In brief, I am a male married with 2 children, my daughter is 8 and son is 5. I also have my niece 11 and a house help 15 staying with us.

On Monday I gave my wife Christmas shopping money to get foodstuffs, hers and children clothing including our house help.

Yesterday my wife went shopping, she bought clothes for herself, our children and nothing for the house help. She claimed that the girl doesn’t need any clothes for Christmas as long we feed and send her to school, the rest is her parents' duties. The girl in question is my wife's relative from the same village. This girl is so nice to our children, she is like a second mother to them despite her being just 15, I have never had any problem with her.

I was mad at her that I told her, if she cannot treat another woman's child well then she doesn’t deserve to be a mother, yes I did said some harsh words to her because of anger. She accused me of sleeping with the little girl which I told her she is mad and she couldn’t stop crying the whole night. This morning she didn’t make my breakfast and refused greeting me back.

Please house let me know if I overreacted

The heart of human is purely more wicked than the devil ...

You can purchase xmas clothes for the girl as xmas gift. Just be monitoring her keenly as your madam is likely to frustrate your househelp.

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Wow... see these likes mehnnn !!! ;

hustle hard ooo,so that your children will not become house helps.

THE FEAR OF SOME WOMEN IS THE BEGINNING OF WISDOM

OP, you did the right thing by giving her money to shop for everybody at home, including the house help.

as it goes DO UNTO OTHERS WHAT YOU WANT TO BE DONE TO YOU.

OP don't even beg her, na small pikin dey worry am.

The heading tho
Your handle is new too, hope you're not trolling.

The girl in question is my wife relative from the same village

What she did was wrong, training a child doesn't end in feeding and education.
Was she in support of the help coming? Does she have any problem with the girl's family since they're related?
Try and buy the clothes for the girl yourself, hope she won't burn them.

I was mad at her that I told her , if she cannot treat another woman child well then she doesn’t deserve to be a mother

Fortunately, she's already a mother to your children. For peace sake, try and take the girl back to her parents. If possible train her, buy her everything but let her be in her parents house to prevent woman beats up her help and accuses her of sleeping with her hubby

But what do I know self

Why are you engaging a minor as househelp? Why. Both you and your wife, you are horrible.

When it gets to this stage where wife starts accusing you of sleeping with the girl, so as to avoid getting into messy situations, its best for you to take the girl back to her parents.

If you over pamper your househelp hmmmm, you're already becoming a suspect to your wife. Put her in the decision to give money for househelp clothes.... Some women can even suspect your sister.

Send her back home..... Simple and short. Add plenty cash but send her home. That's all

Your wife will be maltreating the poor girl from now henceforth.
Take the girl to her parents. Don't bring any house help again. Let your ogbanje wife be doing the house chores alone!!!
Allow your wife to suffer for her wickedness.

Bros send the girl back to her parents. So the poor girl would not suffer innocently

Unique357:
In brief , I am a male married with 2 children , my daughter is 8 and son is 5, I also have my niece 11 and a house help 15 staying with us. On Monday I gave my wife Christmas shopping money to get foodstuffs ,hers and children clothing including our house help. Yesterday my wife went shopping, she bought clothes for herself , our children and nothing for the house help. She claimed that the girl doesn’t need any clothes for Christmas as long we fed and send her to school , the rest is her parents duties. The girl in question is my wife relative from the same village , this girl is so nice to our children she is like a second mother to them despite her being just 15 , I have never had any problem with her. I was mad at her that I told her , if she cannot treat another woman child well then she doesn’t deserve to be a mother , yes I did said some harsh words to her because of anger. She accused me of sleeping with the little girl which I told her she is mad and she couldn’t stop crying the whole night. This morning she didn’t make my breakfast and refuse greeting me back. Please house let me know if I overreacted

Bros, honestly, you are crying over nothing.

Your wife is a woman and you should understand her own position. She doesn't want her relative help to enjoy same privilege as her and her children before things get out of hand. Also, she isn't comfortable with the affection you are showing the girl. You were even wrong to quarrel her and say nasty things to her. Your good intention was spoilt by your action.

