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When He Says I Don't Owe You Happiness. Will You Still Remain In The Marriage? - Family (2) - Nairaland

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Re: When He Says I Don't Owe You Happiness. Will You Still Remain In The Marriage? by Biglittlelois(f): 7:43pm On Apr 03, 2019
LordKO:
Such pronouncement is inevitable when a sane person is dealing with a typical small-minded person. . . to a small-minded person the world revolves around him/her. She can only be happy when she succeeds in subjugating you, so it's either your dominion, dignity or sanity. But as an unconquerable person, when you've indulged enough of her bullshit after exhausting diplomatic and volitional slavery mechanisms in your arsenal to maintain peace with her, without her being satiable as expected, you let out the blunt statement.

Meanwhile, staying put in the relationship or not will depend on many personal factors. OP if you're the one in this situation, let go of either your possessive or domineering attitude and see how harmony and happiness will automatically locate you and yours.

Truly, he doesn't owe you happiness, but surely he owes you goodness. If he can't offer you goodness, it means he's insane, and a sane person shouldn't be caught putting up with an insane person.



grin grin I know why I'm smiling grin grin
Re: When He Says I Don't Owe You Happiness. Will You Still Remain In The Marriage? by Biglittlelois(f): 7:48pm On Apr 03, 2019
I think the problem here is compromise not really happiness, something that will work for both of you but he's not ready to give in, probably cos you complain and nag about it too much, you don't have to leave a marriage cos of that statement, that's absurd, work on your temperament, attitude and character and see if he'll change.
Re: When He Says I Don't Owe You Happiness. Will You Still Remain In The Marriage? by Nobody: 10:32am On Apr 05, 2019
LordKO:
Such pronouncement is inevitable when a sane person is dealing with a typical small-minded person. . . to a small-minded person the world revolves around him/her. She can only be happy when she succeeds in subjugating you, so it's either your dominion, dignity or sanity. But as an unconquerable person, when you've indulged enough of her bullshit after exhausting diplomatic and volitional slavery mechanisms in your arsenal to maintain peace with her, without her being satiable as expected, you let out the blunt statement.

Meanwhile, staying put in the relationship or not will depend on many personal factors. OP if you're the one in this situation, let go of either your possessive or domineering attitude and see how harmony and happiness will automatically locate you and yours.

Truly, he doesn't owe you happiness, but surely he owes you goodness. If he can't offer you goodness, it means he's insane, and a sane person shouldn't be caught putting up with an insane person.



Special thanks to you this has been helpful. Thanks to everyone that contributed.

1 Like

Re: When He Says I Don't Owe You Happiness. Will You Still Remain In The Marriage? by Fhemmmy: 5:25pm On Apr 05, 2019
pandv:
If your partners says he doesn't owe you happiness after you demand for improvement in some areas in the relationship, will you still remain in the marriage or relationship?

Happiness starts from you and not the other way around, when you make your happiness to revolve around someone, you are one step from being ripped apart. Make yourself happy first, discover what makes you happy and others will be able to contribute to make you happier or be able to sustain the happiness.

1 Like

Re: When He Says I Don't Owe You Happiness. Will You Still Remain In The Marriage? by LordKO(m): 8:46pm On Apr 05, 2019
Biglittlelois:


grin grin I know why I'm smiling grin grin

Lol. Forget it, clairvoyance isn't your forte.
Re: When He Says I Don't Owe You Happiness. Will You Still Remain In The Marriage? by Nobody: 8:51pm On Apr 05, 2019
bukatyne:
I am of the opinion that it is the husband's duty to make the wife happy ditto the wife. If I wanted to make myself happy, I would remain single.

@OP: Very unfortunate as you would have a hard marriage however not a basis for divorce or separation.


I think you should just go back to being single honestly.
Re: When He Says I Don't Owe You Happiness. Will You Still Remain In The Marriage? by nicepoker101(m): 8:51pm On Apr 05, 2019
The period you stay away from of relationship with the opposite sex. That's the moment you can think normal.

