OP just brought back some memories.

Dad died when I was 4 even though I have a kid bro I was mum's favorite

One certain day like that my elder bro called for a meeting and questioned mum that why did she prefer me to the rest of them?

Mumsy denied that she loved us equally

Anywhere she dey go was always with me.

Na me sabi her salary and most of her things

Op my case was different as mum died we always do our things together please do try to make adjustments by treating them equally .

I have three kids just like you but you will never see me treating them the way you are treating yours even though it's hard to love them equally try as much as you can not to show it.

gabazin080:
I have heard people saying one has to love his kids equally or don't show it even if you love one more, but I find it hard to pretend .

I have 3 kids, a boy and twin girls. I love the 1st born more than the rest because he is a boy and love one of the twins more than the other.
I place the male as the number in the home even ahead of the mom. he is very smart for his age and resembles me 100 percent. and for the twins, I love the one that looks like my late mom and very smart than the other.


help I find it hard to love them equally or even pretend to love them equally and it's causing division in my home

You are the problem. You are quite self absorbed. Get over yourself, and all the I, My mom and all what freaking not. I can't teach you how to love your children and I wish I never read something as awkward as this. Damn! Still, whatever you do, make sure, you do it equally, or have a very logical reason ready when you have to explain the inequalities yo! I cant even pretend not to be mad.

Oluromantic:

That's the issue. Nigeria does not have provisional help for psychic patients. To even mention it sound insulting to some people because they think you're accusing them of madness.

You're so right about that. Mental health issues are on the rise in Nigeria but many are living in denial.

obstead200:

But u are so correct. The op is likely the picture u just painted.

You know those kind of people right, I'm 95% sure the nigga hates his dad, he's one of those people who are obsessed with how much wrong he feels the dad did to the mum, all the while under the careful manipulative tutelage of a mother who knows a weak brained child and is cashing home.
In return, d stupid boy hopes to resurrect the true essence of his mother by idolising her any chance he gets. He's a donkey afterall, what's more stupid is he's already doing what will make his own children also hate him, just like you noticed your mum's suffering, even that your best child Wil notice how you don't rate his mum, it will so pain you the way that boy will disgrace you later in life claiming you did his mother bad, he will always love his mother than you by the way, just the way you managed to think your mum is an idol.

I cn say this cos your post exposed you Mr OP, I've handled cases like yours, one thing you all have in common is being from plagued backgrounds without love, just cultural nd traditional mumu upbringing, no exposure, e jaa rara. How u see wife marry sef?

Reading this brings tears to my eyes,not that you can't have a favourite but the reason given ,now I see people on this forum making jest of feminism,things like this birthed the struggle,no wonder we have so many women battling with their esteem and so many entitled men,how we react to things like gender which is not our making baffles me,is it a crime to be born female?This angels will grow up knowing that they're not important and this is what pushes ladies into falling into wrong hands and people on this forum will enjoy making jest of them and calling them fish brain.The funny thing about stories like this is that more often than not the stone rejected by the builders becomes the chief cornerstone. Please do not create a monster by raising bitter women,because of when you'll need them.God be with those little angels,I pray their mother knows better to focus on them too.Women are so inferior yet you went ahead to get married

MissRaine69:

Or you could have just continued to scroll instead of masquerading as a comment monitor. It’s that simple.

Your choice of words though...what you're saying is that you don't quote others,right?
You can't kill me for quoting an immature piece. Change,biko

The OP said he places the boy even above his wife. Now thats very weird.

gabazin080:
I have heard people saying one has to love his kids equally or don't show it even if you love one more, but I find it hard to pretend .

I have 3 kids, a boy and twin girls. I love the 1st born more than the rest because he is a boy and love one of the twins more than the other.
I place the male as the number in the home even ahead of the mom. he is very smart for his age and resembles me 100 percent. and for the twins, I love the one that looks like my late mom and very smart than the other.


help I find it hard to love them equally or even pretend to love them equally and it's causing division in my home

That is very bad of you!

gabazin080:
I have heard people saying one has to love his kids equally or don't show it even if you love one more, but I find it hard to pretend .

