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Plans changed. by nahzyla: 12:42pm On Jun 11, 2019 |
Update: I didn't get the job I was talking of in this thread, the person that was supposed to help me get it lost his life to kidney disease. Allah knows best. 1 Like |
Re: Plans changed. by taiwiki(m): 12:46pm On Jun 11, 2019 |
If I were your husband, I'd suggest you go but I'm not, so lemme wait for the elders ![]() 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Plans changed. by Nobody: 1:00pm On Jun 11, 2019 |
Yes, leave him n go. The job will benefit the family as a whole not just u, he can always come around. 7 Likes |
Re: Plans changed. by dingbang(m): 1:00pm On Jun 11, 2019 |
If I were your husband, i'd suggest you go get the new job then we can be visiting each other. 1 Like |
Re: Plans changed. by bukatyne(f): 1:01pm On Jun 11, 2019 |
nahzyla: What is your husband's thought about it? |
Re: Plans changed. by ibkayee(f): 1:08pm On Jun 11, 2019 |
Well paying, permanent position with a salary potentially 4x what your husband is getting for work that isn’t even stable. Leaving doesn’t sound like a bad idea, I would anyway Your husband isn’t fully against or for it as of now so What are your husband’s reservations about it? It sucks that you’re worried about things like cheating over a decision that’s supposed to be helping your family 5 Likes |
Re: Plans changed. by nahzyla: 1:10pm On Jun 11, 2019 |
bukatyne: He is undecided. Earlier on he said he doesn't want me to go but some time ago he started talking about it like he is completely fine with it. His opinion is yoyoing. He hasn't concluded. |
Re: Plans changed. by nahzyla: 1:13pm On Jun 11, 2019 |
ibkayee: Personally I really really want to go. I have struggled in life before and I don't want my children to suffer so I very much would like to go but my hubby is the type that always speaks against spouses staying far apart from each other. He never liked the idea of married couples staying apart so when I brought my job offer up he knew it would be better for our family in the long run but he was not too happy about it. He hasn't given a definite answer whether he wants me to go or not. |
Re: Plans changed. by SageMK: 1:15pm On Jun 11, 2019 |
The pros outweighs the cons. You'll all be better off financially. It'll be a mistake to turn down this offer especially since your husband is not entirely against this. Accept the job. The issue of cheating only comes into play when a man is not disciplined. You know you hubby better than us. Does he demand sex often? How close or free is he to other women? Is he the type to keep secrets? Etc.. If you can't trust your husband, then trust your instincts. 10 Likes |
Re: Plans changed. by donbachi(m): 1:16pm On Jun 11, 2019 |
nahzyla:ur own husband....yoyoing..no wahala..when i see am 2day 4 mama amaka place i will tell him. 1 Like |
Re: Plans changed. by Nobody: 1:30pm On Jun 11, 2019 |
You'll be doing the family a huge one by taking the Job. After all if it were the man, no one would say anything. Forget what people gotta say and think about your kids. 1 Like |
Re: Plans changed. by lilmax(m): 1:34pm On Jun 11, 2019 |
nahzyla: guys hustle so your wife won't make post like this on nairaland now its "my" "I" instead of our 15 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Plans changed. by ibkayee(f): 1:39pm On Jun 11, 2019 |
nahzyla:He knows it’s beneficial in the long run, sometimes we have to suck up not doing ‘what we want’ to do what’s best for the family If you’re concerned about cheating, the onus is on your husband to decide if he lacks that much discipline over a decision that will also be helping him If your husband were in your shoes I doubt there would be as much fuss over it 5 Likes |
Re: Plans changed. by Thegamingorca(m): 1:45pm On Jun 11, 2019 |
ibkayee: Yeah it's just selfishness 2 Likes |
Re: Plans changed. by Biglittlelois(f): 1:46pm On Jun 11, 2019 |
lilmax: Mister man, what is wrong with what she said, she said her own mind, do you know her husband's mind and what he can sacrifice above his children's well being ![]() 15 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Plans changed. by ibkayee(f): 1:47pm On Jun 11, 2019 |
Thegamingorca:I don’t know her husband personally so I can’t say for sure. But in a lot of cases similar to this it is selfishness |
Re: Plans changed. by ibkayee(f): 1:48pm On Jun 11, 2019 |
Biglittlelois:That one just wants to be offended for the sake of it 3 Likes |
Re: Plans changed. by Nikkol: 1:48pm On Jun 11, 2019 |
Take up your new job ma'am it has security and will help you secure your own future and that of your kids, remember there are worst things than being cheated on, if he marries another then fine. At least you can give your kids good life besides he isn't going to do that. 2 Likes |
Re: Plans changed. by tabithababy(f): 2:02pm On Jun 11, 2019 |
Please go and take that job fast biko ![]() Men that will cheat, will surely cheat Save enough money.for your kids and don't give him your money , don't buy properties in his name 2 Likes |
Re: Plans changed. by dingbang(m): 2:13pm On Jun 11, 2019 |
lilmax:you are right, women will never change. Her husband is now anything. 3 Likes |
Re: Plans changed. by Nobody: 2:15pm On Jun 11, 2019 |
