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Should I Wait For Him Or Move On? - Romance - Nairaland

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Should I Wait For Him Or Move On? by Adviseasister: 8:26pm On May 17, 2019
Good evening Nairalanders,

I had to create a new moniker for this, but I believe my guy will know this is for him.

Sometime last year I received a PM from a nlder. After going through his posts, I was pleased and we started talking. One thing led to another and we started a relationship. I must confess he is everything a woman wants in a man, he brought out this part of me I never knew existed and he did it so easily. We started seeing a future, I was happy.

Fast forward to February this year, I noticed a decline in communication. I complained and he blamed it on work. It continued and I had to ask what the problem is, he maintained it was work.

By March, things got worse and I have not been able to concentrate at work. I send him voice-notes and he responds hours later. I send messages and he responds with one word. I must also add he doesn't pick my calls at night anymore, but his NL profile would be seen online, though he won't comment.

I do not know what to do as I can't bring myself to love someone else as I love him. It is a long distance relationship and I do not know what to do. Is it possible he is facing challenges there and doesn't want to share?

Should I wait for him to come around or move on? Has anyone been in this situation before, how did you manage it? I feel so heartbroken.

61 Likes 7 Shares

Re: Should I Wait For Him Or Move On? by greatnaija01: 8:29pm On May 17, 2019
you need a counselor that can sit you both down and talk sense into you BOTH else you run at the risk of LOOSING something special.

He should learn to treat you like a queen and also act like the king you deserve.

God bless.



Adviseasister:
Good evening Nairalanders,

I had to create a new moniker for this, but I believe my guy will know this is for him.

Sometime last year I received a PM from a nlder. After going through his posts, I was pleased and we started talking. One thing led to another and we started a relationship. I must confess he is everything a woman wants in a man, he brought out this part of me I never knew existed and he did it so easily. We started seeing a future, I was happy.

Fast forward to February this year, I noticed a decline in communication. I complained and he blamed it on work. It continued and I had to ask what the problem is, he maintained it was work.

By March, things got worse and I have not been able to concentrate at work. I send him voice-notes and he responds hours later. I send messages and he responds with one word. I must also add he doesn't pick my calls at night anymore, but his NL profile was still very much active.

I do not know what to do as I can't bring myself to love someone else as I love him. It is a long distance relationship and I do not know what to do. Is it possible he is facing challenges there and doesn't want to share?

Should I wait for him to come around or move on? Has anyone been in this situation before, how did you manage it? I feel so heartbroken.

15 Likes

Re: Should I Wait For Him Or Move On? by Adviseasister: 8:31pm On May 17, 2019
greatnaija01:
you need a counselor that can sit you both down and talk sense into you BOTH else you run at the risk of LOOSING something special.

He should learn to treat you like a queen and also act like the king you deserve.

God bless.




Thanks. It is a long distance relationship, I don't mean Lagos to Abuja, but different countries, continents. How do we see the counsellor? What do you think is wrong with him? I feel he has drifted.

7 Likes

Re: Should I Wait For Him Or Move On? by madridguy(m): 8:31pm On May 17, 2019
Do you read her write up at all tongue


greatnaija01:
you need a counselor that can sit you both down and talk sense into you BOTH else you run at the risk of LOOSING something special.

He should learn to treat you like a queen and also act like the king you deserve.

God bless.



138 Likes 5 Shares

Re: Should I Wait For Him Or Move On? by Nobody: 8:33pm On May 17, 2019
DM me your number for counselling and prayer wink

56 Likes 5 Shares

Re: Should I Wait For Him Or Move On? by madridguy(m): 8:34pm On May 17, 2019
Don't jump into conclusion yet. Exercise some patience with him. As for the NL status, forget it.

Adviseasister:


Thanks. It is a long distance relationship, I don't mean Lagos to Abuja, but different countries, continents. How do we see the counsellor? What do you think is wrong with him[b]? I feel he has drifted.[/b]

8 Likes

Re: Should I Wait For Him Or Move On? by Adviseasister: 8:40pm On May 17, 2019
madridguy:
Don't jump into conclusion yet. Exercise some patience with him. As for the NL status, forget it.


It is painful seeing him online.

