bukatyne:


Thanks for the accolades.

All the best in your upcoming nuptials.

Thanks.

bukatyne:


Well,

What works for the women you have met necessarily doesn't apply to all women.

Money is such a transient value to build your self esteem on and that's why a lot of men are only as good as their money.

I wanted a husband who was thoughtful, kind, loves me, has a great deal of self-esteem and provide me with things that I can't for myself.

In all five pages of this thread, all you seem able to provide is money, money, money.

If money was all there is, the Dangotes of this world would not be divorced.

Did you deliberately leave that for last to imply it was the last thing you looked out for?

crackhaus:

Did you deliberately leave that for last to imply it was the last thing you looked out for?

Stop!I'm gonna pee

ibkayee:

Ok so it’s just your own personal version of love that you’ve convinced yourself of.

The want to submit may be influenced by love for SOME women however they are NOT mutually exclusive.

Submission is not necessarily the definition of love, it’s just something that may come with it for some people. Plenty of women who don’t want to be submissive and aren’t but it doesn’t take away from the love they have for their partner

Then they have never experienced true love in its raw and purest form.

AntiBrutus:


I do not feel irritated hearing it, I just do not understand it when coming from most Nigerian men. My man has never mentioned it. I respect him as the first among EQUALS and we are very good. That is all that matters.

Every mallam with im own kettle.

Truth is that most women with your kind of online persona and that of ... are the most submissive women out there in the real world. Lol. Actually, no sane man will literally and physically tell his woman to be submissive to him - he'll expect it and observe it once he offers love. Just as no sane woman will tell her man to love her. These are things that take place unpronounced when two people who share same ethical leanings, or are interested in forming a mutual one, come together. They breed understanding, and understanding is the bond that always hold any healthy and harmonious relationship together.

LordKO:



Truth is that most women with your kind of online persona and that of ... are the most submissive women out there in the real world. Lol. Actually, no sane man will literally and physically tell his woman to be submissive to him - he'll expect it and observed it once he offers love. Just as no sane woman will tell her man to love her. These are things that take place unpronounced when two people who share same ethical leanings or are interested in forming a mutual one come together. They breed understanding, and understanding is the bond that always hold any healthy and harmonious relationship together.

I guess most Nigerian men are not sane.

I wonder which online persona you all are always on about. I am same vocal person offline. He knows it, heck...he is a Nlder and knows my username.

AntiBrutus:


I guess most Nigerian men are not sane.

I wonder which online persona you all are always on about. I am same vocal person offline. He knows it, heck...he is a Nlder and knows my username.

Outspoken, yes. Opinionated, no. .. except when you intentionally wish to be mischievous.

AntiBrutus:


I do not feel irritated hearing it, I just do not understand it when coming from most Nigerian men. My man has never mentioned it. I respect him as the first among EQUALS and we are very good. That is all that matters.

Every mallam with im own kettle.

This is funny.

So you actually think that anyone who talks about submission/submissiveness in marriage online actually mentions the word to their spouses or partners?

Submission is a state of mind, not a physical action.

LordKO:


Outspoken, yes. Opinionated, no. .. except when you intentionally wish to be mischievous.

Is that why you want to force submission on us even when we don't want?

crackhaus:

This is funny.

So you actually think that anyone who talks about submission/submissiveness in marriage online actually mentions the word to their spouses or partners?

Submission is a state of mind, not a physical action.

My state of mind is respect.
Anything else?

AntiBrutus:


Is that why you want to force submission on us even when we don't want?

Lol. Believe you me, there's nothing good about an opinionated wo/man. In fact, if not for one thing, I would have named the real opinionated wo/men on this forum - a defensive player shouldn't be mistaken for an offensive one. Mixing outspokenness with opinionatedness is like mistaken tactlessness for truthfulness.

Meanwhile, we aren't forcing submission on anyone. Every sane woman owes it to her man.

