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My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man - Family (2) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man (53122 Views)

As A Married Man, Do You Sometimes Dream Of Leaving Your Family & Disappearing? / My Cousin Who Got Married Last Year July Is Actually Thinking Of Leaving / My Boyfriend Is On The Verge Of Leaving Me. Help! (2) (3) (4)

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Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by Martinez39(m): 5:10pm On Sep 13, 2019
Acidosis:


It seems like you're extremely ignorant but then again, I believe you're simply denying the truth. Take a moment to think about your relationships or marriage. What's the most remarkable thing you've done for your girlfriend/wife? Would you have done exact thing at the beginning of your relationship? No, right? Does it mean you don't love her from inception? You don't just wake up to start loving and making sacrifices for someone like a controlled zombie. It takes a great deal of commitment to arrive at that level. Husband or not, did you take a moment to ask how long they've been together?
This is a wife and husband relationship we are talking about. The man has shown himself to be a good man willing to make sacrifices for his woman. Also, it's a biological fact that a human can function on one kidney. The facts that she is compatible and a human can run on one kidney leaves her with no excuse.

We can agree to disagree. She has the right to refuse giving out her kidney and no one is forcing her but it's clear that she has no love for the man. Stop giving excuses. Good day.

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Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by Nobody: 5:20pm On Sep 13, 2019
g

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Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by Acidosis(m): 5:21pm On Sep 13, 2019
Martinez39:
This is a wife and husband relationship we are talking about. The man has shown himself to be a good man willing to make sacrifices for his woman. Also, it's a biological fact that a human can function on one kidney. The fact that she is compatible and a human can run on one kidney leaves her with no excuse.

We can agree to disagree. She has the right to refuse giving out her kidney and no one is forcing her but it's clear that she has no love for the man. Stop giving excuses.

Well, like you said we can agree to disagree. I don't know how long they've been together. But I still maintain that in a short relationship or marriage, it is impractical to make certain kind of demand. I honestly wouldn't expect a girl I had just met, for instance, to make some kind of sacrifices. Love do not always shut the place of human reasoning.

But if you insist on blaming the wife, well the bulk of the blame in my opinion still rests on the man's table. Women don't propose marriage to men, remember?

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Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by Martinez39(m): 5:29pm On Sep 13, 2019
Acidosis:


Well, like you said we can agree to disagree. I don't know how long they've been together. But I still maintain that in a short relationship or marriage, it is impractical to make certain kind of demand. I honestly wouldn't expect a girl I had just met, for instance, to make some kind of sacrifices for me. Love do not always shut the place of human reasoning.

But if you insist on blaming the wife, well the bulk of the blame in my opinion rests on the man's table. Women don't propose marriage to men, remember?
Their union is not a short one. He partly trained her in school. For you to have agreed to marry someone; married that person; and you can't make sacrifice for love shows you don't love the person. It's like a soldier claiming to be brave but runs away when battle starts because "it's too early to die". grin For this woman, "it's too early" is not an excuse. SHE DOESN'T LOVE HER HUSBAND. Anyway, let's end it here. grin

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Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by Nobody: 5:29pm On Sep 13, 2019
g
Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by Chubhie: 5:33pm On Sep 13, 2019
Endtime wife.....
Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by ChristianEast: 5:55pm On Sep 13, 2019
Acidosis:


It seems like you're extremely ignorant but then again, I believe you're simply denying the truth. Take a moment to think about your relationships or marriage. What's the most remarkable thing you've done for your girlfriend/wife? Would you have done exact thing at the beginning of your relationship? No, right? Does it mean you don't love her from inception? You don't just wake up to start loving and making sacrifices for someone like a controlled zombie. It takes a great deal of commitment to arrive at that level. Husband or not, did you take a moment to ask how long they've been together?
This is bullshii.

An average man would make that sacrifice for the wife. #FACT

I will do it for my wife without dragging families into it. I am afraid of surgeries, I don't trust Nigeria medical system, but I will make that sacrifice.

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Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by Martinez39(m): 6:00pm On Sep 13, 2019
ChristianEast:

This is bullshii.

