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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / When She Hits First (8216 Views)
Husband Hits Wife's Head With A Pestle In Asaba (Disturbing Photos) / Shortage Of Men Hits The World / Wife Beats, Hits Her Husband But The Husband Refuses To Fight Back (2) (3) (4)
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Re: When She Hits First by Respect55(m): 3:54pm On Jul 18, 2018 |
Eketem:So the wife can't be charged with domestic abuse as well? She abused her mother inlaw by beating up the woman. The man avenged. Did I hear u say it is not the joy of all women to behold and feel their children's children?Pls buttress ur point. Answer a fool in his folly lest he becomes wise in his own eyes. How can a wife beat her husband's mother? 1 Like |
Re: When She Hits First by Eketem: 5:29pm On Jul 18, 2018 |
Respect55: You didn't read. The man should have been the first to report instead of taking the law into his hands. Right now only him will face trial because she is the only one who reported to the Police. He has already taken the law into his hands and so the law cannot now be called to serve him. Some women have their lives revolving around their kids and grandkids some do not. It is faulty to generalise Society thinks a woman's life should revolve around these things but some women do not think this or want it 4 Likes |
Re: When She Hits First by Respect55(m): 6:35pm On Jul 18, 2018 |
Eketem:No body has a monopoly of reporting any issue to the police or suing another to court. The man can as well decide to sue her in another court altogether for battering his mum. I dnt know how else to put it for u to understand. All I'm saying is that every mother desires to carry her grandchild. Tnk u |
Re: When She Hits First by Eketem: 8:18pm On Jul 18, 2018 |
Respect55: You cannot know what every mother in the world wants, just because people say these things doesn't mean every woman wants the same If he had reported immediately he will have a case, he cannot go and claim she hit his mother now just because she reported her own abuse. He should have taken pictures of his mother's bruises and maybe a medical report and go and report. He has already taken the law into his hands he cannot go now and be seeking justice Why am I even talking abeg go and report her 4 Likes |
Re: When She Hits First by Respect55(m): 8:32pm On Jul 18, 2018 |
Eketem:Ask questions weneva u need clarity on things u don't know bro. The mother in law is currently in hospital along mile 1 here and the man has gotten doctor's report to help him further the case. She will soon be served 1 Like |
Re: When She Hits First by Acidosis(m): 9:10pm On Jul 18, 2018 |
Eketem:Be realistic, this your recommendation is only good on paper. You're a mother right? Would you be proud of a son that follows this recommendation? I'm very sure you won't sit back and fold your hands if a stranger beats up your child. Reporting to the police won't be an immediate line of action. 1 Like |
Re: When She Hits First by Eketem: 9:19pm On Jul 18, 2018 |
Acidosis: Extremely proud shows I raised a thinking human being not a crude one. He will ensure she is charged for assault and gather evidence to prove her guilty instead of falling into her gutter level 3 Likes |
Re: When She Hits First by Acidosis(m): 9:27pm On Jul 18, 2018 |
Eketem: Well if seeing ones mother with bruises, sore, cuts, etc, is not enough reason to provoke and push a son to a retaliatory attack, then something is definitely not right. Funny thing is, it doesn't matter the level of decency, everyone has got a breaking point. 2 Likes |
Re: When She Hits First by Ganjafama(m): 9:41pm On Jul 18, 2018 |
Eketem:Bros leave matter for Martha. Any woman slaps my mother, I will return it seven fold and damn the consequences. 3 Likes |
Re: When She Hits First by JoannaSedley(f): 10:31pm On Jul 18, 2018 |
It is wrong to say that in Igbo culture the husband's mother comes for omugwo. Its the wife's mother. No wonder Sh!t hit the ceiling so hard when tradition is not obeyed ![]() Mad and intolerant wife...and her Mike Tyson husband disgracing themselves infront of neighbours and a magistrate. 1 Like |
Re: When She Hits First by Respect55(m): 10:36pm On Jul 18, 2018 |
JoannaSedley:Any mother can go for omugo in Igbo tradition. |
Re: When She Hits First by Eketem: 12:23am On Jul 19, 2018 |
Acidosis: When you end up in jail who will now be protecting your mother? Report and let the police prosecute so the real assaulter will pay for their crime 3 Likes |
Re: When She Hits First by Eketem: 12:24am On Jul 19, 2018 |
Ganjafama: So don't complain when the wife who abused your mother ends up sending you to jail instead of her going to jail. 3 Likes |
Re: When She Hits First by Timbuktuo: 6:29am On Jul 19, 2018 |
Legally speaking, the husband is not justified in hitting his wife. No matter how tempting the idea of violence is, it should really only be used in self defence. The man was in no danger at the point he hit his wife. The heat-of-the-moment defence might not work in favor of the man now that he's been sued. Therefore, his best course of action would have been to sue his wife for battering his mother. Which we know was never going to happen, really. I'm sure the wife suing him came out of left field considering Nigerians aren't litigous. Personally speaking, however, the marriage would be effectively over. We would separate and eventually divorce. You don't really come back from that, at least, I wouldn't be able to. Especially as there would be no sufficient redress as obvious violence from me would be ruled out. She would do well to constantly look over shoulder, though, accidents happen all the time. 2 Likes |
