Pls, only mature contributions

After my service year I lent out #140k to raise some of my friends and big bros in my area (family men) that lost their job as a result of fraudulent act in their office which led to closing down of d company. To avoid questions of how I got d money. The little amount I got from d small business i engaged in, together with my savings during my service year. I believe everyone has their days of trial but it becomes safer when someone steps in to relieve. I'm not trying to refer my self as a GOOD SAMARITAN but I feel for the children and wife at home. They all promise to pay my money when they gain balance financially. I never give thought of doubt on this because they re graduate and have been working before . Over d years, 2 years to be precise, i was able to get back #50k. There is even one of them that give flimsy excuses like ' l am busy at work, i am in d meeting now bla bla bla... later I was unable to reach him. Probably he put my number on the blacklist. This makes me to decide that i will not give out what i can't let go.
Recently, a colleague of mine at work approached me to lend her 30k so as to buy some stuffs in her shop, I never hesitate to turn her down because I'm tired of listening to stories when d money gets to her hand. She called and pleaded on phone that she knows i have the money, i needed to turn her down again, however i acted that way just not to displease myself again. A friend of mine is equally calling me now to raise him 20k to join d money he has to execute a business. Just fed up now, I hv d money with me but i don't want to regret my actions at the end. After a lot persuasion from my friend, I sat down and start asking myself series of question.

Like: Do I need to judge people base on what others have done?
Hope i am not selfish with my decision?
Pls I need a mature advice.

Hmm... Once bitten twice shy

Keep yur money jor
When I was young I used to believe dat ghost were scary nd harmful until I found out now dat humans are more dangerous in all aspects
If I eat they angry dat u can afford to eat
If I brook they laugh nd gossip about u
U look gud wahala
U get money u become atm
U no get money they why didn't u save when u had
Just be stingy with yur money my option sha nd experience

Bros, tell them that chai! That if they'd asked you earlier it would have been available but you just used the money at hand to solve family issue. Suggest to them that money lenders always have money to lend.

Muchluv3:
Pls, only mature contributions

After my service year I lent out #140k to raise some of my friends and big bros in my area (family men) that lost their job as a result of fraudulent act in their office which led to closing down of d company. To avoid questions of how I got d money. The little amount I got from d small business i engaged in, together with my savings during my service year. I believe everyone has their days of trial but it becomes safer when someone steps in to relieve. I'm not trying to refer my self as a GOOD SAMARITAN but I feel for the children and wife at home. They all promise to pay my money when they gain balance financially. I never give thought of doubt on this because they re graduate and have been working before . Over d years, 2 years to be precise, i was able to get back #50k. There is even one of them that give flimsy excuses like ' l am busy at work, i am in d meeting now bla bla bla... later I was unable to reach him. Probably he put my number on the blacklist. This makes me to decide that i will not give out what i can't let go.
Recently, a colleague of mine at work approached me to lend her 30k so as to buy some stuffs in her shop, I never hesitate to turn her down because I'm tired of listening to stories when d money gets to her hand. She called and pleaded on phone that she knows i have the money, i needed to turn her down again, however i acted that way just not to displease myself again. A friend of mine is equally calling me now to raise him 20k to join d money he has to execute a business. Just fed up now, I hv d money with me but i don't want to regret my actions at the end. After a lot persuasion from my friend, I sat down and start asking myself series of question.

Like: Do I need to judge people base on what others have done?
Hope i am not selfish with my decision?
Pls I need a mature advice.

Only lend what you can afford to lose except in exceptional cases where for some reasons you are willing to lose the cash because of your perception of the situation

When it comes to money given to Nigerians (especially with no signed contract that it's a loan to be returned), count it gone!

