ericadianas:
Yes, my last name was always my dad's. My mum solely made sure of that.

No, i never stayed with him but we keep communication and visitation.

Then your case isn't as pathetic as the OP's.

My female friend denounced her dead beat father and took her foster father's name, even after she met her at the age of 14. She took the name of her foster father.

She forgave the man but told me that she feels regret having the DNA of a man who rejected her and her mother at birth. She told me she'll go for deliverance to purge herself of any spiritual contact she may have with her dead-beat father by blood. She's Igbo also.

I'm just laughing at the idiots talking about Igbo culture bla bla bla.

If you are a sperm donor to me and you and your family rejected I and my mum for whatever excuse only for you to show up later (not keeping any form of contact or communication the whole time), I'll beat the shît out of you if you ever come in contact with me.

I'm not one to reward bad behaviours like a lot of Nigerians do.

Skepticus:


Wow!

Trashy family.

It would be a tough one for you, but you'll pull through. You have to take legal steps in keeping that baby as only your own and if you marry a responsible man who is nice to your kid, get him to legally adopt your child as his. Family and customary courts would be sympathetic to you.

Don't let any idiot here deceive you. That he-goat and his useless family will show up some time later to reap where they did not sow. Don't reward the deliberate bad behaviours of people.

Nigerians are manipulative that way.

Thank you so much

Jaqenhghar:

God bless you and yohr household.

thanks boss. Most of the people advising won't accept a girl that denied dem when dey had nothing. Tell the idiot that he was right the baby was not his.

nanaman:
3

In as much as we think the deed was bad, there is still no reason to justify the fact that the young girl must know her real dad for future sake. It's kinda hard to forgive, I understand. However, who are we to question the circumstances behind all that happened and so far the mother is ready to the needful, my dear brother, let the reunion be possible though with some stringent clause.

The clause would be determined by the young girl. She's of age to decide where she wants to live. All these should be done within the welfare setting so as to have legal backing. The real father would pay all he can afford as upkeep, settle school fee and also visit as agreed by both parties.With this, everyone will be at peace especially your sister.

What happened was that you failed to take the necessary steps when the young girl was neglected. You guys should have gone to court for the new husband to adopt legally which would have given the man full custody and since you didn't do that, let the real father take over and settle everyone.

All the best.

I no no why they are wasting time, just tell the real dad to pay 10m or 30,000usd for all the upkeep so far.. and hand her over her daughter. Use the money go born and train ur own.

Jaqenhghar:

Bullshit. If he deinied the girl out of immaturity as you claim then what stops the parents from guiding him to do the right thing.

teenager may Sabi fu*k no b teenager. I don't know why this guy bother bringing the post here. Na ogun go kill am if he near my domot. See as body dey pain me.16 fucking years. Forget the money, the emotional trauma the girls family went through , the shame and everything. the stain on the familys name. The family has fought past all dis raise the girl and one big fool and his useless family wan come claim wetin. The op family weak Sha. Chai. The boy no go even reason my sister number not to even talk of saying rubbish.

Biafrareform:


They dont even know me. I have agreed to let him see her. But he must come visit me with his family and everyone that once made mockery of us when we went to talk about the pregnancy. I will so embarrass them ehhh. Make them come, i dey wait for them

Lol.... That's my nigga

Biafrareform:
.

Who is even talking of paying up. I don't want him near my baby girl

My man collect money first.. Whether you like it or not that guy is the bio dad. You should be more interested in the emotions. The girl cant leave you like that emotionally. Collect money and give conditions for the handover. You are still the biggest uncle.

Kylekent59:
You should be very happy for her that she's gonna reunite with her father. That's the best love you can give to her.


God even forgives us our sins, then we unite with him again and he welcomes us.

Just let them have her, you need not be furious. You have done your good part by being there for her. Seal your goodness with good ending and not the other way round.



You cannot deprive her of her real father!!!