LordKO:


Lol. Believe you me, there's nothing good about an opinionated wo/man. In fact, if not for one thing, I would have named the real opinionated wo/men on this forum - a defensive player shouldn't be mistaken for an offensive one. Mixing outspokenness with opinionatedness is like mistaken tactlessness for truthfulness.

Meanwhile, we aren't forcing submission on anyone. Every sane woman owes it to her man.

I am not sane. He loves me like that.

crackhaus:

Did you deliberately leave that for last to imply it was the last thing you looked out for?

Actually, the provision I wanted was already embedded in those qualities.

I have stated what I meant by provide in a subsequent post.

AntiBrutus:


I am not sane. He loves me like that.

Servility isn't your portion, submissiveness is, I wish you the best.

LordKO:

The core attributes of submissiveness are meekness, selflessness and conscientiousness.

Meekness, selflessness and conscientiousness are not gendered attributes, meaning a man should likewise possess and uphold them. While meekness and selflessness can be related to submissiveness, conscientiousness and submissiveness aren't necessarily interwoven. It's like saying a submissive female Judge is a conscientious one, which makes no sense and is more or less a contradiction. One can be conscientious without being submissive.

LordKO:

Neither love nor submissiveness is a sign of weakness.

In that case men should have no problem being submissive to women then.

LordKO:



Servility isn't your portion, submissiveness is, I wish you the best.

No wish me wetin my man no wish me.
Na this insanity make am like me.
Don't alter ehhhhh! Chisos!

theButterfly:
Meekness, selflessness and conscientious are not gendered attributes, meaning a man should likewise possess and uphold them. While I understand that meekness and selflessness can be related to submissiveness, conscientiousness and submissiveness aren't necessarily interwoven. It's like saying a submissive female Judge is a conscientious one. One can be conscientious without being submissive.

In that case men should have no problem being submissive to women then.

I say, love is a variant of submissiveness, they only differ in nomenclature and application - if you can understand this simple statement in its informalness, then there won't be need for argument.

- Gender differences do not mean inequality, yet there's gender differences, and we are all human beings.

- Liberty is a right, not a privilege, yet liberty doesn't mean absence of conscientiousness.

Every sane human being is usually conscientious towards others - not just towards a spouse - while a sane couple is usually both altruistic (thoughtful/selfless) and conscientious towards each other. The use of conscientiousness with selflessness and meekness is for checks and balances - creating a healthy and happy union - not because the former is interwoven with the latter mentions (selflessness and meekness)
which are the core attributes of submissiveness.

Love and submissiveness in the context I used them are compound words - so I don't talk submissiveness in its formalness. So, stop behaving like a bumpkin. Altruism remains the soul of any healthy and happy union.

theButterfly:
Meekness, selflessness and conscientious are not gendered attributes, meaning a man should likewise possess and uphold them. While meekness and selflessness can be related to submissiveness, conscientiousness and submissiveness aren't necessarily interwoven. It's like saying a submissive female Judge is a conscientious one, which makes no sense and is more or less a contradiction. One can be conscientious without being submissive.

In that case men should have no problem being submissive to women then.

Thank you.
The guy just dey blow big grammar

AmazonTopaz:

Thank you.
The guy just dey blow big grammar

Come on! Stop being conceited. My submissions are clear and direct for any competent person to understand them, so there's no need for needless tantrum. I'm not here for your useless gender war.

bukatyne:


Actually, the provision I wanted was already embedded in those qualities.

I have stated what I meant by provide in a subsequent post.

Lol...

Buka Buka

crackhaus:

Lol...

Buka Buka

You called my name.

AntiBrutus:


My state of mind is respect.
Anything else?

HIS state of mind, not YOURS.

Now let's try this again:
So you actually think that anyone who talks about submission/submissiveness in marriage online actually mentions the word to their spouses or partners?

crackhaus:

HIS state of mind, not YOURS.

Now let's try this again:
So you actually think that anyone who talks about submission/submissiveness in marriage online actually mentions the word to their spouses or partners?

My man doesn't talk about it,
We don't believe in it.

OUR STATE OF MIND.