The one mistake you are making is, you give them what they ask for.
I get requests all the time too.
If someone is asking for 30k, if you want to give, tell them its 5k, or 10k you have.
Also, i don't lend to people who do not have a clear cut way of paying back.
E.g someone earns 60k as salary, wants to borrow 100k ,to pay back next month. Pls tell me, where will he get it to pay you back? This person can never borrow above 10k from me.
.
Secondly, some people are privy to your financial standing, and use that to tell you that they know you have the money. I do 2 things. I ask them if I am working for them, then I blacklist them. 10 naira, you will not see.
.
Some other people call you, and when you say you don't have, they tell you that when you receive your salary, you should lend them the money. There is only one solution for this category of people. BLACKLIST!!!
Even me, I don't make plans on a salary I have not yet earned/received.
.
I now have a new method.
When someone calls, or approaches me for money, before he tells me his problem, I start listing mine.
How I got a call from my Dad to help pay his medical bills of 50k, in the same week, my brother has asked for money to support his project 30k, my aunt also called to say that she has no where to turn to, and me too, I walk around with an empty purse. No money and I am in vexing mode. Being broke makes you angry.
After all these, the person will know that I will not prioritize his need over mine.

Except you are giving loans as a business, in which case you have to get the funds collaterized or guaranteed with somethomg tangible, your rule of thumb should be to never give what you can't let go off.

In your case, you have had sufficiently bad experiences to impress that in you. The cost to your own peace of mind is not worth it.

neonly:
Keep yur money jor
When I was young I used to believe dat ghost were scary nd harmful until I found out now dat humans are more dangerous in all aspects
If I eat they angry dat u can afford to eat
If I brook they laugh nd gossip about u
U look gud wahala
U get money u become atm
U no get money they why didn't u save when u had
Just be stingy with yur money my option sha nd experience

One of my Professor while I was in school wl always mention that human beings are d most complicated thing on earth. I never understood it then but now from experience i understood better.

Muchluv3:


One of my Professor while I was in school wl always mention that human beings are d most complicated thing on earth. I never understood it then but now from experience i understood better.

Abi ooo

PamaB:
Bros, tell them that chai! That if they'd asked you earlier it would have been available but you just used the money at hand to solve family issue. Suggest to them that money lenders always have money to lend.

Thanks for ur advise, i sensed most of them want to avoid the interest they wl be pay to Money Lenders. I tire for Niger people jare... someone lend u cash without interest and d only way to pay him is to snup his call and do as if u 're nt owing him

Atk1nson:


Only lend what you can afford to lose except in exceptional cases where for some reasons you are willing to lose the cash because of your perception of the situation

Noted, thanks for ur contribution

I think what you doing is right... Make sure you are readily for the mental and emotional distress that comes with dissapiont ment of a payback after lending...

Borrow only amount you can let go & make sure the lender has a clear cut medium to pay back

You have the experience, do as expected. I never forget who I owe & those that owe me. But try & give people the benefit of doubt with money you can let go sha.

I also learnt the hard way,now I look them straight in the eye & shake my head. I just don't care

Please based on your previous experience, tell them the little money you have is in a fixed deposit and can't be terminated until after 90 days. That way they won't say you have and refused to borrow them.

People are not always sincere when it's time to pay back money they borrowed.

Ok

SIR stop showing people you have money. If not they will stop asking you for money. They know you have it and ... God forbid you deny them, theybsend someone after youto Kill and on you.

Don’t let your death grace nairaland pages

[quote author=Quiescere post=69908609]When it comes to money given to Nigerians (especially with no signed contract that it's a loan to be returned), count it gone!

The way some people do take privilege for granted amaze me a lot

Winneygirl:
The one mistake you are making is, you give them what they ask for.
I get requests all the time too.
If someone is asking for 30k, if you want to give, tell them its 5k, or 10k you have.
Also, i don't lend to people who do not have a clear cut way of paying back.
E.g someone earns 60k as salary, wants to borrow 100k ,to pay back next month. Pls tell me, where will he get it to pay you back? This person can never borrow above 10k from me.
.
Secondly, some people are privy to your financial standing, and use that to tell you that they know you have the money. I do 2 things. I ask them if I am working for them, then I blacklist them. 10 naira, you will not see.
.
Some other people call you, and when you say you don't have, they tell you that when you receive your salary, you should lend them the money. There is only one solution for this category of people. BLACKLIST!!!
Even me, I don't make plans on a salary I have not yet earned/received.
.
I now have a new method.
When someone calls, or approaches me for money, before he tells me his problem, I start listing mine.
How I got a call from my Dad to help pay his medical bills of 50k, in the same week, my brother has asked for money to support his project 30k, my aunt also called to say that she has no where to turn to, and me too, I walk around with an empty purse. No money and I am in vexing mode. Being broke makes you angry.
After all these, the person will know that I will not prioritize his need over mine.