Re: When She Hits First by Eketem: 6:47am On Jul 19, 2018 |
Timbuktuo: Thank You, Most Nigerians were raised to use fists and zero brain. Their parents raised them to fight first and think later if they think at all, this comes from beating a child for every offence instead of talking or explaining sometimes. The solution to every hurt now seems like is the fist. Like a bad joke someone I know went to jail, what happened? His sisters husband hit her, he went tied the man up and beat him seriously, people hailed him, the husband went to report to the police he was prosecuted, his defence of " he hit my sister first" didn't fly, the Judge said he should have reported the husband to the police not become a law unto himself 3 Likes |
Re: When She Hits First by Timbuktuo: 6:56am On Jul 19, 2018 |
Eketem: We need to evolve our thinking in this country. Why would I put myself in a situation where I could be facing jail time? If only the man had controlled his emotions and had been rational he would know there are more drastic, longer-lasting ways to get back his pound of flesh. Oh, well. 3 Likes |
Re: When She Hits First by sisisioge: 7:08am On Jul 19, 2018 |
Wow! She perfectly understands violence! Beat up her MIL because she messed up the house! Chai! Beating up her MIL at all is a taboo in Yoruba land! I know they aren't our people...sorry ![]() I think the beating is justified. Let them break each other's head! 1 Like |
Re: When She Hits First by Eketem: 7:38am On Jul 19, 2018 |
Timbuktuo: And how people do not seem to understand this on this thread is amazing. To them the rational action is beat first. Many times people will say they will kill anybody who sexually molests their children and I remind them that if they kill they will go to jail and their children will be at more risk of sexual abuse but they don't seem to think that far or somehow they believe they will not go to jail. The jungle justice mentality needs to evolve 1 Like |
Re: When She Hits First by Eketem: 7:40am On Jul 19, 2018 |
sisisioge: And the man now goes to jail leaving her out to keep beating mother in law. She should have been the one going to jail |
Re: When She Hits First by sisisioge: 7:48am On Jul 19, 2018 |
Eketem: I hope they are in Nigeria. Nobody goes to jail for this kinda issue here. Rather, their lawyers and media will battle it out. The judge sef, whether male or female will be divided between what the law requires and what our culture demands...its a case that will most likely leave no winners. The woman on the other hand will find her husband and possibly pikin go front eventually. Any more thoughts? |
Re: When She Hits First by Eketem: 8:18am On Jul 19, 2018 |
sisisioge: Seems you have never seen the four walls of a court room, many people go to jail for assault I can even Google some instances for you. I know someone personally who went to jail because his brother in law beat up his sister and he went to get revenge the in law reported him and like a joke he went to jail. The judges do not rule on emotions and sentiments they rule on law. If it is proven that you indeed committed assault you will go to jail or if the Judge is lenient depending on the gravity of assault pay a hefty fine. There are many cases online please read up. The sad part is even if you get a light sentence and option of fine you are already a convict in Nigeria and will affect job applications and visa applications Why people have gotten away with assault is because people didn't report or it was settled before it got to prosecution level. These days people are becoming wiser and learning more and seeing cases fully prosecuted. So many cases which before would have been minor family issues are now going to court and people getting jailed for it. The law is the law 2 Likes
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Re: When She Hits First by sisisioge: 8:31am On Jul 19, 2018 |
Eketem: Well, this your case sample is one out of twenty. Remember the guy that broke his ex wife's legs and almost killed her? As serious as the case was, with all the proofs and witnesses even in light of the premeditation attached to it, the guy isn't still in jail. Or has he been sentenced? Many many husbands battering wives here yet, they still walk freely. This is Nigeria, he just needs a good lawyer that can prove that the wife had it coming and boom! By the way, there is a nairalander who went as far as killing his gf yet got a light sentence. He said the judge empathized with him and said he most likely would do same as the guy did and handed him a light sentence for murder! Guy is back filled with hate and mostly would do it again given the chance! How much more a guy that merely gave a tiny madam back a dose of her medicine...if he's got a good lawyer, he would walk. 5 Likes |
Re: When She Hits First by Eketem: 8:38am On Jul 19, 2018 |
sisisioge: Please go and follow up on Ivies case it seems you have missed. The guy ran to America, he forged divorce papers and all she came online and complained immediately a team of lawyers put together all the evidence and sent to the American Embassy and stated that he had a pending attempted murder case. His visa was revoked, he wrote to some blogs begging she has said no way, right now he us a fugitive I'm America and any day they catch up with him he will be deported to face the law. He was awaiting trial in Nigeria when he ran away. Cases take time even abroad that somebody commits a crime doesn't mean he or she will go to jail immediately. The person goes to jail after the Judge has heard from all witnesses checked all evidence and find that the person is guilty. Before then the person may be out on bail if the offense is bailable. The other 19 you mentioned perhaps the people assaulted didn't go to the police or they decided to settle out of court but if you want to gamble with your freedom by assaulting another person instead of letting the law take its course who am I to stop you 3 Likes |