LordKO:



Come on! Stop being conceited. My submissions are clear and direct for any competent person to understand them, so there's no need for needless tantrum. I'm not here for your useless gender war.

No one is arguing with you
Your grammar big nor be quarrel and it is your opinion bye bye

Acidosis:


How do you define love?




[s]
I really hope you won't end up defining self-centredness and selfishness[/s]

crackhaus:

Then they have never experienced true love in its raw and purest form.

Love isn’t leaving fundamental parts of who I am behind just to please someone else and being guilted/having my love questioned if I don’t. Love involves compromise but isn’t necessarily contingent on it.

I guess we’ll just agree to disagree.

How does this...

AntiBrutus:

My man doesn't talk about it,

Translate into this?

We don't believe in it.

OUR STATE OF MIND.

He wasn't born and hasn't lived in Nigeria?
His ancestors are not African?

It's called indoctrination, culture programming.
You people keep thinking it's the Bible that commanded women to be submissive, what a joke.
You forget that your forefathers living in the jungles of sub-saharan Africa with no command of English, the inability to read & write, no contact with Christianity or the Bible, yet their communities back then were built around having wives (multiple sef) being submissive in the home and taking second seat, even when these same wives still went to farms and markets to sell their farm produce.

You think it's 21st century women that invented the term 'working moms/wives'? Another joke.
There are even more housewives today than in the days of our forefathers when wives don't sit at home all day but could trek for miles across villages to get to markets just to sell what they farmed, and still get back home to pound yam for husband.

My dear, any African man with complete African ancestry, not to mention also living in Africa that tells you he does not believe in submission is paying you lip-service. That state of mind is something that is locked into our biological codes from generation to generation. The Asians too have this kind of culture.

Don't let the west play you so-called modern women.
The USA that is now the standard for almost everything, and everyone wants to behave and believe in what they do, sure, it's a great country, but they LACK culture.
In fact, they have NO culture because it is a melting pot. A melting pot of different peoples. Every single, I mean EVERY single pure white American traces their ancestry to other countries mostly of European origins.

The Bible is not the problem. Forget Bible and what it preaches about how a man and a woman should live in a marriage. The Chinese have less than 3% of it's over 1billion people as Christians, yet they have maintained their cultural values by insulating themselves from the ideologies of the west.
And are they not doing alright? Well I leave the answer to you.


I know some nicompoops (not you) will still read all this and the only thing they will get from it is, 'ohh why doesn't he just go back to the days of our ancestors and live..'
Make una wise oo.

Abeg my fingers dey pain me.

crackhaus:
How does this...


Translate into this?


He wasn't born and hasn't lived in Nigeria?
His ancestors are not African?

It's called indoctrination, culture programming.
You people keep thinking it's the Bible that commanded women to be submissive, what a joke.
You forget that your forefathers living in the jungles of sub-saharan Africa with no command of English, the inability to read & write, no contact with Christianity or the Bible, yet their communities back then were built around having wives (multiple sef) being submissive in the home and taking second seat, even when these same wives still went to farms and markets to sell their farm produce.

You think it's 21st century women that invented the term 'working moms/wives'? Another joke.
There are even more housewives today than in the days of our forefathers when wives don't sit at home all day but could trek for miles across villages to get to markets just to sell what they farmed, and still get back home to pound yam for husband.

My dear, any African man with complete African ancestry, not to mention also living in Africa that tells you he does not believe in submission is paying you lip-service. That state of mind is something that is locked into our biological codes from generation to generation. The Asians too have this kind of culture.

Don't let the west play you so-called modern women.
The USA that is now the standard for almost everything, and everyone wants to behave and believe in what they do, sure, it's a great country, but they LACK culture.
In fact, they have NO culture because it is a melting pot. A melting pot of different peoples. Every single, I mean EVERY single pure white American traces their ancestry to other countries mostly of European origins.

The Bible is not the problem. Forget Bible and what it preaches about how a man and a woman should live in a marriage. The Chinese have less than 3% of it's over 1billion people as Christians, yet they have maintained their cultural values by insulating themselves from the ideologies of the west.
And are they not doing alright? Well I leave the answer to you.