Guy, na you find trouble! Even me sef de suspect say your eye de chook for the babe as you don de reason her as second mother.

BTW we have seen relative househelp "chanced" madam in their homes or get pregnant for the oga for house.

Guy, apologise to your wife, and ask her to send the girl to her people.

if that is her way of dealing with the truth then give her room to come around.
she just naturally wicked given that the house help is her relative. such girl is no house help but like her niece.
make her realise that girl is just one way you giving back to the society.
you did well pointing out the truth but still bring her around and to terms so she can understand better. let's for now believe don't understand.

STENON:
The heart of human is purely more wicked than the devil ...

You can purchase xmas clothes for the girl as xmas gift. Just be monitoring her keenly as your madam is likely to frustrate your househelp.

Why put the girl at risk? Buying Christmas clothes for the girl will make wify hate her and it will mark beginning of trouble in the house and for the girl.

TonyeBarcanista:

Bros, honestly, you are crying over nothing.

Your wife is a woman and you should understand her own position. She doesn't want her relative help to enjoy same privilege as her and her children before things get out of hand. Also, she isn't comfortable with the affection you showed towards the girl. You were even wrong to quarrel her and say nasty things to her. Your good intention was spoilt by your action.

Guy, na you find trouble! Even me sef de suspect say your eye de chook for the babe as you don de reason her as second mother.

BTW we have seen relative househelp "chanced" madam in their homes or get pregnant for the oga for house.

Guy, apologise to your wife, and ask her to send the girl to her people.

..........op fine make amend with you wife but please don't listen to that part that says you should return the girl.
tonyebarcanista...................you are here insulting another man's integrity, this reasoning shallow o.

Davash222:
Your wife will be maltreating the poor girl from now henceforth.
Take the girl to her parents. Don't bring any house help again. Let your ogbanje wife be doing the house chores alone!!!
Allow your wife to suffer for her wickedness.

Na wa o. The way you people insult people's spouses on Nairaland as if they are some street hustlers

For sake of peace, take the girl back to her parents. You can still take responsibility for her education. Most women are wicked

ezugegere:
For sake of peace, take the girl back to her parents. You can still take responsibility for her education. Most women are wicked

How did you conclude that the wife ks wicked? Let us watch what we say towards people's spouses.

I am very sure that the wife acted the way did because of the discomfort she feels with a second "woman" enjoying the attention and niceties of her husband.

Honestly, I can NEVER fault her! I have seen first hand where lovely and nice househelp got pregnant for oga and he was asked to marry her as second wife - which he did!

TonyeBarcanista:

Na wa o. The way you people insult people's spouses on Nairaland as if they are some street hustlers

see bird of same feather claiming saint.
with that your yeye advice up there, the same way you were in support of in-laws frustrating women in there matrimonial home in another thread. watching you in HD var.

SEGLIZ:

see bird of same feather claiming saint.
with that your yeye advice up there, the same way you were in support of in-laws frustrating women in there matrimonial home. watching in HD var.

No wonder they say most Nigerians doesn't have good cognitive reasoning

TonyeBarcanista:
No wonder they say most Nigerians doesn't have good cognitive reasoning

your post is thoroughly stupid.. I think its u that lack good cognitive reasoning... old man faa

You did the right thing by standing up for the girl b/c your wife should've bought some clothes for her like she did for your kids.
This probably isn't the first time she's excluding the girl from things and if she hasn't started maltreating her, she definitely will now.
You can either keep a watchful eye on them so that she doesn't [start/continue to] maltreat her OR you send her back to her parents.
If the latter, if you've the means, kindly help out her parents financially to send her to School or you enrol her in a School there yourself.

olril17:

your post is thoroughly stupid..
I think its u that lack good cognitive reasoning...
old man faa

The post is stupid because I kicked against labelling people's spouses with inappropriate names? God! What a country

TonyeBarcanista:

The post is stupid because I kicked against labelling people's spouses with inappropriate names? God! What a country

its stupid because u don't know this man in question,but u have concluded with your myopic fallacy that you suspect he already has eyes on the 15 yr old girl..

grow up old man

1. The girl is 15. "GIRL", not woman.
2. At 15, she's a child.
3. She's a relative of the wife's.

Idk what sort of useless discomfort the wife could possibly feel over buying the clothes for the girl who also happens to be a child and her own relative. I doubt OP is having any affair w/ her b/c this sounds like an innocent, non-threatening situation and it's not everybody that sleeps with their househelp. She should be the one to apologize to her husband for her dumb accusation and she should grow up b/c someone might end up maltreating her own kids the way she's doing with the girl. It's called karma.

