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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / I Need Some Relationship Advice (1445 Views)
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I Need Some Relationship Advice by Wishmore: 5:48am On Nov 04, 2017 |
So I’ve been dating my gf for over 20 months, we’ve been cool, loving and all. Two months a go, she was down with ulcer( chronic ulcer pains) and have been taking medications since then... Along the line, she started complaining that I don’t care about her health and all I do is to give her money for drugs and just call to tell her she’ll be fine. On my part I most confess that the way I call/text reduced solely because I recently got a new job and still in the process of mastering it.(tho i still keep good communication but not as b4) I explained all this to her but she wasn’t contented. So there’s this guy she’s been taking to for a while (was just back from his masters). Initially she tells me about how he’s her friend and that he’s doing his masters and all. I was cool cus it’s healthy if she keep a few male friends. Along the line, I started noticing how they’re now close and she can how they call n text each other so much! I confronted her and she lied he’s not the one... not until I found out n she agreed and said they’re just friends. I was still skeptical about everything and I was fast loosing my trust for her. Now she does stuff “low key” with the guy, the guy is back in the country and they’ve met a couple of times! Yet she maintains he’s not an issue. Two days ago, I went to see her in a bit to clear the air and bring her close. She was all cool with the idea and even said she doesn’t have anything to do with the guy again that they don’t even call or text again. I was happy (relived) but one thing was telling me to verify. So at that point, I cloned her WhatsApp (was a bad idea I guess) and left. Loll. Just few mins after I left, she texted the guy and was like; “Hi”, “how did it go?”, “John I am so bored and lonely” I was shocked! This was the same girl that said she no longer talks to him and all. And to crown everything, she called me a few hours later and thanked me for coming over with all the love talks etc. Still in shock. So she chated me up on WhatsApp and was like she already misses me and she can’t wait to see me again. I just replied her with the screenshot and left. |
Re: I Need Some Relationship Advice by Wishmore: 5:53am On Nov 04, 2017 |
She started calling n calling... I later picked and she was like it’s not what I think and all... note; she has lied about this guy over 30 times. I clearly told her to cut off the guy that he’s an issue in this relationship but she declined and was like he’s not an hindrance and he’s just a friend she can talk to. I clearly told her we can’t continue unless she cuts him off. Again, she declined. And was still begging. Guys, am confused. I love her. But can’t stand her confining in another guy. She blames it on the fact that I stopped caring. I need your advice on what to do. Mind the typos. |
Re: I Need Some Relationship Advice by ABBkelvin(m): 5:53am On Nov 04, 2017 |
She is weighing both of you and playing never put all your egg in one basket game. Please never ever go back to her. I know it's hard but, find yourself a new girl and start all over again. |
Re: I Need Some Relationship Advice by Bibi294(f): 5:58am On Nov 04, 2017 |
Hmmm.... Give her time... If dhrs still persistent with the guy... Then breakup If you jilt her now, She'll definitely run into that guys handsnd that makes you a coward.... You fight for what you have! |
Re: I Need Some Relationship Advice by dollyjoy(f): 6:02am On Nov 04, 2017 |
SHe is simply using the guy to fill the void your new work created. Don't be so busy to the point of having little time for people you claim to love. 2 Likes |
Re: I Need Some Relationship Advice by Nwodosis(m): 6:05am On Nov 04, 2017 |
Have you ever experienced Heartbreak, if no, get set because it is LOADING! |
Re: I Need Some Relationship Advice by Wishmore: 6:07am On Nov 04, 2017 |
dollyjoy: Thanks for your advice. I’m now a pro in my field and hv made this clear to her and even showing it. My point is why she still keeps the guy. All she does is to blame it on the fact that my care reduced. I really can’t stand it. |
Re: I Need Some Relationship Advice by Wishmore: 6:09am On Nov 04, 2017 |
ABBkelvin: Moving on is hard! So Hard! |
Re: I Need Some Relationship Advice by Heloct(f): 6:16am On Nov 04, 2017 |
Heartbreak is brutal. The earlier you admit it, the better. |
Re: I Need Some Relationship Advice by Wishmore: 6:16am On Nov 04, 2017 |
Bibi294: Hmm okay. But here, I don’t have the patience of time. ![]() |
Re: I Need Some Relationship Advice by omobamatrix: 6:17am On Nov 04, 2017 |
Alry |
Re: I Need Some Relationship Advice by Wishmore: 6:17am On Nov 04, 2017 |
Heloct: I am weak, but strong. |
Re: I Need Some Relationship Advice by shortgun(m): 6:29am On Nov 04, 2017 |
You acted too early by sending her that screenshot; you should've been a little patient to know wots really between them but you've lost that opportunity. With my many years of experience with females I can tell you that d said guy is banging d day light out of your girl. The most dangerous type of girls are the ones that lies and the ones that can beg for Africa when you want to breakup with them. Don't prolong the doomsday and ur suffering end it now. 4 Likes |
Re: I Need Some Relationship Advice by dulaman: 6:44am On Nov 04, 2017 |
shortgun: Yea. I thought so too. He should have waited to gather more evidence and be sure. I guess na love. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: I Need Some Relationship Advice by Lalas247(f): 6:46am On Nov 04, 2017 |
Grow a pair will ya ! ..... |
Re: I Need Some Relationship Advice by Nobody: 6:58am On Nov 04, 2017 |
