This guy wants the d*ck of his father which he can not get.
guy cool down and talk to your mum. call your father to order and be that person that unit the family again.
anything other than the above you will blame yourself in future time.
The gods has spoken

baby124:
2 or 27yrs the woman is fed up. For her sanity she wants out of the marriage. No one should manipulate her into staying. She’s unhappy... if it’s divorce she wants, then she will get it for her own peace of mind.

Baby, she doesn't want divorce, she wants to know what she will get out of the divorce.

LordKO:
The kind of mentality most people have and the absurd things one reads on a forum like this most times are so repulsive.

I wonder how any sane person would say that a wife who conscientiously and loyally stayed at home and cater for the house (with or without offering) doesn't have right to claim that she "help built wealth in particular and the family in general" with her husband, who contributed his own quota of the family success monetarily/materially.

It's an abomination to approach marriage, a sacred union, as commercial business.

Very neuseating mentality.

funmisticqueen:
No woman benefits from being the come up woman. No woman benefits from ', building' with a man. No woman benefits from self sacrifice where a man is concerned.

what have you ever done for a man than collecting from men all your life?.. Let's talk when you're married.

pocohantas:
I thought they said men never leave the woman who BUILT with them?

Now being a submissive housewife is insignificant.

You have to love our men

Do you know one thing women don't know about men, men never forget how you treated them when they are at their very low, if a woman keeps nagging and complaining when her husband has no money, he would keep tolerating her till he becomes financially stable then bring in another woman and divorce the other.

Point is respect your husband more when things are not too okay.

OP no need talking to any lawyer. If the intent is to see what she can slice out of your dad estates, then I think it would be an excersice in futility and waste of money.

Instead, let her call you guys (her children), build a strong bond amongst you guys and pray for you guys to be successful in your individual endeavours.

Above all, this is the time to handover her battles to God in serious prayers and also committing the safety and overall wellbeing of her children to God.

There's no point seeking for divorce after 27 years. In no distant time and by God's grace you guys should have found your feet. That alone is more than enough consolation for whatever she feels she's being deprived in her marriage.

iInjureHerYansh:
Only 2 questions...

1. Are you mommy's special adviser

2. Does mommy know you just poured out all your family trashes here on nairaland trashland to be looked at by dead men who are also striving and praying on a daily for devine restoration as well






Pukes*

ur type die in suffering silence.

BigJoe19:
It It the same thing you all say, if I tell you to say your life plan, you won't be able to say anything.

Why should I say it to you? Apparently you have been meeting young women that doesn't know their left from their right.
I find it hard to believe that you belittle the efforts of a woman that stayed home to raise her kids, you said it's nothing. I blame women. To each his own

ZIMDRILL:


its not complicated at all if we take out corruption, she get half of what they aquired during the marriage

The problem is that most people are not educated to know their basic rights in marriage

And cultural route is biased towards women

My dear, this can only b possible if d marriage was contracted under d law. As it is, the marriage was contracted under d native law n custom. Except she produce credible evidence to show that d investments were jointly owned. What if d second woman get him contract a marriage under d Act? She will loose out completely because d second woman hold better title. My advice: let her stay put if d man ain't violent on her or d kids, if he's violent on her or d kids, she should take that up with d authorities ASAP. 27 years of marriage ain't a jock.

What God has joined together, let no man or woman,lawyer, or judge pastor or pope, put asunder, anybody here trying to help to skarter the marriage of another person, by advicing for a divorce or any other means , i pray God forgive you, repent now, for it will be terrible for you in hell,

BigJoe19:
Do you know one thing women don't know about men, men never forget how you treated them when they are at their very low, if a woman keeps nagging and complaining when her husband has no money, he would keep tolerating her till he becomes financially stable then bring in another woman and divorce the other.

Point is respect your husband more when things are not too okay.

Abegi, talk another thing. Always shifting blame.

It started right from the Garden of Eden.

"Adam, where are you?", very simple question. Adam start to talk another thing. Last last he blamed it on Eve, the woman God gave to him. Man has been blaming everyone but himself for his actions.

pocohantas:
I thought they said men never leave the woman who BUILT with them?

Now being a submissive housewife is insignificant.