2 Likes

Re: When He Says I Don't Owe You Happiness. Will You Still Remain In The Marriage? by thaoriginator: 8:52pm On Apr 05, 2019
He's right. Happiness comes from within you cry
Re: When He Says I Don't Owe You Happiness. Will You Still Remain In The Marriage? by Nobody: 8:52pm On Apr 05, 2019
Story of naija

Husband: do this so that you can become a more responsible wife.



Wife: no, who are you to advise me? You are a wicked husband, you always do evil, you are a snake, you want to dominate me, I can never trust you, bla bla bla........................................



Husband: okay if you feel this way about me there is no point remaining in this marriage. We should separate.



Wife: never, we are married and our marriage is not negotiable. Rather than us separating I will rather poison both of us and we will both die.



Husband: this marriage is not working so why are you being unreasonable?



Wife: I don't care. Rather than see you enjoying a better marriage it's better we both die.
Re: When He Says I Don't Owe You Happiness. Will You Still Remain In The Marriage? by Kay512: 8:55pm On Apr 05, 2019
zeb04:
I will remain in the marriage but I won’t owe him happiness too so he can learn that it doesn’t work that way especially if it is something that requires compromise.
The sad reality of this is that this will transfer, sooner or later, to other aspects of the relationship.

Another thing is, we react to situations differently and if you pay in same coin, the man can take it to his head.

With just #3,500, you too can start a blog. Ask me how.
Re: When He Says I Don't Owe You Happiness. Will You Still Remain In The Marriage? by ibkayee(f): 8:56pm On Apr 05, 2019
No-one owes you happiness but it's a weird thing to say, particularly coming from a partner lol
Re: When He Says I Don't Owe You Happiness. Will You Still Remain In The Marriage? by Pragmaticman: 8:56pm On Apr 05, 2019
Guest007:
Women's most unhealthy mindset is this prince charming ideology, and we have to stop it! Look for a teacher in a man, a disciplined man... forget this "make me happy" bs, and go figure out your life, you have to deal with the problem rather than reverting to feelings. It's not easy being a woman, and society won't allow us to change and grow but we can't give our powers away and then cry victims!

#GIrlPoWer grin
u sound like a wife material. Can I pm u pls
Re: When He Says I Don't Owe You Happiness. Will You Still Remain In The Marriage? by Emotionss: 8:57pm On Apr 05, 2019
Op being happy is your responsibility. No body can make you happy but yourself
Re: When He Says I Don't Owe You Happiness. Will You Still Remain In The Marriage? by Ablechukwu(m): 9:00pm On Apr 05, 2019
Hmmmmm. Nobody owes yuh happiness. and whaf if the woman isn't happy after all ur good doing? some women re naturally sadistic.

1 Like

Re: When He Says I Don't Owe You Happiness. Will You Still Remain In The Marriage? by Emotionss: 9:01pm On Apr 05, 2019
[color=#006600][/color]
bukatyne:
I am of the opinion that it is the husband's duty to make the wife happy ditto the wife. If I wanted to make myself happy, I would remain single.

@OP: Very unfortunate as you would have a hard marriage however not a basis for divorce or separation.


The choice of being happy or sad your responsibility. In the real sense of the world only you can make yourself happy. Depending on others will lead to disappointments and heart breaks.
Re: When He Says I Don't Owe You Happiness. Will You Still Remain In The Marriage? by abbatoir(m): 9:01pm On Apr 05, 2019
LordKO:
Such pronouncement is inevitable when a sane person is dealing with a typical small-minded person. . . to a small-minded person the world revolves around him/her. She can only be happy when she succeeds in subjugating you, so it's either your dominion, dignity or sanity. But as an unconquerable person, when you've indulged enough of her bullshit after exhausting diplomatic and volitional slavery mechanisms in your arsenal to maintain peace with her, without her being satiable as expected, you let out the blunt statement.