It seems dis ur new method is what people around me needs. Thanks for ur advice

Muchluv3:
Pls, only mature contributions

After my service year I lent out #140k to raise some of my friends and big bros in my area (family men) that lost their job as a result of fraudulent act in their office which led to closing down of d company. To avoid questions of how I got d money. The little amount I got from d small business i engaged in, together with my savings during my service year. I believe everyone has their days of trial but it becomes safer when someone steps in to relieve. I'm not trying to refer my self as a GOOD SAMARITAN but I feel for the children and wife at home. They all promise to pay my money when they gain balance financially. I never give thought of doubt on this because they re graduate and have been working before . Over d years, 2 years to be precise, i was able to get back #50k. There is even one of them that give flimsy excuses like ' l am busy at work, i am in d meeting now bla bla bla... later I was unable to reach him. Probably he put my number on the blacklist. This makes me to decide that i will not give out what i can't let go.
Recently, a colleague of mine at work approached me to lend her 30k so as to buy some stuffs in her shop, I never hesitate to turn her down because I'm tired of listening to stories when d money gets to her hand. She called and pleaded on phone that she knows i have the money, i needed to turn her down again, however i acted that way just not to displease myself again. A friend of mine is equally calling me now to raise him 20k to join d money he has to execute a business. Just fed up now, I hv d money with me but i don't want to regret my actions at the end. After a lot persuasion from my friend, I sat down and start asking myself series of question.

Like: Do I need to judge people base on what others have done?
Hope i am not selfish with my decision?
Pls I need a mature advice.

It's simple rule... Never displease yourself to please anyone. A friend used his name to collect 2,000,000 for someone else and right now, he can't sleep cos the person hasn't paid back the money....

His relationship with the lender is at stake because the lender has been of tremendous help to him and he never failed but just this one now has turned something else.

Well, the man that collected the money used it for business and for each money he was making, he wS reinventing it back into the business. He never knew that at a point, he would be owed.

The man is trying to raise the money though...


I don't give what I can't afford to lose. If u wanna vex, vex... I am not the cause of your problem...

Winneygirl:
The one mistake you are making is, you give them what they ask for.
I get requests all the time too.
If someone is asking for 30k, if you want to give, tell them its 5k, or 10k you have.
Also, i don't lend to people who do not have a clear cut way of paying back.
E.g someone earns 60k as salary, wants to borrow 100k ,to pay back next month. Pls tell me, where will he get it to pay you back? This person can never borrow above 10k from me.
.
Secondly, some people are privy to your financial standing, and use that to tell you that they know you have the money. I do 2 things. I ask them if I am working for them, then I blacklist them. 10 naira, you will not see.
.
Some other people call you, and when you say you don't have, they tell you that when you receive your salary, you should lend them the money. There is only one solution for this category of people. BLACKLIST!!!
Even me, I don't make plans on a salary I have not yet earned/received.
.
I now have a new method.
When someone calls, or approaches me for money, before he tells me his problem, I start listing mine.
How I got a call from my Dad to help pay his medical bills of 50k, in the same week, my brother has asked for money to support his project 30k, my aunt also called to say that she has no where to turn to, and me too, I walk around with an empty purse. No money and I am in vexing mode. Being broke makes you angry.
After all these, the person will know that I will not prioritize his need over mine.

Exactly how I do mine...