tabithababy: may the evil you wish the man befall on you and all the men in your family. so unfortunate that most of you do not have good plans for your husbands and wives. as for the main owner of the thread, i pray your husband sees reason to support you to take the job since he is not in better position to provide enough for you and kids. 9 Likes |
Re: Plans changed. by Tushnigerian(f): 2:41pm On Jun 11, 2019 |
Whether you are under your Hubby's nose or thousand miles away, a man that will cheat or keep a mistress will do so! Three hours isn’t so far so he can always come weekends! Go for the job and help him apply in your new state Because his job is nothing to write home about! Your worries should be fortifying the Union and relationship, extra marital affair is discipline so forget the sidechic excuse. It’s now left for your husband, because even if you stay put, he wants to cheat. He will cheat on the same roof! 5 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Plans changed. by baby124: 3:16pm On Jun 11, 2019 |
As a couple, you have to take decisions and do things that put you in the best financial situation. Let him start looking for work in the place you are moving to and please have a conversation with him. Ensure you get his commitment to this plan and you guys should plan to be together. If you can get a 200k job in a certain location, then the prospects of work for him in that location may be better than where you both live right now. All of you can relocate together. You work and he finds something new to do. You can also use your contacts after a few months of working to help him get a job or business. 6 Likes |
Re: Plans changed. by Acidosis(m): 3:17pm On Jun 11, 2019 |
Lol, this marriage thing na scam aswear. 200k and it's all about me and my kids now ![]() Kai! 7 Likes |
Re: Plans changed. by Acidosis(m): 3:25pm On Jun 11, 2019 |
On a serious note, I think you should take the job. Encourage your husband to visit at least twice in a month until he secures a better job in your new state of residence. I have serious issues with the excess emphasis on your kids. Your children shouldn't be the only or main reason you're working. Desire a good life for yourself (1st), and then your family (husband, kids). 14 Likes |
Re: Plans changed. by Richy4(m): 3:27pm On Jun 11, 2019 |
Let us say that in job interview, u were asked this question.. As a team member how would you convince your fellow workers to do what was new (this idea will be beneficial to the company if it being adopted )... How will u present your case? I WILL SUGGEST THAT YOU USE THE SAME PROCESS TO DEAL WITH YOUR PRESENT CASE SCENARIO.. To be honest a lot of people here doesn't give a hoot if your marriage fail because of this... There's gonna be a lot of outrageous idea given to you... Some that they themselves will not do... Any wrong move could cost you your marriage But remember one thing... You chose your husband before the kids started rolling out...Work as a team. I have seen your write up... In my opinion it sound like someone asking for validation for a divorce.. All I saw was my kids..my kids.. my kids.. and is not encouraging one bit.. Don't allow 200k to cost you a good relationship you may have invested for years... If u are a salaried person, There's no job security anywhere in the world.. Sit him down and Present your case to your husband and work amicably.. 10 Likes |
Re: Plans changed. by QueenSekxy(f): 3:50pm On Jun 11, 2019 |
Acidosis:I don't understand you guys problem with women. You guys will always look for a fault where there's none. It's her kids and Yes? What about that? She is even a good woman by trying to train her kids and give her kids the best things of life what there father couldn't offer. Many people wouldn't even consider kids, only themselves. Leave the woman alone. 13 Likes |
Re: Plans changed. by Nobody: 4:02pm On Jun 11, 2019 |
nahzyla:Your marriage will definitely crash one day. It's mow "my kids", "my children". No longer "our". Your husband is now anything. Like the poster above said. Guys hustle so your wife won't create this kind of thread 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Plans changed. by Acidosis(m): 4:02pm On Jun 11, 2019 |
QueenSekxy: So the new job is going to give her and her kids the best things of life? What the father couldn't offer? The father ever begged you for feeding money? The father begged you to train up his kids? It doesn't bother you that the man would be alone, lonely and unable to bond with his seed? You lots are extremely lousy and selfish! Just a little pay rise, some of you would tear your marriage certificate. 11 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Plans changed. by Nobody: 4:10pm On Jun 11, 2019 |
Acidosis: i wonder why you are wasting your time on that most irritating girl on this forum. 3 Likes |
Re: Plans changed. by bukatyne(f): 4:24pm On Jun 11, 2019 |
nahzyla: Discuss with him exploring all the pros, cons and both be open minded. It is your family and you both should do what you will to make you happy. And your title is misleading: Should I leave my husband seems you want a divorce or seperation. |
Re: Plans changed. by ibkayee(f): 4:28pm On Jun 11, 2019 |
Fyi0:You people are really reaching. Her use of ‘I’ wasn’t to exclude him from the family equation or leave him out, if that were the case she wouldn’t be asking for her husband’s input in the first place, she would’ve just taken the job. 3 Likes |
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