yeyerolling:
ur forefathers worshiped idols dat needed human sacrifice. Y u self no dey do am

Bros how you take know my forefathers.... my forefathers make Christian since this world start

TheSuperNerd:
The real answer: I believe paying bride price is a form of traditional/cultural formality to show that the lady being given away by her family in marriage is now "owned" by the man marrying her. It is also to show courtesy to the family of the lady as a small way of saying, "Take this as a token for all your efforts exerted and for all you invested in your daughter to become the woman she is now"

Note that, this bride price thing goes way back to the days of our fore fathers and uhmmm... Well... Traditional courtesy is the just what this bride price is all about. In some parts of Asia like in India, women pay brideprice for men... Loolll... What will y'all say about that?

Anyway shaa, in a final nutshelp on this point, Brideprice is just a traditional way of showing courtesy to the family and appreciating them in a special little way for the efforts they exerted in bringing up a lady ripe for marriage. Note that the amount paid is NEVER the true worth of the woman... It is only a token to symbolise that the lady is indeed worthy and priceless.... And a token of appreciation for all the parents and family did and contributed to making her bloom into the lady shevis now.






The sad reality: To mundane men and men with a warped sense of what marriage actually is....this is what brideprice is (to them)...

Brideprice is a way of buying a woman off her family so that she will have no say in his own house. I bought her dammit! So she should worship at my feet naa.... You think say e easy to pay One or two milla for woman head... Omo pack well ooo... I don buy am so make she behave. I can do whatever I want now

Brideprice is a what some men pay to use in arguments later with his wife to intimidate her into submission. Such a man will say, "Listen up woman! You have no right to tell me that what I did is wrong! You have no right to question how I run this family... I dont even need your advice sef. Have you forgotten how much I paid on your head? So swerve and know your place woman! You are a property! My property! and you have no say here"

Brideprice is also what is paid by these bunch of baby-men for EGO's sake also to be used in arguments again so that it will be said to the woman... For instance..., "Bia!! I dont owe a dime on your head okay! So you will give me sex whenever I want it, whether you are tired or not inugo?"


Lastly, and this is possibly the most cynical.... Some men actually do this and will use it as a way of measuring the woman's worth.
"Listen up Nneka! I paid Three million on your head alone minus expenses incurred for the wedding and all... Three million is what you are worth so biko, don't be running your mouth to me when I have more than 50 million for my akant inugo? I can buy and bring in 20 of pyu onto this house and nothing will happen! So sit down and mind your place woman!"




Conclusion: It is tradition where I come from to pay a bride price for the ladies. But let us try respect and honor the true reason for doing so and neevr use that as the yardstick to judge our wife's worth. I know of some people happily married today who never had to drag the matter of brideprice or even paid sef. Some didn't have to even pay brideprice, yet they are are quite okay in their marriage

Brideprice Or NOT..... Marriage is sacred and it works best when the man treats his woman like the Queen she us to him and when the Woman honors her man as her King. Finito.

You make it look like the man is always at fault when it has been known to be abused by families.

Funkybabee:



Wonder why some people reason and talk as if na them know all,Na u go tell us ur own and waka why calling other human as a goat becuz of her tradition



Oga ooooo

.
NO MIND That aboki ojare. Them even get tradition? He think say na cow matter we de discuss here. Terrorists!

Ofcos some families abuse this practice. That is no news at all. But in my post I am most specific about who pays the brideprice and why it is done.... Also, I address the warped mentality of some men on this issue. Always using it to beat down their wife's value. Really not manly if you ask me.

WhyAmISoQuiet:
You make it look like the man is always at fault when it has been known to be abused by families.

Fmartin:
Why do one have to pay bride price?

Nairalanders i need your views

It's our tradition.

Proudlyblack:

You just nailed it

I think I am falling in love.
Let's fix a date that I will come and so your parents to pay groom's price

Awwwwwwwwn.... Falling in the L word just like that??