*FACT*

God will punish you for this rubbish u wrote, u will die a painful and horrible death!!! Guy u are lucky this is an anonymous forum, what I would have done to you for this rubbish u will not believe it... animal

Apination:
Issues like this dey complex, you can't stop the father from knowing his daughter but it should end there. He gave up the right to her the day he denied her

You are the only sensible person in Nairaland... God bless u.

frubben:
teenager may Sabi fu*k no b teenager. I don't know why this guy bother bringing the post here. Na ogun go kill am if he near my domot. See as body dey pain me.16 fucking years. Forget the money, the emotional trauma the girls family went through , the shame and everything. the stain on the familys name. The family has fought past all dis raise the girl and one big fool and his useless family wan come claim wetin. The op family weak Sha. Chai. The boy no go even reason my sister number not to even talk of saying rubbish.

LOL. I dey feel your anger bro. Me too the thi g dey do me like say na me be the girl. that the nigger has the audacity to even call the girl is the highest insult . He has shít on that family forever.
I know how those bastards reason. They will first try to brainwash the child. They will deny ever denying her and will claim that its her mother that hid her from them.
Then how will the real father of the girl feel. After showering her with all the love then one monkey ( or group of monkeys) will come and talk nonsense.
My brother make I no get hypertension on top anoda man mattter

Biafrareform:
.

Who is even talking of paying up. I don't want him near my baby girl

Una no know soldiers near your house when fit deal the idiot?Send him a message he will never forget

KIkiofure:
I thought he loved me or some said.. So we usually have sex without protection til I go pregnant and funny enough he disvirgned me

hmmmmm

Life

frubben:
thanks boss. Most of the people advising won't accept a girl that denied dem when dey had nothing. Tell the idiot that he was right the baby was not his.

Do t mind them. I keep sayi g the double standards in that country towards women is just disgusting. Sadly women have encouraged this nonsense too.

I remember one guy na so him challenge dem for chirch bible study
He said why is it when a woman cheats, the chirch encourages the husband to divorce her. But whe a man cheats the church urges her to pray and forgive

Biafrareform:
Good evening all. I need your honest opinion on this .

My elder sister was put in a family way 16 years ago. The guy responsible, his family rejected the pregnancy Infront of my family .

We took her in, cared for her and she gave birth to a lovable baby girl . Dam, she is so pretty and was well loved.

She grew to become my pet . I loved her with all my heart. Infact we all loved her .

My elder sister is married . She has told her daughter that her present husband is her father when she start asking questions.

She is done with her secondary school and currently running a fashion design program . I planned on sending her to the Uni once she is done with her program .

Just got on phone with my sister now and she is telling me that , the dude that got her pregnant family has been disturbing her to allow them access to the girl . That they are ready to train her to any level .

And she is considering telling her daughter the truth about her birth .

Can you imagine the nonsense. I have warned her not to do that not to talk of giving them access and I am currently furious right now . After 16 years of loving this girl, someone is now claiming father .

Please how do I handle this .

From your nairaland name your an Igbo, In Igbo Custom one dosen't own a child he did not pay her mother bride price before the child is born. even if the same man return back to marry the mother he still not the owner of the child because according to Igbo custom is a taboo to give out girls hand in marriage if the girl family discover that she's pregnant not to talk of going to claim the child when you din't pay a kobo on the mother head.

But hence many of you reject the customs that give you such power to protect the child i don't know what to say, and If you're Igbo from south south area it may be that your fathers whom claim not to be Igbo are no longer part of this customs.

The man don't have right according to Igbo custom to claim the child, if i may ask what is he coming to do in you're family? to thief or Kidnap? what is he's relationship with your family? who told him that he can claim a child in Africa only because he have manhood to bleep a girl? what if the woman told him that he's not the child father that she only want to hang the pregnant to his neck then to avoid been rejected by her family? I wonder the kind men you have in your family that allow him to enter your family to talk about the child. when he come to your family to claim the child did he introduce his self as who? your in-law? rapist? ex lover? sperm donor? or free bleeper? I can't imagine how someone can introduce him self to my family to claim a child born to my father house hood by my sister.