TonyeBarcanista:

How did you conclude that the wife ks wicked? Let us watch what we say towards people's spouses.

I am very sure that the wife acted the way did because of the discomfort she feels with a second "woman" enjoying the attention and niceties of her husband.

Honestly, I can NEVER fault her! I have seen first hand where lovely and nice househelp got pregnant for oga and he was asked to marry her as second wife - which he did!

theButterfly:
1. The girl is 15. "GIRL", not woman.
2. At 15, she's a child.
3. She's a relative of the wife's.

Idk what sort of useless discomfort the wife could possibly feel over buying the clothes for the girl who also happens to be a child and her own relative. I doubt OP is having any affair w/ her b/c this sounds like an innocent, non-threatening situation and it's not everybody that sleeps with their househelp. She should be the one to apologize to her husband for her dumb accusation and she should grow up b/c someone might end up maltreating her own kids the way she's doing with the girl. It's called karma.

I am sure you saw the apostrophe symbol in the "woman"? Or is it that you don't know what it means?

2. A 15 year old is a teenager, an adolescent and not a child. And 15 year old get pregnant in case you don't know. Also do know that at age 15 some people are already done with secondary school, including some of my siblings.

3. Being a relative of madam is one reason the wife may be suspicious. It would have been different if she was his own relative.

Like I said earlier, a 15 year old is not a CHILD! Yes, OP may not be having affair with her but Madam isn't comfortable with her around anymore. Get the message!

I am a guy but I understand madam's angle!

from some comments here ,u go know say some people here dey maltreat dere house help

TonyeBarcanista:

No wonder they say most Nigerians doesn't have good cognitive reasoning

are you claiming to be conscious or what are you driving at?

TonyeBarcanista:

How did you conclude that the wife ks wicked? Let us watch what we say towards people's spouses.

I am very sure that the wife acted the way did because of the discomfort she feels with a second "woman" enjoying the attention and niceties of her husband.

Honestly, I can NEVER fault her! I have seen first hand where lovely and nice househelp got pregnant for oga and he was asked to marry her as second wife - which he did!

If she's not comfortable with the girl staying with them, she should take her back to her parents. Was she not the one that brought her in?
No justification for mistreating another's child. It is wickedness!

Even if the wife is suspicious it's not an excuse to exclude the help and go against her husband's instructions. She resorted to cheap emotional blackmail when op called out her bullshit. Pls send the girl back to her parents and also ur niece. Let ur wife do the house work herself and teach her 8year old to look out for the little boy.. It ll be a good home training experience for the wife and kids. Everybody should now do their own house work since treating the help well is now a problem.

U buy clothes for ur kids,u no buy for house help then u sleep well at night ,then run to church to claim holiness OP u did d right tin,,some go find excuse not to do d right thing,them wan change am to Op is sleeping wit 15 year old girl

Ndi aruruala every where,if my wife try dat bullshit na her papa house d next day

Unfortunately I ain't getting married till Jesus comes

theButterfly:
1. The girl is 15. "GIRL", not woman.
2. At 15, she's a child.
3. She's a relative of the wife's.

Idk what sort of useless discomfort the wife could possibly feel over buying the clothes for the girl who also happens to be a child and her own relative. I doubt OP is having any affair w/ her b/c this sounds like an innocent, non-threatening situation and it's not everybody that sleeps with their househelp. She should be the one to apologize to her husband for her dumb accusation and she should grow up b/c someone might end up maltreating her own kids the way she's doing with the girl. It's called karma.

thank you.
the age difference between her their first child and the girl is just four years...... meaning this could as well be their first child.