I am a 38 years old woman. I got married to my husband when I was 36. I was not really into marriage. So I was not the desperate type. Even when my family,friends,everyone was pestering me about marriage,I didn’t care cos I was happy,living my life,happy and fulfilled.

By God’s grace,I am an accomplished woman. I have a thriving career. I have a house of my own and I have a masters while I am pursuing my PHD. I gave in to marriage when I met my husband through a friend that set up the match making. My husband,let us call him John,was and still is,a real estate developer. He is a divorcee but he doesn’t have any child from his ex wife.

I grew to like him and when he proposed,I agreed to marry him. Unfortunately,I didn’t get to meet his people until our marriage ceremonies. Both of us are adults and we didn’t think it was a big deal. John is over 40 years. But soon after my wedding,my mother in-law began to show herself. It was obvious that she didn’t like me. This makes me even suspect that she was the reason behind the first marriage crashing. Even though my husband said,it crashed cos they realized that they were not compatible. They quarreled a lot until they divorced.

Well, this woman came to visit us shortly after our marriage and refused to leave even after one month. I didn’t mind but for her constant nagging. She complains that I am not a homely wife. That I love my career more than my home. She would curse me and call me names. I was horrified but I tried to keep my cool. When I told my husband,he brushed it aside and asked me to be the bigger person by ignoring the mother.

Eventually she left but anytime she calls,she insults me and says that I should be thinking of having a baby instead of focusing so much on my career. That was when I told her to mind her business and stop calling me. That didn’t go well with her and she told her son who told me I shouldn’t cut off his mom.

Well,I ignored them both until my mother in law made a statement in a text message she sent me a few months ago. After calling me useless and all sorts of name in the text,she then goes to say that if I ever have a child,she would take the child and ensure that her son drives me away. That statement made me go crazy. I called her and told her off. That caused a serious problem between me and my husband . Who as usual,instead of correcting his mom and defending me,goes the way of saying:be the bigger person….I am fed up of his behavior.

He says,in their culture,a child does not confront a parent!…I think that is BS!. His attitude is giving me serious cause of worry. Much as I would like to have a child,I have serious hesitation with bringing a child into a home like this. So,I have not been actively trying for a baby. Its been two years. Everyone is getting impatient that I am yet to be pregnant. But as for me,I am not bothered. I am not even trying to have a baby.This is not the type of home to raise a child.

My mother says I should have a child cos the child will bring peace. But with my husband’s mother’s threat,I am not so sure. Coupled with my husband’s inability to address the issue. My husband does not know that I am on protection. And I am not about to go off protection until I am sure of the situation.


But I am writing cos I need your advise.If you were in my shoes,what would you do? I would like to have a child someday cos I love children but I am not sure of the future of this marriage. Having a child in an unhappy or broken home is not my idea. My mother keeps crying every day that my ‘biological clock’ is ticking. That I am being paranoid and selfish. Of course,she is thinking of her grandchildren more than my happiness.

I am exhausted. What should I do? should I have a baby or wait?…or maybe I should even start thinking of ending this marriage?…clearly,the man I call my husband cares more about his mother than he cares about me…

More below:

https://zenithnaija.com/why-i-do-not-want-to-have-babies-after-two-years-of-marriage/

Do what pleases you

Your mother in law tells you she will take your child and tell her son to chase you away if you give her a grandson. With all your education and exposure, how did you believe she can do that so easily? I just think you are generally put off with having a child and any slight deterrent will encourage you to carry on.

made-up stories

Made up story as usual..but for the sake of commenting, some women need to understand that for most men their first love is their mother. You have no idea what she must have gone through for them over the years. The sacrifices, that listening ear when we fathers are not available for some reason, constant encouragement the list goes on.
Point is you cant just come in and act like spartacus with the "Kill them all" mindset.. remember she loves her son and has his best interest at heart so she will be overprotective at the initial stage. Prove to her that you also have his as well and watch her back off over time as she knows a better caretaker has emerged.
Final note, best strategy for young women in marriage is to win over your mans mother( some mamas strong ghan!!! )not only will he love you the more but also you have a new ally when the going gets tough..She will fight your battles for you will you the lady will hold your peace..

milemimi93:
Womb less ho

Go and marry your own and let's see.

Sex dey sweet u

.

Kingsmeal:

I am a 38 years old woman. I got married to my husband when I was 36. I was not really into marriage. So I was not the desperate type. Even when my family,friends,everyone was pestering me about marriage,I didn’t care cos I was happy,living my life,happy and fulfilled.

By God’s grace,I am an accomplished woman. I have a thriving career. I have a house of my own and I have a masters while I am pursuing my PHD. I gave in to marriage when I met my husband through a friend that set up the match making. My husband,let us call him John,was and still is,a real estate developer. He is a divorcee but he doesn’t have any child from his ex wife.

I grew to like him and when he proposed,I agreed to marry him. Unfortunately,I didn’t get to meet his people until our marriage ceremonies. Both of us are adults and we didn’t think it was a big deal. John is over 40 years. But soon after my wedding,my mother in-law began to show herself. It was obvious that she didn’t like me. This makes me even suspect that she was the reason behind the first marriage crashing. Even though my husband said,it crashed cos they realized that they were not compatible. They quarreled a lot until they divorced.

