Gforce2015:


Marriage don't work with this your formula...
In marriage there are flexibility ...

arinpe16:
Good evening everyone. Please I need your advice.

My husband has been keeping malice with me because I don't pray regularly again (we're Muslims) and he's threatening to divorce me (we only did court wedding and yet to do Nikkah).

He's eats my food but doesn't talk to me. This has been going on for over a year now and it's getting worse. Can I tell his parents? They are strong Muslims and I'm afraid they may blame me more. He also doesn't give me money anymore. I'm tired of his stinginess and he's very insensitive. He believes I'm a devil since I don't pray even though things have changed for the better for him since we met.

He also doesn't believe I can get a husband since I'm close to 35. Please, I'm confused. I don't know what to do.

arinpe16:
Good evening everyone. Please I need your advice.

My husband has been keeping malice with me because I don't pray regularly again (we're Muslims) and he's threatening to divorce me (we only did court wedding and yet to do Nikkah).

He's eats my food but doesn't talk to me. This has been going on for over a year now and it's getting worse. Can I tell his parents? They are strong Muslims and I'm afraid they may blame me more. He also doesn't give me money anymore. I'm tired of his stinginess and he's very insensitive. He believes I'm a devil since I don't pray even though things have changed for the better for him since we met.

He also doesn't believe I can get a husband since I'm close to 35. Please, I'm confused. I don't know what to do.

baby124:

Praying 5 times a day is no joke. Even Christians that are mandated to pray just once sef, a lot of us don’t pray. OP is a moderate Muslim who married a conc Muslim. This is the root of the problem. The husband knew this before marriage but believes her could make her pray more. I am honestly tired of people trying to force others to change.

He accepted her as a moderate Muslim and married her, he really should not be blaming her. Rather he should be coaxing her back into a regular prayer life by example and praying as a family. In my own family my father was the prayer warrior and not my mother. But when he called for family prayer or prayer during certain occasions we must respect and join him in prayer.

There is no mandate on one spouse being the prayer warrior. Where one is weak, the other has to try their best to fill in the gap until they come to an understanding. Not by insults and threats that can do permanent damage to the marriage. She will never forget what he said and how he treated her you know?

pharmagba:

I need to be blunt with you since you asked for my advice

You are not wise at all.
Look at the reason you are giving, that you are not praying regularly

Praying to God is a test of humility. A great man once said, "if I want to humble a man, I ask him how long he prays"
It simply means you are full of pride and very disobedient wife. You are even considering your marketability when you eventually leaves his house.
If things continue like this let me tell you what will happen, he will definitely throw you out of his life, not only his house and he will get a better lady and live happily ever after and you may also get a another husband who will also throw you out after some time. Why? Simple. It is because you will display your rotten character.


My advice if you really want to make things work
Be humble to your husband, respect and obey him. It is not to much to pray even if it is 100times daily. Any woman that humbles herself and respect her husband especially if the man is Godly, will always find favour with him. In fact such men will go out of their ways to satisfy and make her happy but if you don't respect him forget about getting any dime from him.
You have wasted so much time, start the amendment today. Thank God he had not told his parent.

A word is enough for the wise

pharmagba:

I need to be blunt with you since you asked for my advice

You are not wise at all.
Look at the reason you are giving, that you are not praying regularly

Praying to God is a test of humility. A great man once said, "if I want to humble a man, I ask him how long he prays"
It simply means you are full of pride and very disobedient wife. You are even considering your marketability when you eventually leaves his house.
If things continue like this let me tell you what will happen, he will definitely throw you out of his life, not only his house and he will get a better lady and live happily ever after and you may also get a another husband who will also throw you out after some time. Why? Simple. It is because you will display your rotten character.


My advice if you really want to make things work
Be humble to your husband, respect and obey him. It is not to much to pray even if it is 100times daily. Any woman that humbles herself and respect her husband especially if the man is Godly, will always find favour with him. In fact such men will go out of their ways to satisfy and make her happy but if you don't respect him forget about getting any dime from him.
You have wasted so much time, start the amendment today. Thank God he had not told his parent.

A word is enough for the wise

kestolove95:
Then leave na...must u tell us? Nonsense

arinpe16:
@baby124, He prays regularly and we have kids.
@pharmagba Did you read the post at all? He's the one telling me that I'm not marketable again. As per obedience and humility, don't judge please. You do not know me.
He doesn't set good example for me. He will pray, eat my food, have sex with me and still keep malice with me? Is that what the Qur'an says about religion? We've been together for 5 years and he didn't see it as a big deal. Why is it now that everything good is coming his way, he suddenly start seeing me as being a devil, not marketable and what not.
So, I'll have to pray for him to love me and do his right? Just imagine. He can't even correct me without threatening me with divorce. Is being divorced a disease?

As long as I never wish him bad and I'm trying, he should know I'll get there, but it takes time. So, i ask again, is divorce the answer?

arinpe16:
Good evening everyone. Please I need your advice.

My husband has been keeping malice with me because I don't pray regularly again (we're Muslims) and he's threatening to divorce me (we only did court wedding and yet to do Nikkah).

He's eats my food but doesn't talk to me. This has been going on for over a year now and it's getting worse. Can I tell his parents? They are strong Muslims and I'm afraid they may blame me more. He also doesn't give me money anymore. I'm tired of his stinginess and he's very insensitive. He believes I'm a devil since I don't pray even though things have changed for the better for him since we met.

He also doesn't believe I can get a husband since I'm close to 35. Please, I'm confused. I don't know what to do.

pharmagba:

Please pardon me if I have been tough on you.
I read very well.
You told us your only 'offence is not praying'.which to me is a minor issue and you can ajust if you so which for peace and unity.

If you truly want a sound advice put all the cards bare on the table.
Please give answers to this question
Are you respecting him?
Apart from the prayer what are the main thing he is always complaining of?
What are the bad examples he is setting apart from malice?
In what ways have you tried to make peace? What are is response?
When he threaten you with divorce, what was your response?
Do you ever really loved him or was it a marriage by pity?
Do you still love him?
What are the things you hate most about him?
What are the things you hate in your marriage?
Is an old lover coming back into your life?
Do you feel you've reached a point and you want to quit?

If you can sincerely answer these questions, then I may advise from a more informed standpoint.

MisterGrace:
You have the right to live the way you want provided you aren't infringing on anyone's rights or breaking the law of the country.

You can get a man of your choice even at 35 years of age.

Your husband seems to be one of these extremists who forces their beliefs down the throats of others.

You deserve happiness.

realoscar84:
Nonsense. You aren't ready to observe ur daily obligatory salat n u decided to marry a Muslim. Do you know how it hurt for a Muslim hubby to find out his wife does not observe salat regularly? Ur attitude is even a liability for him in regard to his faith as a Muslim. I severe my last relationship with my lady cuz she was born n brought up a Muslim but she get to Portharcourt n she got swayed by the lifestyle of her friends who are mostly Christian. I discovered she was gonna be my headache in trying to teach her Islam of which wasn't too enthusiastic about anymore. I no get day strength, I kukuma free her jejely. I no ft shout.

arinpe16:


We don't speak in tongues. I find it difficult because I fell ill for more than 6 months at a time and picking up again has been difficult. My prayers aren't always complete right from time and he knows.

I want wider views and opinions please. @Mynd44, @Lalasticlala. Kindly move to front page please. I need help.