First rule bro, never trust a woman, you can love her, live with her care for her but never trust her. A girl see you trusting her as a weakness, Look brother, girls will tell you to be patient, but the thing is, this girl has proved a point to you, she will never be satisfied, your not married and Shes already saying your not giving her time. I think you should have a sit down with her, dont react, just tell her you want to talk, then ask her to tell you every thing, from the beginning. Don't interrupt her, remind her that you know, but you guess she should have a chance. Once she's through lying tell her that you love her but you haven't seen any girl other than her, you care about her and your want her to be happy, so you'll let her be happy with her guy, that you guess a man who can be happy with another man's girl will trust her completely and probably marry her. Then leave and block her number for a week pls this is the hard part, you might get messages like "I'll do something to myself if you don't answer me" call confirm shes OK then block her again. She has a chance and a choice, she will try to get back to you and ditch him of her accord or she will stay with him. That choice is the only thing that can save the relationship. She has to let go of him by herself,am sure your tired of thinking what she's doing when your not there. 4 Likes |
Re: I Need Some Relationship Advice by Nobody: 7:04am On Nov 04, 2017 |
Wishmore: She's still in love with yu. Just experimenting and filing a void. Talk to her folks.Simple. They'll talk senses to her, and she'll be back |
Re: I Need Some Relationship Advice by Nobody: 7:09am On Nov 04, 2017 |
KreativGenius: Which kind of experiment, the girl has been warned, told, explained to. She made up her mind to lie to him and tell the other guy everything, it's a shift of alliance and he has to kill it now or lose her, the trick here is that she has to think its her choice. Or do you think he will live very long after she keep on with her various experiments? |
Re: I Need Some Relationship Advice by Nobody: 7:13am On Nov 04, 2017 |
donsimo: Na their way. Drifting. The guy's in live with her. That means something, At some point ladies act this way |
Re: I Need Some Relationship Advice by Nobody: 7:13am On Nov 04, 2017 |
The heartbreak that's coming is doing Press-Ups, she is even making it worse by begging you... making you think that there's hope when there's nothing for you. Follow your gut, you know the right thing to do and do it very fast. |
Re: I Need Some Relationship Advice by Nobody: 7:16am On Nov 04, 2017 |
KreativGenius: I know, but it mustn't go to far, the girl is just giving excuse, she's not saying she's wrong, meaning she has no reason to stop. She's just blaming him for not being there, as if that's reason enough. |
Re: I Need Some Relationship Advice by Nobody: 7:17am On Nov 04, 2017 |
donsimo: That's true anymore. But the guy is unable to delete the love from his heart, the option is to find a way to get to her and resolve the crisis and what's causing it. Simple |
Re: I Need Some Relationship Advice by Nobody: 7:20am On Nov 04, 2017 |
i just laugh when a guy spends on a merely gf not a wife and later regret der act, and some lovey dovey and still will later turn soar it only pple learned about this fact_____------''no body owe you anything', 'and u don't have somebody for ur self only' then they can see this part of this world in another perspective ![]() |
Re: I Need Some Relationship Advice by Nobody: 7:26am On Nov 04, 2017 |
Bibi294:fight for wetin my sister? That girl is playing games.. I'd walk away if it's me.. 'seven billion people in the world trying to fit in' - justin bieber. |
Re: I Need Some Relationship Advice by Nobody: 7:29am On Nov 04, 2017 |
Luxuryconsult: This is the traditional mindset of people going into dating. It's wrong. He should man up, up his game and win his love. It's stressing chasing one girl alone let alone jumping from one to the next 2 Likes |
Re: I Need Some Relationship Advice by dingbang(m): 7:29am On Nov 04, 2017 |
Cut her off |
Re: I Need Some Relationship Advice by Nobody: 7:30am On Nov 04, 2017 |
RETIREDMUMU: Chair man, abeg, op has a problem, it's not easy right now, his job may suffer. He needs a way to sort him out, not a change in philosophy right now. After this issue we can debate this new topic. |
Re: I Need Some Relationship Advice by Nobody: 7:31am On Nov 04, 2017 |
KreativGenius:my brother there is no problem anywhere, the lady is just bringing that up delibrately. Girls can be anything when they are willing. A girl that can tolerate a mad man when they are truely in love with him.. So na lie she dey lie say the op no care or so. I'd adviced the OP to try and start letting go of the love little by little, maybe he should hook up with someone that can help him with that so incase the devil that wants to use the lady eventually manifest itself.. The effect won' be that much on him.. That's more like handwritten on the wall.. It's gradually appearing. 1 Like |
Re: I Need Some Relationship Advice by Nobody: 7:34am On Nov 04, 2017 |
Luxuryconsult: You're right sha. On a second thought, you're right and i stand with you. Guys will make room for a guy they truly love. She wasn't truly into him, or the love gradually started to fade. Perhaps a dodged bullet |
Re: I Need Some Relationship Advice by Nobody: 7:34am On Nov 04, 2017 |
KreativGenius: I know the feeling, I don't have strength for another girl, I can't start from scratch with another babe. Even the thought dey weak me. That's y I work on my babe, I know she's not Fort Knox. But she's close enough, and I shield her as much as I can. Op. You mustn't do like she means everything, girls mid behave when they know that, give her a chance the shut her out. She has to fight to be with you. It will take her mind off the guy. You may even involve another babe in the matter. 1 Like |
Re: I Need Some Relationship Advice by Nobody: 7:35am On Nov 04, 2017 |
donsimo: bro oga, this is based on his issues, it only yo stop seeing u owe any body anything, and u don't have somebody only to ur self, ur love life will not later going soar like we seeing marriage, relationship today, think about it mister ![]() |
Re: I Need Some Relationship Advice by Nobody: 7:35am On Nov 04, 2017 |
donsimo: I agree |
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