aumeehn:
Yes I pray 5 times daily. and I told her nothing but the truth! I used to have same problem with the OP. but I made up my mind to establish regular prayers in no time I got used to it. Islam is not all about emotions or doing what pleases you. Islam is all about Quran Sharia and the Sunna of Prophet (S.A.W)

Is it why you abused and insulted her? Couldnt you tell her that without all those bad words?

So for your mind you think Allah has rewarded you for abusing somebody? Dont you think you have rubbished your night prayer with that thing you wrote?

You are just driving people further away from Islam with your behaviour. How can insulting somebody for their age make them pray?

Is that what the Qur'an told you to do?

baby124:

Lol. Ok o. But you should ask for forgiveness from the OP for insulting her with such vile words when you claim you are a devout Muslim.

I feel like slapping sense into her head! if she is tired of the religion she can convert and be free! she is not even remorseful smh! besides I did nothing wrong I just told her the bitter truth. had been she's ready to change I will gladly help her with prayers that will change her life for Good.

How do you have sex if you don't talk? Sign language?

arinpe16:


I'm not fighting God. I'm not used to praying 5 times daily before we met and he knows. I think he's only using it as an excuse. Is it enough reason to.want.a.divorce?

as an excuse for what. what do you think are his real or hidden motives, or reasons for wanting to get rid of you if that is one of his motives

midnighter:


Is it why you abused and insulted her? Couldnt you tell her that without all those bad words?

So for your mind you think Allah has rewarded you for abusing somebody? Dont you think you have rubbished your night prayer with that thing you wrote?

You are just driving people further away from Islam with your behaviour. How can insulting somebody for their age make them pray?

Is that what the Qur'an told you to do?

Lol I rubbished nothing. and i didn't said Allah has rewarded me for my comments. Look I'm not driving anybody away from Islam. the only difference between a Muslim and Ahlil Kitab is prayers. As far as I am concerned she is not a Muslim. Her last post said it all! At @35 nothing can change her mindset except if she is ready to change.

aumeehn:
Lol I rubbished nothing. and i didn't said Allah has rewarded me for my comments.

You who prays 5 times a day and talks like a rabid hyena are no better than OP that doesnt pray.

You cant even advise somebody who is going through a crisis. What kind of Islam are you practising?

midnighter:


You who prays 5 times a day and talks like a rabid hyena are no better than OP that doesnt pray.

You cant even advise somebody who is going through a crisis. What kind of Islam are you practising?

Lol crisis my foot! besides I didn't said I'm in anyway better than her! It's 3am dear i'm done here!

aumeehn:
Lol I rubbished nothing. and i didn't said Allah has rewarded me for my comments. Look I'm not driving anybody away from Islam. the only difference between a Muslim and Ahlil Kitab is prayers. As far as I am concerned she is not a Muslim. Her last post said it all! At @35 nothing can change her mindset except if she is ready to change.

There are plenty of differences between ahl il kitab and muslims, of which praying is just one...

Her lack of praying hasnt turned her into a Christian or Jew so I dont see your point.

You cant tell somebody they are not a Muslim. You just finished cursing somebody back into the 3rd century, does it mean you are no longer a Muslim?

Stop mentioning 35 as if she is a lost cause. What about hardened criminals who convert when they are 60?

If you dont want to comment just leave it! I cannot see any "noor" in anything you are writing.

aumeehn:
Lol crisis my foot! besides I didn't said I'm in anyway better than her! It's 3am dear i'm done here!

Good! And you'll wake up to pray Fajr and go on to abuse more people. Well done!

arinpe16:
@baby124, He prays regularly and we have kids.
@pharmagba Did you read the post at all? He's the one telling me that I'm not marketable again. As per obedience and humility, don't judge please. You do not know me.
He doesn't set good example for me. He will pray, eat my food, have sex with me and still keep malice with me? Is that what the Qur'an says about religion? We've been together for 5 years and he didn't see it as a big deal. Why is it now that everything good is coming his way, he suddenly start seeing me as being a devil, not marketable and what not.
So, I'll have to pray for him to love me and do his right? Just imagine. He can't even correct me without threatening me with divorce. Is being divorced a disease?

As long as I never wish him bad and I'm trying, he should know I'll get there, but it takes time. So, i ask again, is divorce the answer?

