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My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man - Family (4) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man (53429 Views)

As A Married Man, Do You Sometimes Dream Of Leaving Your Family & Disappearing? / My Cousin Who Got Married Last Year July Is Actually Thinking Of Leaving / My Boyfriend Is On The Verge Of Leaving Me. Help! (2) (3) (4)

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Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by Kapeter(m): 8:10am On Sep 14, 2019
yazga:
Did the kidney suddenly fail or it was there all along and wasn't disclosed? If it wasn't disclosed, she has a choice to walk away. If it happened suddenly, she ought to make sacrifice but you can't force her. I believe he has siblings, let love ànd blood lead.

Again, Instead of the two families to sit down and look for a suitable solution, it's divorce they are pushing her for? A fresh marriage for that matter, what exactly was their reason to get married if they can't support and help each other at their down times?
i have been saying this and i will continue saying it. You'd hardly find love in marriages these days, marriage these days is all about two people who are either ready willingly or under pressure to settle down and find themselves compatible enough.

As for the op, your cousin is free to japa, it's her life, it's not mandated she donates. For better for worse is just a mere words like ones we've been saying since birth (in these days marriages sha).

And if the husband family love their son enough, they should stop expecting much from the wife, they should go find a way to save their son.

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Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by hysteriabox(m): 8:11am On Sep 14, 2019
LillyVal:
My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the marriage because the husband was diagnosed of Kidney failure and needs a transplant. The summary of the story is that the family of the man is expecting the newly married wife to donate one of her kidney to the man because my cousin is biological match to the husband, she and her family has said LAI LIA O, that his their child and they should find a way to go about it. After dragging this issues for some months na, my cousin family are pushing her to file for a divorce

a. would it be considered wickedness on her part considering, his not only the husband but PARTLY trained her in school too?

The marriage is less than a year no much money to even look for a seller, Aunty want to japa and leave the man

What do you think?
No one has the right to put her in that position. It's her decision and should not be pressured or mentally blackmailed to donate. It's her call.
Its left for her to consider the facts that its the man she loves, the one that was there for her, that married her to spend the rest of his life with, the one that might do same if the situation was reverse.... One kidney is enough to live healthy to 100 years.
But no... She can't be cornered to forcefully donate. Nothing beats her

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Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by nwimo22(m): 8:11am On Sep 14, 2019
There’s no true Love in marriages this days. How can she abandon or go for a divorce when she’s needed most? The man having in mind that she wants to leave him at this point in time is enough to cause a disastrous effect on his health.

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Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by angelwuse: 8:13am On Sep 14, 2019
Ramin Mazaheri
Press TV, Paris

In response to President Emmanuel Macron’s widely unpopular efforts to lead a radical austerity rollback to France’s pension system, train unions led the biggest public transport shutdown in over a decade. The day was called “Black Friday” in the press, as half of the capital’s subway system was shuttered for the entire day.

Macron’s pension scheme proposes a universal system, which inherently benefits highly-educated people more than manual laborers who began working full-time as teenagers. Extremely unpopular is the scheme’s plan to deny a full pension to anyone retiring before the age of 64, which effectively raises the retirement age by two years via a back-door method.

The government says savings are needed due to France’s long-stagnant economy and increased public debt. However, for nearly a decade there has been no deviation from ineffective “trickle-down” economics imposed by Brussels, and France’s debt ballooned because governments across the eurozone have been forced to pay for the failed loans of private banks.

Unions said “Black Friday” was just the opening shot. Macron’s insistence on forcing through the changes means that it seems he is content for his term to be defined by perpetual, massive anti-government movements against unwanted austerity measures.

More huge strikes and protests are planned in the coming weeks, and the cycle of social disruption and violence caused by European austerity continues with no end in sight.
Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by Ganjafama(m): 8:14am On Sep 14, 2019
nwimo22:
There’s no true Love in marriages this days. How can she abandon or go for a divorce when she’s needed most? The man having in mind that she wants to leave him at this point in time is enough to cause a disastrous effect on his health.
Bros talk true, if the girl na your pikin you go advice am to donate one of her kidney?
Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by jclassiq(m): 8:14am On Sep 14, 2019
Acidosis:


It seems like you're extremely ignorant but then again, I believe you're simply denying the truth. Take a moment to think about your relationships or marriage. What's the most remarkable thing you've done for your girlfriend/wife? Would you have done exact thing at the beginning of your relationship? No, right? Does it mean you don't love her from inception? You don't just wake up to start loving and making sacrifices for someone like a controlled zombie. It takes a great deal of commitment to arrive at that level. Husband or not, did you take a moment to ask how long they've been together?