An average man would make that sacrifice for the wife. #FACT

I will do it for my wife without dragging families into it. I am afraid of surgeries, I don't trust Nigeria medical system, but I will make that sacrifice.
Thank you jare! All these females are just talking nonsense.

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Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by sofiscatedmoron: 6:18pm On Sep 13, 2019
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Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by Acidosis(m): 6:36pm On Sep 13, 2019
ChristianEast:

This is bullshii.

An average man would make that sacrifice for the wife. #FACT

I will do it for my wife without dragging families into it. I am afraid of surgeries, I don't trust Nigeria medical system, but I will make that sacrifice.

Are you married?
Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by pocohantas(f): 6:43pm On Sep 13, 2019
OJB of blessed memory collected kidney from his first wife and went on to marry extra wives. Couples gat no chill now.

Though I am surprised at the speed she wants to use in leaving. If it weren't kidney failure, there would have been some other challenge that would make her disappear in record time.

So, irrespective of the current situation- I believe she is a fair-weather wife. She wanted the marriage, never was it him.

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Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by Nobody: 6:44pm On Sep 13, 2019
Lol. Fake love everywhere
Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by Starz825(m): 6:45pm On Sep 13, 2019
Love is getting cold already though....
Also..Nobody would want his or her daughter/son make this grievous sacrifice for his/her spouse......


But this is a challenge in Marriage/Love.......

Someone u once share bed and great memories with but suddenly goes sick and need ur biological assistance.....

Only True Love can stand in Such Situation
Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by tyeenigga(m): 6:54pm On Sep 13, 2019
If you are on Abuja or can get Human Rights Radio contact they can help the family, they needed one kidney and four people came for free donation.
LillyVal:
My cousin who qgot married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the marriage because the husband was diagnosed of Kidney failure and needs a transplant. The summary of the story is that the family of the man is expecting the newly married wife to donate one of her kidney to the man because my cousin is biological match to the husband, she and her family has said LAI LIA O, that his their child and they should find a way to go about it. After dragging this issues for some months na, my cousin family are pushing her to file for a divorce

a. would it be considered wickedness on her part considering, his not only the husband but PARTLY trained her in school too?

The marriage is less than a year no much money to even look for a seller, Aunty want to japa and leave the man

What do you think?
Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by Cutehector(m): 7:22pm On Sep 13, 2019
That means, we just get married for the fun of it.

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Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by marvelous000: 7:49pm On Sep 13, 2019
pocohantas:
OJB of blessed memory collected kidney from his first wife and went on to marry extra wives. Couples gat no chill now.

Though I am surprised at the speed she wants to use in leaving. If it weren't kidney failure, there would have been some other challenge that would make her disappear in record time.

So, irrespective of the current situation- I believe she is a fair-weather wife. She wanted the marriage, never was it him.
can you prove that he married extra wife after his kidney debacle, or you're giving a dog a bad name to hang it. cos as far as my memory serve me; such a thing never happened, instead; it was said that his other wives deserted him when his kidney issue started, only the one who donated her kidney stuck around, and i remember people on nairaland hailing her for sticking with him when others left.

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Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by pocohantas(f): 7:53pm On Sep 13, 2019
marvelous000:

can you prove that he married extra wife after his kidney debacle, or you're giving a dog a bad name to hang it. cos as far as my memory serve me; such a thing never happened, instead; it was said that his other wives deserted him when his kidney issue started, only the one who donated her kidney stuck around, and i remember people on nairaland hailing her for sticking with him when others left.

When he was shown on HIP-TV, they were all with him. But going by your narrative, a man had a woman who loved him enough to donate her kidney- but he married extra wives. No wonder this one no wan give.