I know some nicompoops (not you) will still read all this and the only thing they will get from it is, 'ohh why doesn't he just go back to the days of our ancestors and live..'
Make una wise oo.

Abeg my fingers dey pain me.

Okay Sir.

ibkayee:


Love isn’t leaving fundamental parts of who I am behind just to please someone else and being guilted/having my love questioned if I don’t. Love involves compromise but isn’t necessarily contingent on it.

I guess we’ll just agree to disagree.

But that is exactly what the definition of love is.

Anyway, agree to disagree.

crackhaus:
How does this...


Translate into this?


He wasn't born and hasn't lived in Nigeria?
His ancestors are not African?

It's called indoctrination, culture programming.
You people keep thinking it's the Bible that commanded women to be submissive, what a joke.
You forget that your forefathers living in the jungles of sub-saharan Africa with no command of English, the inability to read & write, no contact with Christianity or the Bible, yet their communities back then were built around having wives (multiple sef) being submissive in the home and taking second seat, even when these same wives still went to farms and markets to sell their farm produce.

You think it's 21st century women that invented the term 'working moms'? Another joke.
There are even more housewives today than in the days of our forefathers when wives don't sit at home all day but could trek for miles across villages to get to markets just to sell what they farmed, and still get back home to pound yam for husband.

My dear, any African man with complete African ancestry, not to mention also living in Africa that tells you he does not believe in submission is paying you lip-service. That kind of mentality is something that is locked into our biological codes from generation to generation. The Asians too have this kind of culture.

Don't let the west play you so-called modern women.
The USA that is now the standard for almost everything and everyone wants to behave and believe what they do, sure, it's a great country, but they LACK culture.
In fact, they have NO culture because it is a melting pot. A melting pot of different peoples. Every single, I mean EVERY single pure white American traces their ancestry to other countries mostly of European origins.

The Bible is not the problem. Forget Bible and what it preaches about how a man and a woman should live in a marriage. The Chinese have less than 3% of it's over 1billion people as Christians, yet they have maintained their cultural values by insulating themselves from the ideologies of the west.
And are they not doing alright? Well I leave the answer to you.


I know some nicompoops (not you) will still read all this and the only thing they will get from it is, 'ohh why doesn't he just go back to the days of our ancestors and live..'
Make una wise oo.

Abeg my fingers dey pain me.

The Bible gives a better deal.

Men are commanded to love their wives sacrificially.

And what our ancestors did wasn't submission.

And the West! I wager that they have more books on submission than we do.

When you stumble on the really conservative ones, you will know that African men has not started.

crackhaus:

But that is exactly what the definition of love is.

Anyway, agree to disagree.

Like I also said, it involves compromise but it is not contingent on it.

So every time I don’t do what you want it means I don’t love you? Lol how manipulative.

When it comes to ‘compromising’, it’s the woman that needs to when it comes to the topic of submission, the guy can’t also ‘compromise’ not having her submit for some reason lol

bukatyne:


1. The Bible gives a better deal.

2. Men are commanded to love their wives sacrificially.

3. And what our ancestors did wasn't submission.

4. And the West! I wager that they have more books on submission than we do.

When you stumble on the really conservative ones, you will know that African men has not started.

1. Lol, believe me I don't want to discredit the bible. But sometimes, I think we Christians ought to question why we are so dogmatic with a religion that was imported. Just saying.

2. Are you implying our forefathers didn't love their wives sacrificially?

3. What was it then?

4. Possiby.

ibkayee:

Like I also said, it involves compromise but it is not contingent on it.

So every time I don’t do what you want it means I don’t love you? Lol how manipulative.

When it comes to ‘compromising’, it’s the woman that needs to when it comes to the topic of submission, the guy can’t also ‘compromise’ not having her submit for some reason lol

E tire me o. Me almost wan sleep off sef.
Why can't he love me enough to submit to me? I guess they are smarter than that.

Abeg, make I face my man.