You are the ignorant person Mr. Someone is talking about a marriage spouse and you keep talking crap about girlfriend. Are you so immature that you can't see past this puerile inclination of yours?

They are married for godsake, not your senseless boyfriend girlfriend talk. If you can't make such a sacrifice for your husband, then it means the marital vows don't mean much. And it then begs the question: why willingly marry someone you don't love and can make sacrifices for?

Be smart bro.

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Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by tayoccu(m): 8:15am On Sep 14, 2019
I feel she's being selfish, she should put herself in the guy's shoes, how would she feel if she needed a transplant and her husband refused to donate?

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Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by femi4: 8:16am On Sep 14, 2019
catwalq:
It's a decision only your sis can make. If she wants to do it fine,if not....She shouldn't be compelled into doing anything.

I think it should take more than a year for a kidney to get so bad as to be replaced ( don't quote me on that o)
Exactly, kidney don't damage overnight
Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by LaExpert: 8:16am On Sep 14, 2019
yazga:
Did the kidney suddenly fail or it was there all along and wasn't disclosed? If it wasn't disclosed, she has a choice to walk away. If it happened suddenly, she ought to make sacrifice but you can't force her. I believe he has siblings, let love ànd blood lead.

Again, Instead of the two families to sit down and look for a suitable solution, it's divorce they are pushing her for? A fresh marriage for that matter, what exactly was their reason to get married if they can't support and help each other at their down times?

An acute kidney failure can occur at any time but it is unlikely to require a transplant.

A chronic failure is overtime; sometimes, over many years. The only problem is that a chronic kidney disease is unlikely to be diagnosed until it is about stage 4.

I believe it is her call to make, but if she decides not to, then it raises so many questions on her part.

By the way, is marriage not supposed to be in sickness and health?

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Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by Cocotrendz(m): 8:17am On Sep 14, 2019
Chosen1984:
Her Husband should be her First Priority! That's just the truth!

As long as they have been Married... she is Meant to stay with the Man

You are mad

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Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by alizma: 8:17am On Sep 14, 2019
ednut1:
if this story is true. this a pointer that true love is a scam. many people are in relationships for material or societal gains
True love exist but not just in marriage. Don't be surprise that someone somewhere who loves will donate that kidney
Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by jclassiq(m): 8:17am On Sep 14, 2019
tayoccu:
I feel she's being selfish, she should put herself in the guy's shoes, how would she feel if she needed a transplant and her husband refused to donate?

This is the problem with the world today. Ppl are increasingly becoming selfish.

3 Likes

Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by crackhouse(m): 8:17am On Sep 14, 2019
LillyVal:
My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the marriage because the husband was diagnosed of Kidney failure and needs a transplant. The summary of the story is that the family of the man is expecting the newly married wife to donate one of her kidney to the man because my cousin is biological match to the husband, she and her family has said LAI LIA O, that his their child and they should find a way to go about it. After dragging this issues for some months na, my cousin family are pushing her to file for a divorce

a. would it be considered wickedness on her part considering, his not only the husband but PARTLY trained her in school too?

The marriage is less than a year no much money to even look for a seller, Aunty want to japa and leave the man

What do you think?
i don't know how this advice will look like but I was listening to one programme in Abuja called brekete programme and the anchor Ahmed announced on air that he have somebody who desperately need a kidney and begged anybody that can donate to come over and donate, about four people came forward to donate theirs free of charge. Maybe u can try and see whether one of those people will agree to donate for your friend's husband. But i must say that the wife no try at all. Marriage is suppose to be for better for worse.

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Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by Cocotrendz(m): 8:18am On Sep 14, 2019
tayoccu:
I feel she's being selfish, she should put herself in the guy's shoes, how would she feel if she needed a transplant and her husband refused to donate?
Do you think it's easy to forfeit one organ for someone who might cheat on her

3 Likes

Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by Payperboii(m): 8:20am On Sep 14, 2019
LillyVal:
My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the marriage because the husband was diagnosed of Kidney failure and needs a transplant. The summary of the story is that the family of the man is expecting the newly married wife to donate one of her kidney to the man because my cousin is biological match to the husband, she and her family has said LAI LIA O, that his their child and they should find a way to go about it. After dragging this issues for some months na, my cousin family are pushing her to file for a divorce

a. would it be considered wickedness on her part considering, his not only the husband but PARTLY trained her in school too?

