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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / If A Man Must Have Car, House And Job Before Marriage, What Must A Woman Have? (2920 Views)
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If A Man Must Have Car, House And Job Before Marriage, What Must A Woman Have? by yenereal(m): 10:55am On Dec 02, 2019 |
It is a joyous thing to behold and great feeling of ecstasy when one gets married. However, some certain things do prevent guys from getting married apart from getting to find the right person to marry. Some girls say a man must have everything (job, car(s), house and money) before they get married. My question is: if a man must have car, house and job before marriage, what must a woman have before marriage? Mods push to FP please. Cc Lalasticlala, mynd44.
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Re: If A Man Must Have Car, House And Job Before Marriage, What Must A Woman Have? by donstan18: 11:08am On Dec 02, 2019 |
Virginity. Her virginity must be intact. That's what a lady must have to grant her the qualifications of choosing the kind of man she wants. You have no right as a non-virgin lady to set standard for the kind of man you want. 9 Likes |
Re: If A Man Must Have Car, House And Job Before Marriage, What Must A Woman Have? by Sabicleaners: 11:10am On Dec 02, 2019 |
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Re: If A Man Must Have Car, House And Job Before Marriage, What Must A Woman Have? by Nobody: 11:45am On Dec 02, 2019 |
A guy must have a car and house? If people were to abide by that "principle", then many marriages would not have worked out. Indeed, every man on earth has been decreed to have a certain amount of provision of which no man shall fall short of nor exceed. This should however not be misunderstood to mean the amount of work a man does will not matter in how much provision he gets. only someone who doesn't understand "decree" reasons like that. The decree of God comprises of two main things: His will for each human being of which that human has no control. Examples of this is someone who God wills to be born in a rich family. Such people are born rich and live to enjoy a lot of provision. Did they have any power in this? No! rather it was totally God's will for them. The secondly, the actions and efforts that mankind take of which the result of such efforts will be subject to the will of God which He wills according to His divine wisdom. This is the part where humans have some control because we make efforts in this case but the end or result of such efforts depend on His will. That's why you see that in some cases, some people make efforts towards a certain goal and they make it while some other people make efforts towards the same goal but do not make it (Example: Visa, Admission e.t.c). God is the one who wills where those efforts of man will lead judging from His divine wisdom. So each man has his decreed provision and it is something that is clear that there are millions of people and there have been millions of people who have not been decreed to be capable enough to own a car and a house. Should we then consider that those people should not marry? You see, marriage is not all about fun and having a good time and enjoying all pleasures of life. In fact, life itself is not like that. If many people had understood this, Perhaps they wouldn't set the silly standards they set for their potential spouses. God created man and he created a woman from his rib so that she can be a support for him, so that he can fulfil his pleasure and desire in her and she can also do in him, so that they can help and support each other in their daily endeavours and challenges and so that mankind may multiply. These are the purposes of marriage and to achieve these, then what's required is that all members of the marriage/family should have their BASIC needs met that would be enough to enable them carry out their BASIC duties in the marriage/family. So since God has made man the major provider for the family (women too can support of course), what is rather required is that the man should have ENOUGH to cater for a FAMILY and meet the needs of the members of the family on a REASONABLE basis. If God then decrees, that they should have excess, they should consider it as a bounty from God and enjoy from it in a manner that will not cause them to sin against God and of course, help other people with it. Because money, as much as it can be a blessing, it can also be a test. |
