Good evening everyone. Please I need your advice.

My husband has been keeping malice with me because I don't pray regularly again (we're Muslims) and he's threatening to divorce me (we only did court wedding and yet to do Nikkah).

He's eats my food but doesn't talk to me. This has been going on for over a year now and it's getting worse. Can I tell his parents? They are strong Muslims and I'm afraid they may blame me more. He also doesn't give me money anymore. I'm tired of his stinginess and he's very insensitive. He believes I'm a devil since I don't pray even though things have changed for the better for him since we met.

He also doesn't believe I can get a husband since I'm close to 35. Please, I'm confused. I don't know what to do.

Try adjusting woman or are you fighting God?

Abeg begin to kabash in his house o.. I duno if you muslims speak in tongues but please start so he will notice...shebi he wants prayers, he will get tired....

cricifixo:
Try adjusting woman or are you fighting God?

I'm not fighting God. I'm not used to praying 5 times daily before we met and he knows. I think he's only using it as an excuse. Is it enough reason to.want.a.divorce?

Cutehector:
Abeg begin to kabash in his house o.. I duno if you muslims speak in tongues but please start so he will notice...shebi he wants prayers, he will get tired....

We don't speak in tongues. I find it difficult because I fell ill for more than 6 months at a time and picking up again has been difficult. My prayers aren't always complete right from time and he knows.

I want wider views and opinions please. @Mynd44, @Lalasticlala. Kindly move to front page please. I need help.

Then leave na...must u tell us? Nonsense

If you are tired of being a Muslim why not denounce the faith and move on with your life?

Or don't you know that your attitude towards prayer will in a way draw him back too?

Madam abeg carry your cross

Pray without ceasing...u dont know when u will pray everlasting happiness into ur home.

My only issue here is that he's not talking to you but still eating your food.
Does that man like his life at all...

arinpe16:


We don't speak in tongues. I find it difficult because I fell ill for more than 6 months at a time and picking up again has been difficult. My prayers aren't always complete right from time and he knew

Hmmm... so he asks you everyday how many times you prayed? How many times does he pray and at what times? Do you people live and work together that you are around each other 24/7? Na Muslim girls and northerners de remarry pass. You all can marry as 2nd, 3rd or 4th wives. So that 35yr old threat no follow. Do you have kids?

Try and pray five times a day, with time you'll get used to it. My husband also complains about my non praying regularly so I'm trying to adjust. It's not easy but achievable.

arinpe16:
Good evening everyone. Please I need your advice.

My husband has been keeping malice with me because I don't pray regularly again (we're Muslims) and he's threatening to divorce me (we only did court wedding and yet to do Nikkah).

He's eats my food but doesn't talk to me. This has been going on for over a year now and it's getting worse. Can I tell his parents? They are strong Muslims and I'm afraid they may blame me more. He also doesn't give me money anymore. I'm tired of his stinginess and he's very insensitive. He believes I'm a devil since I don't pray even though things have changed for the better for him since we met.

He also doesn't believe I can get a husband since I'm close to 35. Please, I'm confused. I don't know what to do.

improve your praying habit, and also make sure you have regularly income just incase. that you will never get a husband because you are almost 35 is just a psychological threat after marriage is suppose to be a union and not some form of prison or slavery

arinpe16:
Good evening everyone. Please I need your advice.

My husband has been keeping malice with me because I don't pray regularly again (we're Muslims) and he's threatening to divorce me (we only did court wedding and yet to do Nikkah).

He's eats my food but doesn't talk to me. This has been going on for over a year now and it's getting worse. Can I tell his parents? They are strong Muslims and I'm afraid they may blame me more. He also doesn't give me money anymore. I'm tired of his stinginess and he's very insensitive. He believes I'm a devil since I don't pray even though things have changed for the better for him since we met.

He also doesn't believe I can get a husband since I'm close to 35. Please, I'm confused. I don't know what to do.

I need to be blunt with you since you asked for my advice

You are not wise at all.
Look at the reason you are giving, that you are not praying regularly

Praying to God is a test of humility. A great man once said, "if I want to humble a man, I ask him how long he prays"
It simply means you are full of pride and very disobedient wife. You are even considering your marketability when you eventually leaves his house.
If things continue like this let me tell you what will happen, he will definitely throw you out of his life, not only his house and he will get a better lady and live happily ever after and you may also get a another husband who will also throw you out after some time. Why? Simple. It is because you will display your rotten character.


