Dear Nairalanders,
I don't even know where exactly to start from, as the issue is so pressing.
I have a brother who is 38 years old now but his behaviours seem to be too inferior to that of a normal under 18 guy. Almost everyone in our family (nuclear) seems to have had enough of his foolish & childish attitudes. As Yoruba adage would say, “Ọmọ ẹni kì í burú títí, ká fi fún ẹkùn pajẹ ” – “One’s child cannot be bad to the extent of throwing him/her to the Leopard to devour”. They now let him be; only praying to God for divine & better transformation. Listed below are some things about him:

1. He is still living with our mother in a house which was built by our elder brother. Although the owner does not live there. He was living at his rented place before the completion of the building & he turned a deaf ear to every advice given to stop him from moving into the house. We all know he'd become more lazy if he does not have to pay for rent any longer.

2. He does not take his job (panel beating) so serious at all. This brother could be so funny; as he would prefer staying home & watching TV shows whenever there's light. On his way to shop, he would sometimes return home if he hears "Up Nepa". He gives customers different excuses on phone.

3. People regret helping him to secure any job as his attitude towards the job would look as if you are only forcing the job on him. I think one's commitment to the work helps to keep the job. How do people help you to keep your job?

4. He has no plan for marriage at all. Well, I have started pitying his future wife because he's not disciplined at all. None of my sisters prays to have his like as a husband. I strongly pray he changes for better before getting married.

5. His eating habit is so disgusting. He lacks table manner too much. Imagine a person of that age licking a leaf after unwrapping moimoi. Does being an artisan take manners away? No

6. He loves attending parties. He's the only one, among the siblings, who loves social life beyond normal. He has no savings. Some of his friends are also sick of his unruly attitudes to work. I know many of his friends (co-artisans) who have made it from same work.

Just to mention few,,,,
They have seated him down & talked sense into his ears but he would not heed.
And to himself, he's so wise. What grieves me so much is that he does not seem regretful at all. Apart from people who do not really know him, I think he only has my respect as my elder brother. Please,,,, how do we save him from self-destructive habits?

Maybe PMB is referring to this brother of mine

GrammarNazi1, I hope you do your work here too,,,,

This elder brother na Agbaya ooo ... I'm sorry, but at 38 years, there is little to nothing anyone can do to make him want to be useful to himself

Abeg! Panel Beating na work for Nigeria? I personally don't consider that as a job except if I'm misunderstanding what he does for a living.

@38, and that he hasn't done anything meaningful with his life has made him complacent at the level he's at. He's got nothing to loose and cares less about giving meaning to his life. Your bro lacks purpose, motivation, and drive. There are people like him who came to escort others in the world.

He's a chronic masturbator.

I'll advice you to get him a female friend, so that he'll start comporting and pretending to be sensible whenever he's with the lady.

He has lost focused.

consultancy:
This elder brother na Agbaya ooo ... I'm sorry, but at 38 years, there is little to nothing anyone can do to make him want to be useful to himself

If he desires to change, and is motivated, he could change in a space of 5 years and that would put him at 43. Shebi, they said "Life begins at 40".

I know he isn't the reading type but who knows; he might decide to read if something captures his attention on the book. I'll suggest op buys him motivational books, get written biography of great minds who started life late and above all, pray for him.

kimbraa:
If he desires to change, and is motivated, he could change in a space of 5 years and that would put him at 43. Shebi, they said "Life begins at 40".

I know he isn't the reading type but who knows; he might decide to read if something captures his attention on the book. I'll suggest op buys him motivational books, get written biography of great minds who started life late and above all, pray for him.

let me start by laughing .. you need to go bk n read all the OP has written about this his brother. I know people like him, what they wish for is to be landlords, danfo or taxi owners, den sit at home daily while their returns come to them

If your 38 years old brother does not work and always stay at home to watch TV, then how does he feed and cloth himself? Definitely, your family is supporting his laziness by providing food, shelter and money for him. Deny him food in the house and he will be forced to work due to severe hunger.

Brain needs rewiring.


His dopamine exposure levels are alarmingly high. He could beating his JT like every 5 minutes. No reward for actual activities.

Your brother is at risk of becoming as useless as PMB. For now, him and GEJ are at the same spot.
So try to talk to him, boldly, about quitting PMO.

Those are signals that ones virtues has been used. You may say I'm too spiritual but believe me, that's how he'll continue to be nonchalant about everything in life. He'll be happy all about but nothing tangible will come out of his life until something is done.

He needs a life changing event to rewire his brain...