About 3weeks ago, he was flirting with one female user, while ignoring my WhatsApp messages. This is someone that rarely comments. I don't know what to do again.

7 Likes

Re: Should I Wait For Him Or Move On? by iCauseTrouble: 8:47pm On May 17, 2019
Oh ye good people of Nairaland..... Should we tell her the truth? grin grin

517 Likes 42 Shares

Re: Should I Wait For Him Or Move On? by Nobody: 8:50pm On May 17, 2019
But how does one love a person they've never met?
You fell in 'love' just from his online post, texts, phone calls?

The word love has been so misused these days that it has become almost meaningless

One day, when you become more emotionally mature, you'll wake up and realise you're simply INFACTUATED. In 'love' with an idea, a fantasy.

No man has 'everything a woman wants'

255 Likes 19 Shares

Re: Should I Wait For Him Or Move On? by greatnaija01: 8:50pm On May 17, 2019
ONLINE COUNSELORS EXIST.

You can start there. Also there are relationship closed groups that schedule such counselings with couples online so as to help them strengthen their BOND.

The rules for a long distance relationship are quite different from the normal relationship. So kindly understand that it may take time but it is worth it.

Adviseasister:


Thanks. It is a long distance relationship, I don't mean Lagos to Abuja, but different countries, continents. How do we see the counsellor? What do you think is wrong with him? I feel he has drifted.

2 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Should I Wait For Him Or Move On? by Biglittlelois(f): 8:53pm On May 17, 2019
Adviseasister:


It is painful seeing him online.

About 3weeks ago, he was flirting with one female user, while ignoring my WhatsApp messages. This is someone that rarely comments. I don't know what to do again.


People that fell in love with someone they met online will understand the feeling lol, I get you sis, chat him up on whatsapp and ask him point blank if he is no more interested, if he reads the chat and doesnt reply immediately, forget it, he's no more interested, if he later replies with one excuse or the other or trying to twist words or situations, forget him and move on, when he sees this thread and starts to chat you up bringing everything back to normal like before, he may be genuine or not, my guess is the later, but play along to see how it goes, but start to withdraw slowly, when the communication fades away once more, which will eventually happen, do not take it to heart, you will hurt but don't let it last long, remove your mind from it and take it as one of life's lessons when it comes to love, you will be fine smiley

269 Likes 16 Shares

Re: Should I Wait For Him Or Move On? by ojun50(m): 8:54pm On May 17, 2019
I think you should give him a surprise visit nd discuss tins with him befor you take that finer decision
Re: Should I Wait For Him Or Move On? by Auladimeji(m): 9:00pm On May 17, 2019
iCauseTrouble:
Oh ye good people of Nairaland..... Should we tell her the truth? grin grin
No cause trouble

43 Likes 4 Shares

Re: Should I Wait For Him Or Move On? by Nobody: 9:04pm On May 17, 2019
Biglittlelois:



People that fell in love with someone they met online will understand the feeling lol, I get you sis, chat him up on whatsapp and ask him point blank if he is no more interested, if he reads the chat and doesnt reply immediately, forget it, he's no more interested, if he later replies with one excuse or the other or trying to twist words or situations, forget him and move on, when he sees this thread and starts to chat you up bringing everything back to normal like before, he may be genuine or not, my guess is the later, but play along to see how it goes, but start to withdraw slowly, when the communication fades away once more, which will eventually happen, do not take it to heart, you will hurt but don't let it last long, remove your mind from it and take it as one of life's lessons when it comes to love, you will be fine smiley

Latter. You’re welcome

11 Likes

Re: Should I Wait For Him Or Move On? by Nobody: 9:06pm On May 17, 2019
ojun50:
I think you should give him a surprise visit nd discuss tins with him befor you take that finer decision
Surprise visit from one continent to another!!! Dis got me lol

66 Likes 5 Shares

Re: Should I Wait For Him Or Move On? by Adaibeku(f): 9:06pm On May 17, 2019
Adviseasister:
Good evening Nairalanders,

I had to create a new moniker for this, but I believe my guy will know this is for him.

Sometime last year I received a PM from a nlder. After going through his posts, I was pleased and we started talking. One thing led to another and we started a relationship. I must confess he is everything a woman wants in a man, he brought out this part of me I never knew existed and he did it so easily. We started seeing a future, I was happy.