Lady, what you waiting for huh? Take the next flight in, book a hotel, then bring the sign-on fee and give it to my agents (parents)... Then the party can begin from there aiit....

XhosaNostra:
In some cultures, it is believed that once a woman is married, she is no longer part of her biological family, but a new daughter/ family member to her husband's family. So by paying a bride price, you're showing gratitude to the people who raised her, fed her, sent her to school & instilled some values in her. They prepared her just for you & your family, so you must give them something back as a reward for all the work they had to put in. At least that's how we look at it in my culture. In the olden days you couldn't even run back home if your husband is troubling you, they'd send you back so you can go discuss your issues with your "new mother".

but after the husband has taken her away from her family, and bring her to his own family. why will some family of bride always put wahala on the husband head. I have a friend, after he wedded, her wife family always bring one problem or the other to solve for them. even his parents wahala no reach quarter of that bride parents. Why is it like that?

LadyHal1:




it is the dowry dats paid to d bride....bride price is to the family

Thanks for the correction

princeade86:
but after the husband has taken her away from her family, and bring her to his own family. why will some family of bride always put wahala on the husband head. I have a friend, after he wedded, her wife family always bring one problem or the other to solve for them. even his parents wahala no reach quarter of that bride parents. Why is it like that?

I really don't know. Perhaps they're quarrelsome people or they're taking advantage of his good nature. IDK. Families are not the same lol.

XhosaNostra:


I really don't know. Perhaps they're quarrelsome people or they're taking advantage of his good nature. IDK. Families are not the same lol.

thanks, but I think bride price is a way of making money for some family. even many member of the family that don't know the lady from the day she was born, will want to collect something also.

TheSuperNerd:
The real answer: I believe paying bride price is a form of traditional/cultural formality to show that the lady being given away by her family in marriage is now "owned" by the man marrying her. It is also to show courtesy to the family of the lady as a small way of saying, "Take this as a token for all your efforts exerted and for all you invested in your daughter to become the woman she is now"

Note that, this bride price thing goes way back to the days of our fore fathers and uhmmm... Well... Traditional courtesy is the just what this bride price is all about. In some parts of Asia like in India, women pay brideprice for men... Loolll... What will y'all say about that?

Anyway shaa, in a final nutshelp on this point, Brideprice is just a traditional way of showing courtesy to the family and appreciating them in a special little way for the efforts they exerted in bringing up a lady ripe for marriage. Note that the amount paid is NEVER the true worth of the woman... It is only a token to symbolise that the lady is indeed worthy and priceless.... And a token of appreciation for all the parents and family did and contributed to making her bloom into the lady shevis now.






The sad reality: To mundane men and men with a warped sense of what marriage actually is....this is what brideprice is (to them)...

Brideprice is a way of buying a woman off her family so that she will have no say in his own house. I bought her dammit! So she should worship at my feet naa.... You think say e easy to pay One or two milla for woman head... Omo pack well ooo... I don buy am so make she behave. I can do whatever I want now

Brideprice is a what some men pay to use in arguments later with his wife to intimidate her into submission. Such a man will say, "Listen up woman! You have no right to tell me that what I did is wrong! You have no right to question how I run this family... I dont even need your advice sef. Have you forgotten how much I paid on your head? So swerve and know your place woman! You are a property! My property! and you have no say here"

Brideprice is also what is paid by these bunch of baby-men for EGO's sake also to be used in arguments again so that it will be said to the woman... For instance..., "Bia!! I dont owe a dime on your head okay! So you will give me sex whenever I want it, whether you are tired or not inugo?"


Lastly, and this is possibly the most cynical.... Some men actually do this and will use it as a way of measuring the woman's worth.
"Listen up Nneka! I paid Three million on your head alone minus expenses incurred for the wedding and all... Three million is what you are worth so biko, don't be running your mouth to me when I have more than 50 million for my akant inugo? I can buy and bring in 20 of pyu onto this house and nothing will happen! So sit down and mind your place woman!"




