LillyVal:
Bolded, Thank you.
Italics, good question

It's obvious that you are just looking for excuses for your cousin not to donate.
You have already taken a stand on it with your family.

LillyVal:
My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the marriage because the husband was diagnosed of Kidney failure and needs a transplant. The summary of the story is that the family of the man is expecting the newly married wife to donate one of her kidney to the man because my cousin is biological match to the husband, she and her family has said LAI LIA O, that his their child and they should find a way to go about it. After dragging this issues for some months na, my cousin family are pushing her to file for a divorce

a. would it be considered wickedness on her part considering, his not only the husband but PARTLY trained her in school too?

The marriage is less than a year no much money to even look for a seller, Aunty want to japa and leave the man

What do you think?

Marriage is not do or die...but remember we reap what we sow.

LillyVal:
My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the marriage because the husband was diagnosed of Kidney failure and needs a transplant. The summary of the story is that the family of the man is expecting the newly married wife to donate one of her kidney to the man because my cousin is biological match to the husband, she and her family has said LAI LIA O, that his their child and they should find a way to go about it. After dragging this issues for some months na, my cousin family are pushing her to file for a divorce

a. would it be considered wickedness on her part considering, his not only the husband but PARTLY trained her in school too?

The marriage is less than a year no much money to even look for a seller, Aunty want to japa and leave the man

What do you think?

your cousin bad luck not only wasted the man money but also after his life, the earlier he divorce your cousin the better solution for his recovery

gidob:

What are you even saying...after writing so much, you made no point

Your comment made me scroll up and read his own. I'm rotflmbao

truefood45:
it is a tradition of love where people believe marriage is for better for worse, if your cousin consider their request a threat, she should consider divorce, but she should mind the impart of divorce to the sick man, let her accept people who may call her wicked, and get what she want, solution is always available but is not known, her husband is cause of his own sickness and has continued to sustain it, sickness cannot grow in a body unless the body supported it, ignorance is not always enough to stop any sickness but knowledge can, try true food today, you can from there see the reason why many sickness become incurable, it is dilemma she either give it or she leave but knowledge can always save.

Omg

Cocotrendz:

You are mad

I Pray For u with all Ny Heart that you don't Run Mad!

yazga:
If it happened suddenly, she ought to make sacrifice but you can't force her. I believe he has siblings, let love ànd blood lead.

I love your comment in bold. Let love and blood lead. Tomorrow when the man makes his siblings his next of kin, they will say he doesn’t know what marriage is. Hypocrisy

ednut1:
if this story is true. this a pointer that true love is a scam. many people are in relationships for material or societal gains

But if he makes his siblings and parents his next of kin and not his wife, we go dey hear all sorts of things say the man no sabi wetin be marriage.

I have said it before, and I will say it again, love is a scam and marriage is an even bigger scam. No woman marries a man she will not gain from.

Belafonte:


But if he makes his siblings and parents his next of kin and not his wife, we go dey hear all sorts of things say the man no sabi wetin be marriage.

I have said it before, and I will say it again, love is a scam and marriage is an even bigger scam. No woman marries a man she will not gain from.

Oba stop being emotional. Marriage, love, relationships and everything in between are transactional. There must be a reason you want to be with a person, there must be a reason you love, there must be a reason you want them...Your reason is your consideration, once you shoot your shot and they agree(offer and acceptance), they must do so with a consideration attached. The moment you see this clearly, the easier it would be for you to manage every relationship.

By the way, consideration could be both material or immaterial. Who knows what the reasons for the parties herein had for this venture? Cheers...longest time

Acidosis:
I don't think it will attract any significant cost. About the process, it shouldn't be so difficult to obtain although I don't have the detail.

Alright. Thanks so much, I really appreciate.

LillyVal:
My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the marriage because the husband was diagnosed of Kidney failure and needs a transplant. The summary of the story is that the family of the man is expecting the newly married wife to donate one of her kidney to the man because my cousin is biological match to the husband, she and her family has said LAI LIA O, that his their child and they should find a way to go about it. After dragging this issues for some months na, my cousin family are pushing her to file for a divorce

a. would it be considered wickedness on her part considering, his not only the husband but PARTLY trained her in school too?

