[quote author=kenchop post=84952767][/quote]


You need urgent psychiatric care.

nairalanduseles:


I am a solid lion man Barbuda
Confirmed freedom fighter
I bam gidigba

I didn’t know that the definition of freedom fighting is assaulting people verbally.

IgbosAreOsus:

How old is this one?
Fk out of here!

You think through your anus.

LilMissFavvy:
How would you have felt if it was your wife who hanged out with her friends and came back by 2am? Any married man or woman who does things without considering the other partner is immature or simply wicked. Your wife's brother should have slapped you back, or is he a weak man? He should have slapped you ensuring that you bleed from your mouth and nose. As for your wife, continue to call her, send messages, give her more time, she will heal and return to you. It's very shameful that her brother was there and did not defend her, by slapping the st-pi---y outta your brains.

you don't have sense seriously....so mean her brother should slap him, that how you ppl behave in your family abi....

LilMissFavvy:
How would you have felt if it was your wife who hanged out with her friends and came back by 2am? Any married man or woman who does things without considering the other partner is immature or simply wicked. Your wife's brother should have slapped you back, or is he a weak man? He should have slapped you ensuring that you bleed from your mouth and nose. As for your wife, continue to call her, send messages, give her more time, she will heal and return to you. It's very shameful that her brother was there and did not defend her, by slapping the st-pi---y outta your brains.

Yes he hit her not good, but it wasn't intentional n she caused it. If she had ignored him after showing her annoyance, maybe even had left him in the sitting room, n the next day talked to her husband about him being outside late was not good for his young family, he would have listened to her n said he was sorry. But like most women being extremists, she had to go the whole haul n called her mother n brother. Let her stew in her anger for sometime, u didn't pack her things out by urself, she did it her self. Let her mother n brother marry her for this short time, that her brother is not yet married, I presume so he il not understand. If u keep begging her n she comes back, she il always use her leaving with the baby or calling her mother and brother to threaten u. Just keep quiet since u told her u r sorry. When her papa house done tire her she il be back home.

Ladycewhy:
Yeah you are right, drunks are better left alone, maybe she should have let him sleep outside till the drink wears out,will that be a good idea too?

since it is his first time, a better approach will be to open the door , ignore him and discuss things with him when he is okay

Those of you telling him to forget her should think again.

The woman was already unhappy with this keeping late nights, and probably other things too.

While he was out, she was probably calling without a response. As for me, since it got to a point where her parents came in, he has to go to the house and apologise.

It is true that parents give out their girl children in marriage, but not all them sell their children.

OP, you hurt her parents deeply by ever raising your hands on her. If she was shouting and raising hands at you provocatively, you are the reason why. You pushed her to such place of bitterness and resentment. I'm sure you probably didn't apologize the moment you came in....that would have angered her more. It was inconsiderate of you.

Would you accept for your wife to be out that long with friends?

Well, except daughter doesn't tell me..but there's no way I'm leaving her with a man that raises his hand on her...except she decides to stay.

Na from clap them dey enter dance.

In the heat of the moment, mistakes happen. But don't beat your wife again. It would have been better to leave the house for her and disappear for weeks if necessary.

Having said that, if you are the one paying 100% rent for that house, don't let your in laws step in that house again as they clearly do not respect you.

And as for your run away wife, she is not ready to leave her family so try finding a better wife who is in it for the long run and will not bail out at the first signs of trouble or who will be discussing you with her family BEHIND your back as your wife has clearly been doing.

Don't let them use your child to blackmail you as you are still young and can have more children with a BETTER woman.

Her brother is quite stupid and foolish for following their mother to pack his sisters stuff out of her husbands house.

Pay your dues regularly on your child from afar but let her keep the child and herself in her parents house and you should focus on getting a new wife who will not allow her family to meddle and disrespect you.

Once they start, they don't stop.

LilMissFavvy:
How would you have felt if it was your wife who hanged out with her friends and came back by 2am? Any married man or woman who does things without considering the other partner is immature or simply wicked. Your wife's brother should have slapped you back, or is he a weak man? He should have slapped you ensuring that you bleed from your mouth and nose. As for your wife, continue to call her, send messages, give her more time, she will heal and return to you. It's very shameful that her brother was there and did not defend her, by slapping the st-pi---y outta your brains.

and anytime she call d husband unprinted names....he sud also invite is sisters to come do Same thing to her bah.....I guess u didn't think before typing at all.
only a fool will be naive to the fact that alot of mistakes will be made during marriage.

