his wife would obviously help. Mind the word help. Its more of a cultural thing in my case.

gabinogem:
As long as marriage institution is concerned, men will always be the breadwinner... It's his responsibity to provide for the household, why his wife assist in any little way she can. Unless you decide never to go into such institution, then you can start thinking of sharing responsibility 50/50.

I love it when real men speak!

According to Islamic principles a wife money belong to herself only except if she decided willingly to share the money with her husband.
The husband must provide everything for the family but if she agreed to assist then no wahala

I think this is a debate no man can win and no woman can lose.
Men have been losing the same argument for centuries.
In recent years, women have even changed the narrative to; its "our money" if you make more money than she does, its "her money" if she makes more money than you and STILL"her money" if you jointly make the money and you must seek her consent to buy even a bottle of beer!

femi4love:


My belief is that marriage is meant to be a partnership.

I'm still wondering why Nigerians believe that when it comes to spending and other responsibilities, then the men should bear it all, but when it comes to other issues that don't involve money or stress, both wives and husbands are equal. Anyway, it looks like it's an African thing. Come to the western world and face realities.

And for your information, spending all your hard-earned money while your wife keeps hers does not guarantee respect from her. There are other things that would earn you respect from your wife aside that. No matter how much you're spending, your respect will diminish once you're found to be unfaithful to your wife. Ask married people

Don't mind him. It amazes me that people still live by this traditional, archaic values, simply because they're "sacred", customary, or something.

Is it the destiny of the human race to stagnate? All rules under the sun were made by man. All laws are our invention. If we see the flaws in the values of our ancestors, we modify them. If they can't be modified, we discard them and replace them entirely.

The patriachial system is outdated. It's pointless and counter-productive to remain mired in the grotesque obstinacy of adhering to it.

The progress and glory of the human race lies in doing what works, no matter what kind of REVOLUTION it would be sparking, not standing on what was established by people of the PAST that we have all surpassed.

The academic community recognizes Plato as a genius of the highest order, but he isn't considered infallible. We in the modern day can question and invalidate his ideas because we have access to 2400 years of accumulated knowledge and history that WERE NOT AVAILABLE TO HIM.

Patriachy is bonkers in the 21st century, so we're discarding it! Finito.

---

Tozara

makydebbie:
That'll be cheating. His money is our money same with mine as our money too. If we start holding our money because we worked for it individually, then the oneness in our marriage evaporates.

Funny. Most times ladies think 50-50, its divorce.

DonCandido:
I think this is a debate no man can win and no woman can lose.
Men have been losing the same argument for centuries.
In recent years, women have even changed the narrative to; its "our money" if you make more money than she does, its "her money" if she makes more money than you and STILL"her money" if you jointly make the money and you must seek her consent to buy even a bottle of beer!

Cultural customs can solve this. 21century, marrying "legally" using your signature and whatnot has killed many cultures and made me believe I am the same as you. Who is to blame? Lets find the person and arrange thier head

Coolgent:
According to Islamic principles a wife money belong to herself only except if she decided willingly to share the money with her husband.
The husband must provide everything for the family but if she agreed to assist then no wahala

Islam is a belief system invented by an illiterate Arab lunatic in the desert of Arabia 1400 YEARS ago.

Nobody in the 21st century should be living by his batshiit codes. Capiche, Mallam?