PrincessJoyy:
Good day Nairalanders, pls I need your urgent advice on my present predicament. It is going to be a long read so pls be patient with me.
Been married for 11 years now and it was love at the beginning. My husband has been loving and caring but after some years the romance began to dwindle and the love I had for my husband began to drop. I complained to him but he came up with the excuses that he had so much in mind especially catering for the family. It continued that way till my love tank for him became empty so to speak. December last year something happened, my husband came to me in the night asking for my forgiveness for not showing me the much desired attention and care that I deserved that we should let the past slide to begin afresh, then we started dating again, taking me out and the joy and happiness that once eluded me was restored. He however, kept tabs on my conversation and chats with a childhood male friend without my knowledge and what he deduced is we still have feelings for each other and our chats was full of regrets for not marrying each other and we called each other first love. He confronted me with his findings which I initially denied till he brought facts. I never had intimacy with this said guy which my husband knows being that my husband is the one that deflowered me. We ironed it out and settled the issue. My husband expected me to end whatever it was with the guy though he didn't say so directly. My chats and calls with this guy continued without my husbands knowledge, until last night when my husband asked me what I have with this guy, I told him nothing. He said I should choose between him and the guy. I should severe/cut all ties with this guy if I choose to be with him, so I asked why, he said no arguments that I should do what he asked me to do. After much talk, I discovered he saw my chats with the guy (the one I forgot to delete). I got angry at him for monitoring me and told him in annoyance to take his phone (he bought it for me) and give me the sim, which he quietly did but refused to give me the sims. I dragged with him but he overpowered me, I also tried to seize his phone but failed he even threatened to vacate the house for me at that ungodly hour if I continue with my madness. After a while, I apologized to him, he accepted the apology but refused to give me the phone. I am using my laptop to send this. How do I handle the situation for peace to reign. I don't know what he feels about me now. Sorry for the long write up. NB I told him in annoyance that he is monitoring my chats because he bought the phone for me that I'll buy mine and he said not in his house that I shouldn't dare

PrincessJoyy:
Good day Nairalanders, pls I need your urgent advice on my present predicament. It is going to be a long read so pls be patient with me.
Been married for 11 years now and it was love at the beginning. My husband has been loving and caring but after some years the romance began to dwindle and the love I had for my husband began to drop. I complained to him but he came up with the excuses that he had so much in mind especially catering for the family. It continued that way till my love tank for him became empty so to speak. December last year something happened, my husband came to me in the night asking for my forgiveness for not showing me the much desired attention and care that I deserved that we should let the past slide to begin afresh, then we started dating again, taking me out and the joy and happiness that once eluded me was restored. He however, kept tabs on my conversation and chats with a childhood male friend without my knowledge and what he deduced is we still have feelings for each other and our chats was full of regrets for not marrying each other and we called each other first love. He confronted me with his findings which I initially denied till he brought facts. I never had intimacy with this said guy which my husband knows being that my husband is the one that deflowered me. We ironed it out and settled the issue. My husband expected me to end whatever it was with the guy though he didn't say so directly. My chats and calls with this guy continued without my husbands knowledge, until last night when my husband asked me what I have with this guy, I told him nothing. He said I should choose between him and the guy. I should severe/cut all ties with this guy if I choose to be with him, so I asked why, he said no arguments that I should do what he asked me to do. After much talk, I discovered he saw my chats with the guy (the one I forgot to delete). I got angry at him for monitoring me and told him in annoyance to take his phone (he bought it for me) and give me the sim, which he quietly did but refused to give me the sims. I dragged with him but he overpowered me, I also tried to seize his phone but failed he even threatened to vacate the house for me at that ungodly hour if I continue with my madness. After a while, I apologized to him, he accepted the apology but refused to give me the phone. I am using my laptop to send this. How do I handle the situation for peace to reign. I don't know what he feels about me now. Sorry for the long write up. NB I told him in annoyance that he is monitoring my chats because he bought the phone for me that I'll buy mine and he said not in his house that I shouldn't dare