Meanwhile, staying put in the relationship or not will depend on many personal factors. OP if you're the one in this situation, let go of either your possessive or domineering attitude and see how harmony and happiness will automatically locate you and yours.

Truly, he doesn't owe you happiness, but surely he owes you goodness. If he can't offer you goodness, it means he's insane, and a sane person shouldn't be caught putting up with an insane person.


Quick one:is this analysis come from your personal psycology of thinking or culled from a book.. please I need an honest answer.
Thanks

1 Like

Re: When He Says I Don't Owe You Happiness. Will You Still Remain In The Marriage? by Fhemmmy: 9:05pm On Apr 05, 2019
Ablechukwu:
Hmmmmm. Nobody owes yuh happiness.
and whaf if the woman isn't happy after all ur good doing?
some women re naturally sadistic.

No one is naturally a sadist without a reason
Re: When He Says I Don't Owe You Happiness. Will You Still Remain In The Marriage? by LordKO(m): 9:06pm On Apr 05, 2019
abbatoir:

Quick one:is this analysis come from your personal psycology of thinking or culled from a book.. please I need an honest answer.
Thanks


It's a "personal psychology of thinking."
Re: When He Says I Don't Owe You Happiness. Will You Still Remain In The Marriage? by ggzfred: 9:06pm On Apr 05, 2019
http://d10.o2tvseries.com/Legacies/Season%2001/Legacies%20-%20S01E16%20(TvShows4Mobile.Com).mp4
Re: When He Says I Don't Owe You Happiness. Will You Still Remain In The Marriage? by shadeyinka(m): 9:07pm On Apr 05, 2019
pandv:
If your partners says he doesn't owe you happiness after you demand for improvement in some areas in the relationship, will you still remain in the marriage or relationship?
You demand for improvement not to make him happier but for your own sake?!

It doesn't work like that. Appreciate his area of goodness, complement his area of badness, Overlook some areas of weakness. Encourage the good side for there is no perfect man anywhere

Although, it was harsh for him to have said that.

There is a natural tendency of a woman to kill love due to over familiarity. We overlook the good sides of him and allow his weaknesses to dominate and kill our joy.
Re: When He Says I Don't Owe You Happiness. Will You Still Remain In The Marriage? by ggzfred: 9:08pm On Apr 05, 2019
http://d10.o2tvseries.com/Legacies/Season%2001/Legacies%20-%20S01E16%20TvShows4Mobile.Com.mp4 yr
Re: When He Says I Don't Owe You Happiness. Will You Still Remain In The Marriage? by abbatoir(m): 9:09pm On Apr 05, 2019
LordKO:


A husband's duty is to be altruistic and conscientious - good in general - towards his wife, and any good woman will be happy with such. However, a small-minded woman (just like a small-minded man) can only be happy if she succeeds in subjugating him, which entails him using servility to sustain the relationship. So, happiness is a choice - a husband doesn't automatically owe his wife happiness.



I admire your good reason.. Kudos!

6 Likes

Re: When He Says I Don't Owe You Happiness. Will You Still Remain In The Marriage? by LilMissFavvy(f): 9:10pm On Apr 05, 2019
If it is a relationship, quit immediately. But if it is in a marriage, you don't need to quit becos of the kids. Just live your life, do the things that make you happy, and keep a good distance from such a partner, cuz if he does not care about your happiness, den why shd you care abt his?

1 Like

Re: When He Says I Don't Owe You Happiness. Will You Still Remain In The Marriage? by abbatoir(m): 9:11pm On Apr 05, 2019
LordKO:



It's a "personal psychology of thinking."
Good to know... please chat me up on 08091110234

I choose friend only based on good intelligence... being an introvert
Re: When He Says I Don't Owe You Happiness. Will You Still Remain In The Marriage? by Biglittlelois(f): 9:14pm On Apr 05, 2019
LordKO:


Lol. Forget it, clairvoyance isn't your forte.