Woman you claimed obedient common command from God that your man trying to remained you to do.your husband is you class teacher on earth , imaging you took your kids to they failed to do class works and home works while other kids were doing there how will you feel? My didn't pray when I meet her but now she does midnight prayers than me now and i don't needs to asked her if she has pray again.concerns more money coming in for him did you get him contracts or collections? So don't complained na him dough he determine you eat out it

midnighter:


Good! And you'll wake up to pray Fajr and then abuse more people! Well done!

This is the time when Allah answers prayers and I'm already on it! you can also try and be praying especially by 3am every day. Besides I didn't insult her. I told her the pure unadulterated truth!

arinpe16:
@baby124, He prays regularly and we have kids.
@pharmagba Did you read the post at all? He's the one telling me that I'm not marketable again. As per obedience and humility, don't judge please. You do not know me.
He doesn't set good example for me. He will pray, eat my food, have sex with me and still keep malice with me? Is that what the Qur'an says about religion? We've been together for 5 years and he didn't see it as a big deal. Why is it now that everything good is coming his way, he suddenly start seeing me as being a devil, not marketable and what not.
So, I'll have to pray for him to love me and do his right? Just imagine. He can't even correct me without threatening me with divorce. Is being divorced a disease?

As long as I never wish him bad and I'm trying, he should know I'll get there, but it takes time. So, i ask again, is divorce the answer?

Yes

I don't know if you guys read where she said the man changed as things started getting better for him

It means he want to get another wife
That's the simple truth

aumeehn:
This is the time when Allah answers prayers and I'm already on it! you can also try and be praying especially by 3am every day. Besides I didn't insult her. I told her the pure unadulterated truth!

Lol hahahaha

Please just tell me, is it part of the Sunnah tradition to insult people? I want to know

I mean did Prophet Mohammad pbuh actually instruct you to call people stupid and useless? Thats just the point of this conversation

Jasen1:
I don't know if you guys read where she said the man changed as things started getting better for him

It means he want to get another wife
That's the simple truth

A Muslim man doesn't need to divorce his first wife to marry a second. Except, he has plans of marrying 4 other women

Jasen1:
I don't know if you guys read where she said the man changed as things started getting better for him

It means he want to get another wife
That's the simple truth

She said theyve been going for 5 years, that things have improved since they met

How could he want another wife as soon as he met her?

arinpe16:
Thank you everyone. I've gone through the thread and I must say that I really appreciate the criticisms, judgements, insults, abuse and all. For those that asked, he drops money for feeding alone ( sorry I didn't mention that) so, I had to cook for him. I also work and contribute to the home (to all those saying I'm dependent on a man's money at my age. Lol)

Reading through the comments has just proven to me that we have a problem in this country. How can you openly disregard another person's religion just because you weren't born in it. I'm a sociologist and I was made to understand that everything we are today is as a result of our culture.

Can we just stop fighting because of religion? It's very annoying. If you were born a Muslim, you'll practice Islamic religion and if you were born a Christian, you'll go to church. Although, you can decide to change when you grow up.

To our brothers and sisters in Islam, we're sometimes our enemy. We often believe we're perfect because we observe the 5 daily prayers but this is far from the truth. Once you do not use hijab or follow a doctrine, you become a devil.

To my Christian brothers and sisters, you see your wife as a devil once she doesn't pray from morning till night. We have a very big problem in this country and religion is one of it. We claim to be Christians and Muslims yet, we do not love ourselves.

I know praying 5 times daily is compulsory in Islam and I'll adjust and take it one step at a time (nobody can force me. I'm an adult). Then again, what if I pray and my intentions are devilish? People don't care about intentions, all they know how to do best is "eye-service"
Awon pretenders oshi!!!

Praying is very necessary but you can't force it on anyone. It has to come from the heart and the person has to be ready for it.

As for my husband, he's reading this thread too because I had to show him. We're still reading through and laughing together here. I believe we're fine and religion can not tear us apart.

I saw some PMs, I'm sorry I won't reply. I'll have to deactivate now because I'm a regular user of this forum.

Some people on this forum are bitter (according to my husband) and they're happy destroying homes. We'll work it together. Thanks for the advices.

Lol... You are a funny human being...

arinpe16:
Good evening everyone. Please I need your advice.

My husband has been keeping malice with me because I don't pray regularly again (we're Muslims) and he's threatening to divorce me (we only did court wedding and yet to do Nikkah).

He's eats my food but doesn't talk to me. This has been going on for over a year now and it's getting worse. Can I tell his parents? They are strong Muslims and I'm afraid they may blame me more. He also doesn't give me money anymore. I'm tired of his stinginess and he's very insensitive. He believes I'm a devil since I don't pray even though things have changed for the better for him since we met.

