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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Men, What Is Your Issue With Marrying A Lady Who Is The First Child? (23952 Views)
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Men, What Is Your Issue With Marrying A Lady Who Is The First Child? by missimelda01(f): 10:35pm On Jan 08, 2020 |
So I get this awkward reaction when a man asks for my position in my family and I say I'm the first child. I really want to know what the issue is...is it just the bride price?? 6 Likes |
Re: Men, What Is Your Issue With Marrying A Lady Who Is The First Child? by blaise26abj(m): 10:38pm On Jan 08, 2020 |
missimelda01: Not really the bride price but the responsibility that comes with being a first child. His house might just be filled with all your siblings if care isn’t taken. 279 Likes 22 Shares |
Re: Men, What Is Your Issue With Marrying A Lady Who Is The First Child? by missimelda01(f): 10:40pm On Jan 08, 2020 |
I don't really buy the idea of housing relatives though, I like my space blaise26abj: 15 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Men, What Is Your Issue With Marrying A Lady Who Is The First Child? by thorpido(m): 10:44pm On Jan 08, 2020 |
The bride price in some cultures but mainly the 'responsibilities' such child is expected to have ...........help in training the younger ones if the parents are not well to do,might have to house one or two of them too 69 Likes 5 Shares |
Re: Men, What Is Your Issue With Marrying A Lady Who Is The First Child? by blaise26abj(m): 10:45pm On Jan 08, 2020 |
missimelda01:You might not buy the idea but your parents and extended family might buy it. With being a first child comes great responsibilities. And the guys might feel they are not ready to shoulder all that. 54 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Men, What Is Your Issue With Marrying A Lady Who Is The First Child? by decatalyst(m): 10:56pm On Jan 08, 2020 |
missimelda01: In most cases, it means more responsibilities and stress for the guy. Let's not even talk about finances, he may not be ready to provide the needed leadership responsibilities for you and your siblings...it could be draining emotionally and financially. It's a real man that looks beyond this and go for what he wants. 72 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Men, What Is Your Issue With Marrying A Lady Who Is The First Child? by MrBrownJay1(m): 11:12pm On Jan 08, 2020 |
missimelda01: stop hanging around immature insecure men... there is nothing wrong with you. 56 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Men, What Is Your Issue With Marrying A Lady Who Is The First Child? by Curiouscity(m): 11:16pm On Jan 08, 2020 |
missimelda01: I am married to a 1st girl, but second child. They initially appeared down to earth. But like play, like play, I trained the last 2 siblings through the University. At the moment, she is expecting me to help set up her married brothers in one business or the other. Everything always falls on my head. It comes with too many responsibilities and expectations. It is very challenging thing! 244 Likes 23 Shares |
Re: Men, What Is Your Issue With Marrying A Lady Who Is The First Child? by internationalman(m): 11:17pm On Jan 08, 2020 |
MrBrownJay1:So mature men don't have a choice of who they'd like to marry... 122 Likes 11 Shares |
Re: Men, What Is Your Issue With Marrying A Lady Who Is The First Child? by MrBrownJay1(m): 11:21pm On Jan 08, 2020 |
internationalman: if a man meets someone, care for that person, possibly fall in love with them then turns around and change his mind about that person, SOLELY because she is a 1st born, then i would be safe to say that this man is pretty immature, yes! 25 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Men, What Is Your Issue With Marrying A Lady Who Is The First Child? by poshestmina(f): 11:37pm On Jan 08, 2020 |
It all depends on the family background. I feel most men are scared of the responsibilities that comes with being a first daughter if the family is all relying on the 1st daughters or son's...and in most cases of daughters,the responsibilities become their husband's. My eldest sister has being happily married for close to 7 years now. Not like we are very wealthy ,we just don't depend on each other,no entitlement whatsoever not even our parents!!! Every body is hustling and only ask for helps when it's an emergency. The only sibling we are still training in school is our last born and it's a joint task...and our parents, anything and anytime you have to send. No pressure on anyone and any in_laws. It all boils down to family backgrounds . 140 Likes 12 Shares |
Re: Men, What Is Your Issue With Marrying A Lady Who Is The First Child? by yanabasee(m): 11:45pm On Jan 08, 2020 |
missimelda01: You do, but when you get married, some decisions will be seen as influence from your husband to divide the family.... First daughters are the mothers of the family... Burial and other celebrations are usually their responsibilities with heavy spending.. 36 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Men, What Is Your Issue With Marrying A Lady Who Is The First Child? by missimelda01(f): 11:57pm On Jan 08, 2020 |
But that shouldn't be a problem if both the husband and wife are doing well financially thorpido: 4 Likes |
Re: Men, What Is Your Issue With Marrying A Lady Who Is The First Child? by missimelda01(f): 11:58pm On Jan 08, 2020 |
Very true, but I'm sure there are ways to go about it without making anyone uncomfortable especially when there's money available. yanabasee: 2 Likes |
Re: Men, What Is Your Issue With Marrying A Lady Who Is The First Child? by missimelda01(f): 12:01am On Jan 09, 2020 |
That's a lot, she should also be supportive. Curiouscity: 1 Like |
Re: Men, What Is Your Issue With Marrying A Lady Who Is The First Child? by missimelda01(f): 12:02am On Jan 09, 2020 |
Leadership skills you say, he'd need that too when building his own home.. so what's the difference?? decatalyst: |
