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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / When He Says I Don't Owe You Happiness. Will You Still Remain In The Marriage? (21987 Views)
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Re: When He Says I Don't Owe You Happiness. Will You Still Remain In The Marriage? by IdreamOfUnicorn(f): 9:32pm On Apr 05, 2019 |
“Take responsibility of your own happiness; never put it in other people’s hands.” ― Roy T. Bennett Many times, you may have found yourself relying on someone else to make you feel happy . Sometimes they do but most of the times they do not. And who can blame them? No one can blame them even though we find ourselves mad at them for falling below our expectations of them making us happy. What many people do not realize is that our happiness is our responsibility. No one was put on earth to make another person happy. In as much as we may want to make others happy and require that they also make us happy, it is not our or their responsibility to make anyone happy. That is the cruel fact that we must face and wake up from. When we understand that our happiness is our responsibility, no one will ever have the power to make us unhappy. |
Re: When He Says I Don't Owe You Happiness. Will You Still Remain In The Marriage? by IdreamOfUnicorn(f): 9:33pm On Apr 05, 2019 |
The phrase “You owe me” should never be said in a marriage. There’s an underlying current to “you owe me.” It tells the other person that they must do something nice for you in return or else. Or else you’ll resent them. Or else you’ll withhold physical or emotional affection. Or else you’ll slack off on your marriage duties until they repay you somehow. Common themes in wedding vows are things like “for better or for worse, in sickness and in health,” and within those sentiments is the apex of marriage: to love selflessly. Marriage is a committed partnership to honor one another, and “you owe me” sucks the love and respect right out of a relationship. Marriage is about give and take, yes, but it is also about putting your partner’s needs ahead of your own. It is sacrificial love. It is setting aside what makes you happy and instead doing what makes your partner happy. My saying “you owe me” was really me saying, “We are not equal partners right now. I have the upper hand and I’ll be damned if you don’t find a way to return the favor.” It forced him to feel as though he had to make it up to me — and fast — or something detrimental might occur. It might take away his option, his choice, his heartfelt desire to love me selflessly, and turned it into a requirement. That is not love. Marriage is hard. Even good marriages are riddled with difficulties, barriers, and bleak seasons. 1 Like |
Re: When He Says I Don't Owe You Happiness. Will You Still Remain In The Marriage? by Nobody: 9:38pm On Apr 05, 2019 |
Okay, just imagine your 'real' happiness when you become single again. So, DIVORCE him NOW! |
Re: When He Says I Don't Owe You Happiness. Will You Still Remain In The Marriage? by useful4us(m): 9:41pm On Apr 05, 2019 |
LordKO: This your brain ehn, I am sure it was not manufactured in Nigeria. u murdered the topic and buried it. I doff my hat o 10 Likes |
Re: When He Says I Don't Owe You Happiness. Will You Still Remain In The Marriage? by gerizzim: 9:45pm On Apr 05, 2019 |
Anoda tin we shud look at is wat was the offshoot from wc the man made dt statement. Is it dat the woman hz bin mekin unreasonable demand or usually mek unrealistic request dat always wear the man out or is it dat the woman is not appreciative enough dat lead to that outburst.? |
Re: When He Says I Don't Owe You Happiness. Will You Still Remain In The Marriage? by Nobody: 9:45pm On Apr 05, 2019 |
Pointguardusa: Damn mehhhnnn! This shiit is fuccking scary |
Re: When He Says I Don't Owe You Happiness. Will You Still Remain In The Marriage? by abbatoir(m): 9:47pm On Apr 05, 2019 |