Fast forward to February this year, I noticed a decline in communication. I complained and he blamed it on work. It continued and I had to ask what the problem is, he maintained it was work.

By March, things got worse and I have not been able to concentrate at work. I send him voice-notes and he responds hours later. I send messages and he responds with one word. I must also add he doesn't pick my calls at night anymore, but his NL profile would be seen online, though he won't comment.

I do not know what to do as I can't bring myself to love someone else as I love him. It is a long distance relationship and I do not know what to do. Is it possible he is facing challenges there and doesn't want to share?

Should I wait for him to come around or move on? Has anyone been in this situation before, how did you manage it? I feel so heartbroken.

Lefulefu, capslocked,saffi,martinez39,Iamplato,chenzen, amaratasha,adaibeku,biglittlelois,lilmax,koyyes,dairykidd...
babe they didnt tell u males here ar scammers ,
N some females practicing witchcraft ...spits

35 Likes 1 Share

Re: Should I Wait For Him Or Move On? by Adviseasister: 9:23pm On May 17, 2019
Biglittlelois:



People that fell in love with someone they met online will understand the feeling lol, I get you sis, chat him up on whatsapp and ask him point blank if he is no more interested, if he reads the chat and doesnt reply immediately, forget it, he's no more interested, if he later replies with one excuse or the other or trying to twist words or situations, forget him and move on, when he sees this thread and starts to chat you up bringing everything back to normal like before, he may be genuine or not, my guess is the later, but play along to see how it goes, but start to withdraw slowly, when the communication fades away once more, which will eventually happen, do not take it to heart, you will hurt but don't let it last long, remove your mind from it and take it as one of life's lessons when it comes to love, you will be fine smiley


You seem to really understand my position. I will send him a message later at night, when I am sure he is home and rested.

I have tried to withdraw, but whenever I do, he will start up a little conversation and my heart would start beating faster. I guess I will have to move on if our conversation tonight doesn't go well.

21 Likes

Re: Should I Wait For Him Or Move On? by Adviseasister: 9:24pm On May 17, 2019
Adaibeku:
babe they didnt tell u males here ar scammers ,
N some females practicing witchcraft ...spits

He isn't a scammer, Ada.

22 Likes 1 Share

Re: Should I Wait For Him Or Move On? by collinsfhk(m): 9:24pm On May 17, 2019
madridguy:
Do you read her write up at all tongue



cheesy cheesy cheesy

1 Like 2 Shares

Re: Should I Wait For Him Or Move On? by ojun50(m): 9:31pm On May 17, 2019
sherylbakky:
Surprise visit from one continent to another!!! Dis got me lol
she need help na

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Should I Wait For Him Or Move On? by Nobody: 9:58pm On May 17, 2019
Adviseasister:
Good evening Nairalanders,

I had to create a new moniker for this, but I believe my guy will know this is for him.

Sometime last year I received a PM from a nlder. After going through his posts, I was pleased and we started talking. One thing led to another and we started a relationship. I must confess he is everything a woman wants in a man, he brought out this part of me I never knew existed and he did it so easily. We started seeing a future, I was happy.

Fast forward to February this year, I noticed a decline in communication. I complained and he blamed it on work. It continued and I had to ask what the problem is, he maintained it was work.

By March, things got worse and I have not been able to concentrate at work. I send him voice-notes and he responds hours later. I send messages and he responds with one word. I must also add he doesn't pick my calls at night anymore, but his NL profile would be seen online, though he won't comment.

I do not know what to do as I can't bring myself to love someone else as I love him. It is a long distance relationship and I do not know what to do. Is it possible he is facing challenges there and doesn't want to share?

Should I wait for him to come around or move on? Has anyone been in this situation before, how did you manage it? I feel so heartbroken.

Lefulefu, capslocked,saffi,martinez39,Iamplato,chenzen, amaratasha,adaibeku,biglittlelois,lilmax,koyyes,dairykidd...


l want to believe that his silent treatment and conservative behaviours towards you clearly assume to show sudden signs of disinterest, perhaps he s going through some personal issues such as midlife crisis, mood swing or he is overwhelmed in comatose and maybe "work" like he says. Try and figure out what it might be and help him through it if he allows it, sometimes he just doesn't want to let u into all of his personal baggage of problems and chooses to fix it all on his own without involving you, yet it seems to be affecting your relationship with him.