Re: When She Hits First by Eketem: 8:43am On Jul 19, 2018 |
sisisioge: Which Nairalander? Please let me see the transcript of the judgment? I doubt any judge will be stupid enough to say that. There are different grades of murder, some can be ruled in self defense meaning the person attacked you and you had no choice but to defend your self that is allowed under the Constitution but you have to prove beyond reasonable doubt that it was In the heat of the moment. There is also involuntary man slaughter where you kill somebody by mistake you had no premeditated need to kill the person it just happened in error. There is first degree and second degree murder depending on how premeditated it is and how far the killer went to plan and take a life. So be clear about the facts of the case before you state it 2 Likes |
Re: When She Hits First by JoannaSedley(f): 8:56am On Jul 19, 2018 |
Respect55:Oh come on. I am a full blooded Igbo lady, born and bred so don't tell me that. The wife's mother is the tradition. In the case where that is not possible, the wife will choose who will care for her during the postnatal period. Do people think omugwo is a jamboree affair? It is a very difficult period for every new mother and compounding the process with someone who the wife is not familiar with because that's the way the husband want it is a recipe for disaster. Especially in this case where the wife is an obvious psychiatric patient. Make them take this tales somewhere else. 1 Like |
Re: When She Hits First by sisisioge: 9:04am On Jul 19, 2018 |
Eketem: Its a well premeditated murder where he painstakingly planned the death of a gf that swindled him and killed his father. Anyways, that's not the gist here, I was just letting you know that if cases of murder are partially won even where evidences are beyond reasonable doubt, how much more a mere case of domestic violence where A beat B because B beat C. Na talk we go talk for there! The Judge has got a mother too, especially when the mama appears in court with her head, arms and legs bandaged in pitiable sight ![]() |
Re: When She Hits First by sisisioge: 9:10am On Jul 19, 2018 |
Eketem: Oh, so he ran away! So what became of those who stood in bail for him? Another of the holes in the naija judicial setup. A case as sensational as that still pending with the culprit at large! Whew! Anyways, don't worry about me...I almost don't bark, let alone bite. But I think that woman got exactly what she deserved. If I were a lawyer, I would happily defend that guy probono...highest, we claim momentary insanity. 2 Likes |
Re: When She Hits First by Eketem: 9:12am On Jul 19, 2018 |
sisisioge: I won't believe this until I see the facts of the case and the judgement. Cases are won on evidence and the law not on sentiments or if one has a wife or a mother. However feel free to be beating people up if you feel it is the answer to wrong doing don't sha lament when you end up in jail because you think the Judge will have a mother and feel pity 2 Likes |
Re: When She Hits First by Respect55(m): 9:14am On Jul 19, 2018 |
JoannaSedley:You are not the only one born and raised in Igbo land. If the man's mother comes for the first, den the girl's mother will come during the second. That's the tradition. The wide doesn't have the sole privilege of choosing who comes or not. Which one again is bn familiar or unfamiliar with? How will a wife not establish close relationships with the mother in law? It's already a bad attitude. Any wife that despises her mother in law will receive same when the son gets married. That's karma 1 Like |
Re: When She Hits First by Eketem: 9:16am On Jul 19, 2018 |
sisisioge: Those who stood surety for him Forefited their bail bond. It is not a naija judicial issue it is an a Issue all around the world people flee when out on bail hence the Judge for people who are at risk to flee demand they submit their international passport. You should admit that most of the information you have quoted are half baked. As for Ivies case believe me he is very close to total shame and jail term this I know for sure as someone with information on the matter justice may be slow but it is sure if people perserve and follow processes |
Re: When She Hits First by sisisioge: 9:16am On Jul 19, 2018 |
Eketem: ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() If you would like to meet him, bait him by creating a topic about how women are the scums of earth. He's gonna be all over it. Then you can ask him for his case transcript. About me beating up people, don't worry about it ![]() |
Re: When She Hits First by JoannaSedley(f): 9:20am On Jul 19, 2018 |
Respect55:These shows that you are not anywhere closed to being an Igbo man. Traditionally, wives lives with there husband's families including the parents and siblings. Then upon giving birth her mother will come from her house to tend to her daughter and her child for four weeks. That is the Igbo tradition and what you are postulating as the tradition is not only fallacious but alien. It is left for the wife to decide who she is comfortable with if the mother is unavailable, and if the couple cannot reach an agreement on this trivial issue then they do not have any reason to be married. Get someone to educate you properly. NB: the wife do not need to bond with the mother in law she is not married to her. She owes the mother in law nothing but respect as a guest, as each of them has their own families now. 1 Like |
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