Conclusion: It is tradition where I come from to pay a bride price for the ladies. But let us try respect and honor the true reason for doing so and neevr use that as the yardstick to judge our wife's worth. I know of some people happily married today who never had to drag the matter of brideprice or even paid sef. Some didn't have to even pay brideprice, yet they are are quite okay in their marriage

Brideprice Or NOT..... Marriage is sacred and it works best when the man treats his woman like the Queen she us to him and when the Woman honors her man as her King. Finito.

You try to hard to please.



Quit the nonesense and don't impose your ideologies on the world, you're not the first person to go to school

In medieval times, females were regarded as mere commodities and it was perfectly normal to literally pay a price to purchase them. As civilization evolved, the literal purchase was toned down to mere symbolism.
Just like it was difficult to completely stamp out slave trading (buying and selling of humans), it will be herculean to completely do away with this meaningless practice of bride-price payment.
Just like people gave their lives in the bitter struggle to preserve slavery all in the name of 'preserving tradition', many today are also ready to die and kill if necessary if anyone dares attempts to stop their 'beloved culture of paying bride price'.

If you try to engage them on what bride price is all about, they have nothing tangible to tell you other than 'tradition', 'culture'.
Ours is a simple-minded society, meaningless things like bride price are held sacred.

MissRaine69:
Best described as payment made in "exchange" for the bride's family's loss of her labor and fertility within her kinship group. It was also a gift from the groom to his new bride's family. In this sense it is a substantial gesture of goodwill in the forging of the new unity of the lineages.

The custom is aimed at bringing the two families together, fostering mutual respect, and indicating that the man is capable of supporting his wife financially and emotionally. I heard a story where the in-laws asked for a Mac Book Air amongst other things.

Now couples start married life in debt which was never what bride price was about. It’s now an actual financial barrier for young man who struggle with the financial requirements.

It’s now an actual financial barrier for young man who struggle with the financial requirements.

WhyAmISoQuiet:
You make it look like the man is always at fault when it has been known to be abused by families.

Are you minding that silly ass licker

MDsambo:


In Islam, women are not owned by their families and should not be traded with. If bride price is paid to the bride's family, then I think that makes her no difference with a goat being sold in the market.

If one pays bride price according to Islam, do they pay according to tradition?
-
As per, are you saying that Islam (religion) is the standard and overrules village tradition?
-
For Nigerian Christians we have 2 masters to answer. According to Christianity, you don't have to pay any bride price. (That's what Oyibos do).
But we all have villages and cultures. So before you even start speaking about Christian (not paying bride price) , you will have to answer bride price by tradition.

princeade86:
thanks, but I think bride price is a way of making money from some family. even many member of the family that don't know the lady from the day she was born, will want to collect something also.

True, it is a money making scheme. More like a return on their investment Remember that they're "losing" a valuable member of their family, while your family is gaining & also receiving all that they've spent years cultivating in her.

chocberry:





You try to hard to please.



Quit the nonesense and don't impose your ideologies on the world, you're not the first person to go to school

Lol...... But wait ooo... Do I actually know you? Have we ever interacted on NL before? I think the answer is NO. So where did you get your off-point comment?

My post is a reflection of the truth and what I have carefully observed in my short time on earth so far.... If you don't like it, just ignore it. Not to come to my mention and tell me to not express my thoughts.

And what does my schooling have to do with all of this? Jeeezzz...

Ma'am or Sir... I think you need a lobotomy.

Just read thru your comment to a guy who have never interacted with you and you will understand that maybe you have a problem you need to sort out. Adios....

In Our tradition which is Hausa what you may consider as a "bride price" which we have something similar to it is called (Sadaqi) meaning Gift if translated. Its something given to the bride family as a token for showing appreciation. In our culture we have a saying which is *yabah kyauta tokweci*

MDsambo:


Where I come from, bride price is paid to the bride not her parents.

