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What Is The Weirdest Testimony You Heard This Year? - Religion (2) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Religion / What Is The Weirdest Testimony You Heard This Year? (23975 Views)

What Is The Funniest And Most Unnecessary Testimony You Have Heard In Church. / What Is The Weirdest Testimony You Have Ever Listened To In Church? / Share Your Any Funny Testimony You Have Heard (2) (3) (4)

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Re: What Is The Weirdest Testimony You Heard This Year? by Bluezy13(m): 9:16am On Dec 08, 2019
Hmmm...



Came to read stories.

1 Like

Re: What Is The Weirdest Testimony You Heard This Year? by YorubaLord: 9:17am On Dec 08, 2019
ABCthings:
House collapse and nobody died. undecided


How dat take weird?

2 Likes

Re: What Is The Weirdest Testimony You Heard This Year? by Nobody: 9:19am On Dec 08, 2019
Here for the jokes and fun
Re: What Is The Weirdest Testimony You Heard This Year? by phil0(m): 9:21am On Dec 08, 2019
socialmediaman:
With the economic situation on ground, everything you achieve is a miracle. Think about how people are surviving year to year with no jobs, how they’re alive with no annual medical check ups, how they live with little or no access to basic amenities of life.
while some people still say that God didn't do anything for them this year not knowing that good and sound health is a great testimony in this shit hole.
Re: What Is The Weirdest Testimony You Heard This Year? by Nobody: 9:21am On Dec 08, 2019
Lmao. Religion is a scam

1 Like

Re: What Is The Weirdest Testimony You Heard This Year? by drlaykay(m): 9:23am On Dec 08, 2019
My brake failed on 3rd mainland last night
Re: What Is The Weirdest Testimony You Heard This Year? by sammychimex(m): 9:24am On Dec 08, 2019
Plead:
Lmao. Religion is a scam

Religion is scam but when you see babalawo you go fear am, who are you fooling

2 Likes

Re: What Is The Weirdest Testimony You Heard This Year? by anochuko01(m): 9:25am On Dec 08, 2019
As a church goer that i am, ive heard so many that i cant point at one!

But i'll pick that of the brother that saw exam questions in his dream. 21 question. 7 questions for three courses.
He scored 70, 70 and 68 in those courses.

3 Likes

Re: What Is The Weirdest Testimony You Heard This Year? by Mires: 9:26am On Dec 08, 2019
cRobo:
That's why they are called miracle/testimony

They aren't ordinary if they were,they won't be a testimony

I just wish and pray you don't find yourself in a difficult position that you find it difficult to do basic stuff like walking or picking objects up

Then you will understand the privilege of life you enjoy

Bro, more anointing on your head

1 Like

Re: What Is The Weirdest Testimony You Heard This Year? by ProfessorBerlin(m): 9:29am On Dec 08, 2019
I went to a church and I was shocked.










the pastor was like










"If u refuse to pay your tithe, things will be tight with you"










fear catch me. na by force to pay tithe.










pastors should start hustling instead of depending solely on tithes and offerings.

1 Like

Re: What Is The Weirdest Testimony You Heard This Year? by DikeDiMighty: 9:33am On Dec 08, 2019
A lady claimed she didn't submit her CV anywhere, but was suddenly called by Shells to resume immediately. sad undecided

6 Likes

Re: What Is The Weirdest Testimony You Heard This Year? by FuckHomophobes: 9:34am On Dec 08, 2019
DikeDiMighty:
A lady claimed she didn't submit her CV anywhere, but was suddenly called by Shells to resume immediately.


Aaaaaargh Mad oooo!!!! grin
Re: What Is The Weirdest Testimony You Heard This Year? by Nobody: 9:37am On Dec 08, 2019
The weirdest testimony I heard this year started like this

MAN: PRAISE THE LORD CHURCH

CONGREGATION: HALLELUJAH

MAN: YESTERDAY MY WIFE PUT TO BIRTH AND I HAD PLANS TO BUY HER A CAR BUT THE MONEY NO REACH SO I DECIDED TO GO PRICE THE CAR BUT AS SOON AS THE SELLER HEARD MY WIFE JUST PUT TO BIRTH HE DECIDED TO GIVE ME THE CAR ON CREDIT, THE CAR IS WORTH 2.1M NAIRA AND HE JUST GAVE ME LIKE THAT WITH NO SINGLE INITIAL DEPOSIT FOR THE CAR,

SOMEBODY PRAISE THE LORD CHURCH


ME: me I just be like, but this car seller has just put you into a very mighty dept.. something you may pay for the next 1 to 2 year.. only God knows your current salary scale. ... yet you're thanking God for this

1 Like

Re: What Is The Weirdest Testimony You Heard This Year? by DikeDiMighty: 9:37am On Dec 08, 2019
FuckHomophobes:



Aaaaaargh Mad oooo!!!! grin
I tell you...and people were shouting hallelujah. These religious folks usually tend to be reta.rded.
Re: What Is The Weirdest Testimony You Heard This Year? by Jabioro: 9:40am On Dec 08, 2019
Any nairaland moderators at home? Your commentators have removed my front teeth..I was laughing , laughing and laughing till ...all I wanted is my front teeth.. nairaland no go kill me .. today na Sunday..oooo
Re: What Is The Weirdest Testimony You Heard This Year? by pocohantas(f): 9:40am On Dec 08, 2019
It has been years, but it still takes the cake. Someone said he got an alert from nowhere, it was so timely that he knew it was a divine helper.

"dude!! That is most likely a wrong deposit/credit. Someone is looking for that money somewhere!!!" Jeez! angry

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: What Is The Weirdest Testimony You Heard This Year? by Kenneygirl(f): 9:41am On Dec 08, 2019
YorubaLord:


You dey alright sha?