Winneygirl:
The one mistake you are making is, you give them what they ask for.
I get requests all the time too.
If someone is asking for 30k, if you want to give, tell them its 5k, or 10k you have.
Also, i don't lend to people who do not have a clear cut way of paying back.
E.g someone earns 60k as salary, wants to borrow 100k ,to pay back next month. Pls tell me, where will he get it to pay you back? This person can never borrow above 10k from me.
.
Secondly, some people are privy to your financial standing, and use that to tell you that they know you have the money. I do 2 things. I ask them if I am working for them, then I blacklist them. 10 naira, you will not see.
.
Some other people call you, and when you say you don't have, they tell you that when you receive your salary, you should lend them the money. There is only one solution for this category of people. BLACKLIST!!!
Even me, I don't make plans on a salary I have not yet earned/received.
.
I now have a new method.
When someone calls, or approaches me for money, before he tells me his problem, I start listing mine.
How I got a call from my Dad to help pay his medical bills of 50k, in the same week, my brother has asked for money to support his project 30k, my aunt also called to say that she has no where to turn to, and me too, I walk around with an empty purse. No money and I am in vexing mode. Being broke makes you angry.
After all these, the person will know that I will not prioritize his need over mine.

Good one
This works.
If they ask for 100k, just tell them u have 5k(only if u can let go of it).
Infact some will not still return the 5k
I have learnt my lesson.

Quiescere:
When it comes to money given to Nigerians (especially with no signed contract that it's a loan to be returned), count it gone!

I learned my lesson. Now, if anyone asks for N30k and “promises to pay back”, I’d just give him/her N10k. They can go hustle for the remainder.

Wilfredpat22:
SIR stop showing people you have money. If not they will stop asking you for money. They know you have it and ... God forbid you deny them, theybsend someone after youto Kill and on you.

Don’t let your death grace nairaland pages

far from it, I don't show people I have money. I remain my normal person when I hav and when I don't. My colleague only pleaded base on our monthly cash we just received. Thanks for contribution

Only lend to people what you can let go.

[quote author=Muchluv3 post=69966799]

far from it, I don't show people I have money. I remain my normal person when I hav and when I don't. My colleague only pleaded base on our monthly cash we just received. Thanks for contribution[/quote

]
you both received monthly cash and your so called friend thinks adding yours to his or hers is friendship abi, maybe they feel you've got nothing to do with money.
make a budget of your monthly expenses, add emergency expenditures , add miscellaneous subtract from your salary.
Also decide the percentage you're willing to dash out maybe in form of loan or assistance,once that percentage is over that's the end.
The remaining is your excess or available cash, save some and invest the rest, that way you can sincerely look at people in the eyes and tell them you've got no money to give.

PDPGuy:

I learned my lesson. Now, if anyone asks for N30k and “promises to pay back”, I’d just give him/her N10k. They can go hustle for the remainder.

Bros borrow me 30k abeg, I promise to pay back.

A part of my financial policy is " I do not borrow". If I give you money, I'm giving you without expecting it back (dash).

I hate disappointment in my life. I hate it!! Fake promises and the likes!! I only dash what I can dash, I do not borrow!

Muchluv3:


One of my Professor while I was in school wl always mention that human beings are d most complicated thing on earth. I never understood it then but now from experience i understood better.

Even if u remove ur head, they still say u never do anything for them.........Some people are ungrateful

Muchluv3:



Thanks for ur advise, i sensed most of them want to avoid the interest they wl be pay to Money Lenders. I tire for Niger people jare... someone lend u cash without interest and d only way to pay him is to snup his call and do as if u 're nt owing him

Don't even try it.........It has happened to me before some years back, this lady came to me to borrow her money, to buy some goods as her shop is empty and promise to give me the following week, shes a business woman, so i gave her with d intension dat wen she sells d goods she will return d money. A month later I called her, she didn't pick, three days later she flashed me and I called back to ask her about d money, she told me shes broke now. I know she has sell d goods finished. Three month later I called her she refuse to pick my calls. I later use call to disturb her dat I need money, the next thing I hear is how much is she owing self, dat I don't even ask about wat she's passing through now. as if she ask about mine, until I reported her to her husband, who gave me half of d money, till today, she never pay d balance and didn't call to say anything about it. She even av bad intension about me dat I'm asking about d money I lend her. See life, since then I av learnt my lesson I can only lend money, I dat i can easily dash out.