The marriage is less than a year no much money to even look for a seller, Aunty want to japa and leave the man

What do you think?

This is really a tough one, but one thing is certain, this is a sacrifice and sacrifices are not enforced on people. If she refuses to, maybe her commitment, conscience and morals might be questioned cos she took the marriage oat which says for better and for worse till death do them part but on the reality side, that actually hasn't stopped people from divorcing everyday. My verdict is; provided she can live with the outcome of whatever decision she makes, then she can carry on. In situations like this, its important one try to have a glimpse of the possible outcome and see if we could live with it.

Anyways how are you ?

Marriage is now a joke to many people

truefood45:
it is a tradition of love where people believe marriage is for better for worse, if your cousin consider their request a threat, she should consider divorce, but she should mind the impart of divorce to the sick man, let her accept people who may call her wicked, and get what she want, solution is always available but is not known, her husband is cause of his own sickness and has continued to sustain it, sickness cannot grow in a body unless the body supported it, ignorance is not always enough to stop any sickness but knowledge can, try true food today, you can from there see the reason why many sickness become incurable, it is dilemma she either give it or she leave but knowledge can always save.

This is pure wickedness and total selfishness

LillyVal:
My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the marriage because the husband was diagnosed of Kidney failure and needs a transplant. The summary of the story is that the family of the man is expecting the newly married wife to donate one of her kidney to the man because my cousin is biological match to the husband, she and her family has said LAI LIA O, that his their child and they should find a way to go about it. After dragging this issues for some months na, my cousin family are pushing her to file for a divorce

a. would it be considered wickedness on her part considering, his not only the husband but PARTLY trained her in school too?

The marriage is less than a year no much money to even look for a seller, Aunty want to japa and leave the man

What do you think?

transplant is not only the option
And even if he need a transplant he should go to India too many dona, it's cost 14m total package.

LillyVal:
My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the marriage because the husband was diagnosed of Kidney failure and needs a transplant. The summary of the story is that the family of the man is expecting the newly married wife to donate one of her kidney to the man because my cousin is biological match to the husband, she and her family has said LAI LIA O, that his their child and they should find a way to go about it. After dragging this issues for some months na, my cousin family are pushing her to file for a divorce

a. would it be considered wickedness on her part considering, his not only the husband but PARTLY trained her in school too?

The marriage is less than a year no much money to even look for a seller, Aunty want to japa and leave the man

What do you think?

Even if she donates the kidney.. The man cannot live more than 5years...its just opportunity for the man to come and set his records straight. Write will and arrange his estate. Nothing more, nothing less. I will advise her to stay with him althrough his dying days but not to donate her kidney.

gideonvalor98:
I think marriage is for better for worse but it seem that's not obtainable in this modern age...what a pity. Another thing is about what they share between eachother love,moments, good times, friendship...for the fact that the man contributed in her education says a lot. Finally, the ball is in her court , puting all these aforementioned in mind....what's will she decide? We all need to make some kind of sacrifices in one way or the other. Shalom!

Because he contributed partly or fully to her education doesn't mean she owes him her kidney, please. Nobody should ever be made to feel guilty if they chose not to be live or dead organ donors. Because you are family by blood to anyone doesn't mean you owe them any organ either.
Some people believe they should die and go back to God with all their innards/organs intact. Some have no such belief, but are afraid of the future as per they may also need a kidney back. Meanwhile some will give an eye or a kidney for certain amount of money
Organ donation is good, and a completely selfless act.
She should stay with her husband, support and look after him. That doesn't mean she should give him her kidneys. His family should also stop disturbing her

If the lady in question truly loves her husband, she will be glad that she is a match to help her husband live.
*
She won't need anyone to bag her to give u her kidney for her husband to live.

Her seeking for divorce at this point in time is somehow I tell u.

Still it's her choice. This should be q free will stuff, no one should force her.

funmisticqueen:
Let her do what she wants to do. It is not by force to give him her kidney
Also, isn't it difficult to carry a pregnancy with just one kidney in future?

