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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My Husband Said I Should Leave His Home (52087 Views)
Son Tells Mum To Leave His Home To Create Space For Girlfriend With 2kids (vid) / My Husband Said He Will Raise My Kids To Challenge Me And Be Rude To Me. / My Husband Always Tells Me To Leave His House During Quarrel (2) (3) (4)
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Re: My Husband Said I Should Leave His Home by baby124: 12:58am On Nov 10, 2019 |
Sukueponmalu:I have Muslim family members so talk about your own family. My Muslim side of the family is filled with moderate Muslims who do NOT pray 5 times daily. 2 Likes |
Re: My Husband Said I Should Leave His Home by OLUJOSHINS(m): 1:02am On Nov 10, 2019 |
arinpe16: But Y is this so difficult naa If he wants a prayerful wife, pls be a prayerful wife Abi U just want to be a-bit stubborn (no offense) Pls adopt a prayerful lifestyle so as to save your marriage The idea of moving in with him without doing Nikkah probably gave him the impression that you don't really care about religion Pls start with the daily prayers like a good wife & initiate discussions about the customary marry(when the coast is clear) 4 Likes |
Re: My Husband Said I Should Leave His Home by Enemyofpeace: 1:03am On Nov 10, 2019 |
madridguy:she was not saying the prayers 5 times when they met, he knew that and still went ahead to marry her because he was enjoying her pussssssy then, he overlooked it then, so he should overlook it now too, abi her pussssssy no sweet again? I don't think so, because him still dey fok the babe ![]() ![]() 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Said I Should Leave His Home by generationz(f): 1:04am On Nov 10, 2019 |
arinpe16: It seems like you lean more to being the free thinking side while your husband is one who's anchor is in religion. When you get to really understand people you'll really not blame him or yourself for your choices. It's unfortunate you didn't meet someone more like you. I know people like your husband ( that's if he doesn't have an ulterior motive) They are so scared to think outside the box of anything that is concrete ( their religious beliefs handed down by religious that) that they are willing to deal with loved ones, kill and destroy to people (Boko haram extremists) to protect what they have received and belief to be try knowledge. It has its advantage in that they have a firm grip of reality but its disadvantage is that they can't see beyond black and white. Their only grasp is on reality, written words, rules etc It's not their fault its just a fear of the unknown. You have three options: 1. Leave the marriage and live you life as freely as possible. 2. Start pretending and do the five prayers. Although, it's going to be very hard if you are someone who can hold a personal opinion different from what the crowd is saying without guilt. When you are not standing by what you want within you you feel empty. 3. Hope something, someone or some strange miraculous event unfolds and changes his way of reasoning that paying 10 times daily doesn't mean you are a saint and he is able to see you for you and not love you less because you have different ideas and beliefs on how prayer works. Peace. 3 Likes |
Re: My Husband Said I Should Leave His Home by Mindm431: 1:06am On Nov 10, 2019 |
My own view from your excuse is that you are nothing but a lier and I am very sorry if am offending you at the moment but I believe you want my advise so please accept any of my insults. 1. I believe you are seeing another man behind your husband because I don't know where you see the money you always use to cook the food your husband always eat because you never state in your excuse that you work and it sound to me as if you are a full house wife. 2. I believe you are one of his house help/maid that he got impregnated by mistake because how can someone that never give or drop any money for you to prepare food in the house or even care how you eat or how you see the money to plated your hair or even money to buy your cream and all that come back from work or wherever he is coming from and order you to go and sleep on the bed that he want to have sex with you. 3. What is hard in you praying to God? So even if there is no husband troubling you to pray so you think if not good to pray regularly or you want to tell me you don't know the kind of person he is before you got married to him or you want to tell me you don't know that marriage is another lesson or institution for you or anybody and even for men, we are all going to learn your marriage in any ways because it is a life time contract. I am 1000% sure that you are hiding lots of things that you are not making clear to us and if you can't inform his family about the issue on ground you can't inform your own family or do you think if he eventually sends you out of his house do you think both families will not hear about all that has been going on since from A-Z ? My last advise for you is this my sister. I am not judging you and I want you to believe me for that but I believe you are a big fool because this your problem should have been taken to his and your family before you even thought of posting it here so you believe we all wiser than you do ? Hahaha believe me that is a joke I will never advise you to divorce your husband because guys are what God himself has join together. Okay? Sorry if you don't like my advise but please try to talk to him and get people who you know that can talk to him and settle things and stop broadcasting your problems my sister because this particular one is what you can solve with your husband amicably because I believe it's still within your reach/power. ![]() 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Said I Should Leave His Home by madridguy(m): 1:06am On Nov 10, 2019 |