Re: If A Man Must Have Car, House And Job Before Marriage, What Must A Woman Have? by Nobody: 11:45am On Dec 02, 2019 |
donstan18: I agree with you to some extent, but to a larger extent, I disagree with you bro. Virginity? Is it not that thing that it has been proven that it can be lost by virtue of other things aside sex like exercise or accident? Is it in today's world where we hear many stories of how many girls are being raped and molested? In a world where many parents do not take care of or look after children and this has exposed the girls to the trials and evils of those men who take advantage of women out there? In a world where many people were born into families and environment that has deterred them from having the proper orientation concerning how much of value a woman keeping her virginity is? Is it in a world when we humans live - the same weak humans whom the devil has managed to influence many of us into making mistakes we have always regretted and wished we never did? Virginity should not necessarily be a yardstick to determine the kind of woman that should set standards for a spouse because it can be lost in ways in which the girl had little or no control. Even if the girl had control, it still remains so Wait a second, what exactly is the beauty of marrying a virgin except for the sweetness and the satisfaction that arises from realising that no man has touched her before you? Is virginity the factor that determines the character of a woman or will determine how much of a good wife and good mother she will be? After the first night, when you break her virginity, will she not then become like the other women who have had theirs broken before marriage? Indeed, the character and personage of a woman is far more important that virginity. It's her character that will determine how well she can perform wifely duties, how much of a good wife and mother she will be, how much of a good home she will make, how much of happiness and peace of mind she will give you as her husband, how less of worries you will experience in that marriage and other important and major benefits a man seeks to experience in marriage. Virginity has little or nothing to do with all that while character and virtuousness has a lot to do. Look around you and observe or ask questions or do research and you will see how many women out there of whom they were married as virgins cause their husbands worries and troubles of different sorts. I'm not saying this to justify sex before marriage oo. I've always been an advocate against it. But I want you to understand that virginity does little in the making of a good wife. And I want you to understand that the present is what matters and not the past. There have been people in this world who were amongst the worst of creatures but their lives were turned around and they became the best of people. And conversely, there were some that were good but turned so worse. What matters is the present brother. As long as the non virgin lady has kept her misdeeds in the past and is now a virtuous woman at present, then she should be entitled to that chance of setting standards in a man of whom she hopes would complement and help her improve on her present character and virtuousness. my piece! 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: If A Man Must Have Car, House And Job Before Marriage, What Must A Woman Have? by ImaIma1(f): 1:40pm On Dec 02, 2019 |
OladimejiRufai: You finish work! While virginity is admirable and good to maintain till marriage, it is not as important as a good character and a wife that gives her husband piece of mind and support. 1 Like |
Re: If A Man Must Have Car, House And Job Before Marriage, What Must A Woman Have? by crackhaus: 1:43pm On Dec 02, 2019 |
donstan18: ![]() 8 Likes |
Re: If A Man Must Have Car, House And Job Before Marriage, What Must A Woman Have? by crackhaus: 1:45pm On Dec 02, 2019 |
ImaIma1:So what must a woman have? Only good character? ![]() 1 Like |
Re: If A Man Must Have Car, House And Job Before Marriage, What Must A Woman Have? by ImaIma1(f): 2:02pm On Dec 02, 2019 |
crackhaus: I guess you didn't see "support" there. Or you saw it but you don't know what it means. 1 Like |
Re: If A Man Must Have Car, House And Job Before Marriage, What Must A Woman Have? by bukatyne(f): 2:24pm On Dec 02, 2019 |
yenereal: Depends what the man she wants to marry deems important. Your OP just lists the wants/needs of a set of women. |