Well, this woman came to visit us shortly after our marriage and refused to leave even after one month. I didn’t mind but for her constant nagging. She complains that I am not a homely wife. That I love my career more than my home. She would curse me and call me names. I was horrified but I tried to keep my cool. When I told my husband,he brushed it aside and asked me to be the bigger person by ignoring the mother.

Eventually she left but anytime she calls,she insults me and says that I should be thinking of having a baby instead of focusing so much on my career. That was when I told her to mind her business and stop calling me. That didn’t go well with her and she told her son who told me I shouldn’t cut off his mom.

Well,I ignored them both until my mother in law made a statement in a text message she sent me a few months ago. After calling me useless and all sorts of name in the text,she then goes to say that if I ever have a child,she would take the child and ensure that her son drives me away. That statement made me go crazy. I called her and told her off. That caused a serious problem between me and my husband . Who as usual,instead of correcting his mom and defending me,goes the way of saying:be the bigger person….I am fed up of his behavior.

He says,in their culture,a child does not confront a parent!…I think that is BS!. His attitude is giving me serious cause of worry. Much as I would like to have a child,I have serious hesitation with bringing a child into a home like this. So,I have not been actively trying for a baby. Its been two years. Everyone is getting impatient that I am yet to be pregnant. But as for me,I am not bothered. I am not even trying to have a baby.This is not the type of home to raise a child.

My mother says I should have a child cos the child will bring peace. But with my husband’s mother’s threat,I am not so sure. Coupled with my husband’s inability to address the issue. My husband does not know that I am on protection. And I am not about to go off protection until I am sure of the situation.


But I am writing cos I need your advise.If you were in my shoes,what would you do? I would like to have a child someday cos I love children but I am not sure of the future of this marriage. Having a child in an unhappy or broken home is not my idea. My mother keeps crying every day that my ‘biological clock’ is ticking. That I am being paranoid and selfish. Of course,she is thinking of her grandchildren more than my happiness.

I am exhausted. What should I do? should I have a baby or wait?…or maybe I should even start thinking of ending this marriage?…clearly,the man I call my husband cares more about his mother than he cares about me…

More below:

https://zenithnaija.com/why-i-do-not-want-to-have-babies-after-two-years-of-marriage/

Even with ur pedigree u are so foolish

Been on protection at 38 for the reason you just stated up there... Hmmm.... don't go and be disturbing God later.

Have your baby, your mother-in-law has no say when it comes to your baby. Your clock is actually ticking actually. If your husband wants to chase you away, you have more right than he does to the child

Even with ur pedigree u are so foolish

C0ck and Bull story

Relate this with your husband and if he is truly in need of a child,am sure he will make the house peaceful to raise his children....

babyfaceafrica:
made-up stories

I tire oh

U dey 38 u no won born


Later when she starts looking for kids she will call her mother in law a witch

Disadvantages of marrying overage

1. Career first
According to her, she already pride herself to be accomplished and it is career first. She confirmed her mother in law saying she is not homely

2. Setting unnecessary rules
Who are you to be unilaterally deciding when to born. Overage don't believe there should be only one captain in the marriage ship

3. Competing with mother in law
They see themselves as mates competing for the husband's attention

4.

Joker!

A sane 38 year old would be desperate to have a child.

You are the one causing the whole issues in this marriage because it is very obvious that the issue of you not having a child started it all and you need to be more African than your own point of view which I see as your ego why won't you wanna have a child when it's very obvious that children make marriage goes along way even making peace to reign with mother inlaws because their prayers is to carry their grandkids.you don't wanna have a child because of your selfishness mrs and that is what is causing you and your mother inlaw not to have been in good term so do what needed to be done,if you are 38 and after 2 years of marriage you ain't planning to have kids something is wrong with you infact if I am a brother to your husband I am gonna be thinking you or my brother is having problem.

This story cannot be real!!!

The number one problem of wives is their murder-in-law...
You are not alone in this.

Naturally, women hate their sons' wives.

Just go ahead and have kids.. With your education and exposure, you should not scared of her empty threats.

she don removed her womb when she dey sisi.

You are not serious ok

You be like a virgin girl doing family planning with your cook up story.

You fon don transgend to male when you know say na man you like to be.

How on earth you dey reach 40 and cause yourself a manmade barren lady and think say your m-inlaw go they happy with you?

In fact your Inlaw still nice for still allow you they do asewo in the name of career woman.

Tell us say you don commot that baby house from your belle simple.

Very touching story, more like being in a world where no one knows ur pain,

Understand this, what makes nneka happy is definitely different from what makes ada happy,

Advice is simple, this lady wants something different from every other person, where her happiness lies is different, and the way to that happiness is, she should divorce the husband, after divorce go on vacation and get herself pregnant by a random guy, in that way she'll have a baby and nobody will threaten to collect her baby and her mom will have a grandchild so everybody is happy...

I don't understand this woman and her story. She's already 38 without a child and still taking pills. Giving us cock and bull MIL story, seems she's planning to leave the man in the long run if things doesn't play her way mtcheew.
Abeg she should leave the guy, she's better off single

spiceadole:
The number one problem of wives is their murder-in-law...
You are not alone in this.

Naturally, women hate their sons' wives.

Just go ahead and have kids.. With your education and exposure, you should not scared of her empty threats.

I guess your m-inlaw hate you shey?