The man still loves her reason he still chop her food, still climb her. So she should follow his instruction by praying 5 times daily. Enemyofpeace: 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Said I Should Leave His Home by arinpe16: 1:11am On Nov 10, 2019 |
Thank you everyone. I've gone through the thread and I must say that I really appreciate the criticisms, judgements, insults, abuse and all. For those that asked, he drops money for feeding alone ( sorry I didn't mention that) so, I had to cook for him. I also work and contribute to the home (to all those saying I'm dependent on a man's money at my age. Lol) Reading through the comments has just proven to me that we have a problem in this country. How can you openly disregard another person's religion just because you weren't born in it. I'm a sociologist and I was made to understand that everything we are today is as a result of our culture. Can we just stop fighting because of religion? It's very annoying. If you were born a Muslim, you'll practice Islamic religion and if you were born a Christian, you'll go to church. Although, you can decide to change when you grow up. To our brothers and sisters in Islam, we're sometimes our enemy. We often believe we're perfect because we observe the 5 daily prayers but this is far from the truth. Once you do not use hijab or follow a doctrine, you become a devil. To my Christian brothers and sisters, you see your wife as a devil once she doesn't pray from morning till night. We have a very big problem in this country and religion is one of it. We claim to be Christians and Muslims yet, we do not love ourselves. I know praying 5 times daily is compulsory in Islam and I'll adjust and take it one step at a time (nobody can force me. I'm an adult). Then again, what if I pray and my intentions are devilish? People don't care about intentions, all they know how to do best is "eye-service" Awon pretenders oshi!!! Praying is very necessary but you can't force it on anyone. It has to come from the heart and the person has to be ready for it. As for my husband, he's reading this thread too because I had to show him. We're still reading through and laughing together here. I believe we're fine and religion can not tear us apart. I saw some PMs, I'm sorry I won't reply. I'll have to deactivate now because I'm a regular user of this forum. Some people on this forum are bitter (according to my husband) and they're happy destroying homes. We'll work it together. Thanks for the advices. 11 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Husband Said I Should Leave His Home by Emyogalanya: 1:12am On Nov 10, 2019 |
He Eats your food yet he does not give you money? Can you please Reconcile the two statements? arinpe16:seems you are Emotionaly inSecure as a woman or did you hug-lee? And i find no where in your post where you claimed he ask you to leave his home as your topic says. Anyway your tone shows you are an educated moderate muslim from Oduduwa ( ask ffk ) |
Re: My Husband Said I Should Leave His Home by charleoj(m): 1:12am On Nov 10, 2019 |
Madam, just negodu abeg. What your husband is asking for is not too much. Abi is not good to pray as a Muslim? Let me ask you this " were you not a Muslim before getting married? Or are the non praying Muslim type?. Abi you be Christian before. Even if you were a Christian before, you should know what you are doing before you decided to marry him or probably have the talk before marriage. Besides, prayers is a good thing unless you are an atheist. Ohh you were desperate. Let me tell you, prayers does more good than not praying. If he wants you to be fanatic, that's different. What harm will prayers do to you? Madam pray abeg. Your husband loves you |
Re: My Husband Said I Should Leave His Home by Enemyofpeace: 1:16am On Nov 10, 2019 |
madridguy:why did he go ahead to marry her when she was not saying the prayers 5 times daily? He got carried away by her sweet pusssssssy and ringtones ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Re: My Husband Said I Should Leave His Home by Nobody: 1:18am On Nov 10, 2019 |
MisterGrace:The wisest so far. People cannot leave their lives again the way they want all in the name of marriage. Madam, so long as you are not disturbing the peace of anyone, pls, live your life. Rubbish religious bigots |
Re: My Husband Said I Should Leave His Home by Enemyofpeace: 1:19am On Nov 10, 2019 |
