I am a woman in her thirties with two young children, a girl and a boy. I also have a maid who is a 17 years old girl. We have been living fine when hubby decided to bring his elder sister's son who is 13 years to stay with us.

Now his elder sister had this child out of wedlock and is still unmarried till now and doesn't really work as she has a little health challenge. The boy and his mum had been living with my mother in law( the boy's grand mum) and she has been catering for them until recently she retired and fell sick.

Besides, the boy was being over pampered and wasn't reading as nobody paid close attention to him. So with our meagrely income, we took him.

Issue now is, he doesn't understand that he is 13. He likes my son a lot and likes to be with him always but pushes my daughter away. I have talked and talked and talked. I don't want him separating them. He would take my son to the room and not bother with my daughter. If I ask him to do the dishes with my daughter, he would refuse, na with serious insistence before he agrees. I am concerned. I don't want to keep quiet and allow my daughter feel left out. I have spoken to my husband about it but he hasn't said anything on the issue. Please how do I handle this?

Again, when my children stroll to our bedroom to play, next thing he would want to join them, leaving my maid alone. This maid of mine has forgotten she is even a maid. It feels like she is my child and she acts that way, I don't want her to feel left out too as they are just four years apart. He isn't too young na that he would want to be jumping around our bedroom and be seeking cuddling like these young ages 7 and 5 kids of mine. Its eating me up. Right now my daughter is in the parlor and he and my son are in the room as I type.

Call a family meeting, sit all your kids down,including your in-laws son and the housemaid. Your husband doesn't have to be there when the meeting is on.ask the boy why he doesn't like your daughter or likes to play with her?

Threaten him that if he Cannot play with everybody he will have to go back to his house or you will buy Xmas cloth for everyone and exclude him since he is excluding your daughter. Trust me he will adjust


Biko no let any in-law pikin bring any negative vibes to your home by trying to separate the kids because na so them dey take start family quarrel. If you're not careful,in-laws or their kids have a way of bringing toxic energy and so you need to curb it immediately

Option 2 tell the mom of the boy that you don't like the way he's sidelining your kids and these kids used to play with each other before he came and if he can't play with all of them,please find another home for him


That 13 year old boy seems like a child to you but he's subtly bringing negative energy into your home, before you know it your daughter will start having self esteem issues,she will be like why does he not like me but he likes my brother or depression can set in.from there jealousy will start,from there sibling rivalry.do the needful IMMEDIATELY

You can also use passive aggression for him by buying toys or clothes for everyone including your house help and leaving him out of the equation or taking them for a trip and telling the mom to come and carry her son and if she asks why,tell her her son is trying to divide or create disunity among your kids and you don't want that.

If he notices you buy stuffs and exclude him,he will ask you and if he doesn't gave the boldness, he will send one of your kids and then you will tell him the reason

SAMBARRY:
Call a family meeting, sit all your kids down,including your in-laws son and the housemaid. Your husband doesn't have to be there when the meeting is on.ask the boy why he doesn't like your daughter or likes to play with her?

Threaten him that if he Cannot play with everybody he will have to go back to his house or you will buy Xmas cloth for everyone and exclude him since he is excluding your daughter. Trust me he will adjust


Biko no let any in-law pikin bring any negative vibes to your home by trying to separate the kids because na so them dey take start family quarrel. If you're not careful,in-laws or their kids have a way of bringing toxic energy and so you need to curb it immediately

Option 2 tell the mom of the boy that you don't like the way he's sidelining your kids and these kids used to play with each other before he came and if he can't play with all of them,please find another home for him


That 13 year old boy seems like a child to you but he's subtly bringing negative energy into your home, before you know it your daughter will start having self esteem issues,she will be like why does he not like me but he likes my brother or depression can set in.from there jealousy will start,from there sibling rivalry.do the needful IMMEDIATELY

You can also use passive aggression for him by buying toys or clothes for everyone including your house help and leaving him out of the equation or taking them for a trip and telling the mom to come and carry her son and if she asks why,tell her her son is trying to divide or create disunity among your kids and you don't want that.

If he notices you buy stuffs and exclude him,he will ask you and if he doesn't gave the boldness, he will send one of your kids and then you will tell him the reason

SAMBARRY:
Call a family meeting, sit all your kids down,including your in-laws son and the housemaid. Your husband doesn't have to be there when the meeting is on.ask the boy why he doesn't like your daughter or likes to play with her?

Threaten him that if he Cannot play with everybody he will have to go back to his house or you will buy Xmas cloth for everyone and exclude him since he is excluding your daughter. Trust me he will adjust


Biko no let any in-law pikin bring any negative vibes to your home by trying to separate the kids because na so them dey take start family quarrel. If you're not careful,in-laws or their kids have a way of bringing toxic energy and so you need to curb it immediately

Option 2 tell the mom of the boy that you don't like the way he's sidelining your kids and these kids used to play with each other before he came and if he can't play with all of them,please find another home for him


That 13 year old boy seems like a child to you but he's subtly bringing negative energy into your home, before you know it your daughter will start having self esteem issues,she will be like why does he not like me but he likes my brother or depression can set in.from there jealousy will start,from there sibling rivalry.do the needful IMMEDIATELY

You can also use passive aggression for him by buying toys or clothes for everyone including your house help and leaving him out of the equation or taking them for a trip and telling the mom to come and carry her son and if she asks why,tell her her son is trying to divide or create disunity among your kids and you don't want that.

If he notices you buy stuffs and exclude him,he will ask you and if he doesn't gave the boldness, he will send one of your kids and then you will tell him the reason

. Thanks a lot. I have called the meeting without hubby and ask him, he would say nothing. I would try out buying stuffs and leaving him behind and see how that works. Thanks a lot.

Check with your son that he isnt sodomizing your son.....there are clues in your post thats caused the hairs on my back to rise........

He is 13, boys are closer to other boys at this age, would you rather he starts experimenting sexually with your daughter?


Also find out from your son if anything inappropriate is going on, have a talk with him calmly.

You have two teenagers in your home and you are concerned about the wrong thing

keepingmum:
Check with your son that he isnt sodomizing your son.....there are clues in your post thats caused the hairs on my back to rise........

Thanks for this answer. I was about typing the same thing.

@poster, you need to watch your son and the nephew closely in order to be sure that nothing strange is happening.

noted

Assist23:
He is 13, boys are closer to other boys at this age, would you rather he starts experimenting sexually with your daughter?


Also find out from your son if anything inappropriate is going on, have a talk with him calmly.

You have two teenagers in your home and you are concerned about the wrong thing

keepingmum:
Check with your son that he isnt sodomizing your son.....there are clues in your post thats caused the hairs on my back to rise........

IamSassy:


Thanks for this answer. I was about typing the same thing.

@poster, you need to watch your son and the nephew closely in order to be sure that nothing strange is happening.

keepingmum:
Check with your son that he isnt sodomizing your son.....there are clues in your post thats caused the hairs on my back to rise........

Na wa o...

Ranchhoddas:
Na wa o...

Notes you all. Thanks..