My advice if you really want to make things work
Be humble to your husband, respect and obey him. It is not to much to pray even if it is 100times daily. Any woman that humbles herself and respect her husband especially if the man is Godly, will always find favour with him. In fact such men will go out of their ways to satisfy and make her happy but if you don't respect him forget about getting any dime from him.
You have wasted so much time, start the amendment today. Thank God he had not told his parent.

A word is enough for the wise

dominique:
Try and pray five times a day, with time you'll get used to it. My husband also complains about my non praying regularly so I'm trying to adjust. It's not easy but achievable.

Are you a Muslim?

Try to adjust
Its not a big deal. Na

He wants you be a Muslim by act and deed, you mentioned that you were not used to praying five times daily and he knows. I bet he has shown you example severally by observing the five daily salat but you still don't get the memo hence his forceful way of ensuring you observe your salat daily. It won't hurt you if you do that, especially if that's what will bring him back to you for now, you will get used to it.
I bet if it's about you wearing skimpy dresses, going down on your knees to pray over a cheating partner, you would do them with ease.

when u said he eats your food i got a lot of mixed feelings. pls which food exactly? the one he eats before he eat or the one he eats after he eat

crackhaus:
My only issue here is that he's not talking to you but still eating your food.
Does that man like his life at all...

Lolz
.. sarcasm!

Lolz... nairaland lately z getting interesting!






May God touch the heart of your husband and restores peace in your home!

arinpe16:
Good evening everyone. Please I need your advice.

My husband has been keeping malice with me because I don't pray regularly again (we're Muslims) and he's threatening to divorce me (we only did court wedding and yet to do Nikkah).

He's eats my food but doesn't talk to me. This has been going on for over a year now and it's getting worse. Can I tell his parents? They are strong Muslims and I'm afraid they may blame me more. He also doesn't give me money anymore. I'm tired of his stinginess and he's very insensitive. He believes I'm a devil since I don't pray even though things have changed for the better for him since we met.

He also doesn't believe I can get a husband since I'm close to 35. Please, I'm confused. I don't know what to do.

He will not divorce you,He just want you to get serious with your prayers by using any means available since you have been very lazy about it.Get used to your prayers and in no time you will get stuck and be used to it.may Allah help you amin

You have the right to live the way you want provided you aren't infringing on anyone's rights or breaking the law of the country.

You can get a man of your choice even at 35 years of age.

Your husband seems to be one of these extremists who forces their beliefs down the throats of others.

You deserve happiness.

@baby124, He prays regularly and we have kids.
@pharmagba Did you read the post at all? He's the one telling me that I'm not marketable again. As per obedience and humility, don't judge please. You do not know me.
He doesn't set good example for me. He will pray, eat my food, have sex with me and still keep malice with me? Is that what the Qur'an says about religion? We've been together for 5 years and he didn't see it as a big deal. Why is it now that everything good is coming his way, he suddenly start seeing me as being a devil, not marketable and what not.
So, I'll have to pray for him to love me and do his right? Just imagine. He can't even correct me without threatening me with divorce. Is being divorced a disease?

As long as I never wish him bad and I'm trying, he should know I'll get there, but it takes time. So, i ask again, is divorce the answer?

.

its a religion of pretense my dear! (NB: i didnt mention any religion ooo!)

just join in the circus - pretend to pray even seven times - that is if u like the idiot husband u have.

if u dont like him pls be the one to ask for divorce!

even at 40 you can still get a better usban!

you said he doesnt give you money anymore and yet he still eats your food - abeg where then do u get the money to cook for him?

how many shildren u get self?

arinpe16:
Good evening everyone. Please I need your advice.

My husband has been keeping malice with me because I don't pray regularly again (we're Muslims) and he's threatening to divorce me (we only did court wedding and yet to do Nikkah).

He's eats my food but doesn't talk to me. This has been going on for over a year now and it's getting worse. Can I tell his parents? They are strong Muslims and I'm afraid they may blame me more. He also doesn't give me money anymore. I'm tired of his stinginess and he's very insensitive. He believes I'm a devil since I don't pray even though things have changed for the better for him since we met.

He also doesn't believe I can get a husband since I'm close to 35. Please, I'm confused. I don't know what to do.

arinpe16:
@baby124, He prays regularly and we have kids.
@pharmagba Did you read the post at all? He's the one telling me that I'm not marketable again. As per obedience and humility, don't judge please. You do not know me.
He doesn't set good example for me. He will pray, eat my food, have sex with me and still keep malice with me? Is that what the Qur'an says about religion? We've been together for 5 years and he didn't see it as a big deal. Why is it now that everything good is coming his way, he suddenly start seeing me as being a devil, not marketable and what not.
So, I'll have to pray for him to love me and do his right? Just imagine. He can't even correct me without threatening me with divorce. Is being divorced a disease?

