If your partners says he doesn't owe you happiness after you demand for improvement in some areas in the relationship, will you still remain in the marriage or relationship?

But in all honesty no one is responsible for your happiness but you. Your spouse is not responsible for making you happy. Happiness is sole your responsibility! This is solid truth whether we women like it or not

Such pronouncement is inevitable when a sane person is dealing with a typical small-minded person. . . to a small-minded person the world revolves around him/her. She can only be happy when she succeeds in subjugating you, so it's either your dominion, dignity or sanity. But as an unconquerable person, when you've indulged enough of her bullshit after exhausting diplomatic and volitional slavery mechanisms in your arsenal to maintain peace with her, without her being satiable as expected, you let out the blunt statement.

Meanwhile, staying put in the relationship or not will depend on many personal factors. OP if you're the one in this situation, let go of either your possessive or domineering attitude and see how harmony and happiness will automatically locate you and yours.

Truly, he doesn't owe you happiness, but surely he owes you goodness. If he can't offer you goodness, it means he's insane, and a sane person shouldn't be caught putting up with an insane person.

I will remain in the marriage but I won’t owe him happiness too so he can learn that it doesn’t work that way especially if it is something that requires compromise.

OP,In as much as we are solely responsible for our happiness.I think it is disrespecting to rub it on your partner's face.Making your partner happy does not entail you becoming a comedian or an entertainer for them.You don't need to be coached on how to live peacefully with your significant other.

I am of the opinion that it is the husband's duty to make the wife happy ditto the wife. If I wanted to make myself happy, I would remain single.

@OP: Very unfortunate as you would have a hard marriage however not a basis for divorce or separation.

who happiness epp? a man's duty is to support and love the wife no matter what.. ensure she is catered for. entertaining her is her own responsibility.
to me it is just emotional blackmail to be threatening me with, I am not happy.. kukuma use happiness to chop.

Even if he was thinking it, there was really no point saying it.
That just smacks of someone who talks too much.

yes...
your happiness lies with you my dear.
I like a straight talking man/woman and its good you all know the scores early on in the union.
it helps to prepare you mentally for any upheaval or what not.

bukatyne:
I am of the opinion that it is the husband's duty to make the wife happy ditto the wife. If I wanted to make myself happy, I would remain single.

@OP: Very unfortunate as you would have a hard marriage however not a basis for divorce or separation.

A husband's duty is to be altruistic and conscientious - good in general - towards his wife, and any good woman will be happy with such. However, a small-minded woman (just like a small-minded man) can only be happy if she succeeds in subjugating him, which entails him using servility to sustain the relationship. So, happiness is a choice - a husband doesn't automatically owe his wife happiness.

I am happy by nature so don't make me sad!

No one owes anyone happiness, we owe each other the conditions in which we can be happy. You are the one in control of your happiness, don't let anyone tell you otherwise

He is right... Every one both male and female are responsible for what makes them happy..... He owes u love and respect..But as for how u feel about that is up to you.... Asking him to make u happy is just being unrealistic... U have to draw happiness from what he can offer...

Why do you think Jennifer Lopez keeps on getting married.. do u think she likes it?.. I think she realised that she was the Archetect of her happiness...

Women's most unhealthy mindset is this prince charming ideology, and we have to stop it! Look for a teacher in a man, a disciplined man... forget this "make me happy" bs, and go figure out your life, you have to deal with the problem rather than reverting to feelings. It's not easy being a woman, and society won't allow us to change and grow but we can't give our powers away and then cry victims!

#GIrlPoWer

...

I agree. Both should strive to make each other happy.

bukatyne:
I am of the opinion that it is the husband's duty to make the wife happy ditto the wife.

sweetilicious:
OP,In as much as we are solely responsible for our happiness.I think it is disrespecting to rub it on your partner's face.Making your partner happy does not entail you becoming a comedian or an entertainer for them.You don't need to be coached on how to live peacefully with your significant other.

Truth is, we tend to hear that word over and over again but in reality, it is not necessary true, particularly in a relationship. 'Simple' acts of love are capable of making others happy, let alone going out of our way to just to make sure they smile. There is a reason why humans are gregarious in nature.

pandv:
If your partners says he doesn't owe you happiness after you demand for improvement in some areas in the relationship, will you still remain in the marriage or relationship?