Re: Men, What Is Your Issue With Marrying A Lady Who Is The First Child? by Curiouscity(m): 12:06am On Jan 09, 2020 |
missimelda01: Not supportive in any way. From my experience, I will always advise anybody to look well and test his patience before marrying a first child. 27 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Men, What Is Your Issue With Marrying A Lady Who Is The First Child? by cococandy(f): 2:06am On Jan 09, 2020 |
Curiouscity: Does she work? If not, why? 8 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Men, What Is Your Issue With Marrying A Lady Who Is The First Child? by Curiouscity(m): 3:11am On Jan 09, 2020 |
cococandy: Sadly, this thread is not about me and my marriage challenges. But, my partner has a wrong view about money and responsibilities. She is yet to understand what family mean, or where her focus should be. She works, but she expects me to run the house, and still take care of her extended family members. 42 Likes 6 Shares |
Re: Men, What Is Your Issue With Marrying A Lady Who Is The First Child? by cococandy(f): 3:18am On Jan 09, 2020 |
Okay I’ll desist from further prying. Sorry for your troubles Curiouscity: 20 Likes |
Re: Men, What Is Your Issue With Marrying A Lady Who Is The First Child? by ZIMDRILL(m): 3:31am On Jan 09, 2020 |
missimelda01: Two things that can answer this question 1 people sometimes tend to study the past and present and in the present they find what is trending as a new culture, may be the guy has seen this burden of being 1st child and the responsibility that put in your shoulder especially from low income families 2 Every family differs may be the guy wanted to understand your family dynamics and your answer the would give him a clue of the general dynamics of your family 2 Likes |
Re: Men, What Is Your Issue With Marrying A Lady Who Is The First Child? by zed7: 6:24am On Jan 09, 2020 |
Marrying most Nigerian women is a challenge. Poverty rate in the country is too much that a lot of people see marriage as a form of poverty alleviation. Your wife expects you to shoulder her responsibilities, her family expects you to also shoulder their responsibilities while your own family also expects you to shoulder their responsibilities. That's why alot of struggling young men take forever to stabilise. Men should either marry from a comfortable home or marry a woman whose family has pride. Some families are not rich but they have pride and will never bother any in law. After all they were surviving all these years before in laws started coming. 121 Likes 10 Shares |
Re: Men, What Is Your Issue With Marrying A Lady Who Is The First Child? by crackhaus: 7:08am On Jan 09, 2020 |
Curiouscity:The Lord is your muscle. 11 Likes |
Re: Men, What Is Your Issue With Marrying A Lady Who Is The First Child? by crackhaus: 7:12am On Jan 09, 2020 |
missimelda01:Apologies for presuming, but it might have to do with your family status as well. If a man feels the girl he is interested in is the first child/daughter from a well-to-do family, it really won't be a problem. 8 Likes |
Re: Men, What Is Your Issue With Marrying A Lady Who Is The First Child? by Raalsalghul: 7:15am On Jan 09, 2020 |
missimelda01: Unless, your parents are middle class/well to do, I won't even advise my worst enemy to date a first daughter/child. What, is it with all the responsiblities your parents would heap on him such as training your siblings. Never! This was the first advise my dad gave me about marriage and more times than never I've seen such scenarios play out as the man gets to bear the brunt of catering for his wife's immediate family. 22 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Men, What Is Your Issue With Marrying A Lady Who Is The First Child? by Raalsalghul: 7:25am On Jan 09, 2020 |
crackhaus: Fixed! ![]() 2 Likes |
Re: Men, What Is Your Issue With Marrying A Lady Who Is The First Child? by 24kmagic: 7:28am On Jan 09, 2020 |
I will only have an issue if she's not from a middle class family like me. I just hate liability 12 Likes |
Re: Men, What Is Your Issue With Marrying A Lady Who Is The First Child? by missimelda01(f): 8:19am On Jan 09, 2020 |
Questions like this comes at the early stage of meeting a lady, sometimes they have no idea what the family's financial status is like.. they just assume nonsense and that's what is annoying. crackhaus: 2 Likes |
Re: Men, What Is Your Issue With Marrying A Lady Who Is The First Child? by thorpido(m): 8:30am On Jan 09, 2020 |
missimelda01:It shouldn't be but still the man would need to have an idea how much responsibility (financial) he would need to bear. 2 Likes |
Re: Men, What Is Your Issue With Marrying A Lady Who Is The First Child? by thorpido(m): 8:40am On Jan 09, 2020 |
missimelda01:Well you can't really blame them.The idea of investing so much into a relationship only to find out it is not really what you want is heartbreaking.It is like dating someone for a while and getting to know the person is AS genotype and you are also AS. Before they get to meet your family will be after spending much time with you except they know you beforehand. Personally,I like to know what challenges or responsibilities are ahead of me before venturing into something. I married a first child and first daughter anyway. 12 Likes |
Re: Men, What Is Your Issue With Marrying A Lady Who Is The First Child? by Efewestern: 9:03am On Jan 09, 2020 |
Curiouscity: You are a MAN. God bless you, and please do not forget to plan for your kids while helping her extended family. It's not easy. 15 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Men, What Is Your Issue With Marrying A Lady Who Is The First Child? by crackhaus: 12:28pm On Jan 09, 2020 |
missimelda01:Lol, I guess first impression. It shouldn't bother you, because a guy who genuinely wants you would try to act as cool as possible with whatever you tell him, then proceed to find out what he needs to find out as time progresses. 8 Likes |
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