Before he will use her kidney and be doing "men are polygamous in nature" grin

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Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by Modernist: 7:58pm On Sep 13, 2019
Walahi Awon Oloriburuku obirirn lo kun Nairaland.
Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by greenmonk: 8:04pm On Sep 13, 2019
sunnitus:
true love which lead to marriage is all about sacrifice, as we all know not all marriages are built on true love. if she truly love her husband let her sacrifice for him regardless of what her family members are saying..but if she don't love him let her do as she pleases, but let her also know that if anything should happen to that man because of the action she want to take, she will forever live with that guilt....let her think well before she act
Are you saying she should love her husband more than his own family.
If the man had died suddenly would his family allowed her to get all his entittlements from his employer and inherit all his property.
Is it only in benefits thst we invoke our traditional stands.
Asking the wife to donate her organ should be the last option given the short span of the marriage

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Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by shege45: 8:08pm On Sep 13, 2019
Acidosis:
Your cousin should first and foremost consider any effects donation might have on her overall health. Confirming that your cousin is a biological match means some steps already have been taken. Further 'light' tests should be considered to be sure there are no medical challenges (diabetes, HBP, etc.). Presence of health challenges automatically nullifies chances of donating to her husband. In my opinion, it's better to decline by dwelling on the aforementioned challenges.

Where there are no underlying health issues, no one should pressure her into giving her organ. Organ donation is more of sacrifice and selflessness than romantic and sexual love. It takes a special kind of love to give an organ to a spouse, sister, brother, parents or child, etc. What if she loves her husband but just can't trust the medical procedure? Some people don't trust medical doctors and surgical procedures. It's just what it is.

The mother of the man in context can also come forward and donate to her son. After all, people have made us believe that the love a mother has towards her son exceeds all forms of love. Let her come and prove that love.

then people would come up with stupid questions such as “if its a matter of life and death and you are to choose one person, who would you choose, wife or mom” and if one picks mom, people begin to talk rubbish. Una see say wife wan japa. Something I don’t even see the essence of taking wedding vows this days again. For better for worst my foot

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Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by purples25(f): 8:16pm On Sep 13, 2019
She can still live with her other kidney. And thats her husband.

Well, i was going to comment with all indignation and fury but thats the only piece of my mind i will show. Besides, i dont have any right to judge.

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Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by Acidosis(m): 8:23pm On Sep 13, 2019
shege45:
then people would come up with stupid questions such as “if its a matter of life and death and you are to choose one person, who would you choose, wife or mom” and if one picks mom, people begin to talk rubbish. Una see say wife wan japa. Something I don’t even see the essence of taking wedding vows this days again. For better for worst my foot

It's a selfish world bro. Same way the wife wan japa is the same way the guy mama haff japa. Majority of mothers today can't die for their children when faced with hard realities. You can't blame them, there is a limit to how much we sacrifice in the name of love. Some will empty their accounts and even take on debts to ensure a sick spouse receive the best treatment. Ask them to lay down their organ, and watch the reaction. Love get different elastic limits o...just pray to meet one that loves you very very much and pray against the kind of temptation or challenge that can break the elastic limit of that love.

The one that donates her kidney may fail when faced with a temptation to cheat in exchange for millions. Some won't cheat even if you offer them a million dollars, but to donate organ?

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Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by shege45: 8:46pm On Sep 13, 2019
Acidosis:


It's a selfish world bro. Same way the wife wan japa is the same way the guy mama haff japa. Majority of mothers today can't die for their children when faced with hard realities. You can't blame them, there is a limit to how much we sacrifice in the name of love. Some will empty their accounts and even take on debts to ensure a sick spouse receive the best treatment. Ask them to lay down their organ, and watch the reaction. Love get different elastic limits o...just pray to meet one that loves you very very much and pray against the kind of temptation or challenge that can break the elastic limit of that love.

The one that donates her kidney may fail still when faced with a temptation to cheat in exchange for millions. Some won't cheat even if you offer them a million dollars, but to donate organ?

only very few mothers would japa but majority of wives would run when under pressure

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Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by Nobody: 8:57pm On Sep 13, 2019
marvelous000:

can you prove that he married extra wife after his kidney debacle, or you're giving a dog a bad name to hang it. cos as far as my memory serve me; such a thing never happened, instead; it was said that his other wives deserted him when his kidney issue started, only the one who donated her kidney stuck around, and i remember people on nairaland hailing her for sticking with him when others left.
God forbid bad thing

1 Like

Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by Nobody: 8:59pm On Sep 13, 2019
I ain't not donating anything.