Lol me wey no dey advocate for divorce
I think I'll have to think twice before extending our marriage

Guest007:
Women's most unhealthy mindset is this prince charming ideology, and we have to stop it! Look for a teacher in a man, a disciplined man... forget this "make me happy" bs, and go figure out your life, you have to deal with the problem rather than reverting to feelings. It's not easy being a woman, and society won't allow us to change and grow but we can't give our powers away and then cry victims!

#GIrlPoWer

This makes sense but you seem to be forgetting that happiness in itself is not necessarily as a result of material or monetary gains. What could make one person happy might not necessarily apply to the next. As such, a disciplined man or a one with a calm, teachable spirit could make her woman happy just by exhibiting these traits often.

Besides, a meaningful relationship/union should be one where both folks owe each other and strive to continually make the other person happy. One way or another, it fuels whatever they have. Once it is out of the door, frustration sets in and both might just want to bail on the other st any given opportunity. It is not necessarily about the man or the woman here but both.

yvelchstores:
But in all honesty no one is responsible for your happiness but you. Your spouse is not responsible for making you happy. Happiness is sole your responsibility! This is solid truth whether we women like it or not

I think you misunderstanding this
In as much as no one should be/is responsible for our happiness is true
We still owe our partner(s) a sense of responsibilty for that.
Its just to improve in a particular aspect right?
Ok lets take for example, your sex life.
If you had an husband who doesn't satisfy you sexually and you ask him for an improvement and he tells you he doesn't owe you one bit of happiness(like you claim is the truth).
What do you then, do you say to yourself "Oh yh he's right, I'm solely responsible for my happiness." You then go to use a Love Machine or a preferably find someone who can satisfy you??
Is that it?
Or you acknowledge the fact that you guys owe eachother benefits and responsibilities.
Imperfect people working towards...

Sanchez01:

This makes sense but you seem to be forgetting that happiness in itself is not necessarily as a result of material or monetary gains. What could make one person happy might not necessarily apply to the next. As such, a disciplined man or a one with a calm, teachable spirit could make her woman happy just by exhibiting these traits often.

Besides, a meaningful relationship/union should be one where both folks owe each other and strive to continually make the other person happy. One way or another, it fuels whatever they have. Once it is out of the door, frustration sets in and both might just want to bail on the other st any given opportunity. It is not necessarily about the man or the woman here but both.

Maybe it's just the language used that I'm finding uncomfortable, I don't think I owe anyone happiness because that's not my job as a human being. I can control the conditions and the environment, be sure not to cause drama etc...

I might give you love and attention but you just need space... I've been bought gifts and told jokes and I just couldn't appreciate it, because I needed to work through my feelings.

Knowing all this why would I expect happiness from others... haven't you been in a crowd and felt lonely, or in the most beautiful surroundings, but you were sad. Other times you're sat down doing absolutely nothing special yet, you feel overwhelming happiness.

People can try to make you happy but it's your choice to be happy.

PaulAris:

I think you misunderstanding this
In as much as no one should be/is responsible for our happiness is true
We still owe our partner(s) a sense of responsibilty for that.
Its just to improve in a particular aspect right?
Ok lets take for example, your sex life.
If you had an husband who doesn't satisfy you sexually and you ask him for an improvement and he tells you he doesn't owe you one bit of happiness(like you claim is the truth).
What do you then, do you say to yourself "Oh yh he's right, I'm solely responsible for my happiness." You then go to use a Love Machine or a preferably find someone who can satisfy you??
Is that it?
Or you acknowledge the fact that you guys owe eachother benefits and responsibilities.
Imperfect people working towards...

Sounds like a misunderstanding somewhere. Why not call it what it is *unsatisfactory sex life* it's not happiness, it's something that can be worked on...

Haven't you seen people who just don't make each other happy. They could have everything but they are not happy what can you do for such a person? Is it your fault they're not happy?

Now if she said your D size doesn't make her happy. What do you do? He says after all these years, and this family, he isn't happy.

I think people are using the wrong word here! Instead of using the word happiness, state what is the issues and deal with the issue.

Cheating*
Lying *
Hygiene*
Finances*

Deal with the issue

Guest007:


Sounds like a misunderstanding somewhere. Why not call it what it is *unsatisfactory sex life* it's not happiness, it's something that can be worked on

I think people are using the wrong word here! Instead of using the word happiness, state what is the issues and deal with the issue.