Don't mind the men, as if, if they were the one they will give their kidneys.

Most Nigerians are so hypocritical .


For me? I ain't giving shit!

What kind of wedding present is that?

Alot of. Men will jakpa! They won't even divorce. They simply disappear into thing air, while their families will tell the ailing wife to go meet her own family, she can't come and destroy their son for them.

Is it not men again? And naija families?

Let's stop deceiving ourselves.

olushowunm:
Even if she donates the kidney.. The man cannot live more than 5years...its just opportunity for the man to come and set his records straight. Write will and arrange his estate. Nothing more, nothing less. I will advise her to stay with him althrough his dying days but not to donate her kidney.

God bless you, because the man will still not live long.

Why reduce her body to one kidney and the man still dies after some years?

She should stick by him but sorry no kidney. Let family and in-laws contribute money to buy a kidney from somewhere.

If the lady in question truly loves her husband, she will be glad that she is a match to help her husband live.
*
She won't need anyone to bag her to give u her kidney for her husband to live.

Her seeking for divorce at this point in time is somehow I tell u.

Still it's her choice. This should be a free will stuff, no one should force her.

Martinez39:
She will bear kids. If she doesn't want to give, it's her choice. The problem I have is people trying to make excuses for her and sweeping the fact that she doesn't love her husband under the carpet.

Only few marriages are based on love, since time immemorial.
I don't support divorcing her husband based on illhealth , but she doesn't owe him her kidneys

Do they have kids?
Was he paying all the bills?
Is he hardworking?

Even if all this is yes, I will still not advise her to donate her kidney - only she can decide that and if she does she should also know that giving him her kidney does not mean he cannot marry a 2nd wife or what not.

Chukapage:
look at this one that always screams "blue murder" on Ubunja threads see as you show yourself now. If Ubunja post his threads now YOU will start screaming "hate" hypocrites everywhere.mtchx

who is this bitter soul.

FYI, I no longer participate in the gutter that is Ubunja's thread, have other things on my mind than bitter red pill men with an entitlement, victim. mentality who has nothing to offer

yeyeosoronga:


Only few marriages are based on love, since time immemorial.
I don't support divorcing her husband based on illhealth , but she doesn't owe him her kidneys

In your need to simultaneously defend and make excuses for the woman and soothe your conscience, you wrote me something I had repeated over and over again. For the umpteenth time, she has the right not to give her kidney but the fact still remains that she doesn't love her husband because if she did, she will give the kidney. No two ways about it.

You yourself know that you can't love any man except for his resources not to talk of sacrificing for love so to soothe your conscience, knowing fully well that you are selfish and have no love for any man except his resources, you are defending the woman and leaving out the important truths. Let's be upfront, tell it as it is, and stop deceiving ourselves. Though she has the right to refuse giving him her kidney but it stands that she has no love for him. Insecurity is truly the weakness of a woman.

LillyVal:
My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the marriage because the husband was diagnosed of Kidney failure and needs a transplant. The summary of the story is that the family of the man is expecting the newly married wife to donate one of her kidney to the man because my cousin is biological match to the husband, she and her family has said LAI LIA O, that his their child and they should find a way to go about it. After dragging this issues for some months na, my cousin family are pushing her to file for a divorce

a. would it be considered wickedness on her part considering, his not only the husband but PARTLY trained her in school too?

The marriage is less than a year no much money to even look for a seller, Aunty want to japa and leave the man

What do you think?

Just reverse the story exactly the way you have said it. Your cousin is the woman and she made sacrifice by training the man and 2 months after marriage the husband wants a divorce because she needs kidney...lol oya tell us what you think

sisisioge:


Oba stop being emotional. Marriage, love, relationships and everything in between are transactional. There must be a reason you want to be with a person, there must be a reason you love, there must be a reason you want them...Your reason is your consideration, once you shoot your shot and they agree(offer and acceptance), they must do so with a consideration attached. The moment you see this clearly, the easier it would be for you to manage every relationship.