Yes even though she's a female child and she's accepted into the family and she move's on with your father family name, I see your family regard as coward family when you people allow that child be kidnap by that man. what is so much important by uniting with the man? is it school that she can't attend or food, cloth, where to sleep? or good up bring? or a place to call home? Did your family reject the child when your sister give birth to her? what is it that she lack that will be offer by the kidnapper? i don't see anything she lack that the kidnapper will offer her.

have it in mind that your sister don't have the final say in this issue but your fathers kinsmen because the child was born in your father house, sometime education made ours to forget our roots, kinsmen is one to decide not your sister, your sister is now marry to another family. if it come to worst and he think he have money and can intimidate or offer money he have to pay $2 million to $5 million dollars for the child up-bring to this very age, and let see how much he have, and don't ever accept anything in naira, agreement in Dollar and pay in naira equivalent and not installment payment full payment. he lost it and that's it final he can go adopt child, but as for your sister daughter he don't have any relation with your family.

Definitely i don't think your sister is mental okey am not insulting but telling you pure truth, I still wonder how the man enter your family the very first day he came to claim the girl? even how did he get your sister number? meaning your sister is in her husband house and still communicate with him? if not, how did he introduced him name the very first day he call her? I still wondering how the claiming of 16 years old girl film started, remember your family don't have anything to worry when he go to court because no law make a man owner of a child he didn't pay a kobo to her mother head as bride price. But either your sister or family bleep up by given the kidnapper chance to tell you whatever in his mouth at first time about claiming the child. he can go adopt a child if he or her wife can't make babies.

How did she get your sister number is one that get me confuse, you women have mental problem too, a wise lady change the phone number she use as a single lady immediately she's married to avoid familiar stories as this. wise lady never save old boy friends and runs girls friends number in her new number when she get married. but some of your ladies want to compete with a man if i change my number the husband have to change he's also but at the end you people come up with cold stories.

happy new year in advance but you people is trying to bleepup.

KIkiofure:
I am currently two months pregnant with no support from him.. He denied me and his family too..
I pray I birth this child in peace but since he denied me already he can never see this child.. He even called my baby bastard

Just focus all your energy on raisjng the child right. You can do it. Raise that child in love beleive me theu wont miss the idiot. If you can sef run away from that hell hole of a country. See single women here living their best lives no body dey disturb them

Jaqenhghar:

LOL. I dey feel your anger bro. Me too the thi g dey do me like say na me be the girl. that the nigger has the audacity to even call the girl is the highest insult . He has shít on that family forever.
I know how those bastards reason. They will first try to brainwash the child. They will deny ever denying her and will claim that its her mother that hid her from them.
Then how will the real father of the girl feel. After showering her with all the love then one monkey ( or group of monkeys) will come and talk nonsense.
My brother make I no get hypertension on top anoda man mattter

ABI oooo. Make we no get heart attack. Op na u come know .

KIkiofure:
I am currently two months pregnant with no support from him.. He denied me and his family too..
I pray I birth this child in peace but since he denied me already he can never see this child.. He even called my baby bastard

Regardless he is still the father
Leave story
Shit happens

Biafrareform:
Good evening all. I need your honest opinion on this .

My elder sister was put in a family way 16 years ago. The guy responsible, his family rejected the pregnancy Infront of my family .

We took her in, cared for her and she gave birth to a lovable baby girl . Dam, she is so pretty and was well loved.

She grew to become my pet . I loved her with all my heart. Infact we all loved her .

My elder sister is married . She has told her daughter that her present husband is her father when she start asking questions.

She is done with her secondary school and currently running a fashion design program . I planned on sending her to the Uni once she is done with her program .

Just got on phone with my sister now and she is telling me that , the dude that got her pregnant family has been disturbing her to allow them access to the girl . That they are ready to train her to any level .

And she is considering telling her daughter the truth about her birth .

Can you imagine the nonsense. I have warned her not to do that not to talk of giving them access and I am currently furious right now . After 16 years of loving this girl, someone is now claiming father .