No one cares abt ur testimony... OP, said one that you've heard. angry
Swerve, pokenose

1 Like

Re: What Is The Weirdest Testimony You Heard This Year? by IgweBUIKE1(m): 9:44am On Dec 08, 2019
mine was 2pac testimony...he got shot five times and still breathing. .followed by 50cent
Re: What Is The Weirdest Testimony You Heard This Year? by Onyi22(f): 9:45am On Dec 08, 2019
Hh
Re: What Is The Weirdest Testimony You Heard This Year? by grandstar(m): 9:49am On Dec 08, 2019
cRobo:
That's why they are called miracle/testimony

They aren't ordinary if they were,they won't be a testimony

I just wish and pray you don't find yourself in a difficult position that you find it difficult to do basic stuff like walking or picking objects up

Then you will understand the privilege of life you enjoy

Be careful (Read Proverbs 14: 15, 2 Corinthians 11:14-15, 2 Thessalonians 2:9-12)
Re: What Is The Weirdest Testimony You Heard This Year? by Nobody: 9:51am On Dec 08, 2019
sammychimex:


Religion is scam but when you see babalawo you go fear am, who are you fooling

What makes you think I’m afraid of babalawo?

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: What Is The Weirdest Testimony You Heard This Year? by id4sho(m): 9:52am On Dec 08, 2019
I thank God for seeing my Mensural Period #OLOSHO WAKA JEJE #SLAYMAMA WAKA JEJE #INSIDE LIFE
Re: What Is The Weirdest Testimony You Heard This Year? by Chubhie: 9:55am On Dec 08, 2019
I heard Bishop Oyedepo say his poster was vomiting fire. I wasn't surprised tho cos he's the only self professed gatekeeper of hell West African region.

Why he has elected not unleash this fire in Aso Rock is still a mystery.

3 Likes

Re: What Is The Weirdest Testimony You Heard This Year? by grandstar(m): 9:56am On Dec 08, 2019
A lawyer told me that when he was in the university, he sat for a course he knew nothing about and he was quite certain he would fail.

He said he was overjoyed when he scored 77% in it. That it was actually 2 exclamations ?? that was registered in as 77.

I did not know whether to laugh or cry

8 Likes 2 Shares

Re: What Is The Weirdest Testimony You Heard This Year? by Ancecoker(m): 9:56am On Dec 08, 2019
Donald95:


What other weird Testimony have you heard?

Only God can do what no man can do Jehovah
May His Name be praised forever

2 Likes

Re: What Is The Weirdest Testimony You Heard This Year? by GeniusHawlah(m): 9:58am On Dec 08, 2019
cRobo:
That's why they are called miracle/testimony

They aren't ordinary if they were,they won't be a testimony

I just wish and pray you don't find yourself in a difficult position that you find it difficult to do basic stuff like walking or picking objects up

Then you will understand the privilege of life you enjoy
Mtshhhhw
Re: What Is The Weirdest Testimony You Heard This Year? by Louisboy22(m): 9:59am On Dec 08, 2019
socialmediaman:
With the economic situation on ground, everything you achieve is a miracle. Think about how people are surviving year to year with no jobs, how they’re alive with no annual medical check ups, how they live with little or no access to basic amenities of life.
Nigerian can't see all this as miracle until dey buy car and build that their dream house just to intimate others people before they call it miracle

1 Like

Re: What Is The Weirdest Testimony You Heard This Year? by WriterX(m): 10:04am On Dec 08, 2019
this happened to a Friend , he is agnostic when it comes to religion and God .


He is visual artist and does painting and all that for a living so I go to see one evening and he shows me a clean new razor on his room table and ask me to guess what happened to it.

I try to guess but I know I am bad at it and then he tells this story I still find hard to believe till date.



he said three days ago he was working on an art work for a client and he had used that razor but two days later hr couldn't find it when he needed to use it .
Since he had a pack he figured he would search for it some other day and did not bother to find it again till to day.
he said after he arrived from school that day he was really tired and decided to sleep , taking off his clothes he laid till that evening due to how tired he was .

he had gotten up and just walked a few steps and stretched himself when he had the sound of something falling from his back, thinking it was an insect or so he turned to look at it .

lol and behold he finds that razor on the floor in other words that razor fell from his back in shock he said he ran to the mirror to check his back hoping to see razor cuts and all that but nothing was there not even a scratch .

"are you serious?" I asked the fella

"Richy I go lie give you for that kind thing , I slept on this razor the whole noon and it didn't injure me , I don't know how possible that is because the slightest turn I could make would warrant the sharp blade to cut through my skin ,why it didn't injure me I really don't know"


we sat there looking like idiots , my friend slept on a new blade for hours and he wasn't cut .

it's funny I know but that's weird , my guy had no shirt on talk about miracle that's a big one for the guy.

6 Likes

Re: What Is The Weirdest Testimony You Heard This Year? by Louisboy22(m): 10:05am On Dec 08, 2019
DikeDiMighty:
A lady claimed she didn't submit her CV anywhere, but was suddenly called by Shells to resume immediately. sad undecided
Are you for real? Shells for that matter
Re: What Is The Weirdest Testimony You Heard This Year? by Nobody: 10:06am On Dec 08, 2019
DikeDiMighty:
A lady claimed she didn't submit her CV anywhere, but was suddenly called by Shells to resume immediately. sad undecided

Errrrrrrr... maybe she was "headhunted" and probably misinterpreted it as a miracle.

These things happen. Sometimes. Maybe she's a rare type of super-duper genius, you see? Who knows? sad

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