merit1988:
I got married as a young virgin...probably didnt understand what love was all about then....I've never really felt love or being loved in my marriage..coupled with some other marriage issues..I wear the shoes and I know where it hurts...all I need is advices on how to build my love life and not yabs pls...it's very hurtful

Sirvingeo:

Most virgin I know enjoy their marriage .

MrBrownJay1:
sadly...there is no way to build love where there isnt any foundation for love to grow... the foundation is messed up from the get go. dont believe the hype that people say that you can love someone irrespective of what you guys share/feel for one another, thats a damn LIE!

you should learn to respect this person, learn to stay positive about your not so great position, and do whats right with the choices you've made... but the reality is that love would NEVER cherish from such union.

merit1988:
I got married as a young virgin...probably didnt understand what love was all about then....I've never really felt love or being loved in my marriage..coupled with some other marriage issues..I wear the shoes and I know where it hurts...all I need is advices on how to build my love life and not yabs pls...it's very hurtful

merit1988:
I got married as a young virgin...probably didnt understand what love was all about then....I've never really felt love or being loved in my marriage..coupled with some other marriage issues..I wear the shoes and I know where it hurts...all I need is advices on how to build my love life and not yabs pls...it's very hurtful

J111333:
This is exactly why I can not marry a virgin or anyone under 25.

Marriage is a serious business so it requires trainings from father, brothers, male cousins, boyfriends, classmates, male co-workers etc. If a lady hasn't gotten to these stages, then she shouldn't be ready and available for marriage.

Marriage without love is as good as cohabitation, no marriage counsellor or pastor can change that.

You guys should sit down and have a long conversation and your decision should based on that, not on advice from nairaland.

Almaigaa:



This retired Olosho, stop whoring all over Nairaland, opening threads everyday, telling us how boring your marriage is. Do you think marriage is all bed of roses? Your phone numbers are all over dating section. But you are here claiming that your marriage lacks love. Which man will give love and attention to a wife that behaves the way you do?

Go home and love your husband alone. We are tired of seeing your threads.

merit1988:
thanks so much for ur insults.... I'm very grateful sir

klenton:



nice response dear, pls dont mind the idiot, some people's foundation are faulty from birth and since everybody can chat they vent thier frustrations all over the social media, some times its not thier fault as one cant give what he doesnt have.

merit1988:
infact,I was weak to my bones when I read it. Unfortunately,they won't understand my plight,no matter it insults....it is well

Atlanticfire:


You have opened multiple threads on this subject. It is somehow worrying.

Just note that there is no perfect marriage and there is no perfect partner. Everyone just tries to make the best out of their marriage.

You might think that you lack love in your marriage but the problem might be actually different. Are you sure that you are not depressed? Depression can make one feel unloved.

It might also mean that you are lonely, if you are lonely then get something challenging to do. You can take online courses or start a new business or learn a new skill, anything that will challenge you.

The idea is that you should try to find out what exactly is the problem. Speak to your husband about how you feel and both of you should try and figure out what the issue is. You will find it easier to solve the problem once you have been able to figure out what the real issue is.

The last piece of advice I will give to you is that you should not try to find solace outside your home or with friends or in alcohol, just calmly try to figure out the problem and resolve it

farady:
So OP, how did you meet him? What attracted you to him? What made you fall in love with him? If you can answer these questions then you closer to your answer.

merit1988:
I got married as a young virgin...probably didnt understand what love was all about then....I've never really felt love or being loved in my marriage..coupled with some other marriage issues..I wear the shoes and I know where it hurts...all I need is advices on how to build my love life and not yabs pls...it's very hurtful

merit1988:
thanks so much for ur insults.... I'm very grateful sir

Almaigaa:


No one insults you. But the truth will always hurt.

chigoizie7:

Brother please add experiences too. I mean women that have dated more than two or three men.

J111333:
This is exactly why I can not marry a virgin or anyone under 25.

GrossPrice:




You both suffer from low self-esteem and are seemingly unambitious.

You are like the married man, who still prefers promiscuous women and the likes when you have a wife at home.

Tell me what is the difference between a car with 0 miles on it, and another with 18K miles on it?
What is the difference between an American used dell laptop and a brand new dell laptop.

You probably live in a used house, drive a used car, own a used phone, and often procure used spare parts for repairs and maintenance.



It isn't a matter of low self esteem Mr.
Humans tends to value the good if they have experienced the bad.
Only few are able to value the good initially.
If a lady that have been in a bad relationship before and happens to get a good one will definitely value it.
Same logic applies to a guy.I F you haven't been in a relationship where all she thinks about is herself,you wont value the one who takes you as a priority.

They aren' t far fetched from the truth and it isn't an issue of low self esteem.Most wont value a good person if they haven't been with the bad one's .Even same applies to a man to.
We humans tend to adopt and correct our mistakes from our past failed relationship.Truth is most Ex made you a better person for your spouse.
Now you also want to add a used wife to your lot.

If you value the wisdom in the bible; See Proverbs 2 v.16-22

_{Wisdom will save you also from the adulterous woman,
from the wayward woman with her seductive words,
17
who has left the partner of her youth
and ignored the covenant she made before God.[a]
18
Surely her house leads down to death
and her paths to the spirits of the dead.
19
None who go to her return
or attain the paths of life.}

GrossPrice:




You both suffer from low self-esteem and are seemingly unambitious.

You are like the married man, who still prefers promiscuous women and the likes when you have a wife at home.

Tell me what is the difference between a car with 0 miles on it, and another with 18K miles on it?
What is the difference between an American used dell laptop and a brand new dell laptop.

You probably live in a used house, drive a used car, own a used phone, and often procure used spare parts for repairs and maintenance.

Now you also want to add a used wife to your lot.

If you value the wisdom in the bible; See Proverbs 2 v.16-22

_{Wisdom will save you also from the adulterous woman,
from the wayward woman with her seductive words,
17
who has left the partner of her youth
and ignored the covenant she made before God.[a]
18
Surely her house leads down to death
and her paths to the spirits of the dead.
19
None who go to her return
or attain the paths of life.}

merit1988:
I got married as a young virgin...probably didnt understand what love was all about then....I've never really felt love or being loved in my marriage..coupled with some other marriage issues..I wear the shoes and I know where it hurts...all I need is advices on how to build my love life and not yabs pls...it's very hurtful

otherway:


Was this not what a thread I just read was trying to address? Go and read that thread by toks2008.

Women are suppose to reason beyond the feeling of love when it comes to marriage and family.

If the man is responsible enough to be a husband and a dad just learn to respect him and with time, you will be alright.

merit1988:
thanks a lot

Toks2008:


I just saw my mention and I did a quick reading .

So how has it been of late? In marriage it is about your determination to stay in it and not really about feelings.

Don't worry, a time will come when you will love him So much. Do you have kids yet?

merit1988:
yes I hv kids... thanks so much

Toks2008:


Please for the sake of your kids just remain in your marriage as long as he is not abusing you physically.

MrBrownJay1:


- dont you think that the kids will be negatively affected if/when they see daddy and mummy insult and disrespect one another (in so many ways)?
- dont you think that it is wrong to raise children in such manner?
- dont you think that its wrong for children to believe that its ok for parents to have no respect for one another?
- dont you think thats its wrong to stay in these miserable unions?
- how can any bitter/miserable person in such union be a good parent?