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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Plans changed. (11972 Views)
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Re: Plans changed. by Richy4(m): 11:04pm On Jun 11, 2019 |
mrblessed: My brother u saw those personal pronouns too?... Many happy couples that I know uses "WE" & "OUR" in their conversation as if it was running out of fashion... But this particular one was shockingly using "I" and "My" one just wondered the kind of relationship they have going on @ home.. ... I am not against her moving but make it a team work... I used to hear that two heads were better than one... Even if it was to bad heads, at least they will join together to make it worse... If marriage were to be I and MY, what is the use.. is it not better to remain single and make your decision by yourself, 1 Like |
Re: Plans changed. by mrblessed(m): 7:24am On Jun 12, 2019 |
Richy4:My brother, the title of this post -- "Should I leave him?" -- clearly betrays the lack of respect this young lady has for her husband, solely because he is currently incapable of providing the type of material comfort she requires. When I saw first the post, I thought it was the usual, run-of-the-mill boyfriend-girlfriend relationship challenges that litter the entire landscape of nairaland. Imagining a future without the husband, and with no intention of being cynical, casts a huge doubt of paternity on those children. 2 Likes |
Re: Plans changed. by ibkayee(f): 9:02am On Jun 12, 2019 |
mrblessed:Lol oh boy 1 Like |
Re: Plans changed. by Nobody: 9:08am On Jun 12, 2019 |
tabithababy:bitter bitter woman |
Re: Plans changed. by Nobody: 9:08am On Jun 12, 2019 |
baby124:smart! |
Re: Plans changed. by Nobody: 9:18am On Jun 12, 2019 |
Acidosis:lol.so you didn't know any woman with 200k salary and 2m naira savings turns to a feminist automatically ![]() ![]() Well,I'll say they keep meeting the wrong men. What I will do is; Make her very comfortable.get her a car,a nice bungalow with penthouse for us,some liabilities like security man and a maid. As soon as she starts being a feminist,I will just leave you and all the bills and go stay with a friend or perhaps rent a self con. When bills start slamming her left,right,center.her savings starts tumbling almost immediately and she knows she can't keep up,no be person go tell her say husband and his needs dey important. Feminist my ass 1 Like |
Re: Plans changed. by Nobody: 9:24am On Jun 12, 2019 |
ibkayee: You never see anything. Reason I avoid these broke elements or those ones whose lives/egos revolve around money. Some are already seeing prounouns, talking DNA, that is just how they are wired. Taking decisions with their penîs and egos. My friend said, it is no more TDH (Tall, dark and handsome). It is now, tall, dark and handsome with SENSE. What next? E get as the woman go waka, e go say she no get respect again. Marry a broke or ego-filled Naija man at the risk of your sanity. Godforbid!! 2 Likes |
Re: Plans changed. by Acidosis(m): 9:43am On Jun 12, 2019 |
nwanneni: ![]() ![]() Problem is people don't know how to read between the lines. It doesn't take much effort to understand a person's nature. To be sure I wasn't making a false judgment, I had to take some time to read a page in her diary. As far as I'm concerned, OP has no atom of respect for her man. Just yesterday, one called her husband a lunatic. Unless we learn to read between the lines, those who come here to seek help would end up destroying their homes, thanks to myopic comments especially from those who want to uphold their gender-centric calling at the detriment of family value and peace. 3 Likes |
Re: Plans changed. by ibkayee(f): 9:46am On Jun 12, 2019 |
AntiBrutus:Lol triggered people hallucinating |
Re: Plans changed. by Nobody: 9:48am On Jun 12, 2019 |
Re: Plans changed. by ibkayee(f): 9:56am On Jun 12, 2019 |
AntiBrutus:“pErSoNaL pROnOuNs” 1 Like
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Re: Plans changed. by Nobody: 9:58am On Jun 12, 2019 |
ibkayee: Lmao. Naija men ehn. You chop their money... gold digger. You say you no wan chop, make you go hustle your own...feminist! Which kind wahala be this? 6 Likes 1 Share
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Re: Plans changed. by Thegamingorca(m): 9:58am On Jun 12, 2019 |
AntiBrutus: ![]() |
Re: Plans changed. by Thegamingorca(m): 9:59am On Jun 12, 2019 |
AntiBrutus:
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Re: Plans changed. by Nobody: 10:02am On Jun 12, 2019 |
Thegamingorca: Abeg, which one una want? |
Re: Plans changed. by ibkayee(f): 10:05am On Jun 12, 2019 |
AntiBrutus:Lmao ![]() |
Re: Plans changed. by Nobody: 10:07am On Jun 12, 2019 |