By the way, consideration could be both material or immaterial. Who knows what the reasons for the parties herein had for this venture?

Cheers...longest time

I’m well aware of the transactional nature of relationships, I do have a thread on the matter after all . I just find it a little interesting, how hypocritical people can be on the same matter. I’m not surprised the wife isn’t giving up her organs, I wouldn’t either. What surprises me is the fact that the general public that would condemn a man for saying he’d choose his mother over his wife is the same public saying he should go meet his parents or siblings. I pity men who still believe in love. . They don’t know what is going on.

Meanwhile, what’s up with Oba. That’s an interesting name. Care to enlighten?

LillyVal:
My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the marriage because the husband was diagnosed of Kidney failure and needs a transplant. The summary of the story is that the family of the man is expecting the newly married wife to donate one of her kidney to the man because my cousin is biological match to the husband, she and her family has said LAI LIA O, that his their child and they should find a way to go about it. After dragging this issues for some months na, my cousin family are pushing her to file for a divorce

a. would it be considered wickedness on her part considering, his not only the husband but PARTLY trained her in school too?

The marriage is less than a year no much money to even look for a seller, Aunty want to japa and leave the man

What do you think?

Osanobua where are you

Belafonte:


I’m well aware of the transactional nature of relationships, I do have a thread on the matter after all . I just find it a little interesting, how hypocritical people can be on the same matter. I’m not surprised the wife isn’t giving up her organs, I wouldn’t either. What surprises me is the fact that the general public that would condemn a man for saying he’d choose his mother over his wife is the same public saying he should go meet his parents or siblings. I pity men who still believe in love. . They don’t know what is going on.

Meanwhile, what’s up with Oba. That’s an interesting name. Care to enlighten?

Glad we are on the same page. But I still believe in love so long as parties have all their cards on the table.

How did you know the Oba is a name? What if I wanted to write Oga? Anyways, I know its the suffix before your name ...its cool though. Obaf...

Martinez39:
This is not guilt shaming. I am just stating facts and no one is forcing her. Fact is if she loves her husband, she would give her kidney. There is no love without sacrifice. There is no excuse as her tissue is compatible with her husband's and a human can live on one kidney with no problems. She doesn't love her husband and she does not want to give. If the genders were reversed, I would say the same thing. Let's be upfront and stop fooling ourselves with excuses. THE WOMAN DOES NOT LOVE HER HUSBAND. This fact can only be taken as guilt shaming by females who cannot love a man except when it suits them.

well, its very possible she loves her husband and still refuses to give her kidney same way men love their wives and still decide to have side chicks.

As they say "birds of a feather,flock together,until the cats come in". I will not advice what i cannot do, like i said earlier, i personally will not give my kidney to a man i have no child for ,married or not. Its a choice,my love nor reach there.

sisisioge:


Glad we are on the same page. But I still believe in love so long as parties have all their cards on the table.

How did you know the Oba is a name? What if I wanted to write Oga? Anyways, I know its the suffix before your name ...its cool though. Obaf...

I won’t say I still believe in love, but I do believe that you can have strong affection for someone and want and actively pursue the best for them. When I say I don’t believe in love, what I mean is I strongly believe everyone will revert to self preservation when sufficiently incentivized, if that makes sense. Cards may appear to be on the table, but na only God fit read thoughts and schemes.

This is getting weirder. Obaf? Okay, I need an explanation. This information is new to me. How did you come about this piece of info, if I may ask. Perhaps, you did intend to write Oga

Belafonte:


I won’t say I still believe in love, but I do believe that you can have strong affection for someone and want and actively pursue the best for them. When I say I don’t believe in love, what I mean is I strongly believe everyone will revert to self preservation when sufficiently incentivized, if that makes sense. Cards may appear to be on the table, but na only God fit read thoughts and schemes.

This is getting weirder. Obaf? Okay, I need an explanation. This information is new to me. How did you come about this piece of info, if I may ask. Perhaps, you did intend to write Oga

Oga then ....enjoy

sisisioge:





Oga then ....enjoy

So, what’s your real name?

Maybe I should ask in private