The marriage is less than a year no much money to even look for a seller, Aunty want to japa and leave the man

What do you think?
can I donate?
If they can run the needful test n I match I will do so
Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by gnykelly(m): 8:21am On Sep 14, 2019
The question and responses I am seeing here... Is making me to introspect and question the subject of marriage and love... I m leaning towards individualism

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Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by Nobody: 8:22am On Sep 14, 2019
DaBogu:
Wawuuuu men are not only marrying for free emotional and domestic labour they’ve also started marrying for organs as well. There’s no way he’s just now finding out now that he’s sick 2 months after marrying her.
Awon organ harvesters. God safe us.
Bro I support you on this..... I don't think a Kidney can just go bad in less than a year
Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by franky702(m): 8:24am On Sep 14, 2019
LillyVal:
My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the marriage because the husband was diagnosed of Kidney failure and needs a transplant. The summary of the story is that the family of the man is expecting the newly married wife to donate one of her kidney to the man because my cousin is biological match to the husband, she and her family has said LAI LIA O, that his their child and they should find a way to go about it. After dragging this issues for some months na, my cousin family are pushing her to file for a divorce

a. would it be considered wickedness on her part considering, his not only the husband but PARTLY trained her in school too?

The marriage is less than a year no much money to even look for a seller, Aunty want to japa and leave the man

What do you think?
same story as seen on twitter.... so is this story yours or lifted... just asking

1 Like

Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by therealMcCain: 8:24am On Sep 14, 2019
LillyVal:

1. No
2. Old enought o get married
3. Bsc
4. She is in the best position to answer

The information given isn't complete.

The wife can't be the only compatible donor. what about the man's brothers & sisters. his mother nko?

Did the man know about his kidney issue before & did he share this info with the wife?

Donating ones organ is no Joke, folks in this part are scared of simple appendix removal or CS delivery not to talk of a major surgery like kidney replacement.

This is a family matter there nothing anyone can do here. Your cousin should go for counselling regardless of the choice she makes.

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Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by mamajj17(f): 8:25am On Sep 14, 2019
There was never FRIENDSHIP between the Two, sorry to say, the love your Cousin had was to becomes a MRS., if the Marriage is mainly based on FRIENDSHIP before they were wedded, given out an Organ wouldn't be a problem , you give out EVERYTHING for love. Pity the guy, may the good Lord Favours find and locate him. Amen

2 Likes

Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by nini007(m): 8:26am On Sep 14, 2019
LillyVal:
My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the marriage because the husband was diagnosed of Kidney failure and needs a transplant. The summary of the story is that the family of the man is expecting the newly married wife to donate one of her kidney to the man because my cousin is biological match to the husband, she and her family has said LAI LIA O, that his their child and they should find a way to go about it. After dragging this issues for some months na, my cousin family are pushing her to file for a divorce

a. would it be considered wickedness on her part considering, his not only the husband but PARTLY trained her in school too?

The marriage is less than a year no much money to even look for a seller, Aunty want to japa and leave the man

What do you think?
It's simply because they are forcing her, that's why she feels threatened. 3 months into the wedding makes it look like a set up. They knew what they wanted from her all along.

7 Likes

Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by Nobody: 8:27am On Sep 14, 2019
When she was singing FOR BETTER AND FOR WORSE, IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH, she thought its Nigeria national anthem that has no meaning, value and holds no water
Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by DrDax: 8:27am On Sep 14, 2019
LillyVal:
My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the marriage because the husband was diagnosed of Kidney failure and needs a transplant. The summary of the story is that the family of the man is expecting the newly married wife to donate one of her kidney to the man because my cousin is biological match to the husband, she and her family has said LAI LIA O, that his their child and they should find a way to go about it. After dragging this issues for some months na, my cousin family are pushing her to file for a divorce

a. would it be considered wickedness on her part considering, his not only the husband but PARTLY trained her in school too?

The marriage is less than a year no much money to even look for a seller, Aunty want to japa and leave the man

What do you think?

Rubbish.

I am almost sure that this marriage was a set-up from the get-go.

Marriage should be annulled based on non-disclosure of health status.

Haba, organ transplant all within 6-months of marriage?
The man obviously shopped for a wife specifically for this purpose- kidney donor.

Some people are just too smart for their own good.

Nobody should blackmail her into giving under duress abeg.

She should walk away quick!!!!!!