nwanneni: I haven't read the thread, but I consign this. A lot of naija women want emancipation without responsibility . You pay the bills, I keep my money. This is a mean but effective way of enforcing equity. Sort of like a kid earning a salary that goes to himself alone and thinking he has some sort of say in how things are run in the house. The most bizarre thing happened in the office a day ago. Slightly off topic.We were all asked to contribute 3k for an event, and the women started protesting left and right.it was weird. A lot of the men were simply of the opinion, this is 3k, what gives? But the women, most of whom have husbands pulling down big dough and some of whom have said they DO NOT KNOW what to do with a recent big payout, were raising the roof. Why should I pay, we already pay so and so. |
Re: Plans changed. by Nobody: 10:17am On Jun 12, 2019 |
ornicus: Why do men marry such women? I think some of you think it will change or be easy in the long run, then when expenses start increasing, una go dey cry. Starting from relationships, how many Naija men enforce that sense of responsibility in their women? Call me a feminist or whatever, right from my relationship, I start making my definition of PARTNERSHIP clear. For starters, don't buy this and that for me, allow me continue managing the one I have. Don't go wiring money into my acct, I prefer to go with the lifestyle I can maintain. Lets not derail each others dream, we can support, encourage and build. I thought every Naija guy will like this, after all, they want non-gold diggers. But I got a shocker. They were all complaining how I do not collect. As for your office scenario, I think it is an individual thing. In my office, we do those things by core/non-core. My boss who has been in the system 12yrs before me would still refuse to pay. I am the most generous core staff in my office. None of superiors all MALE, come close. They can easily say it is because of family expenses, but I think it is their person. 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Plans changed. by Nobody: 10:24am On Jun 12, 2019 |
AntiBrutus: That one is the weird one for me too . why would I be giving money, not gifts to a grown woman? Comes off as a payment for services thing. Maybe they are hedging. So that if it doesn't work out, the naija babe gragra of you used me for x years (free toto noise) will be countered by 'and you collected for it ' |
Re: Plans changed. by Nobody: 10:27am On Jun 12, 2019 |
ornicus:exactly! This is where I also have a VERY BIG PROBLEM. It's not fair at all. Her money remains hers,yet she goes about preaching equality in my house?I won't accept it. I don't have a problem with feminism but make sure you are ready to go all the way! Not that after all the equality BS I still go about taking care of you and your needs. As I sense That,the thing I will do is start acquiring as much liabilities as possible to skyrocket the bills around the house off the roof and I will suddenly take an abrupt holiday ![]() ![]() Go somewhere and watch her suffocate on bills and probably start developing wrinkles.she no go fit make up again sef ffs ![]() ![]() ![]() When you come back Bro,you go see order like never before ![]() ![]() CAPITALIST ![]() 2 Likes |
Re: Plans changed. by Thegamingorca(m): 10:27am On Jun 12, 2019 |
AntiBrutus: I sha want you to be whichever one you deem fit to be at whatsoever time you choose to be it. Also if you prefer to be neither you are welcomed. ![]() |
Re: Plans changed. by Nobody: 10:33am On Jun 12, 2019 |
ornicus: Yes, I think that is one of it. If lots of them are dating you and you are not collecting, they are actually very uncomfortable. They think your mouth will be very sharp and they have no hold on you. I take gifts o, but it will be something I can afford. No come collect my bb, give me iPhone X. Or change my Camry 2.2 to an AMG. That one is the gift of the devil, the type I flee from. This is the type they like to give; the one people will see and know there is a MAN in your life. 4 Likes |
Re: Plans changed. by Acidosis(m): 10:48am On Jun 12, 2019 |
AntiBrutus: Men place respect and honour over financial or monetary contributions. Fine if they get both, but those are hard-to-find traits among slay queens and feminists. 2 Likes |
Re: Plans changed. by nahzyla: 10:49am On Jun 12, 2019 |
bukatyne:Yes, the misleading title was deliberate. I wanted to draw attention to the thread and get responses. Too bad some people are already drawing ridiculous conclusions from the title. 2 Likes |
Re: Plans changed. by nahzyla: 10:56am On Jun 12, 2019 |