You have to love our men

Always talking from both sides of their mouths. They will say a career oriented woman is bad for the family, but those that sacrifice their careers to raise the kids and take care of the home are useless and worthless.

2 or 27yrs the woman is fed up. For her sanity she wants out of the marriage. No one should manipulate her into staying. She’s unhappy... if it’s divorce she wants, then she will get it for her own peace of mind.

dominique:


Always talking from both sides of their mouths. They will say a career oriented woman is bad for the family, but those that sacrifice their careers to raise the kids and took care of the home are useless and worthless.

The aim is always to bash women.

I am sure if OP's mother came years back to ask for advice and some people here advises her to insist on working. They will call those people bitter manhating feminists, looking for a marriage to destroy. Very confused elements.

pocohantas:


Abegi, talk another thing. Always shifting blame.

It started right from the Garden of Eden.

"Adam, where are you?", very simple question. Adam start to talk another thing. Last last he blamed it on Eve, the woman God gave to him. Man has been blaming everyone but himself for his actions.

But you know everything was caused by Eve. Adam could not reject what his wife gave him because she was made from him.
Maybe if there was no Eve the world would have been better.

ZIMDRILL:


its not complicated at all if we take out corruption, she get half of what they aquired during the marriage

The problem is that most people are not educated to know their basic rights in marriage

And cultural route is biased towards women

Societal and social route Favours them....they can’t have it both ways, this is Africa. You and I know this isn’t the whole story.

A good topic that individuals can learn from but as usual ruined by the unserious elements here. Allow the lawyers to talk and learn from it please, the op does not care about your opinion.

meeky247:
This guy wants the d*ck of his father which he can not get.
guy cool down and talk to your mum. call your father to order and be that person that unit the family again.
anything other than the above you will blame yourself in future time.
The gods has spoken

Smart

Where are the "build up with your husband" chanters? Look at them asking silly questions like "why didn't your mother build herself" bunch of confused dingos, never consistent with their baseless utterances, nonsense.

Going by the info we have here I think she should separate and not divorce.

Is the other woman "manipulating" him financially too?

Does she have documentation showing her partial ownership of assets?

Does the man take care of the children irrespective of the marriage wahala?

Legally speaking, I dont know but generally she shouldnt go without coming to some sort of arrangement before she loses everything including the support for the 2 underage.

Not enough information!

dawnomike:
Since you her children are grown up, she may have nothing to gain monetarily or property wise. This is Nigeria!
And why is she thinking of what what she stands to gain if she divorces ?

She is simply very greedy and a disgrace to womanhood with her wapt thinking.

Can you imagine thinking of what to gain from the divorce?

Is she not the one pushing for divorce, so why wanting to gain from the Man from the divorce process? Is the children not enough for her as a reward?

Reffone:
Please this no be joke. My parents have had a rough path for 17 years now and a marriage of 27 years.

Things seem not to work out no more and she is fed up and wants to leave cause my father is married to another woman who seems to manipulate him and has no single child. My father is well to do so she wants to know her choices, what she stands to gain or lose along the process.

Please my lawyers in the house help out.

Pick your mum's side and milk the old man dry.

Reffone:
Please this no be joke. My parents have had a rough path for 17 years now and a marriage of 27 years.

Things seem not to work out no more and she is fed up and wants to leave cause my father is married to another woman who seems to manipulate him and has no single child. My father is well to do so she wants to know her choices, what she stands to gain or lose along the process.

Please my lawyers in the house help out.

Let things play out, while you and your siblings hustle for your own lives to prosper, so you can take care of yourselves and your mum.. Meanwhile, never cease praying with your church pastor or Muslim cleric.

ZIMDRILL:


its not complicated at all if we take out corruption, she get half of what they aquired during the marriage

The problem is that most people are not educated to know their basic rights in marriage

And cultural route is biased towards women

This marriage was contracted under the customs and from the narrative it appears there was no court wedding or marriage license

Therefore customary law applies and in most native laws of Nigeria this heavily favours the man

Assuming even they married in court, Nigeria is still skewed towards the man. He may easily throw her out and nothing happens. No court would divide a property or properties between a man and his wife unless such properties Re jointly owned in which case a court isnt even needed to determine title

If she wants a divorce by all account fine. For her peace of mind and general wellbeing. But if she is looking at the economic benefit I am sorry, she is in for a really rough ride

Get'em together pal....that's what a good child does. You do not wanna see your parents going their separate ways after staying together for many years to raise you. Tell them they didn't endure all these years to raise children without enjoying the kids together as they're all grown

Useless.........AND trapped.