Lol okay.
Re: When He Says I Don't Owe You Happiness. Will You Still Remain In The Marriage? by Apination(m): 9:18pm On Apr 05, 2019
Very selfish, inconsiderate and stupid statement. Then what's the point of having a relationship? This is why there are so many broken homes and toxic home environment in Nigeria because that statement means you do not give a shit about what happens to them or not. That's why Parents can abdicate their responsibilities towards their families spending on frivolities and the children will grow up bitter and angry and return same favor to their parents and if it comes into limelight, it's the same people supporting this notion that would start saying they shouldn't treat their parents in such a manner.

The ripple effect of such a mindset is devastating, please if that's how retarded your thinking is don't bring in more potentially angry people into this world because that's what would play out undecided

3 Likes

Re: When He Says I Don't Owe You Happiness. Will You Still Remain In The Marriage? by abbatoir(m): 9:18pm On Apr 05, 2019
Guest007:
Women's most unhealthy mindset is this prince charming ideology, and we have to stop it! Look for a teacher in a man, a disciplined man... forget this "make me happy" bs, and go figure out your life, you have to deal with the problem rather than reverting to feelings. It's not easy being a woman, and society won't allow us to change and grow but we can't give our powers away and then cry victims!

#GIrlPoWer grin
If you are not married yet... just maintain this your conviction.. Trust me.. you will attract goodness.. I mean good guy .They were rear though but available!

.... words is cheap though...I hope you maintain your words
Re: When He Says I Don't Owe You Happiness. Will You Still Remain In The Marriage? by akiOYIBO: 9:23pm On Apr 05, 2019
bukatyne:
I am of the opinion that it is the husband's duty to make the wife happy ditto the wife. If I wanted to make myself happy, I would remain single.

@OP: Very unfortunate as you would have a hard marriage however not a basis for divorce or separation.

Then u must be an uneducated fool.
Re: When He Says I Don't Owe You Happiness. Will You Still Remain In The Marriage? by ganganawuj: 9:24pm On Apr 05, 2019
pandv:
If your partners says he doesn't owe you happiness after you demand for improvement in some areas in the relationship, will you still remain in the marriage or relationship?

As a man, it would ve taken endless nagging to push me to the point of telling some1 I don’t owe them happiness...
And I would feel relief if someone who ‘demands’ things off of me decides to call an end to the relationship for whatever reason of theirs.
On to the next woman. Variety, some say, is the spice of life
Re: When He Says I Don't Owe You Happiness. Will You Still Remain In The Marriage? by Ablechukwu(m): 9:27pm On Apr 05, 2019
Fhemmmy:

No one is naturally a sadist without a reason
My dear Research more.
Re: When He Says I Don't Owe You Happiness. Will You Still Remain In The Marriage? by gerizzim: 9:27pm On Apr 05, 2019
D man here appears to be a blunt kinda dude and possibly more intellectually sound Dan d woman. It may be an innocent statement from the man bt was misinterpreted by the wife.

D meaning the man will give to dat sentence will be entirely different if the woman is to interpret it.
Dis sentence "Don't be a fool" will be interpreted differently by pple. The meaning you give to sometin dts wat Dt Tin means to you.

Som persons av dis Moody and depressive disposition towards life and they think life(sombdy) owes Dem happiness.

We are a separate individual bfor we attach ourself to a spouse in marriage. If you as a separate individual DNT exude happiness ,u can't get such from ur spouse even if ur spouse bcoms a comedian in the huz because of you.

if u urself DNT av ur own inbuilt happiness ,u can't get such from ur spouse.

We all shud carry our own happiness ND not be waiting for anoda person to mek us happy in marriage inclusive.
Re: When He Says I Don't Owe You Happiness. Will You Still Remain In The Marriage? by watchindelta(m): 9:27pm On Apr 05, 2019
Who care about happiness or luv in this new world. Half bake luv everywhere

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