Please how do I handle this .

my honest responds is; they shouldn't release the child for now there must be a reason why all of a sudden out of nowhere they want to take responsibility, continue training her in edu and every aspect of her life until she comes of age to take decisions her mother should then seat her down and explain to her let the decision of taking her father back or not be her's only, you or the mother shouldn't influence her decision unless if a fault is later found about her father, may be he or his family has some family practice or toxic trait that could ruin or harm the child then you and her mom could come in to influence or guide her decision, she should not be released to him now but later

daddytime:
Exactly the same thing happened with my younger sister which I shared a bit on this thread https://www.nairaland.com/5284768/she-pregnant-twins-honestly-dont#79985006

The truth is, you have no right to deny the kid a relationship with her biological father no matter what must have transpired.

Are you serious? But the father has every right to deny her biological child at any time and at any place of his will?

This is the reason we are not advancing socially

obama30:


From your nairaland name your an Igbo, In Igbo Custom one dosen't own a child he did not pay her mother bride price before the child is born. even if the same man return back to marry the mother he still not the owner of the child because according to Igbo custom is a taboo to give out girls hand in marriage if the girl family discover that she's pregnant not to talk of going to claim the child when you din't pay a kobo on the mother head.

But hence many of you reject the customs that give you such power to protect the child i don't know what to say, and If you're Igbo from south south area it may be that your fathers whom claim not to be Igbo are no longer part of this customs.

The man don't have right according to Igbo custom to claim the child, if i may ask what is he coming to do in you're family? to thief or Kidnap? what is he's relationship with your family? who told him that he can claim a child in Africa only because he have manhood to bleep a girl? what if the woman told him that he's not the child father that she only want to hang the pregnant to his neck then to avoid been rejected by her family? I wonder the kind men you have in your family that allow him to enter your family to talk about the child. when he come to your family to claim the child did he introduce his self as who? your in-law? rapist? ex lover? sperm donor? or free bleeper? I can't imagine how someone can introduce him self to my family to claim a child born to my father house hood by my sister.

Yes even though she's a female child and she's accepted into the family and she move's on with your father family name, I see your family regard as coward family when you people allow that child be kidnap by that man. what is so much important by uniting with the man? is it school that she can't attend or food, cloth, where to sleep? or good up bring? or a place to call home? Did your family reject the child when your sister give birth to her? what is it that she lack that will be offer by the kidnapper? i don't see anything she lack that the kidnapper will offer her.

have it in mind that your sister don't have the final say in this issue but your fathers kinsmen because the child was born in your father house, sometime education made ours to forget our roots, kinsmen is one to decide not your sister, your sister is now marry to another family. if it come to worst and he think he have money and can intimidate or offer money he have to pay $2 million to $5 million dollars for the child up-bring to this very age, and let see how much he have, and don't ever accept anything in naira, agreement in Dollar and pay in naira equivalent and not installment payment full payment. he lost it and that's it final he can go adopt child, but as for your sister daughter he don't have any relation with your family.

Definitely i don't think your sister is mental okey am not insulting but telling you pure truth, I still wonder how the man enter your family the very first day he came to claim the girl? even how did he get your sister number? meaning your sister is in her husband house and still communicate with him? if not, how did he introduced him name the very first day he call her? I still wondering how the claiming of 16 years old girl film started, remember your family don't have anything to worry when he go to court because no law make a man owner of a child he didn't pay a kobo to her mother head as bride price. But either your sister or family bleep up by given the kidnapper chance to tell you whatever in his mouth at first time about claiming the child. he can go adopt a child if he or her wife can't make babies.

How did she get your sister number is one that get me confuse, you women have mental problem too, a wise lady change the phone number she use as a single lady immediately she's married to avoid familiar stories as this. wise lady never save old boy friends and runs girls friends number in her new number when she get married. but some of your ladies want to compete with a man if i change my number the husband have to change he's also but at the end you people come up with cold stories.

happy new year in advance but you people is trying to bleepup.

I like your analysis, thumb up

Digmygold:


He is callous to have called his own baby a bastard. Show him how to behave like a human being by punishing him.

My dear once you have that child, do the birth registration in your own surname and not his.
That way you deny him paternity for life.

I dislike cruelty to females. I have daughters and i will stand up against any idiotic man any day. Best of luck to you.

