pocohantas:


I don't hate them, I can't see what part of my post means hate. Did I wish them evil? Doesn't change the fact that it is common among the poor and average homes.

This is not the kind of topic the Indimi's and Buhari's will be talking about. If I were from a ricc home, no amount of love will ever make me marry a struggling man. Their problems and mine are different, lets all face our type of problems.



Sis, it is poor troublesome peoples problem. Check all the stories and they have one thing in common, the relatives do not have anything doing where they are coming from or the financial gap between them is usually wide. Rich people are more of meddlesome, they like things going their way and standard. Hardly will you see an (mother) in-law with a hustle and space, come to leave permanently. I have never even seen one!

If OP's relatives are all doing well with their own houses/apartments, I am sure the thought of them coming to STAY will never cross his mind.

Jokerman:
This is a foolish write up.... I pity you... Try these and see how your end will be

Relatives can visit but not come to live with you.. Rent a room for them...

A word is enough

AshiraWealthy:
To come and stay as what? Do these relatives not have their own homes? I for one find I difficult staying with couples or another family.
We should respect other peoples privacy. I dont like people invading my privacy even as a single talk more as a married couple.
Come visit and go that very day. If by error, you stayed till late, by next morning you should be off. May you not learn to be receptive by a bitter experience... It's not about what you like or are accustomed to, it is about adjusting to reality. The earlier you know and understand that at a point in time, and as a wife, people will at one point in time seek temporary solace in your home, the better for you. I suspect you are not yet married

Meeyankee:

May be 3% no dey among.. Are you from Edo state?

Ryan03:
you see the woman (wife) as manipulative and a liar but the other women (mother and siblings) that you want to bring in to stay permanently are not manipulative and they dont lie? See how you cause problems for yourself

AshiraWealthy:
To come and stay as what? Do these relatives not have their own homes? I for one find I difficult staying with couples or another family.
We should respect other peoples privacy. I dont like people invading my privacy even as a single talk more as a married couple.
Come visit and go that very day. If by error, you stayed till late, by next morning you should be off.

edoairways:

You have to learn to adapt. If everyone decide to bring the so called ethics there would be commotion

Sprumbaba:


I used to be like that till this evil sister in law came on board. I will never try it again.

AshiraWealthy:


I'm not marrying any of you two. So I owe both of you no explanation.

Youngzedd:


I know my sister better than I know other women.

We grew up together so I know her better.

edoairways:

Yes I am from Edo

Pearl05:
It's good that the newly married couple be let alone to know each other well and be free in their home without burden of relatives from either sides.

My brother who got married recently told mum that after the wedding she will go back to his station with them. To rest after the stress of running around. When it was mentioned to me, I said no way that she won't go yet at least let them stay together for the first 12-18 months alone before on their own to know each other well before she can talk of visiting.

I told her to rather come to my house and rest. She is here now with me and the newly married are on their own.

Sometimes , the man doesn't know the stress and pressure he put on the wife with relatives coming at the wrong time.

After I had my last baby, barely 2 months old hubby brought his mother to come and rest. This move was stressful for me because in addition to the baby that needs constant attention is elderly mum that had to be attended to. Though hubby helps out at times at a point I broke down and was admitted in the hospital.

So the timing of visit is very important.

pocohantas:
I agree with you OP.

You don't want to know how much I love my dad and only brother. These are the two men that have supported me every step of the way. I can't imagine one FOOLISH husband saying they shouldn't visit or stay in our house or even thinking he comes before them.

It is my father first, mother and siblings, my kid, before my husband.

You can always get another husband, but never another family.

A father is the only man that will spend on you without asking for submission or anything.

My dad reigns supreme in my heart. I can take a bullet in the head for that man, but NEVER will I attempt it for a husband. You see how much I love him?

For that reason, he can come live with us. All my siblings can come, alongside my husband's own.

One big happy family.

CosmicJames:


Do you know the truth of this matter?
No lady can successfully separate her in-laws from her home without the help of her husband.