I have 3 kids, a boy and twin girls. I love the 1st born more than the rest because he is a boy and love one of the twins more than the other.

help I find it hard to love them equally or even pretend to love them equally and it's causing division in my home

one way to approach it is this - whatever you do for any one of them make sure you equally do it for all!

verycheese:


You know those kind of people right, I'm 95% sure the nigga hates his dad, he's one of those people who are obsessed with how much wrong he feels the dad did to the mum, all the while under the careful manipulative tutelage of a mother who knows a weak brained child and is cashing home.
In return, d stupid boy hopes to resurrect the true essence of his mother by idolising her any chance he gets. He's a donkey afterall, what's more stupid is he's already doing what will make his own children also hate him, just like you noticed your mum's suffering, even that your best child Wil notice how you don't rate his mum, it will so pain you the way that boy will disgrace you later in life claiming you did his mother bad, he will always love his mother than you by the way, just the way you managed to think your mum is an idol.

I cn say this cos your post exposed you Mr OP, I've handled cases like yours, one thing you all have in common is being from plagued backgrounds without love, just cultural nd traditional mumu upbringing, no exposure, e jaa rara. How u see wife marry sef?

Well said sir.

the real problem is not with the kids .... you probably don't love their mother cos if you do loving her children wont be a problem irrespective of their looks and behaviors


id advice you get a divorce

MissRaine69:
Those poor children will grow up with a complex because one of their parents made sure they had low self esteem on account of preference. Please do this, every month put some money away so that your children can access psychotherapy later in life. They will need it.
This is how young girls seek love in the wrong places and end up with men who mistreat them because they are looking for love they never got at home.
Your child knows you love them less and that is so so sad.

Bless your wisdom!

gabazin080:
I spend plenty of quality time with them during weekends. we go out but not together most times because am someone who doesn't like attention. whenever we go shopping together, I always feel like the center of attraction because of the numbers I took with me.
so most times I only go out shopping with my son and buy things for those at home.


am not enjoying it but I just find it hard to love them equally.
I need help

Jeez. This comment shows you really need help. You're really sick mehn

gabazin080:
I spend plenty of quality time with them during weekends. we go out but not together most times because am someone who doesn't like attention. whenever we go shopping together, I always feel like the center of attraction because of the numbers I took with me.
so most times I only go out shopping with my son and buy things for those at home.


am not enjoying it but I just find it hard to love them equally.
I need help

Jeez. This comment shows you really need help. You're really sick mehn

gabazin080:
I spend plenty of quality time with them during weekends. we go out but not together most times because am someone who doesn't like attention. whenever we go shopping together, I always feel like the center of attraction because of the numbers I took with me.
so most times I only go out shopping with my son and buy things for those at home.


am not enjoying it but I just find it hard to love them equally.
I need help

Jeez. This comment shows you really need help. You're really sick mehn

successfulhadi22:
I have 6 siblings and up till today I don't know which one of us my parents love the most

Your parents are good people. I can't say the same about my mum. However, my dad loves us equally. I can't seem to forgive my mum for showing favoritism to her eldest child.

gabazin080:
I have heard people saying one has to love his kids equally or don't show it even if you love one more, but I find it hard to pretend .

I have 3 kids, a boy and twin girls. I love the 1st born more than the rest because he is a boy and love one of the twins more than the other.
I place the male as the number in the home even ahead of the mom. he is very smart for his age and resembles me 100 percent. and for the twins, I love the one that looks like my late mom and very smart than the other.


help I find it hard to love them equally or even pretend to love them equally and it's causing division in my home

My brother iam sorry for you oh, can't really imagine not loving my kids equally, I have a girl and two boys, I have some level of soft spot for the girl cos she is my first child and looks like my mother, but I love all of them equally and try to treat them same without biase or preference. Please try and correct this now before it gets out of hand, there is no assurance that the one you prefer will treat you well or better in your old age.

gabazin080:
I spend plenty of quality time with them during weekends. we go out but not together most times because am someone who doesn't like attention. whenever we go shopping together, I always feel like the center of attraction because of the numbers I took with me.
so most times I only go out shopping with my son and buy things for those at home.


am not enjoying it but I just find it hard to love them equally.
I need help

You can rotate your shopping companion. Take d boy today, one of d twins d next time and den d last or anyhow you want to do it. Trust me, you'll start learning more about your supposed less favourites and you'll love them more.