Re: If A Man Must Have Car, House And Job Before Marriage, What Must A Woman Have? by crackhaus: 3:35pm On Dec 02, 2019 |
ImaIma1:Oh I did, but my above human intelligence tells me it's a good character that brings about a supportive personality - and even on this, the concept of this support is still very vague. Are you implying that the 'support' a man will get from a woman is different or more special from the one he already gets from the friends he's known for say 15/20yrs, or from the family he's known all his life? ![]() 5 Likes |
Re: If A Man Must Have Car, House And Job Before Marriage, What Must A Woman Have? by crackhaus: 3:45pm On Dec 02, 2019 |
bukatyne:Bukatyne, generally speaking, what should a woman have before marriage? I fancy questions like this because it is such a proof of a woman's inherently inferior nature (due to her own perception of herself), and it is exactly why a lot of women will keep receiving the short end of the stick in every society on earth. This thread can get to 50pages and I bet NL women will not list anything different from good character, support, etc - it will always be intangible things, never anything of substance. It's embarrassing. 4 Likes |
Re: If A Man Must Have Car, House And Job Before Marriage, What Must A Woman Have? by donstan18: 3:46pm On Dec 02, 2019 |
crackhaus:No female Nairalander alive can answer this question correctly with good explanations. E too sure me like shoki. 4 Likes 1 Share
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Re: If A Man Must Have Car, House And Job Before Marriage, What Must A Woman Have? by ImaIma1(f): 3:47pm On Dec 02, 2019 |
crackhaus: Then he should marry his friends or his family ![]() 2 Likes |
Re: If A Man Must Have Car, House And Job Before Marriage, What Must A Woman Have? by sacx: 3:50pm On Dec 02, 2019 |
ImaIma1: |
Re: If A Man Must Have Car, House And Job Before Marriage, What Must A Woman Have? by Nobody: 3:56pm On Dec 02, 2019 |
crackhaus:Sometimes yes. U see a thread where a woman and her bridal train were on wheechairs, look at the pictures very well. That guy is in it because of the money. She brings in the money and connections. His friends and family couldn't do that for him. He even look hungry As far as Abuja is concerned, guys do Wed because of the support he can get o. I attended 2. U guys always make it look like women bring nothing to the table. Left to me, they should not bring anything. Leaving my family to go and answer your name,give birth to kids that bears your surname is more than all other support combined. Some of the guys will realize u are evening newspaper after setting them up. 1 Like |
Re: If A Man Must Have Car, House And Job Before Marriage, What Must A Woman Have? by ImaIma1(f): 3:57pm On Dec 02, 2019 |
[quote author=sacx post=84558451][/quote] Ok. I have noticed you. As you were! 1 Like |
Re: If A Man Must Have Car, House And Job Before Marriage, What Must A Woman Have? by crackhaus: 3:57pm On Dec 02, 2019 |
ImaIma1:Yeah, as if I didn't already see this textbook response coming a thousand miles away. ![]() Now you understand that the reason why a man probably needs to marry a woman is ONLY to have legal access to puccci, legal kids too, since he can't get any of these from family/friends. No need to get upset though because this is just what you implied by that short unsurprising response. I only interpreted it for everyone to see the kind of mindset most of your kind have, not like most of us aren't already aware. ![]() 6 Likes 1 Share |
Re: If A Man Must Have Car, House And Job Before Marriage, What Must A Woman Have? by ImaIma1(f): 4:01pm On Dec 02, 2019 |
crackhaus: As you grow older, you will understand better the reason for marriage. But for now, just bother your head with other things that you have knowledge about 2 Likes |
Re: If A Man Must Have Car, House And Job Before Marriage, What Must A Woman Have? by crackhaus: 4:02pm On Dec 02, 2019 |
donstan18:I am not even holding my breath until I see them give answers, because I will just end up killing myself from suffocation. 4 Likes |
Re: If A Man Must Have Car, House And Job Before Marriage, What Must A Woman Have? by crackhaus: 4:06pm On Dec 02, 2019 |
ImaIma1:Tell that to Oprah Winfrey, she's twice your age and will have very good answers to the questions you are still struggling to answer. ![]() When you've been depending on men all your life, it will be very hard to have anything else than good character & 'support'. 6 Likes |