Dude! you shifting from the point
Who's this?
Is this the same person cause you sound more lost
You know what, where are you cause ammah come get you from that wilderness. (How do you see my sarcasm, I'm working on my Pun intuition)
...
So,
[At bold]; Oh puleez! Give a woman a good sex continously, she's gonna be happy always
You ever given a girl multiple orgasms and she's depressed or unhappy?
Don't you know there's an happyness inducing hormone secreted during orgasms?
Aren't you a girl-lady??
...
[At Underline]; It doesn't work that way, not for me maybe
Stating issues and dealing with it one by one is wastage of time girly!
Why not deal with it all together?

[Comment Withdrawn]

Guest007:

Haven't you seen people who just don't make each other happy. They could have everything but they are not happy what can you do for such a person? Is it your fault they're not happy?

Now if she said your D size doesn't make her happy. What do you do? He says after all these years, and this family, he isn't happy.

Yh, I have seen and I know the causes
Waitt.. why are you even asking me what to do?!
But if you asked to know what I'd do if I married a lady like that(maybe you): I'll find the cause of the unhappiness but I won't deal with it(them) as it is(are).
Like I said before , why not deal with all the problems all together than wasting time doing one by one
...
Did I ever mention size?
So you attribute poor sex performance to the size of the Cock?
For you Poor sex=Lil' Cock?
I just hope I understood you wrongly in this last part cause I'll just...
...
[At Underline]; I'm good at explaining what I'm used to but I think I can imagine this, lol

GrossPrice:

I doubt you thought about this deeply.

Lol! Well she could have a good reason why she said that, we'd just have to find out

bukatyne:
I am of the opinion that it is the husband's duty to make the wife happy ditto the wife. If I wanted to make myself happy, I would remain single.

@OP: Very unfortunate as you would have a hard marriage however not a basis for divorce or separation.

Duty??
When you say duty, you make it seem like its the purpose of Man coming to earth or like its a punishment for him marrying the wife instead of a benefit

pandv:
If your partners says he doesn't owe you happiness after you demand for improvement in some areas in the relationship, will you still remain in the marriage or relationship?

Your happiness is not tied to a man.

...

PaulAris:

I think you misunderstanding this
In as much as no one should be/is responsible for our happiness is true
We still owe our partner(s) a sense of responsibilty for that.
Its just to improve in a particular aspect right?
Ok lets take for example, your sex life.
If you had an husband who doesn't satisfy you sexually and you ask him for an improvement and he tells you he doesn't owe you one bit of happiness(like you claim is the truth).
What do you then, do you say to yourself "Oh yh he's right, I'm solely responsible for my happiness." You then go to use a Love Machine or a preferably find someone who can satisfy you??
Is that it?
Or you acknowledge the fact that you guys owe eachother benefits and responsibilities.
Imperfect people working towards...

very valid points. Noted.

Jirair:
It's not and it never has been.

But when you're married to someone, it certainly is.
A joint identity usually takes place during marriage and believe it or not the most successful marriages out there possess it. You still have your own individual identity and must, but that joint identity becomes extremely important in holding the marriage together.

Bottom line: In a marriage both parties should strive to make each other happy via how they treat and relate with each other. If that's too much to ask for and one party doesn't care about making changes to better the marriage (which is what the wife is suggesting), then they're better off going their separate ways.

Your analogy is on point,but I still maintain my stand that our happiness should not be tied to a man/woman. The reasons are obvious...yeah yeah,we all want partners that can "complete" us and all sorts, but how many of us are lucky enough to end up with such people? The world we live in today is full of evil, hate and negativity and expecting a happiness from a man/woman means expecting them to give what they do not have.

LordKO:
Such pronouncement is inevitable when a sane person is dealing with a typical small-minded person. . . to a small-minded person the world revolves around him/her. She can only be happy when she succeeds in subjugating you, so it's either your dominion, dignity or sanity. But as an unconquerable person, when you've indulged enough of her bullshit after exhausting diplomatic and volitional slavery mechanisms in your arsenal to maintain peace with her, without her being satiable as expected, you let out the blunt statement.

Meanwhile, staying put in the relationship or not will depend on many personal factors. OP if you're the one in this situation, let go of either your possessive or domineering attitude and see how harmony and happiness will automatically locate you and yours.

Truly, he doesn't owe you happiness, but surely he owes you goodness. If he can't offer you goodness, it means he's insane, and a sane person shouldn't be caught putting up with an insane person.

Na true you talk boss. I learned this the hard way.

No point staying. Happiness comes from within and you don't need anyone to make you happy. But a spouse should contribute to your happiness. If he or she cannot, that person aint worth it