Guest007:To buttress your point...True happiness is simply inner attitude.. although exclusively designed for few individuals..Take it or leave it! Such real happiness is actually a Grace from God to man... having attained special spiritual standard..Now tell me:how many people on this evil, wicked and spiritual indolent world can achieve such standard?? To put it straight:the standard is simple but advance.. it's not far from what Jesus brought:LOVE! I say to you: Ability to love unselfishly is not far from happy Life... when you give freely and unselfish... Trust me..u attain the God's standard. Hence, your happiness lie in your hand! I rest my case! Note; Giving here is not merely materials giving oo.but rather your natural self...in consideration and respect to your fellow.. you give! 2 Likes |
Re: When He Says I Don't Owe You Happiness. Will You Still Remain In The Marriage? by Nobody: 9:49pm On Apr 05, 2019 |
[quote author=crackhaus post=77208538]Even if he was thinking it, there was really no point saying it. That just smacks of someone who talks too much [img]https://media1./images/41623c30893884b0cd1b2d696a3abd33/tenor.gif?itemid=9495358[/img] Please shut up |
Re: When He Says I Don't Owe You Happiness. Will You Still Remain In The Marriage? by tunize(m): 9:51pm On Apr 05, 2019 |
No one truly owes anybody happiness cos we're our own happiness. In aspect of relationship or marriage, we try as individuals to put smile on our spouses face. Sometimes u can be near perfect to ur spouse but they might not be happy. |
Re: When He Says I Don't Owe You Happiness. Will You Still Remain In The Marriage? by princemillla(m): 9:52pm On Apr 05, 2019 |
ImaIma1: Most mature comment so far |
Re: When He Says I Don't Owe You Happiness. Will You Still Remain In The Marriage? by Jman06(m): 9:55pm On Apr 05, 2019 |
eyinjuege:So, why get married in the first place if your partner can't at least help you ease off the worries of this life by making you happy and relaxed when you're together. Especially in cases where the couple is yet to conceive Aside bearing children, making each other happy is very important in a marriage. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: When He Says I Don't Owe You Happiness. Will You Still Remain In The Marriage? by Jaynom(m): 10:12pm On Apr 05, 2019 |
yvelchstores:Pesin wey get sense!!! |
Re: When He Says I Don't Owe You Happiness. Will You Still Remain In The Marriage? by Omudia11: 10:13pm On Apr 05, 2019 |
It is myopic to think that divorced people can't be happy. Ecne: 1 Like |
Re: When He Says I Don't Owe You Happiness. Will You Still Remain In The Marriage? by Omudia11: 10:16pm On Apr 05, 2019 |
Too many dumb advices. Listen, anyone who can tell you to your face that he doesn't owe you happiness is a monster and is not worth your time. That dude don't care about you so good luck wasting more of your life with him. A person who truly cares about you will guard their utterances towards you and will know that his happiness is your happiness. 9 Likes 1 Share |
Re: When He Says I Don't Owe You Happiness. Will You Still Remain In The Marriage? by dalass(f): 10:35pm On Apr 05, 2019 |
pandv:He's saying the obvious... Nobody owes you happiness.. You're the only one who must CHOOSE to be happy...So stay and keep that in mind in your relationship...although the person hard sha 1 Like |
Re: When He Says I Don't Owe You Happiness. Will You Still Remain In The Marriage? by alert01(m): 10:37pm On Apr 05, 2019 |
Guest007: lies.. women like you prefer their man to love bomb them |
Re: When He Says I Don't Owe You Happiness. Will You Still Remain In The Marriage? by sammychimex(m): 10:53pm On Apr 05, 2019 |
zeb04: U are wise |
Re: When He Says I Don't Owe You Happiness. Will You Still Remain In The Marriage? by sacajawea(m): 1:21am On Apr 06, 2019 |
Guest007:Yeah the Way You Sleep with Someone's Husband Too abi? Rubbish! |
Re: When He Says I Don't Owe You Happiness. Will You Still Remain In The Marriage? by Fhemmmy: 2:57am On Apr 06, 2019 |
Ablechukwu: No one can be without a reason . . . .Dont let your hatred for women cloud your reasoning, whatever you give a woman is what she will incubate and give it back to you double, give her happiness and she will give you joy but give her miserable life and she will give you 7 feet |
Re: When He Says I Don't Owe You Happiness. Will You Still Remain In The Marriage? by golddeejay(m): 5:22am On Apr 06, 2019 |