Re: If A Man Must Have Car, House And Job Before Marriage, What Must A Woman Have? by ImaIma1(f): 4:11pm On Dec 02, 2019 |
crackhaus: I thought you were smart. Smart people don't jump into baseless conclusions. Why not go ask Oprah the questions then? Why bothering with me? 2 Likes |
Re: If A Man Must Have Car, House And Job Before Marriage, What Must A Woman Have? by sacx: 4:13pm On Dec 02, 2019 |
ImaIma1: |
Re: If A Man Must Have Car, House And Job Before Marriage, What Must A Woman Have? by crackhaus: 4:17pm On Dec 02, 2019 |
sassysure:You're using the exceptional cases of men marrying a woman because of the financial support they can get from her? ![]() Okay then, in these cases the man is providing her with his good character, peace of mind, and 'support'. E still balance now abi? ![]() Left to me, they should not bring anything. Leaving my family to go and answer your name,give birth to kids that bears your surname is more than all other support combined.See this is why you are one of the few ladies here I still fancy - you dey talk truth. Although the question was what you should have before marriage, not what happens after it. But you try. So I guess this means you are of the belief that a woman MUST bear her husband's surname with no argument whatsoever. ![]() 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: If A Man Must Have Car, House And Job Before Marriage, What Must A Woman Have? by crackhaus: 4:21pm On Dec 02, 2019 |
ImaIma1:Na wah oo. Didn't you already say it was ONLY good character and support you had to offer before you got married? ![]() If you had something else, talk na before accusing me of jumping into anything. Lmao... ![]() 4 Likes |
Re: If A Man Must Have Car, House And Job Before Marriage, What Must A Woman Have? by CHoccolaTE: 4:25pm On Dec 02, 2019 |
For heavens sake what type of question is this thread asking? Society and religions determine gender roles in marriage. When you have the bible saying women should submit and be home builders while men who can't provide are called infidels what on earth do you think people will subsequently regard as their roles in marriage? Gender roles are even stricter and more defined in islam where a woman can divorce a man for failing to provide for her and a man can beat his wife for not submitting or pleasing him. Of course women in such societies will look for men who can provide because they see it as what God ordained while men look for obedient submissive housebuilding women. I dont know why a lot of men like being willfully ignorant. Buharis economy is hard and you want financial support from women its known but make una sofri dey deceive yourselves. 2 Likes |
Re: If A Man Must Have Car, House And Job Before Marriage, What Must A Woman Have? by healthserve(m): 4:27pm On Dec 02, 2019 |
CHoccolaTE: Yawns. We know your kinds. My words are priceless. I won't waste them on you |
Re: If A Man Must Have Car, House And Job Before Marriage, What Must A Woman Have? by bukatyne(f): 4:32pm On Dec 02, 2019 |
crackhaus: It still depends on the man she wants to marry. A sound mind, good housekeeping skills, resourcefulness, ability to earn, ability to learn, ability to decorate and beautify ideas, good morals, self-love and healthy self-esteem, ability to care for her body etc. etc. |
Re: If A Man Must Have Car, House And Job Before Marriage, What Must A Woman Have? by ImaIma1(f): 4:34pm On Dec 02, 2019 |
crackhaus: "...it is not as important as a good character and a wife that gives her husband piece of mind and support" Please check the meaning of support thoroughly and understand my comment. Because you seem to be going out of point 2 Likes |
Re: If A Man Must Have Car, House And Job Before Marriage, What Must A Woman Have? by CHoccolaTE: 4:34pm On Dec 02, 2019 |
healthserve: But you quoted me to post your words naa........ Oga unfollow me if you no like my posts abeg, I can't be dealing with your emotional heartbroken posts everytime you see me write what you dont like. 3 Likes |
Re: If A Man Must Have Car, House And Job Before Marriage, What Must A Woman Have? by healthserve(m): 4:35pm On Dec 02, 2019 |
CHoccolaTE: Bruhahahaha S.M and funny e-fights sha. Nice one. I'll clap to this one. Lol. ![]() |
Re: If A Man Must Have Car, House And Job Before Marriage, What Must A Woman Have? by CHoccolaTE: 4:36pm On Dec 02, 2019 |
healthserve: Who is fighting this one? Mtsheew 1 Like |
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