Go and sit down joor
Naso una go dey cause future problems for people

Hmmmmm

BarryLondon007:

Go and sit down joor
Naso una go dey cause future problems for people

Absolutely no problem at all. She's free as air. The idiot who put her in the family way caused his own misfortune and problems. Let him deal.with it. You cannot reap where you didnt sow.

nanaman:


Thanks for this. Very educative especially your second paragraph.

To dislodge such case in court will be an herculean task. Reason been that, we are just listening to a side of the story. Why did the man refuse to accept the pregnancy or child? Probably the woman was promiscuous (OP, apologies, we are just dissecting issues), or very naive while in school, or he was out of sight when he got the news or it was just absolute wickedness or the lady's fault as well (you know girls, they might be funny at times) lots of reasons we can't comprehend.

I want us to remove personal feelings and sentiments.

In court, you don't throw the water and the baby away. It would be based on facts. The mother already accepted, the man owns the child. Being that the child was not properly taking care of can be due to lots of reasons beyond the control of the man. The man is guilty of all charges. Accepted

However, does that just justify the court to denounce him of his child since the mother accepted he is the father? Does his irresponsibility make loose partenity?

Answer to your question is Yes!

Irresponsibility towards a minor, makes you loose custody and access. Check any civilised society and you will see it in practice. In Nigeria we just have it in law books but follow our cultures.

In-between, please explain to me how mistakes by the mother, promiscuity or otherwise justifies the sentence of death the father passed on his child. Am even wondering, was it not from promiscuity that he himself concieved the child? There is no plausible explanation for 16 years of denial and neglect, except the man is dead, in which case we should not be having this discussion.

This life, had the same issue in my family, my advice is to allow her meet the father and decide. But plead with her to stay with you and the father should support or forget it. Because the person it affected in my family had to live with the father but the complain became too much and during her traditional marriage, the suppose father demanded hell claiming to have raised her. Hmmmmmm please she should stay with you

Damn! God just picked that girl's call.
She go de flex 3 Dads be that: YOU (the main Dad IMO), the step-Dad and her biological Father.

Bro, don't prevent her from knowing her real Dad please, before she go date her blood Brother (or Cousin) in the future ooo

Kai! 16 years kwa... the Mom no try sha oooo

Briller:
Sorry to digress. So can I be given custody of my 3kids cause even when still married, my husband has totally ceded the responsibility of catering for the kids to me and then all he works for is for his extended family so he would be seen as the generous one.

Does evidence of paying all the bills give me custody cause right now the only thing on my mind is to kukuma face reality that I am a s single mom.

What does the Law provide for?

You're not digressing, we're still on the same matter.

Yes you can be given custody of your 3 kids if you can provide proof in court.

I will advice that you talk to a lawyer but please look before you leap.

MrBrownJay1:


instead of thinking of money, think of the CHILD 1st and foremost.



so because a person is useless, you should lie to a child about who her father is? why dont you just tell this child:"this is your useless biological father who abandoned you at birth." et voila!

its funny how all of you people claim to be holier than thou people, yet do no follow what your holybooks brainwashes you to do. your Bibles/Qur'ans tell you to forgive and forget, but here you are as bitter individuals. lol!

I am entitled to my opinion. Mr perfect

I have just one answer for the low liver guy...

































































Fa......fa.....fa........fa.......fa.............foul.........

In Zebrudaya Okorigwe voice alias 40...30,



Arrant nonsense.


Most guys that reject pregnancy will get married and start looking for kids,


Is late....No need lying to the young girl about her father, the new hubby of the mother isn't her father.

If the family has the means, send the girl to uptown immediately, case close.

Just,tamper Justice with mercy and know that the Irresponsible father is now response I guess for now asking of the child.
But must pay tightly for upkeep, birth and school fees.
Also the girl should know the rightful by deciding who she will stay with.
But of a truth the Father respect is drop before the girl by all standard.

Does igbo culture supersede the constitution? quote author=Solsix post=85331436]I don't know which part of the country u are typing from, but in igbo land once the man did not pay bride price, he can't lay claim to the child. He can assist in training the child but she can't be his[/quote]