There is a possibility he has lost interest in the relationship and wants out but does not know how to put it across to u, but something just keeps signaling that he s no longer the same guy he was during the mushy season.

My advice is that u remain reserved and give him some time & space while u work on ur emotions, if he snaps out of it he ll come back to u, else turn unto the next page of ur life.

43 Likes 1 Share

Re: Should I Wait For Him Or Move On? by Nobody: 10:03pm On May 17, 2019
I understand this feeling sha, angry
It sucks!angry

6 Likes

Re: Should I Wait For Him Or Move On? by CAPSLOCKED: 10:20pm On May 17, 2019
Adviseasister:
Good evening Nairalanders,

I had to create a new moniker for this, but....

I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU PEOPLE ALWAYS SAY THIS.
DO YOU DO THIS BECAUSE YOU BELIEVE IT'LL MAKE THE STORY MORE INTERESTING? OR IS THERE A SPECIAL AWARD PEOPLE RECEIVE WHEN THEY TRY TO STATE THEIR CASE BUT FIRST HAVE TO NOTIFY US THAT "THIS IS A NEW ACCOUNT TO HIDE MY IDENTITY"?



I'VE ALWAYS MAINTAINED THAT NAIRALAND BOASTS OF ABOUT TWO MILLION MEMBERS.

BUT IN THE REAL SENSE, THERE ARE JUST 43 OF US GENUINE MEMBERS. THE REST ARE ALTERNATES AFTER ALTERNATES. cheesy



Adviseasister:
Should I wait for him to come around or move on? Has anyone been in this situation before, how did you manage it? I feel so heartbroken.

capslocked,saffi,martinez39,Iamplato,chenzen, amaratasha,adaibeku,biglittlelois,lilmax,koyyes,dairykidd...

I'M THE PATRON OF FAILED RELATIONSHIPS. ANY ADVICE FROM ME WILL ONLY CAUSE MORE DAMAGES AND LEAD YOU TO FAILURE. I'M SORRY. smiley

67 Likes 6 Shares

Re: Should I Wait For Him Or Move On? by Altern8(m): 10:31pm On May 17, 2019
Long distance love is problematic at best.

Sorry sis. You may have to travel to see if your could salvage the situation.

Best of luck.
Re: Should I Wait For Him Or Move On? by Nobody: 10:32pm On May 17, 2019
CAPSLOCKED:


I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU PEOPLE ALWAYS SAY THIS.
DO YOU DO THIS BECAUSE YOU BELIEVE IT'LL MAKE THE STORY MORE INTERESTING? OR IS THERE A SPECIAL AWARD PEOPLE RECEIVE WHEN THEY TRY TO STATE THEIR CASE BUT FIRST HAVE TO NOTIFY US THAT "THIS IS A NEW ACCOUNT TO HIDE MY IDENTITY"?



I'VE ALWAYS MAINTAINED THAT NAIRALAND BOASTS OF ABOUT TWO MILLION MEMBERS.

BUT IN THE REAL SENSE, THERE ARE JUST 43 OF US GENUINE MEMBERS. THE REST ARE ALTERNATES AFTER ALTERNATES. cheesy





I'M THE PATRON OF FAILED RELATIONSHIPS. ANY ADVICE FROM ME WILL ONLY CAUSE MORE DAMAGES AND LEAD YOU TO FAILURE. I'M SORRY. smiley

grin

35 Likes 1 Share

Re: Should I Wait For Him Or Move On? by schumastic(m): 10:36pm On May 17, 2019
This are one of the reasons I hate long distance relationship, the stories are always the same. At first,

1. Everything will be sweet and rosy.
2. Both parties will start seeing a future together.
3. One out of the party will decide to cut of communication or reduce communication.
4. Finally it will dwell on the other that the relationship ain't working anymore and they should call it quit.

@op you are in stage three, just hold on a bit because you will soon get to stage four is just a matter of time.


Signed.


Vice President,

Bachelors Club,

Ikeja, Lagos Branch.