8 Likes

Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by Jamesilvar(m): 8:28am On Sep 14, 2019
Chai.
No love again in marriages.
You promised him in good times and bad times.
In sickness and in health.
If it was 1billion naira that the man won, will the wife and her family members be happy if the man and his parent's family alone share the money without giving the wife a dime?
Your cousin doesn't love that man period.
I doubt she ever did.
Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by Originalsly: 8:29am On Sep 14, 2019
LillyVal:


After dragging this issue for some months na, my cousin family are pushing her to file for a divorce


Hmmm.....let me chew on this. They got married in July... less than three months ago... but the issue been dragging for months? When did he really know his kidneys were bad?...and she is a match? None of his family members was a match?....but this girl whom he happened to pay her school fees is a match? Red flags. I would want to know if his kidneys are really bad. If yes... then he is marrying for her kidney.... why should his sibling donate when he has a wife? If no.... then the marriage is a business.... he has plans to sell her kidney to recoup the money he spent on her education and make a profit.
My advice would be for her to get a divorce since more likely the aim of the marriage was getting her kidney.
She needs to be careful.... and relocate farrr from the husband and his family... she should consider herself a wanted person.... wanted for organ harvesting.

2 Likes

Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by frank417: 8:30am On Sep 14, 2019
Make una just leave her make she decide on her own. Na she know the person wey she marry las las

1 Like

Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by nwimo22(m): 8:30am On Sep 14, 2019
Ganjafama:
Bros talk true, if the girl na your pikin you go advice am to donate one of her kidney?
In as much as I don’t pray for any of my siblings and friends to encounter such in their respective marriages or relationships, I will advise her to donate since they were legally married. It’s high time we(man and woman) take responsibility of whatever that comes out from our marriages or anything we weren’t forced into.
Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by lebron7(m): 8:33am On Sep 14, 2019
Acidosis:
Your cousin should first and foremost consider any effects donation might have on her overall health. Confirming that your cousin is a biological match means some steps already have been taken. Further 'light' tests should be considered to be sure there are no medical challenges (diabetes, HBP, etc.). Presence of health challenges automatically nullifies chances of donating to her husband. In my opinion, it's better to decline by dwelling on the aforementioned challenges.

Where there are no underlying health issues, no one should pressure her into giving her organ. Organ donation is more of sacrifice and selflessness than romantic and sexual love. It takes a special kind of love to give an organ to a spouse, sister, brother, parents or child, etc. What if she loves her husband but just can't trust the medical procedure? Some people don't trust medical doctors and surgical procedures. It's just what it is.

The mother of the man in context can also come forward and donate to her son. After all, people have made us believe that the love a mother has towards her son exceeds all forms of love. Let her come and prove that love.

Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by 2019elections: 8:33am On Sep 14, 2019
Ganjafama:
If the girl was my daughter I would advise her not to do it. But it it's still a choice she has to make for herself
BTW, what about the parents of the man? God forbid that my child is in such situation, I won't even hesitate before giving him/her one of my kidney. Even if it means sacrificing my life by giving that child both my kidneys I would do it.

But u can't sacrifice for ur husband.
Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by d33types: 8:34am On Sep 14, 2019
marvelous000:

Dear, I think you're prevaricating as regards your comment that elicited my response. you asserted that he subsequently married other women after his health reprieve by the skin of his teeth, through the unquantifiable sacrifice of his wife. and my response was to negate any possible fallacy in your claim, or to have you disabuse me of any egregious thinking. so, this your assertion is only relevant, if you know for sure, and can provide axiomatic fact that she's his first wife.
conversely, your last paragraph is funnygrin

Please, you'll need to take the IELTS. Although, your use of grammar, even though superfluous, passes very little message.

Your cohesion and coherence is even zero. Cheers
Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by Nobody: 8:34am On Sep 14, 2019
franklingud:
Wickedness and more of it.

Someone that helped train you in school and also married you on top of it all.

Humanity and savagery is getting out of hand.


AkwaEtitiBabe what can you say about this?
This is where true emotions are tasted. I remember one of ojb wife gave him a kidney. If you truly love ur partner, such matter won't be difficult. And married peeps should try to leave out their parents and siblings in their matters abeg, humans can be selfish. Personally I'd give me a kidney. Shey I can survive on one kidney ryt? Giving d father of my kids my kidney won't be bad... Atleast I'll know I own him totally, I'm his life saver. grin
Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by Obascoetubi: 8:35am On Sep 14, 2019
catwalq:
It's a decision only your sis can make. If she wants to do it fine,if not....She shouldn't be compelled into doing anything.

I think it should take more than a year for a kidney to get so bad as to be replaced ( don't quote me on that o)
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