He also doesn't believe I can get a husband since I'm close to 35. Please, I'm confused. I don't know what to do.

You know what to do, you are just not willing to do it!
You know what will make your husband happy, do it and things will change! He want you to be a good Muslim, be one and the family will be happy. The solution is not reporting him, the solution is doing what will make him happy with you

Enemyofpeace:
why did he go ahead to marry her when she was not saying the prayers 5 times daily? He got carried away by her sweet pusssssssy and ringtones . It's too late to change her jo. If he doesn't want to marry her again, he must return all her pussssssssy that he fokd and all her breasts that he sucked, with all the ringtones she gave from day one till the last day. Remember Islam hates cheating

So she didn't Bleep him too? Y'all foolishly thinks sex is enjoyed only by men? Like say no be woman like am pass? Mtcheww

ahnie:
Lolz... nairaland lately z getting interesting!

May God touch the heart of your husband and restores peace in your home!

Hear dis one.. getting interesting with what exactly? BB9JA and the likes? Rubbish! How many educative stuff do we see on here than dis nonsense?

midnighter:


She said theyve been going for 5 years, that things have improved since they met

How could he want another wife as soon as he met her?

She said that they've been together for the past 5 years that her husband didn't see her not praying as any issues why the sudden change now that things started working well for better for him

The answer is
He is seeing another lady (another wife loading)

Cutehector:
Abeg begin to kabash in his house o.. I duno if you muslims speak in tongues but please start so he will notice...shebi he wants prayers, he will get tired....

I dont know why I find this really funny ( the kabashing part).

arinpe16:
@baby124, He prays regularly and we have kids.
@pharmagba Did you read the post at all? He's the one telling me that I'm not marketable again. As per obedience and humility, don't judge please. You do not know me.
He doesn't set good example for me. He will pray, eat my food, have sex with me and still keep malice with me? Is that what the Qur'an says about religion? We've been together for 5 years and he didn't see it as a big deal. Why is it now that everything good is coming his way, he suddenly start seeing me as being a devil, not marketable and what not.
So, I'll have to pray for him to love me and do his right? Just imagine. He can't even correct me without threatening me with divorce. Is being divorced a disease?

As long as I never wish him bad and I'm trying, he should know I'll get there, but it takes time. So, i ask again, is divorce the answer?

My sister, you have received enlightenment. You have been free from the hypnotism and mind control of religion and want to asset your dignity and freedom as a human being. Religion is a mind control tool to keep you perpetually a slave to others.

The redded quote gets me very angry. He eats your food and have sex with you but still keeps malice with you. That's sadistic. All with the excuse of you don't pray enough. Is he God?

What happens if you refuse him sex, will he rape you or throw you out of the house?

Anyway, you have to realised, you are highly disadvantaged here, because you have kids. He will abandon the children if you dare leave him, and the children will suffer, except of course you make enough money to house, feed and educate them.

That's why I always frown at ladies who feels, their whole existence must depend on a man, and once married, they will not work again for the rest of your life. That's is very precarious position to be.

You cannot assert any degree of freedom or independence without some degree of financial independence, so you have to either get a job or start a business. He can decide to throw you put any minute or take a second wife.

You also need to inform your family what's going on. You family can ask him of his grouse with you. If it's only prayers, then that's easy to accommodate. You can do eye service and form Sister Mary (or sister Mariam) whenever he is around. Most Christians and Muslims pretend anyway. They say in one thing in public and do another when no one is looking. But, if there are other issues, then you have to start preparing for an eventual separation.

pharmagba:

Please pardon me if I have been tough on you.
I read very well.
You told us your only 'offence is not praying'.which to me is a minor issue and you can ajust if you so which for peace and unity.

If you truly want a sound advice put all the cards bare on the table.
Please give answers to this question
Are you respecting him?
Apart from the prayer what are the main thing he is always complaining of?
What are the bad examples he is setting apart from malice?
In what ways have you tried to make peace? What are is response?
When he threaten you with divorce, what was your response?
Do you ever really loved him or was it a marriage by pity?
Do you still love him?
What are the things you hate most about him?
What are the things you hate in your marriage?
Is an old lover coming back into your life?
Do you feel you've reached a point and you want to quit?

If you can sincerely answer these questions, then I may advise from a more informed standpoint.

That woman didn't sound obedient and respectful with her response you just quoted over there.
She only come here to seek support and pity from her type. God will guide all of us.