arinpe16:you didn't go through mine o. I said I sell snipper, original one that even the smell alone go do the needful, in case you need some, you know some men can be stubborn ![]() ![]() |
Re: My Husband Said I Should Leave His Home by OgogoroFreak(m): 1:23am On Nov 10, 2019 |
Then leave his home. It's that simple. |
Re: My Husband Said I Should Leave His Home by Emyogalanya: 1:31am On Nov 10, 2019 |
arinpe16:are you shouting at us? You sought for Advice and we gave. Seems this is the real message you wanted to pass across to Nigerians. It seems you know the answer to what you asked so why did you come to border us? 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Said I Should Leave His Home by ad84ada(m): 1:33am On Nov 10, 2019 |
![]() crackhaus: 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Said I Should Leave His Home by Nobody: 1:34am On Nov 10, 2019 |
Re: My Husband Said I Should Leave His Home by Nobody: 1:36am On Nov 10, 2019 |
As some contributor here opined that this is a cooked up story to keep the nairaland family busy, it might be but this thing does happen in reality. I Am a Muslim man - married to a non-regular in worship Muslim woman like the OP. A situation like this is really a painful one for a husband because a woman is expected to be the best role model she can be for the children. It is a fact that in most cases children use most times with their mother than with the father. A non-worshipping wife will surely raise non-worshipping children. OP you need to take your solat serious for your husband, children, and your own sake. The Quran clearly states that the only difference between a Muslim and a non-muslim is the solat. You really need to work on yourself very well enter into Islam wholeheartedly to have peace with yourself and in your home. Do not give your husband a reason for a divorce or to take another wife. The aftermath is usually not pleasant. 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Said I Should Leave His Home by DbeststarVictor1(m): 1:38am On Nov 10, 2019 |
as you hate prayers that is how you're inviting devil in your life |
Re: My Husband Said I Should Leave His Home by rafcrown(m): 1:41am On Nov 10, 2019 |
How can you have peace if you don't pray.Ask him for list of what you have done wrong and make corrections. Solve this problem instead of competing with younger single ladies. 3 Likes |
Re: My Husband Said I Should Leave His Home by baby124: 1:43am On Nov 10, 2019 |
rajowski:Not true. Children get their emotional needs from their mother and most times sef they see their mother finish. They learn most of their values from their fathers. Trust me, children don’t take their mother’s as seriously as their dads. Their mothers are loved and are expected to accept them the children as they are unconditionally. Fathers must be present to pass on whatever values they want to pass to their children, especially their boys. This is why this world is haywire because you think it is the woman’s job alone. It’s more the man’s job actually. 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Said I Should Leave His Home by Lucasbalo(m): 1:53am On Nov 10, 2019 |
crackhaus:Good question you asked. Why would he eat her food but wouldn't talk to her. That's the mystery right there. 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Said I Should Leave His Home by Oreofepeters: 1:57am On Nov 10, 2019 |
kestolove95:it's obviously you are dumb. Can't you advise without hurling an insult? Try and be matured for once na 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: My Husband Said I Should Leave His Home by aumeehn: 2:00am On Nov 10, 2019 |
arinpe16:You are very stupid and a useless Woman. Are you sure you are a Muslim or Just pretending to be one?? I can see People advising you to pretend while at the same time practicing their own religion. Let me tell you the bitter truth with this attitude of yours you will never be happy in this world. Better turn to Allah and enjoy the favours that comes with it. Shaitan is playing ping pong with your life. @35 you don't pray regularly and you are not ashamed about it says a lot about your upbringing. besides @35 no one will ever come your way especially if he find out that you are a pretender. Hmmm Firaun will be Chilling in hell compared to you. Repent Madam and start praying. That's my only advice for you. 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Said I Should Leave His Home by aumeehn: 2:07am On Nov 10, 2019 |
arinpe16:Useless Evening newspaper you are lying your husband is reading and laughing at nothing. clearly you are not a Muslim but a pretender. And yes as a Muslim you will be forced to pray if u won't then convert!! simple as ABC and besides we Muslims are not each others enemies you are your own worst enemy! 3 Likes |
Re: My Husband Said I Should Leave His Home by planetx: 2:11am On Nov 10, 2019 |
When did NL turn to relationship advice blog. |
Re: My Husband Said I Should Leave His Home by aspiring44: 2:18am On Nov 10, 2019 |