As long as I never wish him bad and I'm trying, he should know I'll get there, but it takes time. So, i ask again, is divorce the answer?

Divorce is not the answer, but join him when he is saying his own prayers. Leave whatever you're doing and join him. Ask him to always call you when it's time for prayers.
It's a different thing if you don't believe in the faith anymore, bit if you do there's no big deal in praying. When he's not there to ask you to pray, let him phone you to remind you.
This isn't even an issue at all, unless there's something else behind it o.
As per telling you nobody will marry you again after 35, it's just the way men try to console themselves that they're the all in all for their women. It's childish, but only few are matured enough.

I think your husband is just finding excuses to be stingy with you. He’s worried about your not praying daily, he doesn’t drop money yet he comes back, eats your food, keeps malice and wants a divorce. Now is he truly practicing what he “preaches” or is keeping malice one of the tenets of your religion?

I won’t say you shouldn’t pray but why act in pretense if it won’t come from the heart. Praying to God is a personal thing, not because you want to please any man on earth. And BTW, you will easily get married again even if he divorces you. There are several men out there looking for suitable women like yourself.

arinpe16:
@baby124, He prays regularly and we have kids.
@pharmagba Did you read the post at all? He's the one telling me that I'm not marketable again. As per obedience and humility, don't judge please. You do not know me.
He doesn't set good example for me. He will pray, eat my food, have sex with me and still keep malice with me? Is that what the Qur'an says about religion? We've been together for 5 years and he didn't see it as a big deal. Why is it now that everything good is coming his way, he suddenly start seeing me as being a devil, not marketable and what not.
So, I'll have to pray for him to love me and do his right? Just imagine. He can't even correct me without threatening me with divorce. Is being divorced a disease?

As long as I never wish him bad and I'm trying, he should know I'll get there, but it takes time. So, i ask again, is divorce the answer?

Please pardon me if I have been tough on you.
I read very well.
You told us your only 'offence is not praying'.which to me is a minor issue and you can ajust if you so which for peace and unity.

If you truly want a sound advice put all the cards bare on the table.
Please give answers to this question
Are you respecting him?
Apart from the prayer what are the main thing he is always complaining of?
What are the bad examples he is setting apart from malice?
In what ways have you tried to make peace? What are is response?
When he threaten you with divorce, what was your response?
Do you ever really loved him or was it a marriage by pity?
Do you still love him?
What are the things you hate most about him?
What are the things you hate in your marriage?
Is an old lover coming back into your life?
Do you feel you've reached a point and you want to quit?

If you can sincerely answer these questions, then I may advise from a more informed standpoint.

In Marriage You compromise sometimes.Yes.If it is not harmful and wont change ur name.
You can start by joining him in prayers,gradually You pick up.
I pray more with someone than alone

Though he isnt right to threaten You with divorce.
Theres nothing worth arguing here.
Ma,choose ur battle wisely.

My candid advice

U self try
I know it's not easy but try
Nothing like a praying wife
Even if he didn't meet U, life would still be beautiful for him.
Just try
I don't think I'd want to marry a woman who doesn't pray also.
Just tryyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Bros wants to marry another wife?? maybe

Try praying the 5 times and explain to him you are doing your best

He shuldnt be threatening divorce for this tho but try to conform also while teling him with love that you are doing your best

arinpe16:
@baby124, He prays regularly and we have kids.
@pharmagba Did you read the post at all? He's the one telling me that I'm not marketable again. As per obedience and humility, don't judge please. You do not know me.
He doesn't set good example for me. He will pray, eat my food, have sex with me and still keep malice with me? Is that what the Qur'an says about religion? We've been together for 5 years and he didn't see it as a big deal. Why is it now that everything good is coming his way, he suddenly start seeing me as being a devil, not marketable and what not.
So, I'll have to pray for him to love me and do his right? Just imagine. He can't even correct me without threatening me with divorce. Is being divorced a disease?

As long as I never wish him bad and I'm trying, he should know I'll get there, but it takes time. So, i ask again, is divorce the answer?

But really think of it...do you mean if an extended family member inquires of you regarding the instability of your marriage, you won't even be ashamed to announce that it's because you don't pray regularly?

Are you sure you're a devout Muslim?

If he said to leave his house, please do. Get yourself a room elsewhere. Leave my house no be leave this world