Woman way never born finish.

If tomorrow now problem start, his family will remember he is an only son.

By the way, for those of us preaching love, will u donate to your wives?

See as everybody is winnying mouth grin
Love ke grin

Too much booze. Stop drinking shepke and kaikai mixed together they will not hear.
When kidney wahala surface, they will remember love.

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Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by Acidosis(m): 8:59pm On Sep 13, 2019
shege45:
only very few mothers would japa but majority of wives would run when under pressure

You mean to type 'majority of wives and husbands'? Do you know why some churches won't join a couple without a comprehensive health check from a government health centre? Do you know why men these days can't wait for wedding before asking their spouses to get pregnant? Nobody wants to sacrifice anything or suffer anylonger. To see that kind of love that defies all logic, challenges and temptations, you go reach Calvary or Galilee o

grin

Matthew 6:13 (see how I'm interpreting this verse)

" ...And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the kind of evil that can make us deny our spouse.

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Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by Nobody: 9:00pm On Sep 13, 2019
purples25:
She can still live with her other kidney. And thats her husband.

Well, i was going to comment with all indignation and fury but thats the only piece of my mind i will show. Besides, i dont have any right to judge.
what if the man's body rejec5s the donor kidney later on.

she getting pregnant in future with one kidney is putting her life in danger.

There has to be something else the couple is not telling us that makes the woman want to leave.

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Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by CyberEBOLA(m): 9:01pm On Sep 13, 2019
THEY MARRIED HER FOR HER KIDNEY IN THE FIRST PLACE

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Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by LadySarah: 9:03pm On Sep 13, 2019
Vieamie:
She does not love her hubsand at all. Even if the kidney problem was there before or not, Who think twice on saving the life of her spouse? something a stranger can even do for another.

Will You advice ur sis to give?
What If complications arise,willit be wise that bothcouple suffer Or die.

Sh is yet to born sef.If She is with pregnancy Or woukd later become preggy,how will She carry it with one kidney.
If She had had a child(ren),it Could be partly considered.
Tbt,the man has a lot of explaining to do cos the problem disnt start suddenly After marriage .Let his mother donate hers.It was how one hoe i know survived. undecided undecided

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Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by LINTUNE(m): 9:06pm On Sep 13, 2019
sunnitus:
true love which lead to marriage is all about sacrifice, as we all know not all marriages are built on true love. if she truly love her husband let her sacrifice for him regardless of what her family members are saying..but if she don't love him let her do as she pleases, but let her also know that if anything should happen to that man because of the action she want to take, she will forever live with that guilt....let her think well before she act
let's be frank, would u advice ur sister to sacrifice, knowing fully well that the sickness has been there, even before they met.

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Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by purples25(f): 9:20pm On Sep 13, 2019
funmisticqueen:
what if the man's body rejec5s the donor kidney later on.

she getting pregnant in future with one kidney is putting her life in danger.

There has to be something else the couple is not telling us that makes the woman want to leave.

One thing about loyalty and standing by somebody : If you decide to do it, just know, you stand by them even when things are so terrible, even when it is uglier than the devil. You dont shake, you dont move. You stay and be loyal without even knowing if that person will stand by you. You stand with him or her knowing you may not even get any appreciation, even though the person is hurting you.

Thats just the plain true nature of loyalty. Its terrible. If she wants to be loyal, thats the only way.

And thats also why i can't judge her.

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Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by Nobody: 9:33pm On Sep 13, 2019
Acidosis:


You mean to type 'majority of wives and husbands'? Do you know why some churches won't join a couple without a comprehensive health check from a government health centre? Do you know why men these days can't wait for wedding before asking their spouses to get pregnant? Nobody wants to sacrifice anything or suffer anylonger. To see that kind of love that defies all logic, challenges and temptations, you go reach Calvary or Galilee o

grin

Matthew 6:13 (see how I'm interpreting this verse)

" ...And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the kind of evil that can make us deny our spouse.
Tell them.
Let them define love to start with.

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