arinpe16: If perhaps you are thinking of changing your religion to another it could have been better , but you still want to be called a muslim is another . Whatever you do to yourself is your business . Praying does not kill , rather it cleanses you, and strengthen you the more . " You won't know the gravity of your prayers until they are answered" God is ever happy when we exalt His name , shower praises on Him . At the same time , our subconscious also matters because some pray and within them they commit more evil than those that does not pray at all. So , what is the essence of prayers? Observing your salat at all times is a good one for you . Its for your own good.and the more you do that the better for you and the family at large. God sees everyone and knows what goes in our hearts., but by the time one gets so fanatical like your husband is doing by keeping malice with you is also not a good example . Moreover, how do you pass and teach good attributes to your children . You wouldn't like your children to disobey when they didn't pray , you will definitely scold them , the more reason a woman is referred to as a bastion of the home A good woman in a society is like a light to the world. Be of good behavior and your prayer shall translate to better things 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Said I Should Leave His Home by olugabbie(m): 2:18am On Nov 10, 2019 |
I believe, your husband should help you improve on your praying habit and not condemn you, if he really loves you. I don't think that man loves/cares about you. No one is perfect. Especially in a marriage, we are supposed to help each other grow and not condemn each other for our imperfections.. Even if you start doing what he wants. He may find another excuse and continue being mean to you. If you know that your husband really loves you. You can stay in the marriage. Otherwise flee. You still have 5years before you reach menopause. The earlier the better. |
Re: My Husband Said I Should Leave His Home by naturefellow(m): 2:21am On Nov 10, 2019 |
crackhaus:he's not practicing total abstinence. He's not serious ![]() 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Said I Should Leave His Home by baby124: 2:30am On Nov 10, 2019 |
aumeehn:See devout muslim. Hahahaha. I am sure you pray 5times daily and think you are better than the OP! ![]() ![]() 4 Likes |
Re: My Husband Said I Should Leave His Home by Lanruze: 2:33am On Nov 10, 2019 |
This response by you has shown a clue why he behaves the way he does ! Please note that your husband is Muslim and has the right to marry more than one wife. The ball is in your court ! You sound like an Alpha female and your husband an Alpha male. Please step down a bit and reduce your ego ! His request for you to be more religious and the fact that he still eats your food means that he still loves you. All the thought of divorce on your path should be erased. Divorce is the worst thing a human being can experience, worse than rape ! No party goes unhurt. Give yourself a timeline, become more religious. Start reading the Koran more, buy relationship books and litter your family with renewed show of committment to make things work. The number need of a man is "Respect" then he'll reciprocate with love. He keeps malice for long cos that's his own negative way of communicating displeasure. Don't allow it linger. Marriage is hardworking !!! If things don't change after all this seek a marriage counselor very sure he will speak his mind to such person. Be wise Woman.... After serving him food kneel down...treat him like a king and watch the way he will start following suit like a baby. The relationship is just getting fatigued...nothing much... Stylishly cajole him to do a nikkai wedding....He will respect you more. @baby124, He prays regularly and we have kids. @pharmagba Did you read the post at all? He's the one telling me that I'm not marketable again. As per obedience and humility, don't judge please. You do not know me. He doesn't set good example for me. He will pray, eat my food, have sex with me and still keep malice with me? Is that what the Qur'an says about religion? We've been together for 5 years and he didn't see it as a big deal. Why is it now that everything good is coming his way, he suddenly start seeing me as being a devil, not marketable and what not. So, I'll have to pray for him to love me and do his right? Just imagine. He can't even correct me without threatening me with divorce. Is being divorced a disease? As long as I never wish him bad and I'm trying, he should know I'll get there, but it takes time. So, i ask again, is divorce the answer? [/quote] |
Re: My Husband Said I Should Leave His Home by aumeehn: 2:40am On Nov 10, 2019 |
baby124:Yes I pray 5 times daily. and I told her nothing but the truth! I used to have same problem with the OP. but I made up my mind to establish regular prayers in no time I got used to it. Islam is not all about emotions or doing what pleases you. Islam is all about Quran Sharia and the Sunna of Prophet (S.A.W) 2 Likes |
Re: My Husband Said I Should Leave His Home by baby124: 2:41am On Nov 10, 2019 |
aumeehn:Lol. Ok o. But you should ask for forgiveness from the OP for insulting her with such vile words when you claim you are a devout Muslim. |
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