PrincessJoyy:
Good day Nairalanders, pls I need your urgent advice on my present predicament. It is going to be a long read so pls be patient with me.
Been married for 11 years now and it was love at the beginning. My husband has been loving and caring but after some years the romance began to dwindle and the love I had for my husband began to drop. I complained to him but he came up with the excuses that he had so much in mind especially catering for the family. It continued that way till my love tank for him became empty so to speak. December last year something happened, my husband came to me in the night asking for my forgiveness for not showing me the much desired attention and care that I deserved that we should let the past slide to begin afresh, then we started dating again, taking me out and the joy and happiness that once eluded me was restored. He however, kept tabs on my conversation and chats with a childhood male friend without my knowledge and what he deduced is we still have feelings for each other and our chats was full of regrets for not marrying each other and we called each other first love. He confronted me with his findings which I initially denied till he brought facts. I never had intimacy with this said guy which my husband knows being that my husband is the one that deflowered me. We ironed it out and settled the issue. My husband expected me to end whatever it was with the guy though he didn't say so directly. My chats and calls with this guy continued without my husbands knowledge, until last night when my husband asked me what I have with this guy, I told him nothing. He said I should choose between him and the guy. I should severe/cut all ties with this guy if I choose to be with him, so I asked why, he said no arguments that I should do what he asked me to do. After much talk, I discovered he saw my chats with the guy (the one I forgot to delete). I got angry at him for monitoring me and told him in annoyance to take his phone (he bought it for me) and give me the sim, which he quietly did but refused to give me the sims. I dragged with him but he overpowered me, I also tried to seize his phone but failed he even threatened to vacate the house for me at that ungodly hour if I continue with my madness. After a while, I apologized to him, he accepted the apology but refused to give me the phone. I am using my laptop to send this. How do I handle the situation for peace to reign. I don't know what he feels about me now. Sorry for the long write up. NB I told him in annoyance that he is monitoring my chats because he bought the phone for me that I'll buy mine and he said not in his house that I shouldn't dare

Ladylite:


Aunty joy,
Aunty joy,
Aunty joy,

How many times did I call you?

Ahn Ahn, please you too use your normal married mind to look at it, if your husband left ladies to focus 100% on you for sake of marriage and you are giving him 40% because of some old fling or flame, is that fair?

You may not be a Christian but whatever you are please tell us, didn't you take marital oaths, my own man will not even talk about it, once he sees such thing he will happily go and cheat and not bother hiding and if I confront him he will bring it up publicly. So I am even scared of cheating or not being totally faithful.

True love will not do to others what you can not bare for them to do to you.

Marriage means you no longer have privacy, everything you have is now for your husband, didn't your parents tell you? Please have some shame, after 11years, what are you looking for again.

Maybe you married at a very young age so you still feel youthful lusts for your old flame but your husband has proven to be truly in love with you and ready to even awaken it after everything had almost died, that's not easy.

Please ma, save your marriage, cut ties with your past else if you can't then divorce because you don't deserve such a man. I believe you have parents or elders and they will advise you to do same. You have a good thing please do not let feelings for another who has not proven himself as your husband has done, don't let it ruin you o.

Be wise

izzou:
After spending 11 years with a man, you still chat up a supposed childhood friend, telling him you miss him, AND WISHED YOU GOT MARRIED TO HIM?

If your husband was doing same with another woman, would you feel comfortable about it?

Now, you want to buy another phone to continue your chats Abi?

If you want peace to reign, delete that "Childhood friend" from your life. That guy will ruin your marriage, sleep with you, and STILL NOT MARRY YOU. I'm telling you this as a guy

Don't destroy your life because of somebody else. Block that guy entirely from your sphere.

pocohantas:


I can't believe I read such rubbish.

Na toto dey scratch her. She has herself a good thing, rather than build on it- she is pursuing man upandan. Mthcheew!!!

I pity her, no be small.

After many knacks from the childhood friend, na to abandon am, and she will be neither here nor there

Fly we no dey hear word, na him dey follow dead body enter grave

PrincessJoyy:

I dragged with him but he overpowered me, I also tried to seize his phone but failed he even threatened to vacate the house for me at that ungodly hour if I continue with my madness.

virgoquin:

People like you that give women bad names. If the spark in your marriage is gone which one is more easier, running into the arms of your ex boyfriend or working it out with your husband.

farady:
So what is difficult in severing ties with your childhood friend eh, madam? You even delete the chats - meaning the chats are not what the eyes can see, bah? Madam, please respect your husband, biko. Your closest friend should be your husband and that your childhood closest friend should be his wife period.

If you truly meant well, if both you and your childhood friend reside in the same city or town, you can invite him and his family for lunch to foster mutual friendship, so that your husband and him get along, with the ladies doing their thing. If both of you live in different towns and you want to connect, you simply call in the presence of your husband, talking with his wife, give the phone to your husband to say 'hi' I am very sure that if you did this, there is no way your husband will harbour things in his mind concerning your relationship with that guy.

For now, "it has spoil" Na damage control you go dey do now. You need to grow up, be responsible and act responsibly like a married woman of 11years. Stop being stubborn or else na you go still loose. Your husband seems to me like someone that has plan B, C, D..... up his sleeves. Be kiafu and take caution.

bukatyne:


Just one question.

In all honesty, why are you still chatting your ex?