That statement means the person is not committed to you. Most people go into relationship or marriage thinking it is only for sex and bearing children. Been in a relationship means you have to sacrifice or inconvenient yourself every now and then to make him/her happy. So that's a very wrong thing for anyone in a relationship to say. With that said, no one should depend on another for his/her happiness. You create you own happiness... anything from anyone should be 'added' happiness. 2 Likes |
Re: When He Says I Don't Owe You Happiness. Will You Still Remain In The Marriage? by chibuzorAbia: 5:39am On Apr 06, 2019 |
Fhemmmy: Nobody can give you 7 feet without your consent, same way as nobody can give you happiness if not you are not happy within you. |
Re: When He Says I Don't Owe You Happiness. Will You Still Remain In The Marriage? by chibuzorAbia: 5:42am On Apr 06, 2019 |
golddeejay: And how many of these lofty marriages do you see in real life? Not easy to attain especially with all these useless entitled women we have all over the place. |
Re: When He Says I Don't Owe You Happiness. Will You Still Remain In The Marriage? by Daeylar(f): 6:22am On Apr 06, 2019 |
You didn't really give a lot of background info to your story though but I would assume that you just wanted your partner to make a little improvement to make the relationship better so in that case I agree with everyone who says your partner is wrong for making that statement. Of course we all know that no one owes us happiness and happiness comes from within and yidi yada yada (which is why it was so unnecessary to make that statement.) But you should try to bring a smile to the face /try to bring happiness to the person you claim to love once in a while. It should make you happy to see your partner happy and make you even happier to know that what you did is a reason for such happiness. The fact that no one owes anyone happiness doesn't mean you walk around with a DGAF attitude when it comes to your partner's happiness. Neither does it mean that you deliberately or unintentionally do something to hurt your partner and when your partner brings it to your attention, you silence and dismiss your partner by proclaiming loud and clear that you don't owe anyone happiness. Nah Being so cold as to utter "I don't owe you happiness" just doesn't cut it. Now like I said. I don't know the background story on why your partner told you that, but if the story is like what I described above. I would leave. 1 Like |
Re: When He Says I Don't Owe You Happiness. Will You Still Remain In The Marriage? by NoToPile: 6:29am On Apr 06, 2019 |
Omudia11: Nice points. |
Re: When He Says I Don't Owe You Happiness. Will You Still Remain In The Marriage? by mechanics(m): 10:28am On Apr 06, 2019 |
That statement has weight o, you need to find out the reason of him or her saying that, if no tangible reason, he or she has to flee. |
Re: When He Says I Don't Owe You Happiness. Will You Still Remain In The Marriage? by Nigerianization(m): 12:50pm On Apr 06, 2019 |
LordKO: Thou art a brutally honest fellow Bravo 8 Likes |
Re: When He Says I Don't Owe You Happiness. Will You Still Remain In The Marriage? by Nobody: 2:53pm On Apr 06, 2019 |
Daeylar: *Coughs* Errrm leave to where exactly? Aren't you married legally? |
Re: When He Says I Don't Owe You Happiness. Will You Still Remain In The Marriage? by ogawisdom(m): 2:56pm On Apr 06, 2019 |
pandv: Childish question He or she does not owe u happiness |
Re: When He Says I Don't Owe You Happiness. Will You Still Remain In The Marriage? by ogawisdom(m): 3:12pm On Apr 06, 2019 |
bukatyne: Happiness is a choice |
Re: When He Says I Don't Owe You Happiness. Will You Still Remain In The Marriage? by ogawisdom(m): 3:21pm On Apr 06, 2019 |
PaulAris: Happiness does not depend on anything but your will power, it's just a choice. whether u are sexually satisfied or eat onces a day you can still choose to be happy. Your understanding of happiness is shallow. |
Re: When He Says I Don't Owe You Happiness. Will You Still Remain In The Marriage? by ogawisdom(m): 3:28pm On Apr 06, 2019 |
Guest007: Too much sense will not kill you. Spot on |
Re: When He Says I Don't Owe You Happiness. Will You Still Remain In The Marriage? by Acidosis(m): 4:48pm On Apr 06, 2019 |
Your post is vague @op. |
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