This woman will soon be reminded how she did not contribute to the our purchase of the family home and everything else.

dominique:


Always talking from both sides of their mouths. They will say a career oriented woman is bad for the family, but those that sacrifice their careers to raise the kids and take care of the home are useless and worthless.

donbachi:
You better talk to ur mum to calm down and play along for the sake of her children.since your dad is well to do.before the very manipulative woman manipulate him into writing his will against the will of GOD for you guys.

Yes, since she has children for him and is rich, wisdom demands she play along, a bit prayerful, otherwise she might have her respite albeit temporarily, BUT the children will lose out las las.

Reffone:
Best advice comes from critics and people u don't know, no bad blood but we all learn daily

He's going to be exposed to a deluge of opinions. How does he know the best?

Now to my own opinion;
I have always been a supporter of "till death do us apart." However I do understand that situations arise which make this rather beyond unbearable.
The invader and daddy's new flame is more or less that, a temporary flame.
If mom can endure, let her endure and take solace in taking care of her kids and maybe some charitable service too.

If she has been doing that and thinks she needs a break from it all, then for her sanity, let her take some time off, if it ends in divorce then so be it.

God allows divorce on the ground of sexual infidelity. Matthew 19:9 (although it seems only the man is implied to divorce).

Fountainofyouth:
Where are the "build up with your husband" chanters? Look at them asking silly questions like "why didn't your mother build herself" bunch of confused dingos, never consistent with their baseless utterances, nonsense.

Easy dear. There are little information herein. Also a woman that allows another woman steal her man after 27yrs isnt blameless. If there are no cracks in d wall the lizard woudlnt have entered the house

Nigeria isnt ripe for the kind of divorce she is seeking

Men and their trash behaviour.

She should try more to salvage the marriage.
Maybe intervention from the respected family members or known people could help.

Leaving her man to a wolf of a woman is not advisable.

Reffone:
Please this no be joke. My parents have had a rough path for 17 years now and a marriage of 27 years.

Things seem not to work out no more and she is fed up and wants to leave cause my father is married to another woman who seems to manipulate him and has no single child. My father is well to do so she wants to know her choices, what she stands to gain or lose along the process.

Please my lawyers in the house help out.

Your Mother is no longer happy in her relationship with your Father. The word 'Dad' and 'Mom' do not deeply express the level of seriousness that parenting deserves.

Your Father has a new wife, a woman who has fully controlled him from 'the same issues' that led to the second marriage, and those 'same issues' surrounds your innocent mother. Mostly inter-universal misalignment of Soulmates. I get it.

What your Mother needs now, is Peace of Mind, Happiness, and Love, Yes Love.

Your Father MUST support her and your family as a man, and provide your Mother an accommodation for Life until/except she has another man.

And you as Children MUST ensure that you do not interfere but support the natural cause of events and ensure that both of your parents are comfortable in their decisions.

You do not need a lawyer, except your Father becomes unreasonable due to the influence of a third-force.

cococandy:
Yes she helped him build it. If he had to stay home to raise their kids, he wouldn’t be able to achieve what he did. That’s a fact.

Her contributions are valid and equal to his. Unless he considers the money to be worth more than his children and family. She birthed and raised them for the family. That’s a significant contribution to the family.

We look down on that because it’s women who do it.
because we are raised to not respect women and their efforts.

Reason why I can never encourage a woman to listen to her husband and stay at home in the name of being submissive. Unless that’s her choice made out of her free will.

After you spend your youth working to raise and keep the home, it’s discarded as nothing and you have to be dependent and subservient. begging for what’s rightfully yours. Even enduring disrespect so that you won’t lose out.

These people sha, how much does it cost to get a nanny to assist in taking care of kids, do the maths.