94 Likes 4 Shares

Re: Should I Wait For Him Or Move On? by Nobody: 10:37pm On May 17, 2019
Let him breathe....

One thing you must understand about guys is they are easily bored and love varieties. The more they get to know about you, the less interested they get. You as a lady must know how to remain intriguing, mysterious, attractive and enticing else you will lose him.

Now the question is who is worth the stress? A patient man who values you enough to stick around a little more hoping you will bring the fire back. Is your man worth it? I doubt that! The fact that he flirts with another woman knowing well that you will see his acts shows he has lost interest in you and no respect either. In as much as men love their freedom, they will never leave the women they love hanging.

My advice: Don't push it, focus on something else. If he is yours he will be back.

91 Likes 1 Share

Re: Should I Wait For Him Or Move On? by iTearHerToto: 11:37pm On May 17, 2019
MariaLavina:
Let him breathe....

One thing you must understand about guys is they are easily bored and love varieties. The more they get to know about you, the less interested they get. You as a lady must know how to remain intriguing, mysterious, attractive and enticing else you will lose him.

Now the question is who is worth the stress? A patient man who values you enough to stick around a little more hoping you will bring the fire back. Is your man worth it? I doubt that! The fact that he flirts with another woman knowing well that you will see his acts shows he has lost interest in you and no respect either. In as much as men love their freedom, they will never leave the women they love hanging.

My advice: Don't push it, focus on something else. If he is yours he will be back.
chenzen:



l want to believe that his silent treatment and conservative behaviours towards you clearly assume to show sudden signs of disinterest, perhaps he s going through some personal issues such as midlife crisis, mood swing or he is overwhelmed in comatose and maybe "work" like he says. Try and figure out what it might be and help him through it if he allows it, sometimes he just doesn't want to let u into all of his personal baggage of problems and chooses to fix it all on his own without involving you, yet it seems to be affecting your relationship with him.

There is a possibility he has lost interest in the relationship and wants out but does not know how to put it across to u, but something just keeps signaling that he s no longer the same guy he was during the mushy season.

My advice is that u remain reserved and give him some time & space while u work on ur emotions, if he snaps out of it he ll come back to u, else turn unto the next page of ur life.

Biglittlelois:



People that fell in love with someone they met online will understand the feeling lol, I get you sis, chat him up on whatsapp and ask him point blank if he is no more interested, if he reads the chat and doesnt reply immediately, forget it, he's no more interested, if he later replies with one excuse or the other or trying to twist words or situations, forget him and move on, when he sees this thread and starts to chat you up bringing everything back to normal like before, he may be genuine or not, my guess is the later, but play along to see how it goes, but start to withdraw slowly, when the communication fades away once more, which will eventually happen, do not take it to heart, you will hurt but don't let it last long, remove your mind from it and take it as one of life's lessons when it comes to love, you will be fine smiley

Nairaland Counselors

54 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Should I Wait For Him Or Move On? by Obudupikin: 11:52pm On May 17, 2019
iCauseTrouble:
Oh ye good people of Nairaland..... Should we tell her the truth? grin grin

Nah... Not yet. cool

14 Likes 1 Share

Re: Should I Wait For Him Or Move On? by press005: 11:59pm On May 17, 2019
As a human, you really shouldn't expect so much from your fellow human.

You shouldn't allow the term ""Love" to becloud your sense of reasoning.

Most at times, what we regard to as love or relationship is totally far from it. Lemme even ask, DO YOU REALLY THINK HUMANS PRACTICE LOVE AS WIDELY BELIEVED ?

OP, learn to value your worth.You really don't need to force things. If you call or try to make things work and it's not working, then it's very simple.

Don't even think twice, just move on.

14 Likes

Re: Should I Wait For Him Or Move On? by Diamond23(f): 12:04am On May 18, 2019
Luv for Nairaland .... no just give urself hearth attack. Let wot happen here ends here..... u even saw him flirting with oda females here while he ignored ur chat.Na partime lover probably looking for another replacement grin

12 Likes

Re: Should I Wait For Him Or Move On? by Nobody: 12:13am On May 18, 2019
He's not interested, he's in a relationship with someone else, or he's a player. My guess is all of the above. Move on.

10 Likes 2 Shares

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