Ladycewhy:
Action reaction and counter reaction, everything has let to this point, everyone has traded blames.


The question here is does the op want to salvage his marriage? Cos in my personal opinion since the girl's parents are involved already there is no way this issue will be resolved quietly without him getting someone from his own side to join in the appeal, maybe an elder or a pastor. He has to let the elder negotiate on the phone with her parents and go to her house with wine and kolanut. What do you suggest?

I think he should withdraw and let elders from his side contact his wife's people. I think emotions are still running high so he should stop his personal begging. Let the elders take over and negotiate.
They will blame both sides and tell them what to do to forestall future occurrences of such.

Ekene161829:
Thank you for you advise. I never done anything like it before and I taught I could never do such a thing thing to her and I regret everything. Normally we argue like any other couples, she will be screaming and get really heated , I will leave the house for some hours and comes back later , and I keep myself under control. I know that if I don’t , she won’t stop either and things will get nasty. But on that night it didn’t go down that way , I was trying to keep controlled and explain to her the reason why I came late was 2 of my friends were drunk to the point where they couldn’t walk . I have to drive them home. She just wouldn’t stop yelling and throwing hands at me , I was so tired to leave the house again that was why I left our room to go to the living room. She kept on going and I yelled at her to ship up and leave me alone as she was laying into me, she screamed back that she wouldn’t that made me angry and I hit her.the pain of knowing I did that especially when it wasn’t my intentions is killing me and I want to show her that it was a mistake and I had no reason or thought behind hitting her

your wife doesnt trust you

Dupalmer:
In as much as I don't support domestic violence, your effort at apologizing and sincerely promising not to repeat it is more than enough to make you guys come back to normal if she's a reasonable woman.
don't call or beg her anymore else she will see a good stance to manipulate your sorry ass forever.
She will come back in a matter of days if you ignore her but if she doesn't, find a way to make yourself happy. You can't kill yourself over a trouble she ignited. She will loose if she tries to make it a hard or competitive game.

There are many ladies young and old with very good character that will be willing to marry as second, third and even fourth wife.

my dear so far am still d head of the ouse and I don't do dat every day and I came back and lock my outside my dear u are done..I have Neva touch a lady before and won't do dat but dear Pepe go roast ur yansh

Let me give you a mature mind advise;
1. You must make up your mind never to hit your wife till you die and your wife must never raise her voice again till she die.
2. Bone her mama and brother, just keep in touch with your wife by calling her from time to time even if she refuse to pick your calls.
3. If she doesnt pick your call, send a message in the morning to her, greeting her and asking about the baby likewise at night. Dont mention the matter again, dont apologise again.
4. Ask how she's coping after some days tell her to send her account number so that you can send some upkeep. Make sure it's her account number and not her brother or mother.
5. I give your wife 3weeks she will be willing to return unless you have not been a good husband before. She will get tired of her fathers house, shame go dey catch am after awhile and you have open the doorway for her return by constantly communicating with her even when she doesn't reply.
6. This is a rough road to follow but you would have delivered your life from the bondage of such inlaws.
7. If you will beat your wife again dont bother taking my advise.
8. If you cant cook or eat bread with stew, or sleep on the couch alone for the time being go and gather your relatives so as to go and beg your mother in law .

I don't support guy for hitting his wife,but why will the wife involve her family in this issue. Guy don't beg her after some days she be the person calling you. Again you don't have good in-laws,no good mother will behave the way your mother in-law did

JubrinElSudan:
You left her in the bedroom went to the Parlor and she still followed you to there. After you had slapped her, she now went back to the bedroom, locked the door and refused to come out. The same room she refused staying before she was slapped. Most times, na we dey cause trouble for ourselves

This their matter looks like a drama. Seriously.

Ekene161829:
Thanks for your advice . Just to clarify im not an alcoholic and I rarely ever goes out with my friends. I have no interest in clubbing and drinking to get drunk. I like to being home relaxing with my family helping around the house and taking care of our baby.but whenever my friends want to hang out she is extremely unhappy if I go out with friends for a beer which is once in a while.She says it's unfair that she stays alone with the baby. I love my wife and baby so much but I just want to socialize with my friends outside of work even just 2-3 times a year but when I do it brings my wife to yell at me, tears of frustration and accusations that I dont love her.i have compromises to include her by bringing my friends to the house but she rejected it. Am I wrong from wanting some social time outside of of my family ? Does being married with a child mean having no friends at all?