They say a fool at 40 is a fool forever, 2 years remaining and it's going to be forever. The first step is throwing him out of the house. Nothing like when a man has that sense that he's responsible for his rent and bills because if he stays there he will never help himself and if you guys don't do this he will soon bring a pregnant woman for you people to take care of and a child. Act fast Adegbenro7643

make him a bus owner. you can thank me later

Blonchilli:
They say a fool at 40 is a fool forever, 2 years remaining and it's going to be forever. The first step is throwing him out of the house. Nothing like when a man has that sense that he's responsible for his rent and bills because if he stays there he will never help himself and if you guys don't do this he will soon bring a pregnant woman for you people to take care of and a child. Act fast Adegbenro7643

My people are just being cautious so that it won't look as if we all hate him. And you know people can be funny in making rash judgment at times.

Thanks so much for the advice

edoman2016:
If your 38 years old brother does not work and always stay at home to watch TV, then how does he feed and cloth himself? Definitely, your family is supporting his laziness by providing food, shelter and money for him. Deny him food in the house and he will be forced to work due to severe hunger.

Nobody feeds him daily, although he has access to kitchen & we aren't that rich to think all is readily provided in the kitchen, so he goes hungry at times. He's a person whose interest is making money for just his daily bread, party & nothing more. No plans for future.

daviesblaze:
make him a bus owner. you can thank me later

Lol,,,,clubbing tinz

That would be the last thing to do for him.

Considering his habits, he could just give the bus out on installmental payment. All will be over when he finally spends the cash.

consultancy:
let me start by laughing .. you need to go bk n read all the OP has written about this his brother. I know people like him, what they wish for is to be landlords, danfo or taxi owners, den sit at home daily while their returns come to them

You are so right.


Na only great great grandparents remain to advise him.
Uncountable family meetings just because of him alone. He would pretend to be changing for better & few weeks later, he returns to his vomits.

I wish he were my younger brother, I would have enough to say. As it is now, I try to accord him some respect.

consultancy:
This elder brother na Agbaya ooo ... I'm sorry, but at 38 years, there is little to nothing anyone can do to make him want to be useful to himself

You needn't to be sorry. That is what he is. I wish I could say it to his face but it'd be disrespectful because he is not near to slowpoke

Adegbenro7643:
Lol,,,,clubbing tinz

That would be the last thing to do for him.

Considering his habits, he could just give the bus out on installmental payment. All will be over when he finally spends the cash.

better still, a 6 month vacation in kikiri prison might help reset his memory

daviesblaze:
better still, a 6 month vacation in kikiri prison might help reset his memory

Kirikiri bawo

God forbid

Who pays the bills in the house? NEPA, food and other maintenance? If he is at least able to pay bills, leave him alone. One day, he would consciously decide once he sees the need for a change.

I'm afraid there is nothing you can do. Some people are just like that.
The only dignifying thing left for him to do is move out of your brother's house.

I'm sure Mahatma Ghandii is his role model

kimbraa:
Abeg! Panel Beating na work for Nigeria? I personally don't consider that as a job except if I'm misunderstanding what he does for a living.

@38, and that he hasn't done anything meaningful with his life has made him complacent at the level he's at. He's got nothing to loose and cares less about giving meaning to his life. Your bro lacks purpose, motivation, and drive. There are people like him who came to escort others in the world.

We de make arrangement to see if we go appointment you even if na special adviser to the president on charity mata.

Happy Sunday.

LordKO:


We de make arrangement to see if we go appointment you even if na special adviser to the president on charity mata.

Happy Sunday.

LOL, don't mind me.
Happy Sunday too.

Some people are naturally like that, nonchalant and without ambition. I'm afraid there's not much you can do about it. Even if he marries and starts the family, all the financial burden wil be on the wife and she won't able to do anything about it except exit the marriage.

He has just 2years remaining to become a FOOL AT 40



A wise man once said.....


"No matter how hard or long you shake you diick, the last drop of your piss is for your boxer"

OP the way You are complaining ehn......


Are you dragging the house with your elder bro?

Well, he try small to even learn work......
He just needs serious advice from your elder bro(if the probs isnt spiritual)

the village pipu want to render him hopeless,worthless,useless,irresponsible .He need help/prayer.take him to CAC Agbara olorun ni gba ni @Egbeda,CCC .

Buhari was right..


One lazy Nigerian youth spotted

Shift abeg........let me faint!!

This your brother, is his name by any chance Muhammad? ...Muhammad Buhari?

Or Yusuf?...Yusuf Buhari?

Maybe dem don comot him pistil from Village