I honestly don't understand why many men in this thread are so angry Is it because of the amount I said I would be receiving? You all don't think it's right for women to earn more than men? Oris it because I wrote 'my children' instead of our children? Does it even matter? My husband calls our baby 'my son', ' my boy', 'my capon' etc when we are at home or with other people and I don't even see the big deal, he isn't wrong to say that so why is my saying 'my children' now a sign of disrespect? Or are they angry because I said I want to use the money to better my kids lives instead of saying I want to spend on my husband? Personally I too would prefer him to spend his money on the children before considering me because they are the most important people in our lives right now. I honestly don't understand the outrage and the wrong conclusion about my disrespecting my husband. If I didn't have respect for him I would not even seek second opinion from people for a job that pays so much. I would just leave. 6 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Plans changed. by Nobody: 10:58am On Jun 12, 2019 |
Acidosis:thank You! You are always on point. Who really cares about a woman's contributions? No one(real man) really does.as a matter of fact,they hardly accept it. Don't pay house bills,fees and allow us spoil you how we can and in return,just love us as much as we love you and we live our lives and be happy. But No,today's woman won't accept That,after all they now make money too. You've gotta do this,you've gotta do That.you've gotta be this,you've gotta be that..... It's a marriage,not an avenue for us to compare who's better. This is where all of them(feminists) fail. WE DON'T WANT YOUR MONEY!!!!!!KEEP IT. We just will support you to be the best you can be,and if you could,do same to us in our down times. We've got each other's backs and are our biggest fans. That's all. BATTLE FOR SUPREMACY women can't allow this na,it's in their DNA. *Spits ![]() My own sister does it too and it pisses me the fùck off!!! Whenever I go visit them and see some things going on and how authoritative she is in that house,I feel like using a cooking spoon to maim that her husband. Funny enough,he is the one taking care of his family overly perfect and she keeps her own damn money ![]() I hate that guy,reason I don't visit them anymore! Spits! 1 Like |
Re: Plans changed. by nahzyla: 10:58am On Jun 12, 2019 |
Thanks to all the people that contributed helpful advice, especially the females and the few understanding males. I will have a discussion with him to convince him of the importance of my going. I think that is best for both of us presently. To the guy that said my marriage will crash, God forbid. My marriage will never crash in the name of God. Whatever you wish on my marriage will return to you tenfold. 5 Likes |
Re: Plans changed. by Nobody: 11:03am On Jun 12, 2019 |
Acidosis: Men are confused. They don't even know what they want. Look around you, so many jobless women that are submissive. Pick one and marry. 4 Likes |
Re: Plans changed. by Nobody: 11:05am On Jun 12, 2019 |
nahzyla:madam,no one here said you earn too much.that will be a bogus claim. But i will advise you to please take the job,money is very very important and please by all means,your husband has got to move in with you wherever you are going. Know that he will be jobless for a while before he finds his footing. But please tell us the truth,will you still value him in that state in your new domicile? Because most times,when this happens,most women take advantage and start abusing the man left and right. If you won't do That,please take him along and if possible,try help him out get a job and y'all live happy afterwards. Them no dey take superiority go anywhere in life,especially in unions. This is just my own opinion 1 Like |
Re: Plans changed. by ibkayee(f): 11:09am On Jun 12, 2019 |
nahzyla:Don’t mind them ![]() I doubt married people go around saying ‘our’ when referring to their kids to people unless their spouse is literally next to them during that point in time or in the same vicinity for example. The way you worded it was not that deep, lmao what a reach Best of luck with whatever decision you choose 1 Like |
Re: Plans changed. by Acidosis(m): 11:13am On Jun 12, 2019 |
nwanneni: Absolutely! It is a marriage (team work), not an avenue to compare who's better (competition). These are strong words on the marble. Imagine what this one posted QueenSekxy: He should hustle bla bla and concentrate on her kids. So the man's only crime now is that the wife got a better job. I bet her choice of words will change if by tomorrow, the man's earnings rise by 500%. "Her" kids will change to "Our" kids. Just imagine how she hurriedly concluded that the man does not want to hustle. So much for this marriage thing. If her salary rises to 1m after a year, the man should kill himself because he must earn more, as per competition? And if he doesn't, he risks losing his "manhood"? ![]() 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Plans changed. by Nobody: 11:13am On Jun 12, 2019 |
Acidosis: That depends on the man.the die hard chauvinists will take the contributions and still expect the wife to be a doormat. Friend I discussed previously - he and his wife built their house together, then the guy put it in his own name. 1 Like |
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