Bros come out plain, we be guy like u and mistakes are bound to happen, 2-3 times u mentioned na lie, u can be going out 2-3 times weekly self and Ur wife will be happy with it if u know Ur onions... u av wronged that girl well well no be today...lol

Ordinary back hand and she is acting up

LilMissFavvy:
How would you have felt if it was your wife who hanged out with her friends and came back by 2am? Any married man or woman who does things without considering the other partner is immature or simply wicked. Your wife's brother should have slapped you back, or is he a weak man? He should have slapped you ensuring that you bleed from your mouth and nose. As for your wife, continue to call her, send messages, give her more time, she will heal and return to you. It's very shameful that her brother was there and did not defend her, by slapping the st-pi---y outta your brains.

instead of u to learn u are dere saying rubbish, I see u being single kind off

Op you messed up badly. You should have ignore her. Watch a movie or listen to. Music or go to the toilet just to ignore her. So women their mouth na razor and it still does not give you the right to hit her. It is wrong. Na so e dey start. From slap, e go turn beat etc.

Women sef can you no just keep quiet eh. Screaming at someone at 2am. Hmmm if na me I will open door and go to bed. God help you you ask for. Food, I will just ignore you totally. I don't talk when am. Pissed cos you tend to say things you don't mean when you are angry and once the words go out, you can't take it back. I will keep quiet but by my action you will know that am really angry..

Keep apologising, she will forgive and come back

Ekene161829:
Thanks for your advice . Just to clarify im not an alcoholic and I rarely ever goes out with my friends. I have no interest in clubbing and drinking to get drunk. I like to being home relaxing with my family helping around the house and taking care of our baby.but whenever my friends want to hang out she is extremely unhappy if I go out with friends for a beer which is once in a while.She says it's unfair that she stays alone with the baby. I love my wife and baby so much but I just want to socialize with my friends outside of work even just 2-3 times a year but when I do it brings my wife to yell at me, tears of frustration and accusations that I dont love her.i have compromises to include her by bringing my friends to the house but she rejected it. Am I wrong from wanting some social time outside of of my family ? Does being married with a child mean having no friends at all?

Bros come out plain, we be guy like u and mistakes are bound to happen, 2-3 times u mentioned na lie, u can be going out 2-3 times weekly self and Ur wife will be happy with it if u know Ur onions... u av wronged that girl well well no be today...lol

xendra:
SMH

2am? when it's not business?
she sabi shout, person like me wey no fit shout I no go open door atall. you wee sleep there.

anyway give it time and go back to begging her she would have calmed down and thought about her life, she will come back. unless she is convinced living without you is what's best for her.

This the most foolish sentimental reply have ever seen after begging your wife till day break ,things happened in marriage tha don’t need a third party to settle but you here talking shit instead of telling th bros he no get wife , even ur comment really irritate me you won’t open door for ur husband . U just talking diffent bullshit

LilMissFavvy:
How would you have felt if it was your wife who hanged out with her friends and came back by 2am? Any married man or woman who does things without considering the other partner is immature or simply wicked. Your wife's brother should have slapped you back, or is he a weak man? He should have slapped you ensuring that you bleed from your mouth and nose. As for your wife, continue to call her, send messages, give her more time, she will heal and return to you. It's very shameful that her brother was there and did not defend her, by slapping the st-pi---y outta your brains.

Calm down jor.... Shit happens

Graxie:
I see most of them as kids that are craving for attention. When you don't have proper upbringing from a good father, it's possible to treat your wife same way you saw your dad doing it.

you're so correct. They can only give what they have.

LilMissFavvy:
How would you have felt if it was your wife who hanged out with her friends and came back by 2am? Any married man or woman who does things without considering the other partner is immature or simply wicked. Your wife's brother should have slapped you back, or is he a weak man? He should have slapped you ensuring that you bleed from your mouth and nose. As for your wife, continue to call her, send messages, give her more time, she will heal and return to you. It's very shameful that her brother was there and did not defend her, by slapping the st-pi---y outta your brains.

Feminist fool

Please Make sure you divorce ur wife after 2years of marriage, if within 1year you are able to remarry that means men have the higher chance..

ericsmith:





since you want to play the upper hand card, what does a divorced, single dad have to regret in r/ship market. if op & his wife are to remarry today who has a higher chance.