Where's that please?

chocberry:



Are you minding that silly ass licker

Hey! Image defamer... Did someone put you up to this? Or you just have this personal vendetta against me?

The funny thing is I don't even f**king know that you exist mehn.... Trying to gain my attention or something? Loolll

Boyyyy, some people are really really frustrated. So you just cannot stand the fact that a guy can actually be this balanced with the truth and is not out to please anybody? Is that your big problem?

So a guy who speaks on the ills of men actually does so to please the females right? Or is it because of some lady who mentioned something about falling in love with my comment and you are like... "Sh*t, this guy's tactic is working. He is just asslicking the female folks and trying so hard to gain their attention..." Hahahahahahahahaha....

Lady or mister or whatever you are... You really need to wake up okay... because I ain't cut out for that childish nonsense aiit...

I am who I am... And I believe in the balance of opinions and exposition of truth pertaining to the male and female folks...

So just deal with it okay instead of going around trying so hard to defame my character. Thanks and Godbless...

XhosaNostra:
In some cultures, it is believed that once a woman is married, she is no longer part of her biological family, but a new daughter/ family member to her husband's family. So by paying a bride price, you're showing gratitude to the people who raised her, fed her, sent her to school & instilled some values in her. They prepared her just for you & your family, so you must give them something back as a reward for all the work they had to put in. At least that's how we look at it in my culture. In the olden days you couldn't even run back home if your husband is troubling you, they'd send you back so you can go discuss your issues with your "new mother".

its merely to satisfy the greed of in laws who would refuse to bless your union with their daughter without gift or "appreciation"

brownhawk:
its merely to satisfy the greed of in laws who would refuse to bless your union with their daughter without gift or "appreciation"

Yes na, pay up Nothing is free in life, especially a whole human being that's been fed etc. If she was single, she'd be working for her family.

Proudlyngwa:

The real question should be, why are we still paying bride price.

It's just a token of appreciation to her parents for making her a woman.. That's all

Recently, some parents now use bride price as a way of extorting money from anyone who is willing to marry their daughter

[quote author=XhosaNostra post=65612836]

Yes na, pay up Nothing is free in life, especially a whole human being that's been fed etc. If she was single, she'd be working for her family.[/quotewhat are u saying. Are u saying the bride price will feed them till they die]

[quote author=brownhawk post=65613190][/quote]

Depends on the amount Some brides go as high as a million rands. I don't know how much that is in nairas . But the cost of living is too high, so they up the ante to make sure they live comfortably

*Edited *

That's 30 million 571 nairas.

XhosaNostra:


True, it is a money making scheme. More like a return on their investment Remember that they're "losing" a valuable member of their family, while your family is gaining & also receiving all that they've spent years cultivating in her.

God bless you jare. You have sense, not the ass lickers troubling the thread

chocberry:


God bless you jare. You have sense, not the ass lickers troubling the thread

XhosaNostra:

Careful dealing with Nigerians, many are ass lickers

XhosaNostra:


Depends on the amount Some brides go as high as a million rands. I don't know how much that is in nairas . But the cost of living is too high, so they up the ante to make sure they live comfortably

*Edited *

That's 30 million 571 nairas.

they want to live comfortably by leeching and blackmailing me. If they knew me like my mother they would know that blackmail of bride price will only encourage me to do my worst. If they wanted to live comfortably at old age they should have prepared at their young age

chocberry:



Careful dealing with Nigerians, many are ass lickers

Awww, don't worry, I've been here long enough to sift through the rubble

brownhawk:
they want to live comfortably by leeching and blackmailing me. If they knew me like my mother they would know that blackmail of bride price will only encourage me to do my worst. If they wanted to live comfortably at old age they should have prepared at their young age

Dude, it's your choice. Nobody is forcing you to marry. Let the people with deep pockets show gratitude to the elders.

Culin:
Just culture I guess. Because 200h, 1k, 5k-50k+ can never be enough to "buy" a woman.

Of course we know it's culture. What we want to know is the meaning or importance of such cultural practice.