Divorce is fine. Breaking up is fine. Starting over is fine. Moving on is fine. Being alone is fine. What is not fine is staying somewhere you are not appreciated and valued!��

kestolove95:
Then leave na...must u tell us? Nonsense

Haba Wawa mutum must u comment
If u don't know the best advice to give keep ur mouth shut
Don't come here and make her feel like she is stupid
People like u won't even make a good home

arinpe16:


I'm not fighting God. I'm not used to praying 5 times daily before we met and he knows. I think he's only using it as an excuse. Is it enough reason to.want.a.divorce?

Are you purposely writing so that Islam and Muslims can be insulted on a public forum.
If truly what you're saying is real, then start praying. A prayerful home overcome all evil.

Mandyvicky:


Haba Wawa mutum must u comment
If u don't know the best advice to give keep ur mouth shut
Don't come here and make her feel like she is stupid
People like u won't even make a good home

You and the OP are yeye..
Everybody wants a prayerful home and a prayerful partner.

were u d one that provided the food, is only arrogant and disloyalty woman that have this to say, from ur point is like u already set ur mind somewhere as at 35 u still consider ur self to marry and remarry, simply cos u cannot pray. shame on u.

arinpe16:
@baby124, He prays regularly and we have kids.
@pharmagba Did you read the post at all? He's the one telling me that I'm not marketable again. As per obedience and humility, don't judge please. You do not know me.
He doesn't set good example for me. He will pray, eat my food, have sex with me and still keep malice with me? Is that what the Qur'an says about religion? We've been together for 5 years and he didn't see it as a big deal. Why is it now that everything good is coming his way, he suddenly start seeing me as being a devil, not marketable and what not.
So, I'll have to pray for him to love me and do his right? Just imagine. He can't even correct me without threatening me with divorce. Is being divorced a disease?

As long as I never wish him bad and I'm trying, he should know I'll get there, but it takes time. So, i ask again, is divorce the answer?

That's why the Hausa's have problem with Yoruba Muslims, please try that shiit in Hausa home, I am sure you will by now be typing this rubbish in your father's home. You have kids yet you're not praying so tell me what kind of example are you setting for them.
If God decided to test you, what will you do? Run to Alfa, one baba or a prophet for solution abi.
Lazy 35yo.
Start praying OK.

wirinet:


My sister, you have received enlightenment. You have been free from the hypnotism and mind control of religion and want to asset your dignity and freedom as a human being. Religion is a mind control tool to keep you perpetually a slave to others.

The redded quote gets me very angry. He eats your food and have sex with you but still keeps malice with you. That's sadistic. All with the excuse of you don't pray enough. Is he God?

What happens if you refuse him sex, will he rape you or throw you out of the house?

Anyway, you have to realised, you are highly disadvantaged here, because you have kids. He will abandon the children if you dare leave him, and the children will suffer, except of course you make enough money to house, feed and educate them.

That's why I always frown at ladies who feels, their whole existence must depend on a man, and once married, they will not work again for the rest of your life. That's is very precarious position to be.

You cannot assert any degree of freedom or independence without some degree of financial independence, so you have to either get a job or start a business. He can decide to throw you put any minute or take a second wife.

You also need to inform your family what's going on. You family can ask him of his grouse with you. If it's only prayers, then that's easy to accommodate. You can do eye service and form Sister Mary (or sister Mariam) whenever he is around. Most Christians and Muslims pretend anyway. They say in one thing in public and do another when no one is looking. But, if there are other issues, then you have to start preparing for an eventual separation.

If the OP follows your advice she's bound to end up going from frying pan to fire. Muslims pray 5 times daily because it is commanded by the Almighty not their husband or wife. The fact that the man eats her food and still lays with her shows that he's not after marrying another wife rather he wants her to change. The OP already said he comes from a strong muslim household, this goes to show you where his orientation comes from, a woman with kids will surely influence her kids. The man is thinking about the bigger picture but most women being the emotional creatures that they are can only see the present. Think about it, why would a woman come on Nairaland asking for advice just because her man told her to start acting like a real Muslim? Why would you watch your man keep malice for a whole YEAR and still refuse to adjust? Is she trying to prove stubborness or that she can't obey him? Religion or no religion, one's character cannot be hidden for too long!

Obason22:
were u d one that provided the food, is only arrogant and disloyalty woman that have this to say, from ur point is like u already set ur mind somewhere as at 35 u still consider ur self to marry and remarry, simply cos u cannot pray. shame on u.

Don't mind the mumu old cargo.
She will go and marry a married man or a widower na.
Women and stupidity.... "He will eat my food"