Ekene161829:
Thanks for your advice . Just to clarify im not an alcoholic and I rarely ever goes out with my friends. I have no interest in clubbing and drinking to get drunk. I like to being home relaxing with my family helping around the house and taking care of our baby.but whenever my friends want to hang out she is extremely unhappy if I go out with friends for a beer which is once in a while.She says it's unfair that she stays alone with the baby. I love my wife and baby so much but I just want to socialize with my friends outside of work even just 2-3 times a year but when I do it brings my wife to yell at me, tears of frustration and accusations that I dont love her.i have compromises to include her by bringing my friends to the house but she rejected it. Am I wrong from wanting some social time outside of of my family ? Does being married with a child mean having no friends at all?

you dated before getting married. you guys should have sort out the difference then

She already wanted to leave even before the slap and was waiting for an excuse, why beg her all night? Don't go to her mum to beg her to return, let her be there for 2 years after which her head go correct on its own. I speak from experience. meanwhile, live your life, if love happens to you again, take it!!! Never ever beg someone to stay with you, that is how see finish starts.

golddare:
Let me give you a mature mind advise;
1. You must make up your mind never to hit your wife till you die and your wife must never raise her voice again till she die.
2. Bone her mama and brother, just keep in touch with your wife by calling her from time to time even if she refuse to pick your calls.
3. If she doesnt pick your call, send a message in the morning to her, greeting her and asking about the baby likewise at night. Dont mention the matter again, dont apologise again.
4. Ask how she's coping after some days tell her to send her account number so that you can send some upkeep. Make sure it's her account number and not her brother or mother.
5. I give your wife 3weeks she will be willing to return unless you have not been a good husband before. She will get tired of her fathers house, shame go dey catch am after awhile and you have open the doorway for her return by constantly communicating with her even when she doesn't reply.
6. This is a rough road to follow but you would have delivered your life from the bondage of such inlaws.
7. If you will beat your wife again dont bother taking my advise.
8. If you cant cook or eat bread with stew, or sleep on the couch alone for the time being go and gather your relatives so as to go and beg your mother in law .

I'm in love with this, you make sense.
But the bold sentence; mbanu, isn't she alive? Their mouth runs like a broken tap.

Dear op, you need to keep apologizing to her and her family. She will surely come around when she sees how remorseful you are. I’m sure she has been a good wife which is why you regret your actions.
If you really love her and want your marriage back then put your ego aside. Just a slap is always the beginning of domestic violence that might eventually lead to a person’s death. This is why she didn’t hesitate in fleeing until she knows it won’t happen again.
Go to her family house with a few drinks, a friend or relative and apologize. And pls try not to hit her again. Women can be annoying but it doesn’t mean they deserve to hit.
I wish you all the best.

xendra:
I'm not surprised to see men saying she should have kept this within the family. na from clap dem dey enter dance. a man that can come home 2am and slap the wife that same night deserves no sympathy. na so she go keep quiet till it gets worse and he kills her.

naija men, Una try o

Its wrong to bring interference. Take whatever actions you wish to but not by bringing third party. She should have packed her load leaving,slapped back or done whatever she wishes(am not in any position to determine her reaction) but third parties shouldnt come in...
If i want to deal with you,i will deal will you personally but not recruit people to help me deal with you


As for you OP,marriage aint by force,i hate being chained or my movemwnts being monitored. Marriage is like a shackle for both men and women. You have to dump and compromise your interests...its too hard.it is a scary journey to embark on. I personally love my pace and space and i like to do things at my will.
I am yet to wonder why someone will be bothered when A GROWN UP MALE ADULT is away at night. If its a kid i will worried about ritualists,robbers attacking him but a grown up adult....no no no....
I will count it as a privilledge to have the bed to myself and stretch as much as i want in comfort before he comes back snoring....

I have always told people,marry your sort of person. If you are an indoor man,marry a woman who loves you staying at home. If you love hanging out or clubbing,marry a woman who loves you doing that(like me) .To avoid nagging or quarrels marry who you synchronise with. I dont believe on trying to change or nag someone of the choice he/she has made on how to do with his or her life. Its slavery to me
You didnt have to hit her,that was wrong,no matter how mouthy a lady becomes dont touch her. You should have apologised to her(based on your values as in the case you deem it wrong for a man to return late....although i personally i see nothing wrong in an adult male/female returning home at such time. I club myself) and if she persisted given her time to do forgive you.


#saynotodomestic violence

crackhaus:

Or what?
You will shout, yell, and scream my PC screen off?

lol...