Pavore9:


Which one be psychoskanskan?

You're right the boy is likely going to grow up with a sense of entitlement.

that is what is wrong with alot of grown men today and why some of them treat women poorly.Poor home training.

Pavore9:


You're so right about that. Mental health issues are on the rise in Nigeria but many are living in denial.

when people think the church is a hospital. I weep for Nigeria

I can only wish you well.. keep it up.. show ur favoritism well enough...This ur post remind me of my childhood dayz.. i was hated by my father for reason unknown to me..Out of 3 of us na only me go public sch, i was d only one whose birthday was never celebrated.. I was so much hated by my father he didnt even hid the abundant love he showered on my elder broda n kid sista.. He refused to pay my common entrace fee.I remember getting to the venue alone@ duste abuja. I remember being all alone and lost.I was mocked by little kids because i was malnourished, had a very big for d size of a young kid. A close uncle told me hw he always refuse to drop feeding moni..I grew up drinking akamu unlike my elder broda n sista. Make i leave story jare.. You think dey r smal abi.. you would be surprise dey already knw... Till 2day i dont feel comfortable around my dad

Your folly knows no bounds. By the time they will grow and notice it then the seed of hatred will change to a forest your afonja eyes will clear.

gabazin080:
I have heard people saying one has to love his kids equally or don't show it even if you love one more, but I find it hard to pretend .

I have 3 kids, a boy and twin girls. I love the 1st born more than the rest because he is a boy and love one of the twins more than the other.
I place the male as the number in the home even ahead of the mom. he is very smart for his age and resembles me 100 percent. and for the twins, I love the one that looks like my late mom and very smart than the other.


help I find it hard to love them equally or even pretend to love them equally and it's causing division in my home

verycheese:
I know your type. You're so full of yourself. So you and your mother are so great that anybody that looks like you is a marvel. Local mentality boy, I can imagine your type of background, you were raised very poorly, see how it's affecting your life now.
Develop sense, olopolo riri

I like your nonsensical approach to this and nothing can be farther from the truth.

Many are mad but few enter road

Pavore9:


You're so right about that. Mental health issues are on the rise in Nigeria but many are living in denial.

It is normal not to love equally, you just have to work on yourself and show them love equally

Magnifik18:


You are sick in the head.. that's all I can state about it.

I came to this conclusion too. Very disgusting indeed.

Ahmed0336:
OP just brought back some memories.

Dad died when I was 4 even though I have a kid bro I was mum's favorite

Thing is, children always know. And they'll carry that pain or emptiness around them for life. It's why your brother found the courage to question your mum. Too sad what our parents do to us.

needful:


You are very intelligent. In any marriage that lacks love among the parents, that is what you see. He hates the other twin because she look like her mum, then love the other ones because they resemble him and his mother. Irony of life

Don't mind the op my brother, he knows where his problems lies and he's dodging it.

ZIMDRILL:


let me help you as someone looking into a different culture and nationality than mine

i am a zimbabwean and been fancinated about nigerians as due to culture, attitude, mind set etc

and i was lucky to damp into this forum it give me a rough idea of nigerians culture etc

So it seems like a male child is a very sensetive matter in most nigerians, and you guys you are very proud of family name that a male child is a must in a family

So as for you you were lucky to say your 1st child is a male so, you it was like striking gold. Your brains and culture has more respect to boys and they will carry on with family name so pride in everything is on the male child, this is to due to how you made brought to believe and its cultural thing around you

thats how i see it as an outsider

where is the solution to the problem in this?

or u only wanted us to know Zimbabweans ar on NL too?

you better love them equally, you don't know what tomorrow brings.... Be wise... The one you don't like may turn out to be the greatest among the three. Hmmm

gabazin080:
I spend plenty of quality time with them during weekends. we go out but not together most times because am someone who doesn't like attention. whenever we go shopping together, I always feel like the center of attraction because of the numbers I took with me.
so most times I only go out shopping with my son and buy things for those at home.


am not enjoying it but I just find it hard to love them equally.
I need help

You are setting up your so called favorite child to become spoilt and eventually a failure in life. (God forbid).