No women can separate you from your own people except you want it to be so.

I don't blame women that stop their in-laws from visiting or staying with her in her husband's house because I know that it is what their husbands want.

But their husbands are smart pretenders who put their wives at the front, and putting the blame on their wives to escape the wrath of their families.

Free the women! They are not the problem.
Their husbands is!!

Meeyankee:

But your says proudly Igbo? Are you a male or female?

AshiraWealthy:


I'm not marrying any of you two. So I owe both of you no explanation.

worworbabe:
Mumu People full this thread especially page 0.

Your relatives can't have their own homes abi. They must come and live with your wife and impose stupidd expectations on her.

You forget that the family you create with her will bear forth Children, your own Children.This is how some of you die young, creating unnecessary problems for your families in the guise of being 'men'.

No one is saying that you should stop relating with your parents and siblings. After all your wife has them too but there must be boundaries.

Your Mother as well as all of your siblings have their marriages to face and see as priority. You have to prioritise your own marriage and family otherwise you would be making grave mistakes.

If you say your siblings suffered with you, didn't her own siblings suffer too. This is the lamest line of reasoning I ever heard. Was she eating sand before you met her?

Many of you are better unmarried and I pity the unfortunate women that end up with you

Holyvet:
I you reject both of them,will you also reject me?AshiraWealthy

AshiraWealthy:
To come and stay as what? Do these relatives not have their own homes? I for one find I difficult staying with couples or another family.
We should respect other peoples privacy. I dont like people invading my privacy even as a single talk more as a married couple.
Come visit and go that very day. If by error, you stayed till late, by next morning you should be off.

madridguy:
Women should understand that these our relations have played very important role in the major parts of our lives.

AshiraWealthy:


Huh?

chronique:
I don't know what you guys are arguing about but I guess it has to do with how you all were raised. What are your relatives coming to do in your house if not to visit and go? If your relative has accommodation problem, can't you sort them out if you can afford it? If you don't have the means to sort it out immediately, it's a different ball game. I don't think any woman would be crazy enough to ask her husband's family not to visit him in the house but when it comes to his family members coming to stay with him, it's a different thing all together. On the issue of people going to other people's pots, you guys need to have sense. The kitchen is a woman's office in the home and you don't have the right as a visitor or family member to just go into the kitchen to start serving yourself food.

Even if you don't have sense naturally, the moment you go to a married couple's house, you should at least pretend you have sense and respect yourself. Except the lady is the free type that askes you to go into the kitchen and serve yourself, you have to wait to be served.

AmTruth:
For me I think women always get it wrong in saying no one should visit them when they are married, especially husband's relative.

As a married man I don't think after the support some of our relations gave to us before marriage should lead us not accepting them to our home because we're married. This sends a wrong signal about a wife and people should take note of this.

My wife has been very comfortable allowing my younger ones staying with us because during our courtship she knows I don't joke with my relations especially my parents and younger ones and I defined it to my relations also that no one jokes with my wife.

So in the house, everyone knows his boundaries And we are all Happy and my wife confesses that too. But that doesn't mean that sometimes misunderstanding doesn't come No!

Women should understand that these our relations have played very important role in the major parts of our lives. So meeting you as a wife in a later path of my life should make me deny their access to my home would not be easily possible.

Summit to your husband's decision on the home staying matter, if you want to have a happy married life.

alexola20:
Lol.Grand aunt ke?
I think all the women in my life are "village people" including mother,wife and MIL.

So you can understand how deep is this S/hit..lol

Ryan03:
but the other women you don't know are manipulative demons and liars?

Holyvet:
Yeah,you heard right.I just sent a message via this platform,and I want you flash me on 07052026828, lets talk.

eni4real:
Bye Bye to paranoid and Stubborn wife!!!

bukatyne:


Maybe if the men decide to be good husbands no matter what happens, the wives would not need their in-laws to be their backbone?